I second that Emotion
by Omnifarious777
Summary: Jasper was turned into a vampire during the civil war. He developed in a bloody world of consumption, power, rage, and thirst. In this new life he brought his own gift to read and manipulate emotions. His creator used him for his abilities but after over a century of feeling all that he did it was time to leave and so he did. Now he's alone, but not for long.(A unique Jasper story)
1. One is the LONELIESTnumber

**I second that EMOTION**

SUMMARY:Jasper was turned into a vampire during the civil war. He developed in a bloody world of consumption, power, rage, and thirst. In this new life he brought his own power to read and manipulate those around him. His creator used him for his abilities and his skills for her own purposes but after over a century of feeling all that he did it was time to leave and so he did...

AUTHOR NOTES:

My first fanfiction. :-) So excited. I've had so many ideas that have crossed my mind but this idea came to me a few days ago and I couldn't shake it. There's so many stories about the main triad of Bella, Edward and Jacob but I wanted something different. My first thought was Jasper. He's such an enigmatic character with a juxtaposition of power versus his past. This idea bounced in my head and I hope you enjoy it. :-) So far I'm only anticipating doing this story from Jaspers POV but I'll play it by ear.

 ** _DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

THINGS THAT DIFFER IN MY STORY from Twilight-

**Story takes place in 2017 instead of original time frame so all vampires ages will be slightly different. (I may make some younger and some older)

**JASPER- His gift will obviously be front and center in this story so it will be more powerful than perceived in original story.

**TIMELINE- Jasper is 156 years old. He was born in 1844 and joined the civil war in 1861 (At the age of 17). He was turned at the age of 20 (1864) and was with Maria for 116years. He has been away from the southern armies for about two decades.

ALICE-

**I love Alice to death but I hate how overpowered her gift is so it will be significantly weaker in my story. FYI.

**Alice is already a Cullen in my story. Her story will be a bit different as a result.

**Don't worry about Alice. She will still be bubbly, sweet, kind, and AWESOME. ;-)

VAMPIRES- They will be a bit different from base story. (Weaker in some ways since they are a bit overpowered in original).

**They will need to sleep on occasion.

**The amount they need to feed will be based on how much they exert themselves.

**Sunlight doesn't hurt them but they do get a little weaker in the sun if they are in it to long.

**Vampires can get stronger with age, though nowhere near as strong as the newborn stage.

**Vampires tend to get overly confident with age which can be their downfall.

MATES-

**Vampires have one true mate like in the original story but the bond can take awhile to be recognized by one or both of the pair.

**Vampires are possessive of their mates and protective even without recognizing them as their mate consciously.

BELLA-

**This is Jasper's story not Edward's so most likely she will not come into play. We'll see...

 _ **Words expressed like this** **-**_ This represents a power reading. This will mean the emotions Jasper is reading.

 **Chapter#1: One is the LONELIEST number**

 **JPOV**

 _ **Nothing**_ The only good thing about feeding was the end of it. I could no longer feel my victims fear, pain, and panic. I just felt nothing. Truthfully it made me smile every-time. I'm sure to an onlooker I looked sadistic, smiling over the human I'd just killed. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was smiling because their pain was over and they were at peace. I took a piece of my prey with me that no other of my kind did. Not the blood of course, we all took that. It was their feelings that I kept with me. Each one holding on to me in the form of a red memory. Each time I fed I had to virtually attack myself since I could feel what each of my victims did as I took their life. I suppose that made me the most masochistic creature on the planet. Repeatedly killing myself over and over again.

* **Shrug** *

I was alone now and had been for a decade after Peter, his mate Charlotte, and I parted ways. I missed them both. They were good friends but I couldn't be around the blood lust anymore. Ironic given that I still feed from humans myself, but for me it's different. I felt every emotion around me and I couldn't turn that off, I never could. As a result when we fed together, I could feel three needs at once instead of just my own. Add in the fear of my victim and it was just too much. I dealt with it for over a decade given how much better it was with just the three of us over the army I'd had to feel for well over a century. Peter being as close to a brother as I had, picked up on my pain and offered to part with me for a brief time so I could get things 'under control', his words. Vampires don't have control, that's an illusion. We are beasts, some would say monsters. Our newborn stage shows that basic truth, the RESTRAINT, not control, we show after that is just the beast on a chain, but those links can break. I've seen it a hundred times before, and I am no exception to that rule.

After I left... Maria... It's still hard to think of her now, twenty years later, but I digress. After I left... HER, I tried to fight what I am. It was foolish. I was over a century in age yet I didn't want to be what I was anymore. I felt like I was suffocating under the countless horrors I'd committed in the name of 'love'. Love... that's what I'd thought it was at the time, I don't even have a word for it now, and I'm an empath for Christs sake. There is no word for it, no single explanation for a century of whatever we had.

When I'd awoken from my change and Maria had explained what I was I went along with it, easier than I should have. I should have been angry, scared, or at the very least thoughtful. I was none of those things. She explained everything to me, and truthfully she didn't really lie, yet I went with it. I went with her. I took so many lives, and not just humans. My job was to not only train the newborns to fight in her war but to eliminate them when they were no longer useful.

Many of them I couldn't really have cared less for. Nightmares as humans and monstrosities as immortals. I was doing the planet a favor dispatching those ones, some of which I'd turned myself, under Maria's orders. Then there were some that were kinder souls, just trying to survive in this ravaged world they woke up in. I could feel which didn't deserve to die but Maria asked it of me and I obeyed. Honestly sometimes I wondered if, given what I could feel, was I the biggest monster of all? Doing what I did, despite feeling how wrong it was. I was young, foolish, manipulated, and used. That was no longer the case. I was alone now and I wouldn't be used again.

 _(I almost ended it here for the chapter but I decided to be nice) **:-)**_

I had just finished up a long stretch of time in Russia, enjoying the cold, as it were. It may seem strange for a frozen, stone like creature to enjoy more cold but I did. I despised the heat. It reminded me of my victims, and I didn't want reminders of what their flesh felt like as I sunk my teeth in their necks. I had passed through Alaska and most of Canada, when I decided to head back to the states. I haven't been back since I left Maria and I missed my homeland. I desperately wanted to return to Texas, but that was far to close to Maria and whatever coven she currently possessed. I couldn't say 'was with' because possession was closer to the truth. Maria's only loyalty was to herself and her quest for power. Why she didn't join the Volturi, I'll never fully understood. It would be a match made in a very dark place, and the world would be that much darker as a result.

I decided to take a scenic route through Washington State. I'd never been here before and it was quite beautiful. The amount of rain was something to behold. It put my senses on overload. Everything smelled stronger, my eyes had to work harder, and the sounds were muffled yet more beautiful with the slight echo behind the sound of the drops. I'd been running for about 12 hours straight from Canada through Washington and was feeling the drain. I slowed down as the need to hunt became forefront in my mind. I hadn't fed in almost 4 weeks now and there would be no putting it off further. Unlike others of my kind, I took no thrill in the hunt. It was a case of 1 + 1 equals 2 for me. I needed to feed and humans were what I ate. I took no joy in hurting them, and even less in making them suffer. My hunting technique was simple. Find the closest human possible, drain them fast and never look back. Charlotte once told me that I was terrifying to watch hunt because I was so fast and cold about it. She had described it as 'You see them, then they're gone'. I didn't understand what she meant but if it was terrifying to an onlooker and more, dare I say humane, to my victim then it was win win. Vampires made a habit of following others that they picked up the scent of and if I was terrifying to watch maybe they would think twice before crossing me.

I was over one-hundred and fifty years old and quite strong as well as skilled. I'd never lost a single fight, even when I was human. It was a title many would be proud of, given the century long war I'd been in, staving off ravenously crazed newborns day and night, but it came with a price. My entire body was riddled with bite marks. Vampire bites, as the only thing that can mark the impregnable skin of my kind were bites from one of our own kind. Any who saw me were instantly on edge and scared of me as a result. No part of my body was spared, though no spots were as bad as my neck and arms. Even with my vision and memory I couldn't count out the individual bites on any part of me. Maybe 100 total? Maybe more? It didn't really matter. Vampires were considered quite beautiful by human standards and many relied on that as it was one of our many weapons to lure in our human prey. Looks weren't something I needed to depend on, given my 'kill them fast' hunting technique however, so my lack of beauty from the scars didn't upset me. Besides to a human I would still look beautiful, as the vampire bites would not look as pronounced to their far weaker eyesight, but to a vampire I imagine I was quite unsightly.

 _ **Joy**_ Without having to try, I absorbed the emotion I could sense on the other side of the forest. Positive emotions were more than a drug to me, they were a lifeline. Human or vampire, it didn't matter. I used those feelings as a small battery to charge up the smallest bit of a soul I had left. I had slowed to a walk as my hunger became apparent and now I stopped entirely to absorb what I felt. It was potent, meaning more than one. I could always sense emotions from farther away than I could my basic 5 senses. This gave me an edge in defending myself from a foe or finding my prey, such as now. Judging by the level of intensity I would definitely say human, as vampires feel things stronger than humans. But it was louder, meaning multiple humans. I would guess 7... no 10. A party perhaps. Given the location in the middle of the woods, and the time of night, after midnight, I didn't need to be psychic to anticipate inebriated teenagers. I started walking towards the emotions, absorbing everything they were giving. I would need this in order to do what was necessary. Eventually I heard music at the same time I could smell them. I was correct, 10 human heart beats pumping loudly almost in rhythm to the music they were listening to. I took in a big whiff of their scent and felt the venom pool in my mouth. The blissfulness they were giving off tied in with the sweet, tangy, robust scent of their blood had my whole body tense. I generally did anything in my power to find a human traveling alone but I could sense no one else and since I caught these humans scent I knew if I left them to keep searching for different prey, my blood lust would just lead me back to them. By then my restraint could be nonexistent, forcing me to kill them all.

I was left with the only option being to lure one away. Risky, as the others would be able to describe me to the police and it could put any of my kind at risk that are hunting within the humans area of investigation. It was unfortunate but since I refused to kill them all, I had little choice. The best I could do was wait for them to be drunk enough that they would not be able to recognize me later, even if I was in front of them. Luckily it had been long enough since I fed that my black eyes wouldn't stand out to them, whereas my freshly fed red, would. I stopped outside of some trees and watched the teens talking and laughing around a campfire, drinking beer and having a good time. I closed my eyes and felt the pulse of everything they felt and allowed myself to feed from it.

 _ **Joy, lust, trust, hunger, exhaustion**_

My eyes snapped open at the last one. A couple of them were tired. I smiled to myself as I focused on that. After I wrapped my mind around it, I projected it forward. I aimed it at all of them at once. Almost instantly I noticed all of their eyes begin to droop. I smiled at how easy this would be. I intensified the feeling. I noticed two had already fallen asleep but unfortunately the rest were hanging in there. I closed my eyes and focused on what I was doing. After a few more moments I opened my eyes and noticed only two humans were left awake.

 _ **Lust**_

I rolled my eyes at the one emotion that could stave off exhaustion in a teenager. I unfortunately would have to take away the emotion from them, absorbing it into myself. I hated having that emotion at all, let alone taking it on purpose. It made my life complicated and had ruined my life more than I cared to think about. Nevertheless, desperate times. I focused on it and pulled it from the young couple. As soon as I did I was hit with a wave of ecstasy for what they had felt towards each-others embrace. _SHIT,_ it wasn't lust, it was love. I ignored it for now and pushed forth the exhaustion until they were all asleep. I sighed and shook my head as I climbed out of the trees and into the clearing.

 **END NOTES:**

First chapter is done. * **whew** * Please REVIEW and let me know what you think.

Story (SONG) Title: "I second that EMOTION" by The miracles- I actually don't care for this song but I love the title and it fit perfectly for this story since its all about Jasper (an empath) learning how to process feelings again after closing himself off decades ago. He does this by truly feeling others around him and finding those emotions in himself. :-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "One is the LONELIEST number" by Three Dog Night- Fitting chapter name as it's the first chapter and its all about Jasper being alone.


	2. Twice SHY

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 **Chapter#2: Twice SHY**

 **JPOV**

I needed to run. Playing God has never sat well with me, and that's what I'd just done. I had stepped out of the trees and picked which human would die tonight. Little did the humans know that when they chose to go out drinking with their friends that they would be playing an unwilling game of Russian roulette with a monster. As my wits came about me I remembered that the more energy I expended the sooner I would have to kill again. That thought made me immediately stop moving. I glanced around and saw that I was actually following an invisible line between a highway and a stream. I looked out to the road and wondered how many humans traveled it this time of night, or morning rather, it was about 4am. For whatever reason I stepped up to the road and started walking down it at a normal human pace. It wasn't like I had anyplace to be. I had an eternity to look forward to absolutely nothing, so why rush?

 ** _FEAR_**

The emotion pulled me up short. Obviously fear was an emotion that stood out but to a vampire this was a normal thing for a human to display. That was indeed the problem though. This wasn't coming from a human. The intensity was undoubtedly coming from a vampire... correction vampires. There's a coven here. My head looked around as I pulled the emotion to me to feel where it was coming from. East. My eyes flashed in the direction, then west. My instincts were telling me to go west, away from the unknown. I always followed my instincts, and why should this time be different? I was a rogue vampire, I traveled alone. I should not go near a coven, outnumbered, when I didn't know them.

Did they have powers? Did they claim these lands as theirs? Would they be hostile towards me? These were important questions that I had no answers for. That should mean I need to avoid the situation entirely and leave their lands quickly. My eyes went back to the east, to the unknown. I tilted my head as I starred in the direction, then I ran towards it...

 _ **FEAR, Curiosity, frustration, sadness, anger**_

Such a strange combination of emotions coming from the coven of six. I was keeping my distance. I could feel their emotions but I hadn't stepped even one foot closer in fear that they may attack. The largest coven I've ever fought alone was three and I'd only barely made it out of that alive. I wasn't stupid enough to assume I'd survive a fight with this group. The problem with emotions was it showed a lot but not nearly enough. In fact they often lead to more questions then before I read a thing. I knew every feeling generating from the group but I didn't know what the thoughts were behind them. I looked up and decided to give myself a height advantage. I climbed to the top of the tree and started jumping treetops till I got close enough to hear them. I only had to jump a few when I heard them. A male was speaking calmly to the other five as I listened. Luckily my training as a scout and the necessity to out-perform newborns had given me mastered senses. Most likely the coven would not hear me, at least not yet. Their senses may catch on eventually though so I would have to monitor for a jump in tension from any of them.

"What do we do?" _**FEAR**_ A female spoke. I couldn't quite see anyone so I slide down the trunk and lightly jumped one tree closer. As I did I could see 6 vampires in a circle talking to one another. Their body language was strange. It was so reflective of humans. Their shoulders were slouched slightly, and a couple of them were fidgeting. I noticed there were three females and three males. Great. If they were mated pairs and a male thought I was after his mate things could get bad... FAST. The only thing less rational than a newborn was a threatened vampire defending their claimed mate.

"There's only one. Maybe the nomad has already left?" _**HOPEFULLNESS**_ It was another female that spoke. Her voice was quiet and soothing. I took it she was high ranking in this coven, but not the leader since there wasn't any real authority behind her tone. My best guess was she belonged to the leader. One claimed female down, so at least one potentially hostile male, most likely the leader. ' Things are just getting better' I thought sarcastically. Why didn't I just go west?

They knew I was alone and they didn't like me hunting here. Understandable considering too many bodies could cause a huge problem and they already had 6 vampires that needed to feed. That's a lot of bodies to deal with. I'd gotten rid of my meal so there was no chance of exposure for the coven so at least I hadn't caused irreprable damage. I was no idiot and I never left bodies around with bite marks in their necks. The Volturi would kill me instantly for such stupidity and they would be right to do so.

"Alice, do you see anything?" _**FOCUS.**_ The first male spoke. There was calmness in his tone but clear authority. This was the leader. What did he mean by 'see anything'? What could this Alice do. Clearly she had a special gift but I wasn't sure what it was. Sentinel perhaps, or tracker?

"I see someone close. I can't see who it is yet. Nothings clear but HE hasn't left." _**CURIOSITY**_ Her voice was soft and sweet, like a child's. How did she know I was close? She also knew I was male. What did she mean by yet?

"I'm not sure Carlisle. If he is I can't read him yet." _**FRUSTRATION**_ Another male spoke but I was confused about why he spoke. It sounded like he was answering a question but no one had asked anything. Did he hear a question I missed?

"I really hate when you guys have your silent conversations. Speak out loud. Not all of us can freaking read minds." _**ANNOYANCE.**_ The last male spoke and in so doing, he revealed a lot. One of the number was a mind reader. I gathered that the telepath was the male that had appeared to answer a silent question.

"Emmett, the rogue could be close by. We don't want to reveal to much about ourselves." The leader spoke again. I didn't understand why he sounded so patient. If one of my coven did something so stupid I would not be as kind.

"Let's just split up and see if we can find him?" _**EAGERNESS.**_ This Emmett spoke again and I tensed. I didn't want them to hunt me.

"At least that way he may run off and it wont be our problem anymore." _**BOREDOM.**_ My eyebrow rose as the first female spoke again. Boredom? Jesus Christ, what was a potential threat to her land interrupting? Judging by her looks, long flowing blonde hair, tight clothing, and immaculate nails and makeup, one could only guess.

"Rose!" _**SHOCK**_ The second female spoke in a voice that perfectly reflected her emotions. "How can you say that? Someone died." My eyes stayed on the second female, the mate of the leader. She was **_SAD_**. Why was she sad? She couldn't be sad about the human... It was a necessary part of what we were.

"Maybe he's just curious? I bet he's lonely and just wants to meet us, maybe even be friends." _**CURIOSITY, EAGERNESS.**_ The last female, Alice, spoke. I caught myself smirking at her innocence. It was endearing. She must be young to still have such wonder. A few decades of this life would stomp that out of her.

"Maybe Alice..." The leader spoke and I frowned at him. Why was he placating her? He should be teaching her, educating her to keep her safe. If she keeps that innocence it could get her killed. Why would he want that? I found myself a little pissed at him. As a leader his job is to protect his coven, not baby them.

"That's unlikely Alice. The nomad most likely was passing through and got thirsty, then caught our scent." The mind reader spoke again and he was mostly right. At least he wasn't completely babying her, though his voice held affection. Her mate maybe? He wasn't touching her, and it was a males instinct to touch his female when a threat was nearby. I'd already noticed the leader, A tall blonde man holding the second female tightly to his side.

I was picking up no hostility from the clan and my curiosity was peaking, though that may have been caused by the small female, Alice. It was radiating off her in a tidal wave and I couldn't ignore it. Her feelings of intrigue were affecting me more directly than I was used to. I came up with a quick plan to get this introduction done before I went about my way.

The loud male, Emmett, was large therefore a clear fighter for the clan. He had short curly black hair and had gravitated to the first female, Rose. So this WAS a coven of mated pairs. Fantastic. I rolled my eyes at my luck. I would have to avoid eye-contact with the females if I wanted to stay alive.

I hopped down quietly. It was a skill I'd picked up from years of tracking stray newborns since due to their super hearing they could hear better than mature vampires. By silencing my movements I could take them down through surprise which was key to stopping any newborn. I walked silently towards the group. I made sure I was downwind so they would not smell me. I kept my mind as blank as I could to avoid the unknown males telepathy. I'd met a couple telepaths in my day but without knowing how strong his gift was it could be a fruitless effort.

I leaned up against the tree behind the group and folded my arms. Taking a relaxed stand that would show I was no threat.

"Hello." All 6 of them spun around and starred at me. I noticed all of them flinch at my appearance and had to fight a smirk. _**FEAR**_ They feared me, in all fairness though most did. My scars broadcast that I was a fighter and a highly experienced one. The fear could often keep a strong vampire from being a threat to me, but this was different. This was a mated coven. Their first instinct would be for their mate not themselves and the fear meant I was a threat. As soon as the thought came to me I noticed Emmett and the leader, Carlisle, shift their mates behind them. I actually heard myself sigh at the predictability.

My eyes fell on the mind reader and he was starring at me. I was projecting as much confusion at him as I could, without losing focus on the potentially dangerous situation I was in. His brow furrowed and I knew it was working. He would interpret his emotion as what I was thinking and hopefully leave my mind safe. He still hadn't taken a stance in front of the small Alice so I took that to mean she was not his mate. I looked to her next, not wanting to anger the threatened males.

 _ **JOY.**_ She was absolutely radiating it and it was intoxicating. She was smiling widely at me and I realized she was the only one that had not jumped back from my appearance. As soon as she realized she had my attention she raised her hand and waved it eagerly at me while widening her smile. She truly was just like a child. I gave her a small smirk in response. I honestly couldn't help it. She was so bright and I'd never met a vampire like that before. My eyes lingered on her and I noticed her eyes were golden. That surprised me, but as I looked at the rest of them I noticed they all had the same gold eyes to varying degrees of brightness. I could tell they weren't contacts, so what was the cause? I starred at her beautiful amber eyes for a quick moment before pushing the curiosity away. I slowly started absorbing her happiness, there was no way I wouldn't do it. It was to precious to waste. I averted my eyes next straight to the leader. He was looking between me and Alice. Great he'd notice my brief interest in her. I would have to avoid looking at her now.

"Hello. My name is Carlisle. This is my family." He gestured to all of them starting with the mind reader to the left of himself. His mate was still safely tucked in his right side. "This is Edward..."

"Esme," I gestured to his mate without looking at her. "Emmett, Rose, and..." My eyes went to Alice without my meaning them too. She was smiling brightly still and waved again. "Alice." I said it while looking directly in her eyes and I saw her eyes soften at my recognition. I averted my eyes back to the leader after I finished introducing them to myself. It wasn't meant to be cocky per say, just proof that I'm skilled at what I do. "Sorry I was 'close by' and overheard all of you speaking." I smirked while using Carlisle's earlier words to Emmett.

Carlisle glanced at Edward who shook his head discreetly, though not discreetly enough that I missed it. He was getting nothing from me which was a huge relief. The problem was it was taking a great deal of focus to project so much at him. I was pulling strength from Alice but it was such a complicated thing to turn one emotion into another. The whole process was exhausting and difficult to maintain.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" _**ANGER.**_ The blonde female spoke up and stepped around her giant mate to stare at me. My eyes landed on her and I noticed from the corner of my eyes, her mate stiffened at my attention to her. He probably thought I found her attractive, though nothing could be further from the truth. Surface wise she had positive traits but there was so much hardness in her that any allure was lost in her lack of warmth. This trait, so much like Maria, killed even the potential of being seen as attractive... at least to me. I generally didn't pay much attention to females in the realm of being drawn to them or not but when I did I preferred more 'cute' then anything this creatures cold demeanor allowed.

"My name is Jasper Whitlock." I gave her a customary bow with my head. "I just came down from Russia and hadn't been in my homeland in so long that I decided to step through here on my way south." There really was no point in hiding where I'm from. I never could shake my southern accent, not that I would ever really try.

"... And to snack on the locals of course." I didn't need my gift to catch her sarcasm. To my astonishment her mate chuckled and my eyes flashed to him before going back to her.

"Regrettable as it may be, it was necessary. I had not fed in a few weeks and it couldn't be avoided forever. I was unaware that these parts were claimed, or else I would have fed elsewhere."

The leader stepped forward and outstretched his hand to me. I took the necessary steps forward to close the gap and took his hand in mine. "It's a pleasure to meet you Jasper." I nodded in gratitude then stepped back. Suddenly without warning I felt something run into me and when I looked down I saw that Alice had run forward to hug me tightly around the waist. I was so shocked my focus was lost and I knew Edward could get in my head now, if he was trying anyway.

"Alice!" _**SHOCK, FEAR**_ All of the others yelled at once but she didn't seem to notice. She just held me around my waist. Her head only came up to my pecks. She was without a doubt the tiniest vampire I'd ever met. She had to hold her head all the way back to look at me from this angle and I would have been amused if it wasn't for how shocked I was. I glanced up at her coven all of which were starring at her as if waiting to see what disaster would happen before their eyes.

I looked down at this tiny vampire, intending to push her off but her big smile brought me up short. What do I do with that? "I'm so happy to meet you Jasper. I've never met another vampire, outside my family."

So much **_JOY, INNOCENCE,_** and **_KINDNESS_** was pouring off this creature that it nearly brought me to my knees. I found myself reaching my hand up to her chin. Some part of my mind was screaming at me to get away from her but I couldn't. Something about her was pulling me in. I'd never felt something so beautiful before and it was all coming off this adorably innocent and precious little thing. As soon as I touched her, I heard her coven gasp but I didn't pay them any mind. I held her softly with my right hand under her chin. "The pleasure is all mine, darlin."

Just as quickly as it happened, it ended. Suddenly she was out of my arms and I noticed the leader had pulled her from me. I narrowed my eyes at him when I saw how tight he held her arm. I let it slide though, after she gave me another big smile and wave. I fought my own smile to the best of my ability but it escaped. She saw and beamed as a result.

As I recovered, I started emitting confusion again, though I knew the reader had to have picked up something. My eyes went to him and he was smiling. Yep, he knew. "You're an empath." he stated it for all to hear.

"As you are telepathic, and little Alice 'sees things'" I didn't want to seem ignorant even though I still didn't understand what her gift was. My eyes flashed to her as I spoke her name. The leaders mate was holding her in a maternal hug now but she was still smiling at me widely. I shook my head slightly, fighting off the urge to chuckle at her.

All expressions grew serious, except Alice's of course, and all their eyes flashed between Edward and myself.

"EMPATHIC?!" _**JOY/AMUSEMENT**_ Emmett was laughing hard though I could take no enjoyment from it as I knew it was at my expense. "Not a very manly power." He was mocking me openly and I didn't quite know what to think about it. It was a little insulting but he clearly meant it playfully. Well, I can be playful too.

"No?" I pretended to be a little hurt by his statement. I noticed Alice's face drop. She thought I was actually upset. I felt bad that my show would upset her but I needed to put her coven mate in his place. I had to fight the smile when I saw her shoot him a death-glare, not that he noticed as he was still laughing at me while nodding enthusiastically. "How do you figure?" I kept the sad expression on my face. I was an expert at acting out emotions, given my gift. It was actually enjoyable seeing as most of the time I didn't feel much of anything that was my own.

"Men don't do emotions. That's chick crap." His mate glared at him but he still didn't notice, still watching me with amusement.

"Chick crap?" I puzzled over the terminology. How to set him up for this? "Like what?"

"Hormones, crying, and shit...:" He was trying to keep in his laughs now. I could help him with that. He would be feeling no amusement in a moment. I took all the joy he'd been feeling and turned it around, then projected it full force at him in a tidal wave of sadness. It was difficult to do as I had to do it to myself first to change the emotion. It hurt but I was used to misery, I would wager that Emmett wasn't. Quick as a flash he collapsed on the ground his head in his hands and I could hear his body wrenching sobs overpowering his whole being. His mate immediately was crouched in front of him before spinning on me.

"What did you do?!" _**PISSED OFF.**_ Uh-oh. Maybe I didn't think this through. I wouldn't let her think I was afraid of her though, because I wasn't. I just didn't want to piss of the whole coven by putting her in her place.

"I was showing him the illustrious 'chick crap' he thought made me weak." I shrugged. I released him and pointed to him from over her shoulder. She spun back around as he picked himself up and starred at me hesitantly, clear fear in his eyes. I smiled kindly back while glancing at the rest of the family. As soon as my eyes hit Alice she started laughing hard at her comrade and I smirked, in spite of myself, at the sound she made. It sounded like wind chimes. Beautiful. Shit I wasn't blocking Edward. I hoped he didn't hear that. I glanced at him but he was also holding in silent laughs while starring at Emmett. After that the whole coven laughed at his expense and I gathered that he was normally the one doing the mocking as he looked quite aggravated.

"Jasper, come to our home for awhile. We'd love to get to know you and for you to know us." The female, Esme, spoke directly to me and as soon as the words were out of her mouth my eyes flashed to Alice. She was smiling again and nodding her head rapidly at me. I smiled fully at her and her eyes widened. I realized that was the first time I'd really smiled in a long time. I turned back to Esme and smiled politely.

"I'd be much obliged, ma'am." With that the whole family started to lead the way. I followed after them, my eyes fixed on Alice, running beside Esme. Her eyes flashed back to me and I did something I hadn't done since I was human. I winked at her. _**ATTRACTION**_ I felt it just as her head turned back around. The emotion pulled me up short for two reasons. One, how could such a sweet innocent, beautiful thing be at all attracted to me? Had I been manipulating the emotions of the clan so much that she was confused? I tried to focus on this one question because if I didn't I was forced to focus on my second reason to be hesitant. The attraction I felt was louder than any one vampire and I knew it was because the emotion was coming from me. I was attracted to her as well, and that was a huge problem...

 **END NOTES:**

Second Chapter. Longer this time. Big Bad Jasper is no more immune to the sweetheart Alice is than anyone else. He noticed her and that realization is hitting him hard. ;-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Once Bitten Twice SHY" by Great White- Another fitting title as it's chapter 2 and the chapter is about the tension caused by Jasper biting a human. It causes some strife as well as nervousness. Not to mention Jasper and Alice's interactions... ;-)

 **REVIEW, FOLLOW, FAVORITE.** Happy to hear from everyone.


	3. UNSTEADY

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

This chapter was awesome to write. You will get a real feel for Jasper in this chapter. He comes off so mild mannered in the original story but I know he's capable of so much more. ;-)

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

~~~There will be a lot of emotions the next couple chapters~~~

 **Chapter#3: UNSTEADY**

 **JPOV**

 ** _ANTICIPATION_** It fueled the whole coven right now. Some of the members were more negatively inclined, while others seemed more intrigued than anything else. The most positive were Alice, Emmett, and Esme. I gathered Emmett had gotten past my minor manipulation, either that or he was plotting revenge. That seemed more likely given his humorous nature. He seemed the practical joke type, so I would have to watch my back till I left the group. The blonde female, Rose, was emitting the most negative of the groups emotions. She was **_ANNOYED_** and was also giving off a lot of **_RESENTMENT_**. Despite not being the mind reader I could tell that whatever her reasons were, they would irritate me. She was clearly the self-absorbed type, so whatever the reasons for her emotions, I knew they would be all about her.

The leader and telepath were mostly hesitant and I could understand that. I was unknown and they were taking me into their stronghold, however briefly. Truthfully I was as hesitant to go as they were to invite me. This coven was large and I was unclear as to the extent of their territoriality.

As we cut through more trees we came across a giant three story home. It was white and had more walls of glass than any house I'd ever seen. I was confused why we were slowing down until I smelled their scent all over the building. They lived here? My expression couldn't have hidden my shock at the domestication of this coven. I'd met covens that stayed in an area long enough to 'live', I used the term loosely, in buildings but something about this place seemed custom, like they built it here for themselves. How long had they lived here? The whole group had stopped a small distance from the entrance and had turned to watch me.

My eyes drifted to each of them briefly, though I avoided eye contact with Alice completely. I needed to sort through everything I was sensing so I needed to keep my guard up. I didn't particularly trust this group and I needed to focus on them no distractions, no Alice. That thought made me weary but I pushed it away, focusing on the emotions of the 6 potential threats watching me.

"Welcome to our home." Carlisle had moved next to Esme and had his arm around her tightly. I imagined she would be staying within his reach until I left their nest. I noticed Emmett held Rose the same way.

"It is... surprising." That was an understatement but the word summed it up as best as any. They all chuckled, except Rose of course. They invited me in and I followed them through last. The downstairs seemed mostly one space, open and bright due to the white paint and carpeting. They had lights already on, not that they would really need them with our eyesight, and it made the space warmer somehow. They led me to the living room and each sat down. Carlisle and his mate sat on the largest couch with Alice next to Esme, again I gave her no eye-contact. Emmett and Rose sat on the love-seat next to the couch while Edward sat in a chair on the opposite side of the couch. The furniture set up had all of them looking at me. That could have made me nervous except with my current positio, my back to the doorway giving me a quick exit if I needed it. There were a few smaller chairs around that I could use but I opted to remain standing, still not knowing what to expect from them.

"Please, sit Jasper." Esme spoke kindly to me and my eyes watched her. _**KINDNESS,**_ She was smiling in encouragement but I just gave a gentle smile back while shaking my head. I didn't wish to be rude in the face of her kindness but I wouldn't be comfortable being at anymore of a disadvantage than I already was. I glanced around and everyone seemed to be waiting for someone else to speak first. If I was a gambling man, I would anticipate Rose to be the one to get the interrogation going, but with a completely different line of questions from the rest. The group would probably at least attempt to be polite, she most certainly would not.

My refusal to sit, no matter how politely, caused the tension to get thicker. Not from my refusal but the anticipation of things to come. They would want to know the basic 5 questions; who, what, when, where, why. Who was I? What was I doing in the Olympic? When was I leaving? Where did I come from? Why was I here? All easy enough to answer, provided they didn't want details. I was only concerned with the how. How could such a large coven keep a permanent residence so close to humans? It was dangerous to feed so close to where our kind hold up. Even the Volturi never hunt from their own lands. It's far to risky, and they keep a strong distance from all humans, this coven does not. Drifters such as myself had things much easier when it came to the 'protect the secret' rule our kind follows. No clan to monitor or lead. No appearances that need to be made or saved. No concerns... just the bodies to bury.

"The human you KILLED..." I was right in my assumption of who would speak next. Ironically it was the one I was least interested in listening to. The venom laced her words intimately, and the final word was practically spat. I quirked my eyebrow at the blonde female in undisguised challenge. She did not intimidate me and I wanted her to know that. I believe in freedom of speech but in my experience our kind are... passionate when we feel we are right and others are not. Arguments rarely stay verbal and I would defend myself if she pushed me to far.

"Yes?" I kept my tone light and couldn't resist the smirk that came to my face as I felt her out. _**AGGRAVATION.**_ That made me want to chuckle. It was so easy to push her buttons. If she were human she would certainly have ulcers carrying around so much anger and resentment. _**RESENTMENT.**_ I somehow doubted it was me causing the resentment radiating off her now, rather it was something I most likely represented. Hmmm, if only I was the telepath. My eyes flickered to Edward as I knew he heard that last train of thought. He was smirking but was trying to hide it. I took that to mean I was correct.

"He was a local." Her mood wasn't getting any better and her tone suggested that her words explained everything.

"I gathered." My tone held no emotion, if it had I would have been speaking through the laughter. I wanted to keep my responses as brief and cold as possible to push her further. Being an empath gave me a sixth sense for calming those around me but I also knew just how to poke, to use others how I wanted. Right now I needed to feel her out, figure out the problem she really had. I knew it wasn't compassion for the human since I doubted she cared for much else then her coven.

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" _**SHOCK, DISBELIEF, AGGRAVATION.**_ I kept my face neutral and even added a slight one shoulder shrug. She was fuming now and I absorbed the rage she was putting off. I had a feeling I would need the charge to calm her down later.

"I left no witnesses. None of them saw a thing and I buried the body, deeply. No mess for your coven to have to deal with." My eyes discreetly scanned the group. Carlisle and Esme seemed saddened slightly, Edward was unreadable, even his emotions were in check. Emmett seemed uncomfortable and big surprise Rose was annoyed. I couldn't fight the urge to read Alice, though I didn't look at her. _**PATIENCE**_. Odd emotion to be displaying. I shook off my own curiosity it invoked and focused on Rose.

"It was recklessly stupid. Why you would go after a human in a large group is beyond idiotic. They all saw their friend one minute, then gone the next. There will be a search for him, police everywhere, a whole investigation. That will make it hard on us. We will have to be extra careful now for God knows how long."

"Stupid?" My tone held no humor but a great amount of malice. _**FEAR**_ Her eyes widened at my tone and projection. I knew it scared her a bit. It was the tone I used to speak to my newborns, to put them in their place. I hadn't used it in a couple decades but I would use it now. No one spoke to me that way and she would be no exception. "As stupid as living among the human population, showing off your clear 'otherness' on a daily basis." She made a motion to speak but I cut her off. "I can smell human trails all along the forest near here, they are all around you, and all of you around them." I tilted my head slightly to the side watching her squirm under my gaze. I fed from her small amount of fear and worry then increased it, only slightly so she wouldn't know what I was doing. I took a couple small steps closer. I wanted to smirk as she stiffened but I had to be mindful of the coven all watching me."Would the smarter choice have been to kill all ten? No witnesses I suppose but quite the waste as I only needed one. Would that have pleased you? Ten insignificant lives gone to make yours slightly... easier." I laced the last word with as much condescension as I could, making no effort to hide my disgust at her self absorption.

"This is our land." _**Rage**_ She didn't like being spoken to this way. Well that made two of us.

"I have already explained that I was unaware these lands were claimed. My goal was to feed then be on my way. Then I picked up your groups emotions and decided to make contact. Were you not listening before or had I interrupted your 'You time'... although I suppose every moment is about you." To my surprise Edward and Alice both chuckled. I had briefly wondered if I was crossing the line but clearly not in their eyes. It was normal for passions to rise among our kind and fights were common, even when no one had the excuse of being a newborn. Her mate however was not amused by my words. My eyes watched him as his jaw tightened and he shifted her behind him slightly. Maybe a fight would take place. I could take him easily but I would have to hope that his clan would allow me to defend myself so long as I didn't cause him permanent damage.

"Enough." It was Edward that spoke, surprising as I expected the leader to. "I've already read the rest of the humans. They have no idea what happened and no one has found the body. This is a 'missing person' case not a murder... not yet anyway" _**SHAME**_ He was giving it off fairly hard but it was directed inward, not at me.

"We are not meaning to judge you Jasper." Carlisle spoke now and I heard Rose scoff but I ignored her as did the rest of the room. "You must understand my family is a bit... different from others of our kind." Understatement, I thought to myself but decided to refrain voicing the comment and let him speak.

"I'm all ears."

...

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. They fed from animals? Carlisle, more than twice my age, has only had human blood when he turned his coven? He stayed with the Volturi and still abstained from human blood? I wanted to doubt him but his emotions showed only honesty. His first coven member was Edward, also the first to have a special gift. Edward had resisted human blood as a newborn due to Carlisle's careful diligence. I was beyond impressed by his control over his prodigy. He had never been around a newborn and yet kept him in check. He explained turning each of his coven members, ending with Alice, the most recent. I hadn't pried about any of their individual stories or ages but when he mentioned she was the latest, I couldn't resist asking when that was. She had only been a vampire for 5 years now. That certainly explained a lot.

 _ **LOVE.**_ Carlisle clearly loved every member of his, in his words, family. I could tell he had a special bond with the oldest, surpassed only by his mate. He spoke in such a way that I could see he truly viewed Edward as his son, not just his second in command.

"So none of you have killed a human?" That was clearly the wrong question for me to ask as there was a deathly silence in the room as soon as the words were out. _**CALM**_ I decided to help them out a bit. "I'm certainly not one to judge, I was simply curious."

"I attacked as a newborn." Esme spoke in a whisper and in a flash I saw Edward kneel in front of her and without a moments hesitation she tugged herself away from Carlisle to grasp Edward tightly around the neck. _**SHAME.**_ I was surprised it was Edward comforting her and not Carlisle. I was also surprised that Carlisle would allow another male to comfort his distraught mate. I suppose the bond in this coven was very strong. He pulled her up to a standing position and held her tightly as she sobbed and Carlisle watched them both quietly.

"It was my fault. I was watching her while Carlisle was away and she slipped away from me while I was taking her hunting. I should have been watching her closer, by the time I got to her, it was to late." Edward had turned to me while Esme kept her head buried in his chest. She was shaking her head, trying to disagree with his assessment but he just shushed her gently and stroked her hair sweetly.

 _ **LOVE, COMPASSION, SHAME, REGRET.**_ So much to feel right now I could barely breathe through it all, despite not even needing to breathe. "I don't mean offense but how did she get away from you?" I gestured to where he had been sitting. "I can tell you are fast, perhaps faster than most newborns." The silent question was obvious. How did she get away from him?

"I had to make a choice. I had taken her deep in a forest with no human trails, she was only a few weeks into her new life..." He trailed off while continuing to comfort her. I heard him whisper that he loved her and he called her mom and I was shocked by how truthful that statement was. She was younger than him but was still his mother. "I picked up on the humans first as I heard their thoughts." He looked down then at me and I heard Esme let out a slightly louder sob at what was coming. "It was a family. A father, mother, and 6 year old girl." I tensed knowing where this was going. Even vampires, as monstrous as we were, had our limits. "I tried to lead her away as soon as I heard their minds and it would have worked except she caught the scent. She was so fast, but I managed to stay on her heels. I broke ahead just in time to get to the human's camp. I knew I couldn't stop her... someone was going to die, so I chose who would live. I grabbed the little girl and ran as fast as I could." Esme was still clutching him and I understood why it was Edward comforting her now. She needed her son in this moment, to tell her she wasn't a monster. "I had considered just running the little girl a brief distance then turning back but I knew it wouldn't work. I heard the attack on the father and the mother try to stop Esme. It was to late for them both. I ran the little girl to the closest town and left her with the first kind mind I could find. I ran back to Esme and..." He trailed off and the rest of the story wasn't important.

"I'm sorry, it was not my intention to bring up something so painful." _**REGRET**_ I couldn't keep my own feelings contained. Esme looked up from Edward and to my surprise she came to me and hugged me. My eyes widened as she held on tight. I had no idea what to do. _**ACCEPTANCE, COMPASSION.**_ I was stunned. This distraught woman was comforting me. She didn't even know me. She saw me upset and was...reassuring me. I relaxed my stance but didn't know what else to do. I was not used to affection, and didn't know how to comfort her back.

After a moment she pulled away looking at me. "You didn't know, there's nothing to be sorry for." She watched me and smiled kindly. _**AWE.**_ I was truly in awe of this woman. So compassionate, loving, and kind. She may not have any human children, but no one could tell me she wasn't a mother. She smiled at the emotions I was giving off, almost like she understood this was my way of hugging her. She hugged me again then went back to her mate who was standing now and he held her close as she reached him.

I glanced around this coven and knew I had to stay awhile. I had to know them. I had to hear the rest of their stories.

Emmett volunteered his story easily, maybe to ease the tension after Esme's emotional tale. He made it through the newborn stage with a few close calls due to being so much stronger than his family but luckily their numbers helped stop him each time. Being mated also helped him through the blood-lust. I'd never encountered a vampire who woke up from the change and instantly recognized their mate, but that's what he claimed happened. Who was I to doubt him? He had a few accidents in his early years causing the coven to have to cover their tracks and relocate each time. He felt regret as he told the stories, but I could see he didn't let that hold him back and I could respect that. He didn't live in the past. We could all learn something from him, especially given vampires frozen mentality.

After that Edward volunteered his story. I was surprised that he had chosen to try human blood. Not from blind blood lust but from a desire to try to use what he was in a way to benefit humans. He hunted down the human monsters of the world; abusers, rapists, murderers. I could see the draw in such a lifestyle but I could also see how adopting such a complex would weigh on you in time. He lasted less then a decade doing what he did before he returned to Carlisle and Esme. After that Rosalie joined, though she didn't volunteer her story and honestly I didn't care to hear it.

All of the tales brought me to Alice. I'd avoided contact with her, even eye contact, the whole time I'd been in the house. I couldn't do that now. "So what's your story, darlin?" Why couldn't I stop calling her a pet name?

"I don't really have one. When I woke up... this way, my power showed up too." That had my interest piqued. "I can see the future." My eyes widened and she smiled sweetly at me. "It's not perfect, far from it in fact, it shifts constantly. At first I had no idea how to sort through it all. There were so many images, maybes, and possibilities that I think it helped to distract me from the blood-lust. When I was out hunting I would get so many flashes that my whole family could easily guide me to whatever I needed to feed from and I wouldn't even pay attention to scents around me. My 'sight' was always forefront. Before I knew it, my newborn stage was up, and the blood lust wasn't so bad by the time I got my visions under control."

"How old are you?" I had no idea why I wanted to know but I did.

"5" She smiled widely now and bounced in her seat. _**EXCITEMENT.**_

"I meant your mortal age." It was practically impossible to tell a vampires mortal age, and she was extra difficult given her petite size. She could easily be anywhere from 16 to 22.

"I don't know." My brows furrowed and I looked to Carlisle, her creator.

"I found Alice at a mental hospital. It was a well funded place filled with family members of the rich and powerful trying to hide their family members with problems. His eyes flashed to Alice. _**SYMPATHY.**_ I looked to her as well but she was still smiling brightly. Seeming to sense his hesitation she looked to him. She got up from her seat and practically danced over to the other side of Esme, where he was sitting. She plopped down in his lap and put her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.

"You don't need to protect me, dad. Those people, whoever they were, weren't my family. You are." He smiled at her and cradled her head to his chest for a brief moment before she kissed him again and got off his lap. I felt myself relax as soon as she was off. I hadn't even noticed my body tense. Why was I tense? Why was I calming down now? "That's why I say I'm five." She was looking at me, with her bright beautiful smile. "Whatever human years I had, weren't important enough to remember. They were filled with a bunch of people that locked me away to forget. Five may be young, but it's all I know, and I'm proud of it." She shrugged like she hadn't just made a deeply beautiful statement. I starred at her in amazement. She was without a doubt the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen and she had no idea how amazing she was.

"What happened to her?" I was still looking at her but I spoke to Carlisle. It felt strange to ask a question about her when she was right in front of me but since she had no memories, who else would I ask.?

"The reason I was at the hospital was I had picked up the scent of a vampire. I'd been working at a nearby hospital and was on a hunt before heading home." Again my body tensed. She had been hunted by a 'traditional' vampire. "I called home to let them know what was happening before I went in the building. I could smell so much blood and there were bodies everywhere. Only the first couple had been drank from though. All the people had been killed by snapping their necks. It was if the vampire was looking for something and after quickly determining that none of the humans were it, he disposed of them quickly..."

"La tua Cantante." Carlisle's eyes landed on me at my words and he nodded. I'd heard of the irresistible 'singer' connection but had never experienced it myself.

"I followed the vampires scent and found him in a room with Alice. He had broken her arm, her leg, and had cut her open with a knife so he could drink without turning her. I think he wanted to... enjoy the experience." _**DISGUST, SADNESS,**_ _ **RAGE**_. I reigned in the rage as I didn't want to cause a huge problem with the whole family. "When he saw me he immediately tried to shield her from me, afraid I would take her from him. He appeared almost like a newborn due to the lack of control, yet his sadism made it apparent he wasn't."

"He was a monster." Esme spoke while holding Alice, who had cuddled into Esme's arms. My dead heart tensed thinking of what Carlisle had seen, when he found Alice. Despite all my efforts to all but ignore her this whole time, now I couldn't seem to take my eyes off her. She was still curled up with her mother but her eyes were on me, and I didn't look away. _**AFFECTION**_. I couldn't resist sending that to her alone. I had an irrational need to comfort her, to let her know I cared, at least in whatever way I could. She continued smiling brightly at me.

"He attacked me and during the fight, everyone showed up so he took off. She was so badly injured I turned her and we took her home." He smiled at Alice who met his gaze with a big smile. She looked back at me and I gave a small smile in response.

Suddenly her eyes glazed over and without thinking I stepped towards her. "Are you okay?" I caught myself before I reached for her. It was almost like I couldn't control my body for a moment. I was standing quite close to her now and she looked up from her mothers arms, eyes now in focus. She uncurled herself from Esme and reached up for my hand. Without a thought I held her hand.

"I saw your future." My head tilted in question. That's what the glazed expression was. She was seeing the future. My future. She jumped up from the couch and led me over to an unoccupied chair slightly away from everyone. Without prompt I sat down and she sat down on the ground in front of me. She crossed her legs and looked up at me expectantly.

I wasn't sure what my facial expression was but I assumed I had the face of someone completely lost. She was bouncing on the ground staring at me. _**ANTICIPATION**_.

"Well..." She waved her hand in a continuing motion. _**IMPATIENCE.**_ I tilted my head to the side watching her. I've always considered myself a master of my own emotions but right now I was a little confused by myself. I should be annoyed by her but I wasn't. All I could feel was serene and happy. All I could think about was how to keep her smiling like that.

"Well what, darlin?" there was no fighting it, apparently that was the only thing I knew to refer to her as.

"You're going to tell us your story." I tilted my head again, firmly aware that I hadn't taken my eyes off her in a long time. She bounced in her seat excitedly and I let a breath out. I looked up at the family as I readied to tell my story.

 **END NOTES:**

Third Chapter down. I need more reviews and followers for encouragement. As you may have noticed each chapter is a song as well as has an emotion in all caps. This is just something fun I did. :-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "UNSTEADY" by X ambassadors- One of my absolute favorite songs. Technically about a 'broken home' but the lyrics work from a different view if you take it more symbolically. Part of Jasper wants to hold on to the idea of belonging but he doesn't know if he can fit it.


	4. HATE me

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

~~~This is the chapter that inspired the whole fanfic story. I always thought Jasper was very much downplayed in the books, and practically ignored in the movies. The viewpoint of an empath in a warzone for a century is fascinating to say the least. Jasper has his own way of seeing, feeling, and understanding those around him. Jasper is so soft spoken in the original story and this is my determination of how his mind works and how he truly SEES everything.

~~~Jasper will not be as blood thirsty in this story as in original. It never made sense to me that someone who can feel their victims pain would be so blind to the thirst. _**My Jasper**_ will be quite different in his blood-lust, control, and abilities

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

 **Chapter#4: HATE me**

 **JPOV**

"I was born in 1844, in Texas. When I turned 17 I joined the confederate army in the civil war." _**SURPRISE**_. The family looked to each other then me in astonishment, whether that was over my prior allegiance or my age, I wasn't sure. "When I was 20, I was turned." I had no intention of talking about Maria and hoped they didn't press the topic.

"That would have been 1864?" Carlisle was quiet when he spoke. It was obvious that he knew what was happening in the south at that time. I nodded in response to his question. He nodded back, mostly to himself, then he discreetly began taking in my scars. _**CONCERN.**_ He was clearly putting my past together now. I saw his eyes glance to Edward who glanced back and nodded. I chuckled at their minds on clear overdrive. The whole family looked at me in confusion now. Clearly they hadn't noticed the silent conversation between their leaders.

"As you clearly have figured out, I was turned for the southern armies." I looked around and saw confusion on the three youngest members faces and horror on the senior three. "After my transformation my power revealed itself immediately. Our creator saw the... use in such a thing."

I had to work so hard at this point to shield my mind from Edward. He didn't seem the prying type, more silently contemplative. Regardless of this though, he had clear loyalty to the leader and would tell him anything he read from me. It was hard to keep my mind focused on sending him confusion as the only emotion I could really feel was resentment. Resentment of what was done to me, resentment that I went along with it, and resentment over the fact that over a century of my life had been a series of lies and manipulations.

"I'm lost." Emmett brought me out of my musings. I forgot how young these vampires were. Next to Carlisle I was the oldest, and by a significant amount. Apparently they knew nothing of the southern wars. I looked to Carlisle to explain it to his younger members but he just watched me with _**CURIOSITY**_. It was coming off all of them, even Rose, though she still gave off **_DISTRUST_** as well. Clearly Carlisle wanted to hear this from my point of view. So much for avoiding this topic.

"For well over 200 years the south has been in a war for control. Vampires competing with other covens for territory from which to... feed." Emmett nodded in understanding, no judgments. Rosalie however was looking at me in disgust and her emotions only screamed her obvious feelings more. "When this started covens were getting decimated in the battles. As you well know, most covens start with the finding of ones mate." I glanced around and they all nodded. I felt a pull to meet my eyes with Alice's but I fought the urge. "Well these battles meant vampires were losing their mates, the one thing a vampire can't lose and stay... sane."

I couldn't help but smile without humor as I shook my head and starred off. "At some point early on, one such aggrieved vampire, insane on the idea of avenging his mate came up with a plan. He created a small cluster of newborns to fight the opposing clan. He knew with their superior strength, the opposing coven wouldn't stand a chance. His goal was to kill them all, but he didn't really consider the consequences."

"Like what?" _**INTRIGUE.**_ Emmett was all ears. He leaned forward, arms on his knees as he listened to me. I almost laughed at how human the physical reaction was. Exactly how much time did these vampires spend with humans?

"Classic 'butterfly effect' meets a line of dominos. The Civil war drew in the vampire covens because of the easy access to humnas that no one would question when they went missing. However it was like the Gold Rush in California. To many people with the same plan. So many vampires with the same idea that the number of missing humans would certainly be noticed. The whole southern blood war came out of concern that there wasn't enough humans to feed all the vampires in all of the covens. The problem now was that newborns need an average of twenty times more blood than a mature vampire. Add in the opposing clans panic at their losses, and you have an escalating problem." I noticed that all of them were watching me intently now. "When people panic they tend to get desperate. Desperation breeds stupidity. Quickly every coven decided they would rather risk newborns then themselves. Every clan created them, then the whole point of everything changed. Whereas first the war was to feed ones coven, the war became a war to sustain their armies as well as keep the other covens numbers down enough so as to not attract the Volturi." I laughed thinking back to the time I was approached by the demon twins of the Italians. A story for another time. "The war created more vampires, rather than thining the numbers. Ironic really." I chuckled darkly, my eyes flashing between each member, curious about what each felt on the topic.

"I don't understand." I looked down at Alice, who had spoken so quietly in her confusion. She was still seated in front of me like a little girl in kindergarten during story-time. Despite everything I couldn't resist smiling slightly at her wide curious eyes. I couldn't deny how charmed I was by this creature.

"What don't you understand?" I spoke softly, absently sending her encouragement vibes. I didn't like how reserved she was acting. I liked her joyful and bright, my own personal ray of sunshine. I stiffened at my own thoughts as soon as they came to me. I needed to step back from whatever was happening with this little one. I couldn't allow whatever it was.

She glanced at Carlisle shyly, then back to me, then to Edward, then me again. I was surprised to see her so hesitant. It didn't sit right on her. _**CONFIDENCE**_. I radiated it to her alone. She relaxed and her bright smile came back. I fought smiling back but gave her a small smirk.

"Carisle taught us about the Volturi. They protect our race from exposure. Why would they allow these armies? Their only goal is to 'keep the secret'." I wanted to laugh at her naivety but wasn't sure she would appreciate it. I glanced to the leader, hoping he could soften that blow. To my amazement he seemed just as curious as her.

My eyes bounced between her, Carlisle, her again, then each member, before landing on her once again. I smiled at how innocent they all were. I shook my head and watched her for a long moment before looking past them all, out the glass wall and into the forest. "Don't fool yourself into believing that." My words came out harsher than I intended but I wasn't looking at her to know her expression. _**HURT.**_ It was minor but there, I'd managed to hurt her feelings slightly and that didn't sit well with me at all. I had an attachment to her happiness and causing her pain upset me. On the other hand, being honest with her would keep her safe. "The Volturi's only goal is the same one as the first southern armies. POWER." I looked back to the coven in front of me. "It all comes down to power. The Volturi saw a huge opportunity with the armies. One that had they tried to do themselves, there would be no hiding their intentions from the rest of the vampire world."

"What do you mean?" _**FEAR, DOUBT.**_ Carlisle was questioning the leaders he considered friends. Well he should definitely be scared of what the corrupt Italians are capable of.

"The chance to add members to their little collection." My eyes rested on Carlisle and he met my stare. With clear meaning I set my eyes first on Edward, then Alice before looking back at Carlisle. The meaning was clear in my eyes. Carlisle stiffened at what he was beginning to put together.

"Ummm, could you stop speaking in riddles? It's a bit annoying." Leave it to the big one to cut through the pretense.

I chuckled. "When making a newborn army there's a high, shall I say, turnover rate?" Emmett still looked confused so I elaborated. "Newborns fight with each-other over everything, from something important like blood, to someone insignificant such as who looked at them wrong. As a result of this each army had to replace their numbers frequently as the newborns would constantly kill each-other." _**SHOCK.**_ Esme's hands went to her mouth and her eyes grew wide. "We are quite replaceable by our creators, with a few exceptions." _**SYMPATHY.**_ Esme was directing a lot of concern and sadness at me. She was putting together some of what I went through and was horrified by it.

"Is that where your scars came from?"

I looked at Alice for a very long moment before I answered. I never spoke of my scars as the stories were numerous and painful but I couldn't shake the urge to give her something of my past. "Some of them." It wasn't much but it was more than I gave to most people. I left it at that before I looked back to her family.

"The Volturi always kept agents nearby, under the illusion of making sure things didn't get out of hand, but they never made a move to stop anything."

"Why were they really there?" _**EXCITEMENT.**_ Emmett was as into this story as Carlisle and Alice were. Edward was hard to read, intent but passive. Rosalie I couldn't be bothered with to even pay attention to and Esme just seemed sadder as my story went on. She was clearly the heart of this little 'family'.

"The best way to describe them would be to call them Talent Scouts." I smiled with zero humor. "So the reason they were there was to recruit of course." I spoke in a mockingly light voice. "So many humans being cycled through, it increased the odds of finding... gifted vampires."

"Oh my God." Carlisle whispered the words but we all heard them. I chose to ignore his inner struggle to believe our worlds leaders were capable of such things.

"I myself was approached many times by different members."

"They allowed you to refuse?" Edward spoke for the first time and he seemed intrigued but weary. Carlisle was an obviously smart man but there was something about Edward's intelligence. He mulled things over without letting the important things go unsaid. It was a peculiar balance that few had. Carlisle was almost overly patient but Edward had a perfect process in how he delivered his statements and questions. One would think he was much older than a mere century.

I chuckled and nodded. "They didn't really have a choice. They had to play nice when it came to me."

"Why?" Rosalie spoke now. I didn't look at her but answered the question.

"I was... well known in the territories, highly feared and respected by my coven, and... possessed by my creator. They couldn't really take me by force without their power grab going unnoticed.

"What made you refuse?" Carlisle asked softly. I shrugged.

"Why would I agree? They were unknown to me and their power hungry emotions were worse than the newborns blood-lust, not exactly intriguing to me." I shrugged again. Joining the Volturi held zero interest to me.

"Why were you feared?" Alice spoke again and I looked at her. This moment could work well for me and my plan to keep her away. I could tell her the complete truth and she would want to stay as far from me as possible. At least her curiosity would be alleviated.

"My job was to train the newborns. I was always a skilled and methodical fighter, that's why I was chosen when I was human for the army. My creator wanted a newborn that could use at least some skill, over all the blood-rage. It worked well. I was able to fight, with control, from the beginning and after my first year I was made the general of the army, training each newborn..." I trailed off while keeping eye-contact with her. "and eliminating them when they became obsolete."

 _ **HORROR.**_ The feeling radiated off the clan but not from Esme or Alice. _**PITY.**_ Esme felt bad for me. _**UNDERSTANDING**_ Alice scooted a little closer and to my immense surprise she reached forward and grasped my hand, that I hadn't noticed was clenching the armrest of my chair to the point of actually damaging it. She gave it a quick squeeze before letting go and backing up to her original spot. I just starred at her. Who was this creature? Was it even possible to have so much light in you?

"Did you make any of them yourself?" Edward asked and again there was very little emotion behind his question and no judgments. He was trying to get as much detail as possible before coming to any conclusion.

"Yes." The one word response weighed heavily on me. I felt like my organs had been laid out in front of me. Who knew one word could lay out so much regret?

"How could you do something like that? Kill your creations, like they were absolutely nothing. Did they mean nothing at all?"

 ** _FEAR._** I was pissed at this point. How could I do such a thing? My creations? Mean nothing? She had no idea how much everything meant. I radiated fear at her while starring my blood red eyes into her amber ones. When I did this the emotions I projected intensified. She jumped up and against the wall behind her. I stood slowly as Emmett jumped up and took a stand in front of her. My eyes stayed trained on her as I paced in front of the family. Despite the movement I was careful to keep my eyes on her the whole time. After a few moments I stopped radiating the fear as I didn't need to. She was terrified of me all on her own. GOOD. Emmett growled and my eyes went to him. I stepped back to the wall closest to the door and leaned against it casually.

"My creator asked me to do it, so it was done." My tone was ice cold, no emotion. My eyes stayed on the mated pair that were a potential threat to me. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Esme try to grab Alice, who had stood up when I did, and pull her closer to them all, farther from me, but Alice wouldn't move. Her eyes were on me, but I kept my own forward.

"Just like that, no free will." I had to hand it to Rose, she could still sound confident in her responses despite the terror she was feeling.

"When a vampire creates another they are naturally bonded. The younger one will always have a pull to their creator. It's a natural response in our kind to try and offset the superior strength a newborn has so that their sire has a chance to control them." There was so much more to the power Maria had over me but I'd be dammed if I laid myself out bare to this woman.

"Not on that kind of level. You should have been capable of compassion. You're an empath for gods sake. Didn't you feel how wrong it was?" Her words could almost sound like a parent scolding a child gently but strongly at the same time. Her tone however held no high wisdom just her own sense of superiority and inflated ego.

"Compassion?" I chuckled at the word, coming from her of all people. She was among the least compassionate people I'd ever met and I'd only needed to know her for a few short hours to see that. "Is that your guiding light? The thing that fuels you?" I was trying not to laugh at my questions. The mere idea of her with compassion was frankly hilarious. "Forgive me, but you don't exactly radiate compassion yourself." I tilted my head, sensing an opportunity to bait her into revealing more of herself, her reasons for being as she is. "I'm curious..." I allowed my words to trail off, knowing it would annoy her. When people were angry they often spoke without a filter, giving me a glimpse into what they are really thinking.

"About what?!" ** _ANGER._** Bingo, the kitten wants to pounce.

"Clearly human aren't your favorite things as they prohibit your freedom to just be." I softened my tone and expression. **_CALM._** This should ease her just enough. "Why spare humans? Why feed from animals? You could be an avenging angel. Taking from humans, what you lost."

"I would NEVER feed from a human! I would never take such a thing from them!"

"Take what?"

"A reason to live, to exist!" **_RAGE, RESENTMENT, PAIN, SADNESS_**.

The mystery was becoming clearer, now. "A valiant goal." I didn't even attempt to hide my sarcasm. The idea that she knew what was 'reason to live for' in regards to others was disgustingly vain. Who was anyone to decide what other peoples purpose was? "It's so wonderful that we all have you to tell us that our lives aren't worth living, that life is pointless without YOUR determination of purpose." She was stewing and I could feel **_HATRED_** pouring off her. Was this woman turned while PMS'ing? A crude question and normally I would never think such a foul thing about a lady but her emotions were so up and down, and always extreme. It was like she truly felt the world was out to get her. News flash, the world doesn't care about any one of us enough to be out to get us. The sun rose and set before us and it would go on doing so after us. I tilted my head while putting more of her puzzle in place.

"Why stop there?" I put mock excitement in my tone, even widening my eyes like a brilliant idea came to me. "Why only judge and preach about what the meaning of life is? Show everyone. ...Show the humans all your God like compassion. Grant them mercy and take out all without your divine purpose." I braced myself for what I was about to say. There would be consequences.

"Who should you sacrifice?" My rhetorical question was met with silence around the room. Alice's eyes had glazed over and Edward was watching her intently while simultaneously glancing around the room. "Just the men?" **_ANGER._** "Just the women?" **_LOATHING._** AHHH... There it was. Her reason was clear. now. I smiled as she stiffened under my gaze. "Or just the STERILE women?" **_INRAGED, CONTEMPT, PAIN._**

The next moment she charged me and without hesitation I dodged then spun her around, reaching my left arm around her throat. I brought her down to kneel in front of me, facing her clan. She had no skill and was easy to subdue. Now for the hard part... Emmett. He charged me with the quacking presence of a stampede of enraged rhinos. With my right hand I caught his fist and snapped with all the strength I had, dislocating his arm instantly. I kicked him back.

 ** _LETHARGY, CALM, PEACE, SADNESS._** I channeled everything I could into calming down her mate. His injury gave me the opening I needed and it worked slightly. He saw the weakened position she was in, and it caused a wave of helplessness. One strong thrust of my arm and I could decapitate her easily. I wouldn't but he didn't know that. Carlisle had stood immediately... as had everyone else. Edward made a move towards me but Alice grabbed his arm. I noticed her eyes were still glazed over.

"My word is my bond. I promise I will not attack any of you... unless of course you attack me first." My eyes shifted to each member. **_FEAR._** They were afraid for her. Emmett went to charge me again but Carlisle and Edward held him back.

I leaned down so my voice was close to her ear. It wasn't necessary as she could hear me fine, but it would help concentrate the **_HELPLESS_** feelings I was overwhelming her with. That in combination with the fear pouring out of her naturally had her well within my control. "I hold your life in my hands right now. I could kill you." **_SHOCK, RAGE, HESITANCE, FEAR._** The whole coven starred transfixed at us. "Do you feel that? The absolute terror within you?" She tensed and I held her a little tighter. "Don't answer that, we both know the answer." I lifted her to her feet. It wasn't my wish to demean her in any way. She was a prideful woman and I understood all to well how damaging it is to have your core personality trait disrespected. "It's invigorating isn't it, the fear?" **_CONFUSION_**. All of them were a little lost as to where I was going with this, even Rose.

"Fear reaffirms our lives. After all if life has no meaning like this... frozen like we are, why are you afraid?" Edward relaxed slightly at my words but kept his grasp on Emmett. "Don't answer that either, I don't care. Your reasons are yours, but that's the whole point, isn't it? Whatever your reasons, they are yours. To laugh, to cry, to love, to hate, to create... to destroy. It doesn't matter what they are... because the reasons are still there. Who are you to decide what is reason enough?" Rosalie noticeably deflated at my words and I knew I was getting to her slightly.

I released her, pushing her forward slightly. Emmett was immediately next to her and she was cradled in his arms. They both looked at me and I gestured to their embrace. His arms were around her waist and hers were around his neck. "Is that not a reason?" Rosalie looked to Emmett then me then buried her face into his chest and he grasped her tighter. "Do you truly view your mother as less than that, just because she didn't birth you?" **_COMFORT_** My words were soft now as I glanced to Esme just as Rosalie looked to her briefly as well. "I have felt every type of bond in this world, and I can assure you, she couldn't love you more if she had." Rosalie left her mates arms and crushed herself to Esme as she sobbed. Esme held her tightly and whispered how much she loved her. She whispered soothing words to her while rubbing her hair. How Rose hadn't seen how truly lucky she was, baffled me. She had more than so many did, vampires and humans alike. All of that was thanks to a kind man that turned her and took her into his heart without question.

"You have a mate, a father, a mother, a brother, and a sister. Every one of them love you unconditionally and would never turn their backs on you. I can assure you now, Rose..." She looked back to me, as the rest of the coven continued to watch me. I kept my eyes on her. **_ACCEPTANCE._** "...That is reason enough."

With that, I turned and ran outside, as fast as I could.

 **END NOTES:**

Okay so there was my insight into Jasper. He's amazing isn't he? Powerful, but with so much good buried inside. I really enjoyed this chapter. I was wrong about the name though. This chapter was supposed to have more to it but this scene ran longer so I changed the name to fit it better.

Chapter (SONG) Title: "HATE me" by Blue October- A tragic song about feeling unworthy and wanting the person closest to you to hate you so that you stop hurting them with being a lost cause. Fitting in this instance because Jasper feels guilt and loathing for the life he's lived, even if he doesn't fully realize it.

 **REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** I want more of all 3. It gives me writing fuel. :-)


	5. NUMB

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

Chapter #5 is here. We'll get a real sense of the strain Jasper goes through constantly feeling as much as he does. This chapter will have a lot of exposition and character build up.

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

 **Chapter#5: NUMB**

JPOV

 _ **EXHAUSTED.**_ Every fiber of my being felt it right now. I'd been alone for so long that being around so many with varying emotions had really taken it's toll on me. I really did wish I could turn my ability off but I'd wasted the better part of a decade trying to do that, and it was an exercise in futility. I was either meant to be this way for a reason or I was a karmic experiment. A vampire that feels their victims pain... how darkly hilarious.

It wasn't all bad though, being an empath. I had a peculiar perk to my ability that I'd never really told anyone, not even Maria and Peter knew. I could actually feed from emotions around me for energy. From what I had observed from humans I gathered it would work similar to what caffeine did for them. I could feed from the emotions, in place of sleeping, though not forever.

Vampires didn't need to sleep much, it depended on how much we strained ourselves. Blood sustained us almost entirely but eventually even our marble muscles weakened and needed rest. Normally sleep wasn't a problem for vampires... provided of course we had a coven. When we sleep, we were at our most vulnerable. The reality was actually similar to an image from an old vampire movie where the vampire is unresponsive inside its coffin. There was no coffin in the real version of course, but the unresponsive bit was true enough. Also the more we put off sleep, the longer we would be in this weakened state.

Most vampires needed to sleep about 2-4 times a month for at least a few hours each time. Newborns hardly sleep at all, only able to if their creator did, but they didn't have to. When I was in the army I would have to stay awake for months at a time to monitor them, not to mention stay alert for any threats against me. Maria believed I slept when she did but that was not the least bit true. I would lay with her but never slept with her, because I could never relax my body enough to fall asleep. At the time I justified it as me wanting to guard her... but I think deep down I knew I just didn't trust her enough to be so vulnerable.

This was the plus side of covens over the rogue lifestyle. Since most covens contained mates there was a built in safety net. The bond between a vampire and their mate gave them a super sixth sense. Even in the death like state of our sleep, our first instinct was our mate. If there was anything nearby that could even slightly be interpreted as a threat, we would wake instantly. This meant a mated pair could sleep together without worry since the others instinct to defend would keep both safe.

I used my ability to avoid sleep as much as possible. I despised sleeping almost as much as I despised feelings of lust and love. I wasn't a particularly prideful man but admittedly, I hate feeling so vulnerable. I had no coven to defend me and therefore my choices were limited. Typically I would find as abandoned of a piece of forest as possible, dig a deep hole and sleep underground. It worked fairly well but was terribly uncomfortable.

The problem was there was a clan of vampires here that I didn't fully trust. Even if I did trust them, my body might not, and would therefore not allow me to rest. At this point I hadn't slept in over four months and my body was wearing thin. I wouldn't be able to push it off much longer.

I was walking along the road I'd approached earlier before I made my little detour to the coven of vegetarians. I shook my head thinking of their term. Emmett had found it hilarious when I'd rose my eyebrow at the word. I smelt the ocean and considered the possibilities. Once before I'd chosen to sleep underwater since it hid my scent better than anything else, but it was a difficult process. I had to weigh my body down and keep myself away from any large animals. They couldn't harm me of course, but they were distracting enough with the biting that I would wake up constantly.

I made a detour, not that I'd had a destination in mind, and started towards the ocean. The tides were soft and lulling, doing absolutely nothing to stave off my exhaustion.

"Don't do it." _**WORRY.**_ I turned around and saw Alice behind me. Where had she come from? I was NEVER snuck up on. Apparently my exhaustion had gotten a lot worse after all the strain I'd exhibited with her family.

"Don't do what?" I was shocked that I wasn't concerned by her presence. I should be worried. I needed rest and I couldn't have the others know where I was for that.

"Don't cross the boundary." Her eyes were wide and she stepped forward, grabbing my hand and tugging on it. I glanced down at our hands, then up at her face, then down again. I couldn't honestly remember the last time I'd been touched or touched someone and she had touched me numerous times in just the hours we'd known one-another. Most found me terrifying, even if they didn't admit it out loud, but not Alice. SHe looked at me with such kindness and ease that it left me completely out of sorts with her. She continued to tug gently on my hand while I watched curously. The force was that of a child trying to get an adult to come see something. I smiled at her as a plan formed. She looked confused for a moment before her eyes glazed over.

Oh no. I wouldn't let her ruin my fun with her visions, no matter how small of a plan it was. I tugged her forward and she fell easily into my arms. She came out of her vision and her eyes widened at our now intimate embrace. I had my left arm around her back, pinning her arm while my right hand was holding her chin gently. One could call our position close to kissing except with how short she was I would have to pick her up for it. I shook off that line of thought and smiled playfully at her. "Are you telling me what to do sunshine?" _**ATTRACTION, SHYNESS, INTRIGUE.**_ If she was human she would undoubtedly be bright red right now.

"No." Her words were whispered and she tried to look down, but I wouldn't let her.

"No?" I smiled while letting her go. She backed up dazed but kept her eyes on me. "That's a pity..." She smiled coyly and looked away for a brief moment before looking back. I couldn't believe I was flirting with her but I couldn't help it.

"You can't cross onto Quileute lands." She gestured to some invisible line a little ways away and then to the land by the ocean. I followed her gesture then looked back at her with a smirk.

"Why not?" I kept my voice gentle and a smile on my face. I gave her my complete focus, channeling my natural charisma to her through eye contact. She was getting edgy now. _**NERVOUS, ATTRACTION.**_ I made her nervous, I rather liked that. That plus the attraction, which went without saying was amazing, left me feeling quite powerful with her.

"My family made a treaty with them, years ago. The treaty states that we wont cross onto their lands. They knew what we were and didn't want us around." She spoke fast. I released my invisible hold on her and she relaxed. I chuckled at her words.

"How many years ago?"

"I think about eighty." She looked at me with wide eyes and I shrugged uncaring.

"I take it there's a lot more to this story. I somehow doubt that humans discovered your families identity and a treaty was made as a result of it." I looked at her in challenge. Daring her to lie.

"I didn't say they were human." She smirked back playfully and I rolled my eyes back, but couldn't hide my own smile. _**CAREFREE.**_ I felt light and at ease with her. I wasn't sure I'd ever felt that before. She was just...easy to be around.

"Are you going to elaborate?"

"Maybe." She was swaying slightly and I narrowed my eyes. I took a step backwards, towards whatever line there was. Her eyes widened slightly so I took another step. She stepped forward a step to match so I took two back. Again she took one step forward. We continued like this and I was sure we looked ridiculous but I didn't care. She was so much fun to do something so simple with. Eventually we must have made it to the line because she reached her hands forward in a halt movement. "Okay, I'll tell you."

...

Her story was interesting to say the least. She told me about the Quileute tribes spirit warriors that took the form of giant wolfs and hunted our kind. Giant Wolf Men... I'd never seen such a thing and was curious if these warriors were still around. After she finished up the details of the treaty which stated none of them would cross the line I looked back towards the ocean. Maybe it was the rebel in me, but now I REALLY wanted to go. I looked back to her and she held her hand out while gesturing with her head for us to go back the way we'd come. I held my hand out, only slightly and she happily grabbed it but when she went to walk back I didn't budge. She looked at me confused. _**CONCERN.**_ I smiled at her worrying about me.

"This treaty was when you were a coven of three?" It was a rhetorical question as I knew the others were younger than the treaty. She nodded anyway and I tilted my head, an idea forming. I pulled her to me gently and she came willingly, keeping eye contact with me the whole time. Our embrace was similar to before except now my left hand held her right, and my right hand rested on her hip gently. She seemed at a loss for what to think or feel in the moment. I was right there with her. "Come." I pulled her towards the line, stepping backwards so I could keep my eyes on her. She seemed almost in a trance as she took a couple steps before shaking her head and stopping. As she stopped moving I smiled at her. She wanted to come with me, why I didn't know, but she did. That simple fact made me smile.

"We can't. The treaty..." _**NERVOUS**_.

"Where's my fearless little pixy?" _**JOY, EASE**_. I kept it subtle but firm. Part of my mind was asking me what I was doing. This was the perfect opportunity to go somewhere without the other vampires so I could sleep peacefully. Yet here I was, practically dragging one of them with me.

"I'm right here." She didn't even miss a beat in her response. No comment about being called a pixy, no comment about me casually calling her mine, just a simple response with so much meaning behind it.

"The treaty was before your time Darlin, and I'm not even a part of your coven." She seemed to flinch slightly at that though I couldn't imagine why. _**LONGING, SADNESS.**_ Why should those words make her sad? What was she longing for? I decided not to dwell on it. I wanted to be in the moment, right here with her. "Come with me." I stepped towards her slightly so we were in each-others space. I could feel her clothing touching mine, it was a sensory overload to someone like me who was always alone and NEVER touched another. She was about to shake her head in refusal, I could tell. I reached my right hand and held her cheek gently. "I want to see the ocean with you." She smiled in spite of herself and looked down. She was almost mine, I could feel her giving in. I lowered my voice and leaned into her ear. "Come with me."

"Okay." She sounded resigned but quickly recovered into her bright and confident self. "...BUT we have to be fast." I smiled but didn't respond. I had no intention of rushing my time with her but she didn't need to know that. I stepped aside so that we were side by side.

"Shall we then?" She took a hesitant step forward but that was it. I rolled my eyes and stepped back in front of her, taking her other hand. I backed up now, firmly taking her with me. Eventually we crossed the line and surprisingly enough she relaxed. As I watched her eyes, they glazed over and I wished I knew what she was seeing. She came out of it and smiled widely at me. She released one of my hands and our positions changed. She began dragging me to the ocean. Within a few seconds we were both running at vampire speed. I smiled thinking of the influence I had on this girl as well as what she had on me. I was most likely getting her into trouble with her coven wheras everything about her was going to be trouble for me.

...

We stopped at a grouping of rocks and she sat on one without hesitation, taking me with her. She had her legs stretched out and her arms were behind her, holding her up while she watched the skyline. It was difficult to take my eyes off her but when I did, I noticed the sun was getting ready to rise. I hadn't watched a sunrise since I was human, but I gathered this was what Alice had seen in her vision, us watching this. At my max speed I got up and sat behind her, close enough to be touching her back with my chest. She accepted my closeness easily. Her arms went to her front as my chest held her up completely now. She looked back at me with a big easy smile. Ah, so THIS was what she saw, me behind her while we watched. I shook my head just as she looked back at the sky. I reached my arms around her middle and held her loosely. Without hesitation she grasped my hands with her own and intertwined our fingers. I glanced at her casual touch and couldn't shake the **_AWE, AMAZEMENT, FEAR, JOY,_** and everything else I felt.

As we sat the sun rose and her skin started to sparkle in the orange light. My skin did too but as always my scars stood out more than anything else, appearing as large white lines among the multicolored lights, inhibiting the attractive glow my kind usually displayed in the sun. She looked back at me, over her shoulder and smiled as easily as she always did. Why didn't she at least hesitate at my appearance? I wouldn't hold it against her if she did. This girl was so different from anything I'd ever experienced before. I knew I should step away, but I wasn't sure I could.

We fell into easy conversation as we just sat there. I kept the focus on her as much as possible and for the most part she let me, only asking me easy questions. Apparently her family had moved back to this town a couple months ago and her and Edward would be starting high school as sophmores, while Emmett and Rosalie (apparently that was her full name) would be starting as juniors for their cover. Just when I thought this coven couldn't get any stranger, I found out they disguised themselves as high school students. I laughed when she told me that and she hit my arm playfully in response. I looked at where she had smacked me. She was still in my arms, facing ahead so she didn't notice my focus. She'd hit me and I didn't stop her. I knew it was a playful hit yet it was something I'd never allowed, even with Maria. I'd always had eyes in the back of my head and had avoided any violence against me, even the playful kind. It wasn't something I'd ever been comfortable with but with her I hadn't even flinched.

"Did you want to..." Her question trailed off and I looked back at her from my sky gazing, in question.

"Want to what?" _**NERVOUS.**_ I had no idea what she wanted to ask but I was intrigued as to why it had her nervous. She didn't speak so I picked her up and spun her around to look at me. In hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea to put her on my lap in a straddling position, but it was done now. Her position was beyond distracting. Add in her deep breaths from surprise and my mind was trying to go somewhere I was certainly not going to allow. **_RELAXATION_**. It worked but now I was even more tired than before Alice got here. "Tell me." Yes please tell me if for no other reason than to distract me.

"Did you want to stay awhile, with my family?... With me?" She sounded so hopeful and her emotions were even more so. I wasn't sure what my expression showed but she rushed to add onto her question. "We could answer all your questions about us. We could show you the town. My dad's a doctor, did you know that? It's really cool that he can do that, at least I think so. My mom does volunteer work as well as interior design. Maybe I could show you my school... if you want to see it that is. It's my first time trying the school thing and I'm SO EXCITED." She was rambling in her nervousness and it was to amusing to stop. Her words came out so fast that I knew she wasn't breathing in order to get it all out. I just watched her eyes as she spoke. She grew more nervous under my scrutiny but I didn't really know how to help that. I would have projected more relaxation at her but was afraid I would pass out if I did. My body was reaching it's limit. I either needed rest, or I needed blood. Nothing else would work at this point.

 _ **RESIGNED.**_ She spoke for a few minutes, explaining about what she expected school to be like, how she was excited to meet her first humans and make friends with them. The fact that she wasn't approaching the subject of me staying awhile, did not escape me. "Darlin..." I cupped her chin gently and she immediately stopped speaking, just looked at me with her beautiful big eyes. The color still caught me off guard but there was no denying they were beautiful. "I would be happy to stay for a little while. Provided of course your family still wants me around." She smiled at my words.

"What?"

"You called them my family. You kept calling us a coven. I think that was the first time you called us a family." I chuckled at how easy it was to make her happy. After a few moments she put her arms around my neck. I was surprised how comfortable with me she was. "You'll really stay." _**HOPE.**_ I couldn't crush that, not from her. I didn't know for how long, but I would stay.

"Yes, I'll stay, at least for now." I knew that last part had the potential to upset her so as soon as the words were out I picked her up at vampire speed and ran her to the ocean bluff, dropping her in. Her head broke the surface and the look of shock and indignation caused me to bowl over in laughter. Quick as a flash she was behind me and on my back, arms around my neck and mouth at my ear. Again I was surprised at how relaxed my body was in this position. Technically this was a dangerous position for me. She could bite me, seriously harm me, even kill me in this position yet my body was at total ease, like it always was with her.

"GOT YOU!" She spoke through her laughter and I shook my head realizing how right she was. Without hesitation I jumped into the water with her grasping me firmly. We parted as I broke the surface and proceeded to play our own version of tag with no real rules or goal. After awhile Alice was somehow in my arms with her legs around my waist. I honestly didn't know how she got that way but here she was. She was looking at me quizzically. "You look so tired." Wow it had to be bad if she could see it. Vampires didn't really look tired even when they were exhausted, it was a defense mechanism. Our bodies wouldn't let a threat see our weakened state.

"I haven't slept in some time." I casually released her and we swam back to the shore, at a human pace.

"So sleep... probably not here though. The humans would probably find that a bit creepy." her words sounded like a joke but her brow was furrowed and her mouth puckered in a way that made me sure she was serious. I chuckled at her.

"It's not so easy darlin."

 _ **CONFUSED.**_ "What's hard about sleeping?"

"The act itself... nothing, but I don't have a coven." She looked just as confused so I took that to mean she had no idea about the safety issues involved with sleeping. I explained it all to her and her eyes widened. She was genuinely surprised there were vampires that would kill another while they slept.

"Well... I'll guard you." She smiled and I just starred at her. What on earth do I say to that? I knew she meant it in her friendly kind way but there was a lot of meaning behind such a thing. Vampires only guarded coven members during sleep... or mates, not rogues they just met. And rogues certainly didn't trust covens they'd met only a few hours earlier. I felt no distrust with her though and I did believe she would guard me from threats. The problem was I didn't exactly trust her coven. How to approach this topic lightly?

"You don't exactly seem like the guardian type." _**HUMOR**_ I projected very light humor at her since I didn't want to take the chance of offending her. She laughed and there was that wind-chime sound I was growing more and more fond of.

"I could have Emmett do it." Well played, pixy. I shuddered and she burst into loud laughter. She actually held her stomach and laughed hard. I rolled my eyes but pretended to ignore her. _**ANNOYANCE.**_ I wasn't actually annoyed but it would be fun to see her take me seriously. "Hey I was kidding." She smiled weakly and rubbed my arm hesitantly. I looked at her abashed expression and laughed. It worked, she thought I was serious. "JERK!" She jumped on my back again and I ran into the forest towards the Cullen (their surname, apparently) home. I stopped as far from their home as possible and she got off my back. There seemed to be a silent understanding between us at the moment. She knew I didn't want anyone here while I slept. She also knew it wasn't that I didn't trust her, it was that I was simply in a position I wasn't used to.

Without a word she hugged me, waved and took off for her home. I stared after her for a few moments before digging a hole, a deep one. I got in and covered myself. As I tried to clear my mind I of course thought about the real reason I hadn't slept for four months. When I slept the nightmares came. The images of over a century worth of regret and death, and then there was Maria, always at the forefront of my insomnia. There was something so intimate about someone consuming your thoughts while you slept. On your mind while awake was one thing but asleep was a whole different level of violation and consumption. I didn't want her to have that part of me. She had taken enough from me and I wanted my subconscious to be free of her. I kept my eyes closed and could feel myself begin to drift off. Just as I did I felt warmth spread through me. A different image came to my mind. A small little vampire with a bright smile, innocent mind, and kind heart. Then everything went black.

APOV

I ran full speed into the house and up to my room before anyone could notice my state. My clothes were soaked and I hoped mom wouldn't be upset. I doubt I dripped much but there would be a bit of water on the carpet. Normally I would be horrified about my clothes like this but Jasper had been so light and happy how could I be anything less than thrilled?

The bigger concern was whether or not they knew which beach we'd been at. I searched the future but nothing was solid. I got a vague flash of Edward figuring it out, he was good like that, but he would never tell on me. I was his soft spot after all, well me and mom. My brother was pretty reserved with everyone but we'd always been close. Being the only gifted ones of the family, caused us to look out for one another. I never let the family push him about finding a mate or being his brooding self. I was an expert at punishing Emmett if he picked on him to much, and Edward was always just there for me when I needed him. When I first woke up and had this ability he helped me so much, using his power to help me sort through all the images. It was horrible at first but he was there every step of the way and we'd been inseparable ever since. We had to be, since the other four were always with their mates.

Now I sounded like Jasper. I'd never referred to them by such vampiric terms before. I'd always referred to them as husband/wife, or boyfriend/girlfriend. Whichever cover we were currently working with. My thoughts shifted to Jasper and about him sleeping alone in the forest, and I hated it. I wish he'd have let me stay. I didn't like the idea that someone could hurt him. I guess I could take comfort that since he was on our land any other vampire that caught his scent would probably catch ours too and not want to cross the path of a coven of 7.

I jumped in the shower to remove all traces of the ocean from me. I finished my shower in a daze thinking of Jasper and the 6 of us. Seven of us? Would Jasper stay with us? For how long? I couldn't help but feel he belonged. I almost giggled at how silly that must seem on the outside. He didn't exactly hit it off with Rosalie but then again, who did? Nothing they said was much different then the spats her and Edward had constantly. In fact many of those were worse, resulting in Edward having to dodge her countless blows as he refused to hit a girl. I knew he could take her easily, since he was the best fighter of all of us but he never would. It wasn't his way. I'd always thought that someone standing up to her was what she needed and in less than two hours Jasper did just that.

"Still thinking about him?" Edward appeared at my door and smiled kindly at me. I smiled back and waved him in. He sat on my bed, currently an electric yellow blanket was on top of the pale pink comforter. He held up the bright yellow blanket and rose an eyebrow at me.

"What? It's my favorite color." he shook his head and laughed.

"I'm well aware of that Alice. It matches you perfectly"

"What's up?" For the first time I noticed we were alone in the house. Where was my mind?

"Wondering where you've been." He was staring at me intently, his eyes went to my wet hair and clothes. "You have dozens of bathing suits and yet YOU swam in your clothes." He knew that wasn't something I would do. I may have a little bit of an obsession with clothing and didn't like them damaged.

"A little bit of an obsession?" I threw a pillow at him and he caught it. I never got annoyed by his ability like Rose and Emmett did. It was part of him and he was my big brother. I loved him just the way he was. "I love you too Alice." I beamed at him and gave him a wet hug before disappearing into my closet to change. I held up a yellow sundress. For some reason I was extra drawn to the color today. "It is the color of Jasper's hair." He spoke almost sing song like which sounded strange coming from his velvety voice.

"That's not why, Emo-ward." I could picture him rolling his eyes at Emmett's coined phrase for him.

"Hmmm, then why?" I came out of the closet as I thought about watching the sunrise with Jasper. I glanced up and Edwards eyes narrowed.

"That looked a lot like first beach, Alice." I didn't say anything and tried to blank my mind. "Mary Alice Cullen." I hated when he had that tone, it felt like having a second dad.

"Jasper wanted to see the ocean." My argument was weak and we both knew it.

"So let him. He's not bound to the treaty, you are."

"He said he wanted to see it with me." My words were whispered and Edward's face was blank.

"Where is Jasper?" Was he changing the subject or doing that thing he was good at where he put two and two together.

"Sleeping." His face seemed surprised. I starred back confused. "What?"

"He told you that?" I shrugged and nodded. I didn't see the big deal. We all slept. "Where?"

"He said he doesn't like anyone to know where he sleeps."

"But you know." His eyes were penetrating. I hated when he did that. He was figuring out some invisible puzzle with that prodigal mind of his. He rolled his eyes at my thoughts.

"Well... yeah... I guess."

"That's very odd." I didn't need to speak the words, he heard my mind ask 'why?' "Vampires do NOT reveal where they sleep to others." I went to protest but he cut me off. "That's different Alice. We're all family. We would never harm one another and we would of course protect each-other in the event we needed to. It's strange that Jasper would let you know he was sleeping at all, let alone where he was sleeping."

"So what does that mean?" He watched me as I came out of my bathroom in my dress, matching yellow ballet flats, and a yellow ribbon in my hair. He smiled and got off the bed slowly. He came over and kissed the top of my head, before backing up and smirking softly at me.

"It means I think he will be sticking around awhile." He nodded gently and left the room. I heard him start to play the piano downstairs soon after, still stuck in my haze. I was confused but shrugged it off. Jasper already told me he would stay awhile. I smiled at the thought of having him around. I hoped he didn't sleep long, I missed him.

 **END NOTES:**

More insight into Jasper. I needed to do a small blip from a different POV since Jasper is a little busy. ;-) Anyone concerned, there is absolutely NO ROMANTIC feelings between Edward and Alice. They are siblings and best friends, nothing else.

Who else is right there with Alice and misses Jasper already?

Chapter (SONG) Title: "NUMB" by Linkin Park- Probably one of the best written songs of all time. It's about having become someone you don't recognize to please someone else to the point that they cant feel anymore. It's perfect to demonstrate the point that Jasper knew he needed to leave Maria to be what little of himself he could. He's beginning to feel a little bit more now. :-)

 **REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** I know this chapter came out fast. I can't guarantee every update will be just a day or two later. I write and post as the inspiration strikes.


	6. BITTERSWEET Symphony

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

Longest chapter so far. Last chapter was a bit girly. Time for some action. ;-)

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 **Chapter#6: BITTERSWEET Symphony**

JPOV

I woke up but of course had no concept of the time since I was under ground. I dug my way out quickly only to realize the sun was gone. I had to have slept for at least 12 hours. That was probably the longest I'd ever slept, even after fighting the newborns I hadn't been that exhausted. I pushed down the memories beginning to claw at me and looked down at myself. I was beyond a mess. Not only had I slept with clothing on, as I typically took them off and hid them to keep them from getting to dirty, but I'd also been wet so my clothes were fairly wrecked now. I thought back to Alice and me on the beach and couldn't stop the smile on my face. She had made an appearance in my thoughts as I slept and mercifully was able to keep the nightmares at bay with her light. The dream of her was so simple but wonderful. She was dancing on the same beach we'd visited and I was a distance away just watching her twirl in the sunlight. She was smiling brightly and laughing towards me. There was no dialog, no sound at all in the dream, it was just quiet and full of peace.

I looked in the direction of the Cullen home then off in the direction of Texas, the only other place I could think of going. Alice had asked me to stay and I said I would. For how long? Would her family want me here? I can't imagine I was their favorite person right now, between the Rosalie confrontation and my hand in Alice's little rebellion. I smirked remembering her pitiful attempt to resist joining me on the beach. I took a long hard look at the road, a part of me screaming to leave. To escape the unknown, the confusing, and... the beauty I've found here. I closed my eyes turned my body around and ran full speed for the house. I was a man of my word and I wouldn't leave after promising Alice I would stay. I didn't know what I would do about my clothing but I'd cross that bridge when I crossed it.

After a few moments I felt emotion. _**THRILL, PEACE, CURIOSITY, HESITANCE.**_ Thrill was forefront but the others were there. Suddenly I heard another vampire moving fast, but downwind so I couldn't catch the smell. One of the Cullen's, maybe? I stopped and turned in time to see Edward. He had stopped about 20 feet from me and was holding clothing. He held it out to me and I raised my eyebrow in question. "Alice?" I couldn't resist the small smile at saying her name. God, what was wrong with me?

"Alice." He smiled and shook his head as I stepped forward grabbing the clothes. "She saw you coming in covered in mud and Esme getting... twitchy."

"Twitchy?" I looked at him curiously.

"My mother loves to decorate and keeps the house and the grounds immaculate. However she is also the politest person I know so she wouldn't want to be rude to you if you made a mess. That on top of the fact that she likes you and she would be a little lost on how to act... twitchy seems a good word for it." He chuckled at that.

I stepped behind a tree and changed into the clothes quickly. If I was to guess I would say they were Edward's. He seemed closest to my size as Emmett was gigantic and Carlisle was a bit shorter. "What's it like? Seeing her visions?" I couldn't help but ask as I came out from behind the trees. He shrugged.

"Honestly it's a headache most of the time it happens. She sees so many things all at once and it's impossible to sort through it all." He frowned slightly looking back towards the house. _**DOUBT, WORRY.**_

"What are you worried about and doubting?" He looked momentarily shocked by my question.

"Huh, that is frustrating. No wonder Emmett is always complaining about my telepathy." I chuckled at that. "I'm concerned about Alice for when we start school. She's never been around so many people, let alone humans. I'm worried that her gift in combination with her youth could cause a problem."

I stared at him in shock. "You think she will... attack a human?" I honestly couldn't see it. She was so pure and bright. I didn't even picture her as a vampire really, she was just so much more.

"God no." He looked at me like I was crazy. "My sweet Alice couldn't hurt a fly." I flinched slightly at his words and it didn't go unnoticed by him. He cocked his head at me but didn't comment. "My _**SISTER..."**_ I didn't miss him accenting their relationship to me. "...is just so sensitive to those around her. I'm afraid she'll get an onslaught of visions and that due to her young age she wont be able to handle it." He was looking back at the house again. "She's been looking forward to starting school every since she woke up and learned our ways. I just don't want her to feel disheartened." _**LOVE, COMPASSION.**_

"I think she'll surprise you." I was confident in my assessment. She was stronger than she looked. He smiled but was still looking towards the house. He tilted his head and frowned slightly. "What?"

"My family is back." His eyes shot to me accusingly. "Apparently they can smell the ocean around the house and are wondering about it."

"So you know about that?" I was a little surprised that he could read them before I could though I suppose familiarity with them gave him more distance to recognize their minds.

"Yes."

"Will you tell on her?" I couldn't resist my slight teasing tone as I smirked.

"No, but you are entirely different." I shrugged. I could live with that. "Carlisle is keeping his mind blank." He sounded like he was talking to himself now. _**WORRY.**_ I took that to mean Carlisle being secretive was a bad thing. We stopped talking and ran towards the house, him pulling ahead. He really was fast. We stopped in front of the house just as the others were about to go in.

"Jasper?" Carlisle seemed really surprised I was still around though his emotions told a different story. _**FEAR, CONCERN.**_ I nodded in greeting choosing to ignore the emotions for the time being. I noticed Edward watching Carlisle and the leader just shook his head at Edward. He must have refused Edward's obvious question of 'what's going on?' as Edward frowned but nodded. Carlisle turned to his whole family though I noticed Alice was M.I.A. I casually looked towards the house and heard her humming inside. I fought the urge to smile and succeeded but only barely.

"We need to talk inside." _**WORRY.**_ He spoke to everyone but looked at no one. As soon as we stepped inside I froze. Alice was standing at the foot of the stairs and was wearing a flowing yellow dress. She smiled at me and it felt exactly like my dream. I heard nothing for that short moment, I simply saw her. She waved eagerly and I gave her a slight head bow while smiling back. _**ATTRACTION, SHYNESS.**_ I smirked at her while winking and she averted her gaze while following her family, who were heading in the direction of a dining room. Why vampires would have a dining room was beyond me but I should just learn to expect the unexpected with this coven.

Everyone sat down at the table. Carlisle at the head with Edward on his right and Esme on his left. Rosalie and Emmett sat on the opposite end, hand in hand. Alice sat next to Edward and gestured for me to join her. I smiled politely but shook my head. I had no idea what was going on but the idea of being in a seated position with them felt odd. This whole setting felt intimately coven like. Why was I here?

"I received a call from the Elders." The whole family froze at that. Normally it was nothing for a group of vampires to not move, even to breathe, but from this group, I took notice. So many emotions raged and they were all so distinct it was easy to place who felt what.

Carlisle- _**HESITANCE**_

Edward- _ **ANNOYANCE**_

Esme- _**WORRY**_

Rosalie- _**ANGER**_

Emmett- _**EXCITMENT**_

Alice- _**CURIOSITY**_

I saw Alice close her eyes and I knew she was trying to read the future. The whole family glanced at her but seemed to let her do what she needed. Edward reached over and grabbed her hand but she kept her eyes closed. I found my eyes lingering on their contact but tried to ignore it. I looked away but couldn't stop looking back. As soon as I averted my eyes the desire to look back was there, trying to make me do something. I wasn't sure what I felt the need to do and that made me feel uncomfortable.

"AND?!" I was actually grateful for Rosalie's rudeness at the moment. I had no idea what was going on. _**CALM, FOCUS.**_

"They wanted information." His eyes darted to me for the briefest moment but I caught it. I glanced around and apparently everyone else had seen the glance too, as their eyes were flashing between him and me. "They heard about the missing college student and apparently tracked a vampire on their lands." I couldn't help smiling at the information.

"The spirit warriors are back?" Esme sounded concerned. She looked at me and I saw clear worry directed towards me. She was worried for me.

"Yes. The chief called me and wants me to meet with the new Alpha."

"You will be going nowhere alone." _**DETERMINED.**_ Edward spoke with complete finality. I was surprised by his tone. I didn't know whether or not to be impressed by his leadership or annoyed by his presumptuousness.

"I agree. We all go together." Esme was quiet by firm. _**FEAR, LOVE.**_

"They know the size of our coven now. They wont be comfortable with the numbers." Carlisle was quiet but I could see his mind racing.

"Big deal! They called the meeting, their problem, not ours." Rose actually made a good point. Two times in less than two minutes that I found myself agreeing with her. Who would have thought?

"You can guarantee that if our roles were reversed and their numbers were more than ours, that wouldn't stop them bringing every mutt with them." Emmett spoke this time and his words intrigued me.

"How many do they have?" Everyone looked to me in shock, almost as though they'd forgotten I was there. I saw Rosalie's eyes narrow. Fantastic she was remembering that this was my fault, however unintentionally.

"3... wolves." _**HESITANCE.**_ He seemed to feel that emotion a lot about this whole situation. I wondered what was garnering such a feeling. There was more to these wolves I gathered.

I shrugged and expected them to interject to my seemingly complacent attitude but instead they looked confused. It occurred to me that they didn't expect me to know about the tribes abilities. They also were probably confused by my interest, assuming I'd leave before there was an issue. Maybe they didn't know I was staying at all. I glanced at Alice and she was glancing around the table nervously. Ah so she hadn't told them she's been with me nor that she'd asked me to stay. I relaxed my posture and decided to get the information I would need from the family.

"Why are you so hesitant about the wolves?" Fear, anger, resigned, and countless other emotions would make sense right now but that one left me reeling.

Carlisle let out a breath and rubbed his face. Again the human mannerisms were strange to me. "The wolves can be... unpredictable." I made no motion to respond. I knew he could do better than that at explaining himself. "How have you heard about spirit warriors?" I glanced at Alice and she gave a small smile back.

"Alice?" _**CONFUSION**_. Esme spoke but everyone except Edward were displaying the emotion. She nodded but didn't let her eyes land on anyone for long. I was beginning to get uncomfortable by how upset she seemed. "When did you tell him?"

"While all of you were hunting." Carlisle's eyes flashed to me. _**CONCERN, POSSESION, ANGER.**_ Great I've pissed off the leader by being alone with his baby girl. I heard Edward chuckle and narrowed my eyes at him. He shrugged at me but I let it go.

"I was running and Alice warned me about crossing the boundary." I kept my explanation vague and my expression blank so as to not get her in trouble.

"How did you know he was going to be crossing the line?" Leave it to Rose to cut through to the point.

"I was following him." Alice whispered but everyone heard. Despite the fact that I knew she'd followed me, hearing the words made me smile.

"What?! Alice, you shouldn't be alone with him." _**ANGER, POSSESION.**_ Everyone feeling they had a claim on her was beginning to piss me off. I absorbed all the tension in the room and reversed it before I did something I would regret. I then pushed out all the calm, magnifying it before I did. They all looked at me as they felt the tension nearly evaporate. Rosalie jumped up and glared at me. I met her gaze, silently daring her to say something. That didn't work out so well last time, for her or her mate.

"Why not?" I was surprised to hear and feel a little anger in Alice's words. I was beginning to suspect that the only emotions she knew were positive ones.

"Because he's a MURDEROUS monster with no remorse." Hmm, interesting.

"ROSE!" _**FRUSTRATION.**_ Surprisingly Esme yelled now. Well as close to yelling as such a soft spoken woman could. Rose went to say something but Esme wasn't done. "He is a guest in our home and you will be respectful. He has been nothing but honest and fair since meeting us and you have not extended the same courtesy." _**IRRITATION.**_ Rose didn't argue though I imagined if it had been anyone but her mother speaking she would have had a few things to say in response.

"COME ON. We were talking about confronting the wolves!" _**EXCITEMENT.**_ Apparently in the face of a fight Emmett was okay with his wife getting scolded.

"You're right Emmett." Carlisle eyed Alice then me before starring at Alice meaningfully. "We can discuss this later Alice." She nodded with a genuine pout on her face as she starred down at the table. I frowned seeing her expression. I shot a dark look at the leader briefly before watching her closely. I wanted to comfort her but I wasn't a fan of physical affection, though truthfully with her I didn't mind, and tolerated it even less in public. I decided to comfort her in my own way. _**HUMOR, JOY.**_ I tapped into the memories I had of feeling her light the first time and sent it to her in a concentrated dose. She looked up at me with a soft smile and I gave her a slight head bow before looking back at the leader, my face devoid of emotion before I said something I would regret to the leader. I didn't think I could tolerate one more person scolding her though.

"Much like how we are controlled by instinct the wolves are consumed by impulse. Their very existence came from a need to fight us. The sight, smell, or even thought of us immediately puts them on edge and urges them to attack." He shook his head while explaining and I cocked my brow.

"You feel sorry for them." It wasn't a question as I could feel his pity.

"We all have felt consumed by what we are instead of by who we are. I can understand the struggle they go through." I smiled through the urge to roll my eyes.

"It's not the same though. They judge us for our... impulses yet they seem just as violent. Can their temper channel into harming humans?" I didn't have to ask to know the answer. Any creature quick to anger was quick to inflict it on anyone.

"Yes." _**SADNESS.**_ Carlisle's compassion was both commendable and frustrating as hell.

I thought about everything. This council wanted the Cullen's to meet with the Alpha and undoubtedly the other two wolves. Most likely the meet would be somewhere close to both lands but on the Cullen's specifically as the Cullen's weren't allowed on Quileute lands. I rolled my eyes at the Cullen's agreeing to such an unfair term. Carlisle clearly planned to meet the Alpha and Edward clearly wasn't going to let him, at least not alone. The whole situation was ridiculous. What could they possibly have to say.

"Why do they want to meet face to face?" Carlisle looked at me then to the rest of his family.

"We haven't spoke to the clan since we came back. We let them know we were back but there has been nothing laid out face to face."

"Laid out?" Emmett seemed confused.

"They want to remind us about the terms of the treaty."

"You mean the treaty that they are only interpreting and that you were actually physically present for and have most likely memorized... that contract." I didn't hide my sarcasm. The arrogance of this wolf clan left a lot to be desired.

"Ha. I'm starting to like you a little more Jasper." I ignored Emmett and starred coldly at Carlisle.

"You allow this clan to push yours around. Why?"

"It's easier then starting a fight with them."

"A fight you could easily win." I honestly could understand him wanting to keep the peace but I was curious as to what point he draws the line.

"Maybe, maybe not. We do not harm anyone if we can avoid it. This treaty keeps the peace." I chose to drop the subject.

"I will meet with them." I got off from the wall as a tidal wave of emotions hit me. I was almost knocked over by Alice's alone

Alice- _ **TERROR, ANGER, HEARTBREAK, AFFECTION**_

Carlisle- _**CONFUSION**_

Edward- _ **DISBELIEF**_

Esme- _**FEAR**_

Rosalie- _**FRUSTRATION**_

Emmett- _**DISAPPOINTMENT**_

I looked at Alice and her eyes looked like they would cry if she was physically capable of it. She ran at vampire speed to me and buried her head in my chest shaking her head back and forth while wrapping her arms tightly around my back. I couldn't help the urge to comfort her. I used my right hand and stroked her hair gently. I chose to ignore the emotions and awkwardness of the moment by explaining myself to the coven as I comforted her. It was difficult to focus on anything with Alice's sadness washing over me, having her in my arms, and having to listen to her softly begging me with the softest murmurs of 'no'. "I'm the one they want, it doesn't have to concern any of you." I spoke simply. This was something I understood... war. I was born in, bleed for, died in and lived through... war. This I could handle. I looked down at the innocent pixy in my arms thinking that this, her arms around me and her emotions being all for me, was what I didn't know and couldn't handle, though I yearned to.

"Jasper, they will kill you before you speak a word." Carlisle was calm but to his credit I could feel concern towards me. Even with his daughter in my arms he didn't want me to die, how many fathers could say that?

"That will be their choice... to try of course. I will go to talk. What happens from there will be on them." I believed in personal accountability not in being a victim and I was no victim.

"We will not put ourselves at risk to defend your ego." Rosalie's words bit through the room, seeming so out of place, as she generally was, and my eyes flashed to hers. Gently I pried Alice away from me and without thinking about it pulled her behind me gently.

"I never asked you to." My words were calm but I laced as much malice as I could into the room as I spoke. I saw her shrink back slightly. "I have been alone for decades, fighting for my own survival for over a century, what makes you think you are of any use to me." I felt Alice flinch and realized she may have taken my words, intended for Rose alone, as directed towards her whole family... towards her. I turned to her, realizing the whole time that I was turning my back on an enemy in order to comfort Alice but being unable to stop myself doing it. I stroked her cheek until she looked up at me. I offered her a small smile but she didn't return it. Her eyes were pleading with me silently but I would not give in. I sighed and turned back around to her family.

"If you go, I'll go." Alice whispered and I spun on her. _**PISSED OFF.**_ I couldn't control my feelings at the moment. When this happened people could feel what I felt but it didn't overwhelm their own feelings. That was a good thing in this moment because if they all felt even half as enraged as I did the whole town would burn.

"Over my dead body." My words were cruel and cutting. I knew it affected her because she flinched but stood her ground. Her head was lowered but her eyes remained on me.

"You can't stop me." _**DETERMINED, ANGUISH, AFFECTION.**_

I leaned down to her so that I was only about an inch from her face. This was the closest I'd ever been to her and despite how angry I was I couldn't not notice how beautiful she was right now. Something about that fact pissed me off further. "Yes I can." _**FEAR.**_ I projected it at her and it worked. She cowered from me and a piece of me broke seeing that but I wouldn't be swayed.

"You can't go Jasper." _**SADNESS, PRIDE, AFFECTION, CALM.**_ Esme spoke calmly but with authority. "Nothing good will come from it. I can appreciate you trying to keep the wolves off of us, but the wolves would just assume you were with us and try to fight us anyway." Edward nodded watching me closely.

"We should all go. Jasper can stay back and we will introduce him as gently as we can before he comes forward. It shows we aren't hiding anything but it also presents a united front. It says 'our family will fight if attacked' but we take the high ground until the moment comes." Edward sounded confident that this could work but his emotions were doubtful. I hadn't even met these wolves and I knew that this would end in a fight.

I agreed with the plan, though I put up a fight with Alice going, arguing that she was to young to deal with such a thing. Esme agreed with me but was the only one who did in the end. The whole point was to present the whole family... plus me. Alice didn't seem pleased with my desire to protect her but I couldn't be bothered to care. It was reckless to bring her.

Carlisle called the tribe and explained that we would all meet wherever they chose but that he would be bringing his whole family. The tribe was less then pleased but had no choice but to agree. The meet was set up for the boundary between the two lines, with the actually location being Cullen land. We ran ahead of the scheduled time at my pressing. I needed to get a feel for wind direction, vantage points and if possible any early sightings of the wolves doing the same thing on their end.

"I'm sorry." Alice was standing with me as I looked all around the clearing that would serve as our meet. I was standing far from it as I didn't want the wolves to catch my scent yet. I looked down at Alice, surprised by her apology.

"Why are you sorry, darlin?" She inched slightly closer to me and without conscientiously choosing to I put my left hand on her hip and my right hand under her chin, making her look at me.

"I didn't mean to get you angry."

"Then why did you say what you did?" I wished I could tell her it was okay, but it wasn't. The idea of her with me, two against 3 was... something I didn't even have an emotion to describe. It simply wasn't possible. I wouldn't allow it.

"I kept seeing you facing them... all alone... and I didn't want you to be alone. You're not alone... I'm right here." She spoke softly and had her gaze averted to the ground. I glanced around and noticed none of her family paying us any attention. I wrapped my arms around her legs and lifted her up, bringing her to my eye level.

"I'm used to being alone, sunshine." She just shook her head and starred at me with those big beautiful kind eyes and I couldn't look away. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly, cuddling into my neck as she did. For a moment I was shocked. I couldn't recall anyone ever being this affectionate with me... even when I was human. Part of me wanted to recoil and reject it but another part of me suddenly craved it. Hesitantly I brought my arms up to her back and held her tightly.

 _ **ANGER, FRUSTRATION, RAGE, DISGUST, DOMINANCE.**_ My head snapped up as I put Alice down and she released me. "They're almost here." Edward and I spoke at the same time.

"Creepy." I couldn't resist the smirk at Emmett's joke. I gave Alice one last look then took off a little distance away and up a tree to watch what would unfold...

...

I was in awe looking at these creatures. All three of them were giant, though the leader, Sam was by far the biggest, and his jet black color added to his ferocity. Apparently vampire hearing was better than wolf senses as I could hear all of them though they couldn't sense me. Edward was translating for the wolves as they refused to shift to speak for themselves. Sam stood his ground during the conversation, going over the treaty, discussing Carlisle's expanded coven, and other pointless things before anyone got to the actual point of this meeting... me. My eyes kept flashing to Alice, hating her being there without me there to protect her. Each wolf was at least three times her size.

"Sam wishes to speak now." Edward sounded relieved he didn't have to translate anymore. The Alpha disappeared behind a tree while his two betas paced their side of the clearing. After a moment, out stepped a muscular native man with black hair and dark eyes. He was tall, probably about my height and wore only shorts as I imagined was an occupational hazard that came with being a wolf.

"We caught scent of an unknown vampire in forks, this on top of the missing guy from the party last night doesn't exactly bode well for the humans here." His words were cutting. "We also caught the same scent on our lands, tied in with a second leech." I flinched and my eyes went to Alice. She looked scared and I'd had just about enough. I decided to get a message to Edward.

*Get this over with.* He didn't give any indication that he'd heard me except the tension in his back as he straightened.

"We met the rogue that passed through here and your lands. He didn't know about the treaty... obviously." That wasn't true nor did it matter. If I wanted to go to the beach I would. I would respect them enough to not hunt humans on their land but I would not be imprisoned to any area.

The other two wolves growled and I saw Sam shake violently like he was freezing. "You met him?!" _**DISGUST.**_

"Yes. He was passing through and didn't know the lands were claimed already. He picked up our scent and approached us before we found him." I watched the wolves through Carlisle's explanation. I didn't need my abilities to read calculation rolling off of them. Carlisle had already revealed that I was a rogue, no coven to defend myself. He also revealed that I was able to get the jump on all 6 of them since they weren't able to get to me first, showing that I was skilled. He also inadvertanly explained that I was most likely the culprit of the missing person seeing as the Cullen's were looking for me at all. I couldn't really get cross with Carlisle for his poor wording as once the wolves saw my eyes the truth would be all to clear.

"Where is he now?" Sam's calm question hid well how he felt, though his body language did not. He was **_ENRAGED_**.

"Around. He wanted to see the area."

"You allowed him to stay!?"

"I don't command anyone. I'm no God, nor am I a police presence in forks..." Carlisle hesitated before speaking the next part. "He promised not to feed from the area while he was here."

"HE KILLED THE COLLEGE STUDENT!" The two wolves started snarling and I had to admit the whole thing looked quite amusing from here, though probably less so up close.

"Again he didn't know about the rules here." Fruitless argument on Carlisle's part but he was trying to keep the peace.

"RULES?! LIKE DONT MURDER?!" _**RAGE.**_ I could feel it radiating all the way over here. I absorbed it and it was so strong I dug my fingers into the tree I was perched in. God that was strong. I closed my eyes and focused on turning the emotion into calm and radiated it out, trying to avoid hitting the Cullen's as much as possible since I wanted them alert, but it was difficult to focus like that from this distance. I watched as both wolves shook their heads repeatedly, trying to shake off my influence but I could feel it working. Sam had stopped shaking but was quite confused now.

"He expressed a willingness to meet with you if that is something you are interested in." Edward spoke now.

"What for?" Sam was angry but curious.

"He didn't specifically say but I suppose he didn't want your clan to think my family was responsible for the human's death." Sam rolled his eyes and the wolf to his left snarled and took a step further. "Paul says that if we are harboring the rogue we are just as responsible." Edward rolled his eyes as he translated.

That was my breaking point. I didn't need anyone harboring me. If my time came it came, but I would go down fighting, never hiding. I slid down the tree silently, and started walking leisurely towards the field. I strategically made sure I approached from a direction away from the Cullen's in case a wolf charged. "He's coming now." _**WORRY, CONCERN.**_ Edward heard my resolve to come and knew I wouldn't be stopped. Immediately the leader exploded into his giant wolf self and glared at his two betas. They had started snarling at Edwards words and it seemed Sam was trying to reign them in. It worked and they both bowed their heads to him.

I leaned against a tree to the left of everyone and waited for them to notice me. The unknown wolf glanced my way and snarled. I gave a salute but made no other move. Sam froze when he saw me. _**WORRY, FEAR, RAGE.**_ He spotted my scars. He knew I was a fighter, the opposite of the Cullen's.

"Greetings." I slowly walked forward, stopping when I was close to both groups yet far apart as well.

"They want..." I held up my hand to silence Edward while keeping my eyes on the wolves.

"I will speak to the Alpha if he gives me the same courtesy. Otherwise we have nothing to talk about." The first beta, Paul, snarled at me and I smiled back kindly. After a few moments Sam disappeared again and came back in human form. I nodded in his direction but he did not return the gesture. His gaze was taking in my marks, and whatever else his instincts told him about me. "Jasper Whitlock. Can't exactly say it's a pleasure, but it's... interesting." Sam just continued to stare at me and I kept my eyes on his. I doubt he'd ever kept eye contact with a red-eyed vampire before and I could feel the _**UNEASE, and FRIGHT**_ coming off him. I really was scary to look at due to my scars and the way I held myself in a way that only experience could teach. My eyes shifted to the other two wolves both of which looked to be holding on by a thread when it came to restraining themselves from attacking. I cocked my head to the side as I watched them. They reminded me so much of the newborns I trained it was incredible. A monster on a chain, and a thin one at that.

"You killed the human." Interesting. He already knew the answer yet seemed to need a verbal confession.

"I did." Simple. I kept my words respectful but apparently it was the wrong thing to say. Simultaneously both wolves charged me.

*HOLD ALICE*

I hoped Edward heard my orders, but I didn't have time to watch him. The wolves flanked me, one on each side, and I didn't have the time or sight to process what the leader was doing. I grabbed both wolves by the throats when they charged at the same time. They were strong, but newborns were stronger. I threw the one on my right as far as I could into a tree. I heard the tree break but kept my focus on Paul, who was trying to tear at me from my left. I used my free hand and grabbed his right arm, snapping it without hesitation. He let out a loud scream meets whimper before I slammed him to the ground, breaking his right shoulder as well. I turned in time to catch Sam as he leaped on top of me, bringing me to the ground. His mouth was close to my neck but not close enough to prohibit my left hand reaching up to grab his jaw. I grasped it hard but carefully so as to not kill him. I threw him off and I saw The Cullen's all tensed. Alice was fighting Edwards restraint with everything she had but he had her tight.

* Don't let her go. Don't let anyone step in to help me. *

Again I couldn't see if my message was obeyed because Jared and Sam were back charging toward me. I jumped over both and grabbed Paul, still whimpering on the ground. I grabbed him by the throat and ran towards a large boulder on the far side of the clearing. I stood atop it and held Paul over the side so that his feet couldn't touch the ground. Thankfully I'd known about the boulder otherwise he would have been to tall to do this with.

"Stop." I didn't yell. I rarely did. I didn't need it to get respect. Sam froze as did Jared, their eyes on their teammate. _**FEAR, LOVE, CONCERN, HATRED.**_ To their credit their hatred for me was secondary to their concern over their injured brother. "My word is my bond. I will not initiate any attack against your tribe." I looked to their wheezing comrade in my hands before looking the alpha dead in the eyes. "However that does not mean that I will take an attack lying down. I will defend myself. Consider this your one and only warning not to try my patience. Next attack, you will lose one of your brothers, maybe both." I glanced to the Cullen's and their eyes were wide watching me. I was too distracted to read them but their faces made it obvious that shock was primary. I glanced at Alice and she was still trying to free herself from Edward. He was whispering to her, to softly for me to hear but I was grateful for that. I was fairly certain his words were something close to 'he's okay' and I didn't want the wolves to know of her attachment to me. Her eyes were pleading to me. Pleading for what I didn't know but my body yearned to give it to her, to take the misery away from her and replace it with the light that should never be out of her eyes.

Sam flashed his eyes between me and Paul and I could see the turmoil in him. Debating fighting for the honor of his pack, safety of his people, and very purpose of his existence. This weighed against his responsibility to do anything in his power to protect his pack. To do whatever was necessary to keep them alive. He nodded his head at me and I got the message. Jared was whimpering at his comrade who was getting weaker by the moment.

"I take no joy in hurting your people, or humans for that matter. I do what I must to survive." The wolves looked to each other whereas Paul was in and out of conscientiousness now. "Now for the terms of OUR treaty." This seemed to take Sam by surprise. He starred at me confused, then snarled. I pretended I hadn't heard him. "The terms are simple, both of us may go as we please, pretty much no different as it is for you now. The difference is that I may go on your lands, provided of course I harm no humans while there or in any surrounding areas. Forks would obviously be included.

"Sam doesn't want 7 vampires with free reign on his lands." Edward was still watching me in shock as he restrained Alice.

"Understandable, though you know perfectly well that the Cullen's mean you no harm. I was not, however referring to them. They are not my coven and I don't wish to disrespect the treaty your two groups have maintained for decades. This is between your tribe and mine, currently just me, but any members I may get in the future would be included, especially should I take a mate." I glanced towards the Cullen's and they looked even more shocked.

"Sam will agree to you and a mate,... but he has a stipulation." Edward starred at me wide eyed as he spoke. I looked back in encouragement. My eyes flickered to Alice, who Edward had released. She was starring at me in as much shock as everyone else. I had a feeling Sam giving in so easily was because of this one demand.

"What is the stipulation?"

"He wants you to renounce human blood." I looked back to Sam, his pack mate, Alice, the Cullens, then Alice again. She smiled softly as I tilted my head slightly to take her in. She was so beautiful when she smiled like that. I smiled back gently before I looked back to Sam determined.

"Agreed."

 **END NOTES:**

I loved this chapter so much. What did everyone think of everything in this chapter?

-Jasper's perceptions of the Cullen's

-Jasper and Alice getting closer

-Jasper starting to display possessive traits over Alice

-The interaction with the wolves

-Jasper initiating a treaty that doesn't restrict the beach and don't forget the amendment that he can bring his mate with him. Maybe more beach dates for him and Alice in the future...

Chapter (SONG) Title: "BITTERSWEET symphony" by The Verve- A song about wanting to change but feeling stuck in the path you've been on. This is the perfect title for this chapter as we have Jasper attempting to change so many things in his existence. His diet, lifestyle, company, etc...

 _ **REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.**_ Tell your friends. I know this chapter was slower to come out then normal, but it was worth the wait, right? Don't answer that. lol


	7. Undisclosed DESIRE

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

****Anybody who thought Jasper was maybe caving into the wolves to much in the last chapter should feel relieved in this one ;-) COME ON! Would I let Jasper roll over to anyone?

****I almost did a slight flash forward from the wolf encounter but had to many ideas for what would happen next. ;-)

****I play around with my chapter names a lot and there is a good chance some will change in the future. If anyone has a great suggestion (Must be a song title with an emotion in the title; exp: FEAR, CRAZY, PAIN, LOVE. Etc...) whether for a future chapter or to rename one, message me.

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 **Chapter#7: Undisclosed DESIRE**

JPOV

 _PREVIOUSLY IN CHAPTER #6_

"Sam doesn't want 7 vampires with free reign on his lands." Edward was still watching me in shock as he restrained Alice.

"Understandable, though you know perfectly well that the Cullen's mean you no harm. I was not, however referring to them. They are not my coven and I don't wish to disrespect the treaty your two groups have maintained for decades. This is between your tribe and mine, currently just me but any members I may get in the future would be included, especially should I take a mate." I glanced towards the Cullen's and they looked even more shocked.

"Sam will agree to you and a mate,... but he has one stipulation." Edward starred at me wide eyed as he spoke. I looked back in encouragement. My eyes flickered to Alice, who Edward had released. She was starring at me in as much shock as everyone else.

"What is the stipulation?"

"He wants you to renounce human blood." I looked back to Sam, his pack mate, Alice, the Cullens, then Alice again. She smiled softly as I tilted my head slightly to take her in. She was so beautiful when she smiled like that. I smiled back gently before I looked back to Sam determined.

"Agreed."

...

AND NOW...

The quiet was almost deafening. With or without a sixth sense whether vampiric, empathic, telepathic, etc... I could read perfectly the mood on the field. Hell if I was blind I could see it. _**HESITATION, ANGER, CONFUSION, SHOCK, RESPECT.**_ So many silent questions screaming at me but I ignored them all. I held the wolf, Paul, firmly while watching the alpha. I hadn't released him yet as I had yet to finish my demands.

"...provided you obey my terms." There would be no 'agreeing to' only compliance. I had the power here not him. Sam and his pack mate crouched low and snarled viciously.

"Sam refuses any more of your requests." Something tells me that Edward is drastically censoring the actual words but no matter.

"Then you are in luck." I kept my eyes on Sam even though Edward was the one speaking. "This is not a request, it is a statement of what I will receive." Sam had thrown in his last, sizable request to exert power over me in his powerless state. It wasn't a problem for me as I had demands of my own. The shock over my agreement was still radiating off the Cullen's but I didn't anticipate my agreement being an issue... at least for now. The wolves made another snarl and Edward was about to translate but I shot him a glare. I didn't have to speak with him mentally for him to get the point.

"Don't insult me or test my patience, alpha." _**FEAR.**_ "You threw this demand at me to display power you don't have." I glanced around and saw the Cullen's eyes all flashing between myself and the pack, that had backed up a small step from me.

Alice looked so small as she watched me. I looked back to Sam quickly, not willing to keep my eyes off him for long. "I am humoring you out of respect... and not for you but for the Cullen's." Sam's eyes went to the coven then back to me. _**CONFUSION.**_ "I would not hunt humans while on these lands as they have earned my respect." My eyes showed my darkness as I stared at his. "You have earned no such thing from me." I looked to Paul, completely passed out at this point. After a moment he began to shift back into a human. I dropped him as he did, keeping my eyes on the pack. They flinched at the movement of him falling upon the boulder but wisely made no move towards him. I crouched over him as I kept eye contact. Since I was still on the rock I kept my height advantage over the giant wolves. I placed my hand over his throat, loosely but they didn't know that. I heard a whimper come from both of them as a result.

"I could kill him, your brother, right now." Edward again went to speak but stopped himself, shaking his head in response to Sam's thoughts. "It would be so easy and so fast. Then there would be 2 of you." I tilted my head as I starred at him. "You couldn't defeat me as three, you have no hope as two." I gave an evil smile that I perfected training the army. "Who would protect your people then?" _**FEAR, SADNESS, RESOLVE.**_ My curiosity peaked on the last emotion but it wasn't important enough to dwell on. They were interpreting my words as I intended them too, as a threat. Truthfully they were a warning. I was not the only monster out there, and if they fought me they would die, meaning a real threat was free to come along and kill their tribe. Their senseless feud with the Cullen's showed their short-shortsightedness. Together the clans could help each-other if the need arose. Separated on separate lands they were crippling themselves and the Cullen's.

"He wants to hear your terms?" _**CURIOSITY.**_ Edward sounded eager.

"For one my WHOLE coven would be allowed on these lands, provided of course they abstain from human blood and are out of the newborn stage if newly created." Edward went to speak but I held up my free hand. "Non-negotiable about my coven making vampires. If I wish to I will. I will take responsibility for them and if they cross any lines I will end them myself." I couldn't picture myself creating anymore vampires as I have nothing but bad memories as a creator but I've learned never say never.

"Lastly you and your wolves will only be permitted in Forks, which shall be my territory, in your human form." Sam snarled and I smiled waiting for his mental screaming to end. _**CALM, POWERFUL, DETERMINED.**_ I threw the emotions at him as potently as I dared to. They would feel my own alpha mentality as I spoke.

"I do not trust you, Alpha, nor your pack. But for actual reasons rather than your prejudice towards us." I was including vampires in general but mostly the Cullen's. "Your race has no control over your impulses. You are fueled by an overwhelming sense of rage." I watched them intently as I spoke, wanting them to feel my words. "You have an inflated sense of duty, self-righteousness, pride, and power. You feel I am a monster, that my kind are monsters..." I glanced in the direction of the Cullen's. "That they are monsters." I stood up straight as I spoke, still keeping eye-contact. "There are monsters among us all. Vampires kill not because we particularly want to but because we must. Much as how a hunter shoots a deer to eat, we hunt to sustain ourselves." _**ANGER, PRIDE, RESENTMENT.**_ The wolves weren't liking what I had to say but they needed to know the reason behind my request.

"Your race kills for a predisposed ingrained prejudice that breeds hatred, all while disguised as a _**noble purpose**_. Then take humans... They steal, beat, abuse, hunt, molest, rape, and pillage for no reason at all." I clasped my hands behind my back as I watched them. I could tell they were intently listening. Good. "So what is more monstrous? The need to feed, the need to hate, or simply the need to take?"

"Do you hunt the monsters among humans with the fervor you hunt my race for merely existing? Do you hunt the monsters among man at all, or do you walk past those monsters without a glance?" I fought a smile as their fur bristled. "This is the problem with playing God, no one has the right to that kind of power. The power to decide who has the right to live or die simply for what they are... or aren't."

"If I had half the ego you do I could see you as the biggest monsters of all in this clearing. Your species is ruled by one feeling alone, rage. In my experience any who use this emotion as their guiding light inevitably end up hurting anybody around them." I had everyone's full attention now. "Allow me to explain." I hopped down from the rock and the wolves backed up, still feeling my fear influence. "When a vampire is in their bloodiest most monstrous state, the newborn year, they are fueled by instinct first, reason second... and yet newborns cannot surpass one thing. One simple thing can calm them down in their darkest state... loyalty/love. If a vampire bonds to another and form a connection it is permanent." I was speaking of the mating bond particularly but some other bonds are strong as well even if no where near as much. Vampires are passionate, more so than wolves but with more then just one emotion steering them unlike the wolves. Vampires feel everything deeply. "A vampire is incapable of harming a loved one in a blind rage. The sense to protect is to strong, to essential to us." I looked to Carlisle and the rest of the coven. _**RESPECT, GRATITUDE, AMAZEMENT.**_ My eyes met the wolves. "Can your race say the same?"

The leader flinched and took noticeable steps back shaking his head rapidly. The other wolf looked like he was trying to comfort the leader. I glanced at Edward and his eyes were wide as he watched the wolves. I took that as confirmation that the Alpha had hurt someone close to him in one of his fits of rage. I dropped the subject. I wouldn't make him feel worse then he already did for whatever he did. My only goal was to give the wolves the same sense of restriction that they gave the Cullen's. Perhaps in time they would choose to adjust the treaty with them more fairly. Perhaps then they would earn my respect, and I would lift my own restrictions.

"He agrees." Edward spoke softly and I bowed my head in respect to the alpha who lowered his as well. I stepped away from Paul towards the Cullen's and heard the wolves run to their brother. Carlisle immediately offered to look him over for the pack and after some resistance Sam agreed. I saw the _**SHOCK**_ on Edward's face at the small gesture of trust and the sheer _**JOY**_ radiating off Carlisle in the face of their trust and it brought a smile to my face.

I stood alone, a small distance away from the coven as we all watched Carlisle care for the boy in front of him. I felt two approach me as I watched Carlisle work calmly. I turned to see Esme and Alice both smiling at me. I gave Esme a nod as she mouthed a silent thank-you. I wasn't completely clear about what she was thanking me for but I appreciated it anyway. She walked to the rest of her family, all watching Carlisle, slightly on edge due to the two wolves hovering over him as he worked.

I felt Alice shift next to me and hesitantly lean into my side, resting her head on my arm. _**ADORATION**_. I gave her hand a small squeeze then walked into the forest. She followed me as I knew she would. We walked at an unhurried pace until we were out of eyesight. I ran full speed then, in no direction particularly and she continued to follow. After a couple minutes we stopped and looked around the small patch of forest with a small creek, where we'd found ourselves.

I turned to her as she smiled softly at me. She was standing in front of me, not saying a word just watching me with her bright warm eyes. I used to love the cold and hate the heat, because of what warmth reminded me of but now it would always remind me of her eyes, warm, bright, and beautiful. I stroked her cheek with my finger and she lowered her head. _**SHY, NERVOUS.**_ I tilted her head up and focused on calming her while I watched her eyes.

 _ **JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE**_. Did she understand that this was my own way of telling her that she didn't need to be shy? That she should always be that bright innocent girl I'd met just yesterday, who crashed down on me like a tidal wave. She reached up and hugged me around my neck and I grasped her around her waist, pulling her up off the ground into my chest so that neither of us had to lean to embrace. After a few minutes we sat down and watched the stars. We didn't speak, at least not with words. We just felt each-other, and it was amazing. I didn't know why we were doing this but it was right somehow, us. A couple hours passed and she crawled into my lap and we continued to watch the sky as she traced my arms that I had wrapped around her middle.

I glanced at her and saw her looking at my arms and tracing all the scars. I stiffened internally but my posture stayed the same. I didn't want her to notice my discomfort. I didn't understand why I had the feeling myself. I'd been branded with marks from almost the beginning, as I lived a hard existence. I watched her as she continued to trace the marks all over my arms, as though she were connecting the dots. _**CONTENTMENT, CURIOSITY, AWE.**_ The innocence, compassion, and beauty of the creature in my arms was enough to leave me breathless. She was in awe of me? Of what? My appearance? That wasn't possible, my skin was forever damaged. Our differences couldn't be better symbolized then by our appearances

Skin: I was flawed and she was flawless. I was beaten she was new.

Eyes: I was a monster, she was an angel. I came from darkness, she knew only light.

She pivoted in my lap so that she was now straddling me. I kept my arms around her as she watched my eyes for a moment before her eyes went to my face. Her hand reached up and began to trace some of the scars on my face, her fingers then went down to my neck, the worst place on my body after my arms. When her fingers got to Maria's mark I reached up and grabbed her hand gently but firmly. I didn't know why I did this but her eyes locked on mine as I held her hand which was still touching the mark that made me what I am.

She pulled her hand away, lowering both of our hands in the process as I hadn't let hers go. Our eyes stayed on each-other as the mood shifted. _**UNDERSTANDING, SADNESS.**_ I brought her hand back up to my lips and kissed her wrist. She tilted her head and began to lean into me. Before I knew what she was doing she was kissing my mark softly. I froze at the sensation. _**DESIRE, LUST, CARE, DEVOTION.**_ I couldn't keep the feelings in and I knew she felt it, and knew that it was my feelings not what I was manipulating. She wrapped her arms around me softly and nestled her face into my neck where she'd kissed me.

I could feel her breath on my marks and it gave me chills that weren't caused by any temperature change. I gazed far away as I held her. On the surface I knew I looked as calm as always but inside I was panicked. I could feel myself bonding to this creature irreversibly. Part of me wanted to step back but that part, normally the part that controls my actions, was a whisper compared to the rest of me. It screamed at me to hold her close and absolutely never let go. I could feel possession overriding reason. Want surpassing right. Need overwhelming thought. All I could do was hold her tighter as my mind thundered.

After a little while she relaxed in my arms, shifting slightly so that her head was rested against my left shoulder, her legs over my lap so that she could look up at me though for the most part we watched the sky. I rubbed her back with my left hand while I stroked her with my right. I rubbed her legs, her arms, cheek, anything I could reach. She grabbed my hand after awhile and tilted it, noticing the particularly bad mark on my wrist. I watched her, waiting for a reaction. She looked up at me as she continued to hold my hand.

"Do you have them anywhere else?" Her words were a whisper, like she didn't want to break the enchantment of our silence.

"They are everywhere." I had scars on my chest, back, legs, truly all over.

"What's your worst one?" She seemed hesitant. I knew she meant physically and visually when she meant the worst, otherwise I would have pointed to Maria's marks. She had bitten me many times, her own way of striking a claim on me. Her 'marks' hurt more then any ripping newborns had done to me, but I wouldn't burden Alice with that. I leaned over and hunched so that the back of my neck was exposed to Alice. I moved my hair and I heard her breath catch at the particularly gory mess there. I readjusted myself and watched her face. Her eyes looked like they wanted to cry.

I felt vulnerable seeing her like that. I couldn't even manipulate her as I normally would, because she was both tragic and unimaginably beautiful in the moment. I just starred into her sad pitying eyes, at a loss of what to say. As it turned out I didn't need to worry about making her happy again because after just a brief moment a soft smile came to her face.

"You're so beautiful." _**AWE.**_ I was shocked by her words. _**SHOCK, DOUBT, CONFUSION.**_ She reached her hand forward and stroked some of my scars while watching me. "You've seen so much, most of which has probably been ugly and awful." My eyes watched her closely as she spoke. "You lived through it all and came out this wise, wonderful man who sees so much, who feels deeper than any of us could imagine." She sniffed and glanced down before looking back at me. "It would have been so easy for you to give up but you didn't." She shifted herself back into a straddling position but kept her posture hunched and relaxed as she watched me, and I watched her. "You value the simplest things that many would take for granted. I just..." She trailed off for a moment as she looked away, at what I didn't know as I couldn't take my eyes off her to glance in the direction. "I think you're beautiful."

I grabbed her chin and pulled her eyes to me. "You're the beautiful one. So innocent, pure, kind, and incredible." She smiled and I smiled back softly. "You're my ray of sunshine, darlin." Our eyes were locked as I spoke softly to her. "You're my light." I stopped thinking and leaned in, kissing her without hesitation and without doubt. I was a century old empath, and this was the first truest thing I'd ever felt.

 **END NOTES:**

Short but sweet. I couldn't shake these ideas today at work and wrote most of it while I was working. Shhhh. ;-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Undisclosed DESIRE" by Muse- My personal favorite Muse song. It's about knowing the deeper parts that someone hides (Beauty, goodness, etc...) behind a mask of violence and coldness. It's about wanting to save someone from their past and show the world what they are capable of. Alice is shining a light on how good Jasper truly is under his century of ugliness.

 _ **PLEASE REVIEW, FOLLOW, FAVORITE**_. Let me know what you think about everything.


	8. High HOPES

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **(PLEASE READ AUTHOR NOTES AND END NOTES)**_

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

****The heat is on with Jasper and Alice... or at least a simmer. How will the Cullen's take his attentions to the baby of the family?

****Some new characters will be in this chapter.

****I hope no body gets offended from the possessive feelings vampires (particularly males) have towards their mates. Yes it's dominate but it's instinctive.

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 **Chapter#8: High HOPES**

JPOV

She was still perched in my lap as I held her close. Most in her position would be self-conscious, given that she was still straddling me. She didn't even notice which I could tell was due to the fact that she wasn't thinking of it like that. It spoke further of her innocence and inexperience. It was innocence I certainly didn't share as every fiber of my body was hyper aware of every inch of hers. Where she pressed up against me tightly, where we just lightly caressed, and even the sensation of our clothing barely brushing past one another was ingrained in my mind. I pushed the thoughts away before they led somewhere I didn't want to go in this moment, and just focused on her. She had started kissing me back the moment my lips were on hers and held me with the lightest gentlest of touches. Everything about her was so sweet and completely pure. I couldn't get enough of her, and what she radiated...GOOD. Just pure, simple, bright GOODNESS. Realistically I knew that there were plenty of people out there capable of amazing things, but her light was blinding. It bewitched me and like the darkness seeks out the light, I was drawn to her.

My hand held the back of her head and I pulled her closer to me as I deepened our kiss. I had to run my hand through her short raven black hair to distract myself from the overwhelming pulse to pull her head even closer to myself. My body buzzed with the urge to keep her, to possess her, and even more so to dominate her. I was being quite firm in how tight I had her now and I almost lightened my hold except she came willingly. The thought that she wanted this made me smile internally. She was submitting to me. I didn't let my mind think about what that meant or what it would mean if I started submitting to her in return. _**ATTRACTION, LUST, NERVOUSNESS, EXCITEMENT.**_ I groaned softly at her lust mixing with my own. Thanks to my past I had a special hatred for this emotion but like everything else bad in my life, with her I saw it in a new light. She reached up, her elbows on my shoulders, and her hands started playing with my hair softly with just her fingertips. This caused her whole body to press tightly to my chest and at vampire speed I grasped her even closer. We had yet to come up for air and I knew once we did the spell would break. I didn't know what would happen when it did but with how perfect this moment was, I knew it wasn't possible it could get better.

I felt a vibration going through my whole lower abdomen. It felt disturbingly good given what we were doing. I realized it was coming from her pant pocket and must be her cell phone. I pulled back a fraction of an inch, something no human would have noticed but she did. She let loose the tiniest whimper at my hesitation and I was gone. All I could focus on was pleasing her so I tightened my hold on her head while using my other hand to lower us both to the ground, myself over her. Again she went willingly, offering soft moans in response.

My left hand held me above her while my right grasped and rubbed up her body simultaneously. It was possessive but it was also gentle. _**JOY, LUST, DISBELIEF, HESITANCE.**_ I wanted her to feel everything I felt for her just as I could feel what she felt for me.

 _ **HESITANCE, CONCERN, ANNOYANCE.**_ I froze and Alice did too in response. Those weren't her emotions, but they were close. Quicker than I thought I was capable of, I was up having grabbed Alice with me and I had her backed up to a tree, me crouched in front of her looking around. I heard a snarl come from me but didn't focus on it. I needed to stay in control. I opened myself up to what I could feel.

 _ **HESITANCE, CONCERN, ANNOYANCE.**_ The unknown visitors emotions hadn't changed.

 _ **CONCERN, FEAR, REJECTION.**_ Alice emotions were surging through me now. I wanted to comfort her, to assure her that I was certainly not rejecting her, far from it in fact. I wanted to hold her in comfort, but a small war raged in me. These foreign emotions were closer than they should have gotten, without me noticing, due to my distraction with her. I couldn't allow myself further distraction and risk something harming her. "Someone is near." My voice held no emotion but I hoped it gave explanation to her. She held my hand from behind me and I let her. I didn't want to admit it but I found a tremendous amount of comfort in her touch.

After a tense few moments I felt Alice relax behind me. I almost asked why she was so calm but then I smelt who it was, Edward. I gathered she had picked up his scent before I did, all part of the familiarity of a coven. He came out of the trees and I relaxed my stance but stayed in front of her. "Carlisle wants to speak with you Alice." _**CONCERN, SURPRISE, CURIOSITY.**_ Edwards emotions were easy enough to understand but I found his calm exterior surprising. He gave no emotion away, at least to anyone not an empath. I glanced back at Alice and saw her eyes were slightly wide, gaze shifty, and a small smile was playing on her lips. _**SHY, NERVOUS, EXCITED, LUSTFUL, ATTRACTION.**_ She was an open book, with or without my abilities. She was the complete opposite of her brother. She couldn't keep a secret to save her life. I smiled internally, adding the trait to the list of things I adored about her. She hadn't released my hand as she stepped forward, with clear intention of us going together.

I didn't budge and pulled her back slightly, keeping my eyes on him. "I need to speak with Alice alone for a few more moments." Edward looked at me for a moment, weighing my words before he nodded and took off the way he came.

I turned to her taking her other hand before looking at her face. _**FEAR, WORRY, DOUBT, REJECTION.**_ Her eyes were wide as she took in whatever expression I wore. I let go of her left hand to cradle her face. "I'm going to need to leave soon, darlin."

"You said you would stay." She was trying to stay strong but she was transparent as she whispered with a voice filled with sadness matching her emotions.

"I did, there is however somewhere I need to go first."

"Where?" Her voice was so quiet and I hated the sadness I could hear. I couldn't stand hearing her like that. She was my sunshine, as I'd already told her, she should never be sad.

"To meet up with a couple old friends of mine. We traveled together just the three of us for a time and have an agreement to check in every few months." She nodded while keeping her eyes down, only glancing at me briefly.

"Hey." I pulled her eyes to me. I felt terrible about leaving but I did need to assure Peter and Charlotte I was okay as well as make sure they were fine. They were the only family I had and I cared for them. Plus given what had just happened between Alice and I, the Cullen's, the wolves... I needed to think and I needed to do it fast. "I wont be gone long, I promise you."

She seemed to perk up slightly at my promise, even offering me one of her smiles that lit up my world. "When will you go?" I kept my hand on her chin, keeping our eye-contact.

"After I speak with your family, as I assume they have some questions for me." She nodded and tried to look away but I held her firmly, never removing my gaze.

"You might miss me starting school for the first time." She was stalling but it was so cute. There was something disturbingly pleasant about her desire to include me in something so ridiculously and irrelevantly human. Nevertheless if it was important to her, it was important to me.

"If so, you can tell me all about it when I come back." She nodded but didn't look at me. I tilted my head and watched her. "Did you want to talk about what just happened with us?" It seemed strange to talk about somehow, as it felt so natural at the time, but given my need to leave I certainly wasn't going to let her think I was abandoning her. She smiled while averting her eyes for a moment before looking back at me.

"Maybe... but I don't know what to say." _**RELIEF, EXCITEMENT, LUST, EAGERNESS.**_ It was a mirror of what I felt towards her. I loved her honesty, in both her emotions and her words. I wasn't sure if it was caused by her youth or something else but I got the feeling that it was just part of her. She was Bright, pure, and TRUE. Another thing to add to the reason I can't get her off my mind.

I smiled before leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead before resting mine to hers as I breathed her in. "How about we talk about it when I return? Would that be okay, darlin?" If it wasn't, I would stay until she was comfortable with me leaving. I couldn't bare the idea of hurting her so even over Peter; my best friend, and Charlotte; who I also have a bond with, I would stay if it was what she needed.

She nodded and without another word we ran towards her home. She took the lead and I let her. We weren't going anywhere near full speed as we weren't in any hurry to get there. I wasn't looking forward to the conversation with them all and I certainly wasn't looking forward to leaving Alice. I needed to think though. There would be repercussions if I let things escalate further between us and I wasn't ready for what that could mean for Alice or myself.

We made it to the house and everyone was waiting outside for us. _**CURIOSITY, RELIEF, ANGER, POSSESSION, WORRY.**_ Alice took them in and immediately dropped our hands, though I felt her reluctance. She kept her head up but didn't make eye-contact as she walked forward. I stood watching, waiting to see who would go in first or last. It would give me an idea of who wanted to talk to me. Esme went in with Alice, holding her as she did. Rosalie didn't look at me twice as she followed them, followed closely by Edward. Emmett and Carlisle both watched me and I starred back in challenge. I gestured with my hand for them to lead the way and they did, though they kept looking back to see if I followed. I did.

The family was meeting in the living room this time as opposed to the dining room. Esme and Carlisle sat together on the largest couch with Alice. It wasn't lost on me that Carlisle had his arm around Alice pulling her close to him in a protective embrace. _**CONCERN, POSSESSION, LOVE.**_ I had to fight the urge to growl at what his emotions were saying. Anyone feeling any ownership of her alone was enough to set me on fire but add in the silent accusations in my direction and I was using my abilities on myself to fight off the urge to challenge Carlisle. It was a ridiculous feeling, which is why I was suppressing it, but it was there nevertheless. I ignored him to the best of my abilities and took my normal position standing away from the rest of them as they took their seats. Edward also remained standing, though on the opposite side of the room near a piano.

"So what the hell was that with the wolves?" _**EXCITEMENT, INTRIGUE, EAGERNESS, DISAPPOINTMENT.**_ Emmett spoke as eloquently as I would have expected and my eyes landed on him, where I had been glancing around at all of them. I didn't say anything as his question was vague, considering all that had transpired. He would need to elaborate in order to get his questions answered. He watched me impatiently and I just starred back. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "You took on all three like it was nothing."

I shrugged. "That isn't a question, Emmett." He laughed while shaking his head.

"How did you learn to fight like that? Have you done that before? Were you worried at all?"

"I was always a strong fighter and as a newborn my choices were to be the best or die." I kept zero emotion in my response. I couldn't allow the emotions to come up. "I trained non stop, even more than my creator expected. I knew I needed to stand out or I would be eliminated."

"What do you mean?" Esme sounded so sad as she asked. I looked her straight in the eye, giving no feelings away.

"Newborns were rarely allowed to live past the first year. They were only created to use the newborn strength and speed, once those traits were gone, we were dispensable." _**SHOCK, SADNESS.**_ I didn't want their pity as the emotion made me feel weak so I tried to press on.

Just as I went to open my mouth Alice was suddenly holding onto me tightly. I smiled to myself at how she could sneak up on me so easily. Her size and the fact that she relaxed me so much that my body, usually hyper aware of everything, just didn't register her as a threat. My arms went around her shoulders gently as her arms squeezed my waist tightly. She rubbed her face into my chest and I stroked her head gently while looking down at her. _**SADNESS, AFFECTION, HOPE, ADORATION.**_ I smiled slightly and slowly, as I felt all she had to give. I took in how small she was next to me, with her head below my pecs, and mentally shook my head. She was sweet, kind, innocent, tiny, physically weak, inexperienced, so trusting, and so honest. All traits polar opposite to Maria, yet I adored every trait with every fiber of my being. She was perfect, and I had no idea what I had done to warrant her attentions or certainly her affections.

"You knew you could be killed at any moment?" Edward spoke normally, like his sister wasn't clinging to a man the family didn't know or trust.

"Yes. Many of us did, we were smart enough to put two and two together." Alice grasped me tighter at my words and I continued to stroke her hair absently.

"Why did you all go along with it?" Esme spoke now. My eyes went to her and I noticed the other three were quite on edge, eyes on Alice and mines embrace. Emmett's jaw was tense, Rosalie had her eyes narrowed but avoided eye contact with me and Carlisle's face held no expression, which spoke volumes, given his normally open personality. I chose not to read them specifically as I was sure not to like what I did.

"Many reasons. We had nowhere to go. We feared the Volturi, if we did try to escape. We had no one to trust. We had no experience with what we were. We feared everything, especially ourselves." I shrugged. Nothing I said wasn't true but honestly there was a lot worse things then living with the very real possibility of dying. Alice released me and looked into my eyes. I looked down at her but didn't hold her gaze. I didn't want to see pity in her eyes. I only wanted to see her smile. I stroked her face gently while looking to the rest of the family. Emmett and Carlisle both stiffened at my touch but I couldn't care less.

"In answer to your second question." I decided to take point in answering their questions now as I wasn't going to allow more questions about my early years. "Have I done that before? In the sense of fighting wolves, no. That is the first time I've seen spirit warriors. If you mean have I fought outnumbered against larger foes that were uncontrollable, yes. I had to fight outnumbered many times in my century in the south. In my first year I rose as a favorite early so the others saw defeating me as their way to survive. Much like how an inmate tries to take out the biggest guy in prison so as to not get messed with." I had stepped away from Alice, not being able to bare seeing her devastated face as she listened. I was standing in front of her as I spoke, gently trying to step around her completely. She reached both hands out to grasp my left one just as I managed to step around slightly. My eyes closed as I felt her mood. _**AFFECTION, CARE, DESPERATION, PLEADING.**_ She didn't want me to pull away from her. I didn't need words to translate that from her feelings.

"Your last question." I opened my eyes and saw everyone of their eyes on Alice and me. They could see her affection for me and they could see, if nothing else, me allowing her attentions. They didn't know what to make of me or my affections for her. Truthfully I didn't know how deep they currently ran but they had the potential to grow into something I never expected to find. "Was I worried at all? No, I wasn't. Not because I knew I would win but because I accepted I would die in battle a long time ago. I've made my peace with that. When I go down, it will be fighting." I was sure the family had less and less interest in anything that had transpired with the wolves now but I felt inclined to avoid the other topic at all costs.

"Your deal with the wolves. You went with his request fairly easily. We're all a little surprised by that. This... lifestyle isn't easy. For you it would be even harder." Edward spoke calmly and his words rang true. I was used to struggling though. I wasn't afraid of the challenge.

"I wouldn't be hunting humans while I'm here anyway, out of respect for your... family." I'd almost said coven but I knew they were more than that. "It was an easy enough request to grant."

"Have you ever... resisted human blood before." Alice spoke so softly. I glanced at her but she had her head down. I wish I knew what she thought of me and my past. She had never harmed a soul, while I've killed more than I could ever count, including my own kind. She had never tasted human blood, I've never had anything else.

"Yes and no. I have never been a very thirsty vampire. Even as a newborn I fed far less than the others. I have never actually tried to abstain from human blood but I'm... willing to try." The truth was I found the idea of feeding from animals, oddly reassuring. Something about the concept comforted me. The idea that I had some degree of choice in what I am was beyond appealing. I saw a small smile play on her lips as she nodded to herself.

I decided to sit down in the armchair Alice had led me to before and sat down unprompted. It felt strange standing as they all sat watching me. Alice took a few hesitant steps forward and sat back down next to her father and mother. He smiled at her gently before turning to me. "Sam intended for you to abstain completely,..." He spoke quietly but firmly, keeping his eyes on me. "... not just while in forks. Do you intend to honor the agreement?" I didn't miss the judgment behind the word honor. My jaw flexed at his implication. I wasn't the only one who noticed his tone either. From anyone else he wouldn't have seemed harsh but he was such a kindly spoken man that the slightest inflection was glaringly obvious. Esme looked at him with clear surprise and Edward was watching him intently. I imagined he was reading his leaders mind.

"The Alpha had many intentions on the field." I was stalling. Honestly I didn't know if I could give up human blood entirely but I would try, at least for now. "He intended to kill me. He intended to dominate me as he has your coven." Rosalie hissed and I smirked but kept my eyes on Carlisle. To his credit, my words didn't upset him. He truly was a pacifist. The only thing that was upsetting him now was my affections for his daughter. I knew that was what was behind this. He didn't think any human drinker was worthy of his innocent daughter. Little did he know I was inclined to agree with him.

"We are what we are. You can not honestly say that your coven has abstained, even after adopting this lifestyle." _**SHAME, SADNESS, ANGER.**_ I held up my hand to the onslaught of emotions my words had brought. _**CALM.**_ "I'm not judging any of you, I assure you of that. I'm simply pointing out that I am not psychic." I looked back at Alice and she was looking at me again instead of the ground. She gave a soft smile at my words. I gave her a wink that I knew the others wouldn't see and her smile was blinding as she again averted her eyes. I looked back to the Cullen's and continued like I hadn't paused speaking. "I cannot promise I will not slip... but I will... try." In my head I finished the sentence with the words '...to be better, to be worthy.'

Carlisle smiled slightly at my words. Edward was looking at me strangely and I wondered if he heard my thoughts. I was pretty skilled at blocking telepaths but I couldn't have my guard up all the time.

"So lets address the elephant in the room." Emmett's words boomed through the room, as we had unwittingly quieted our voices as we spoke. I looked at him but didn't speak. I knew which elephant he was referring to but I would let him speak the words.

"What exactly are your intentions with my sister?" I tilted my head as I starred at him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see every member starring at him wide-eyed.

Carlisle- _**HESITANCE.**_ I took his feelings to mean he wasn't sure he wanted the answer.

Alice- _**SHY, CURIOUS, EMBARRASSED, AFFECTIONATE.**_

Edward- _**WORRY.**_ He was looking at Alice and I imagined he didn't like how embarrassed she was.

Esme- _**EMBARRASSED.**_ In her own motherly way she was feeling for her daughter.

Rosalie- _**ANGER.**_ I didn't need to analyze her. It was simply her go to emotion

Emmett- _**EXCITMENT, HUMOR, ANGER.**_ I raised my brow a bit at his warring emotions. He found the over-all situation humorous and was excited to hear my answer. At the same time though he knew my response would most likely piss him off.

I just starred at him in silence, weighing my words carefully. I could feel the energy in the room and it was almost hilarious how this was so much tenser then the talk of my past or the meeting with the pack. "My intentions?" He nodded and I tilted my head just watching him. My gaze flicked quickly to Alice. She was watching me with her lips held together tightly, fighting a smile. If she was human she would be red. I averted my gaze to her, taking in her appearance and she smiled despite trying to fight it. She tilted her head away from me but her eyes flickered back after a moment to find me still watching her. She jumped slightly and I smiled at her reaction. I looked away from her and watched everyone else. They all took in our exchange intently but said nothing. Their emotions however were screaming their earlier emotions, just far louder. "That is between Alice and myself."

He puffed up at my evasion and I was a little eager to know what he would say. "As her brother I need to make sure she's not taken advantage of." I glanced at Alice again and she had her eyes wide but gaze flickered down. _**MORTIFIED, SHY, ANNOYED.**_ This little coven was so family like it was endearing.

I smirked at her 'brother' before speaking. "Taken advantage of? In what way do you mean?" His eyes widened and I saw Edward and Esme both fighting a smirk out of the corner of my eye. Rosalie looked more pissed then before and Carlisle seemed to have turned to stone.

"Umm." As eloquent as could be expected. I thought about how to respond. I could be blunt and make him as uncomfortable as he had made Alice. I could just avoid answering at all, it wasn't like he could force me. In all my years on this planet I'd never found myself in such a human styled awkward situation before. It was almost charming but I refused to be intimidated by him.

"Do you mean taken advantage of physically?" The room went dead silent, which is saying something considering it was a room of vampires and we can hear almost any little sound around. It was like the very air stopped moving at my words. "Intimately...emotionally,..." I continued to watch him while speaking very slowly. "or sexually?" If Emmett was human he would be red now but for an entirely different reason than Alice. I could feel the anger coming of him from the other side of the room and I wasn't even tapping into my gift to get a real feel for him.

He actually growled at me and I just continued to stare at him with my emotionless expression. "My intensions are between Alice and myself." He went to object but I continued to speak. "I will not insult or demean her by discussing what happens between us publicly. What is ours, is ours." My last words were laced with finality. I would not discuss my potential relationship with them. I didn't know them and it wasn't their concern. She may be their family but I was not. Alice smiled to herself and gave me a shy smile and I gave her a short head nod in response.

The family made awkward small talk for a couple minutes and I saw the opportunity to discuss my departure. I told them I would be leaving to catch up with my old friends in Texas and would be gone for an unspecified amount of time. To say they were surprised would be an understatement. I was immediately glad I'd already told Alice as her mother immediately went to her side and rubbed her arms reassuringly while Alice averted her eyes from me entirely. She had not pushed for me to stay so I believed that to mean that she was fine with my leaving. _**SADNESS.**_ It hit me like a battering ram. I absolutely hated that emotion coming from her. The family started asking me questions about my trip like I was going on vacation. I most certainly wasn't.

My mask slipped as they asked me what I was going to do. Peter and Charlotte had decided to go back to Texas a couple months ago out of curiosity for what was happening with the armies. They were still around but far more discrete these days. That was why I was so worried about them. Maria was in Texas and there was no love lost between her and my coven mates. She blamed Peter for my leaving and as a result hated him with a special passion.

"Are you excited to go home to Texas?" _**CURIOUSITY, KINDNESS.**_ Esme spoke through a smile but I could see that she noticed my resolve slip momentarily.

I laughed without humor. "No. It will not be a good trip." I don't know why I said that without explaining further. I knew that they would be curious for further explanation. Her brows creased in response. _**CONCERN.**_ I took a deep unnecessary breath before I spoke again. "Texas itself, will always be my home, but going there..." I watched as they all watched me intensely. "it will mean 'meeting my maker' as it were." They looked more confused than before. It wasn't really my intention to speak in riddles but I wasn't eager to talk about this.

"You could die?" She went to object but I continued to speak. _**DEVASTATION, SHOCK, HORROR, POSSESSION, DETERMINATION.**_ I starred at Alice in shock when I felt her possessive emotions. She was feeling possessive of me. The thought was exciting, though worrisome at the same time.

I laughed but shrugged at the same time. I felt a small amount of anger come from Alice at that motion. The smile was immediately off my face as I appraised her. She made no effort to hide the feeling from me, even though she was only slightly mad. She was displaying some dominance over me. I smiled at her before elaborating to the group. "When I say 'meet my maker' I mean it literally. My creator is in Texas and we did not part on pleasant terms." The group looked at each-other then me. It was almost spooky how they all moved together like they did. If they thought I would just talk about Maria without being prompted, they were mistaken.

"What happened?" Alice spoke softly, her anger diminishing as fast as it had occurred. Her words were soft and comforting. I watched her, still sitting with her mother, and weighed what to say.

"Maria used me for over a century, toyed with me, lied to me, and one day I was done." It was simple and vague but the truest thing I could say without getting emotional.

"Maria?" They all said together, but with different tones. Alice displayed some jealousy. That would not be a pleasant conversation. Esme seemed saddened, probably putting together pieces of how Maria used me. Emmett and Rosalie both felt curious but hesitant. Edward was reading Carlisle who had an overwhelming feeling of _**HORROR.**_ Clearly he knew who Maria was. She had quite the reputation and she thrived in the infamy.

"Yes, Maria." I felt exposed, even though I had revealed nothing of her to the group and I felt a need to exit as a result. I stood up quickly from my place on the couch and strangely enough Carlisle rose just as fast as I did.

"Perhaps you could call your old friends and check on them that way?" _**WORRIED.**_ I smiled at his needless concern. Maria wouldn't hurt me, she wasn't capable of it, she never was. At least not physically.

"Why?" I was curious about what he knew of her.

"I've heard about this Maria. She doesn't have the kindest reputation." Understatement of the century. I laughed exuberantly.

"No she doesn't and I can assure you that whatever you've heard, she is so much worse." The family didn't respond to my jovial yet truthful statement.

"We would be more than happy to let you borrow our phone. Perhaps your friends could visit you here?" That pulled me up short. Why would he want my friends here? It was obvious that they weren't 'vegetarians' and that they would bring the wrath of the wolves on us with their presence.

"Are you afraid for me?" I tilted my head as I watched him. "Or are you afraid of who might follow me back if I do go to Texas?" _**RELIEF.**_ He was happy that I understood his concern, and truthfully I did.

I agreed to call Peter but made no agreement not to go to Texas. I had a pull to leave, to get some space and I needed the excuse. Alice seemed so hopeful that I wouldn't leave after Carlisle's offer, that I had to take him up on it. I called and to my surprise Peter actually answered. Normally we showed our ages by avoiding technology but we weren't completely ignorant to it. I was using the office on the second story of the house while the family was immersed in their own activities. He had managed to avoid Maria but had come across a couple stray newborns that he and Charlotte had to take out in order to survive. I would never understand how the Volturi would allow the risk of exposure in exchange for a few gifted guard members.

We ended up speaking for awhile. We hadn't heard from each-other in couple months and apparently things had been exciting for him in that time. Conversation steered to me and I explained to him about Forks, the 'vegetarian' vampires, and the wolves. I avoided the topic of Alice entirely as well as my agreement with the wolves to avoid human blood. He was beyond curious about the wolves and before I knew it he was inviting himself to forks. I accepted but explained to him to avoid the Quileute land, at least until he met with me. He agreed easily and hung up fast, eager to get here. He told me it would be about two days as he and Charlotte would hunt locally before coming here.

I hung up the phone in a bit of a daze. My old 'carnivorous' friends meeting my new 'vegetarian' ones. What would they think of each-other? What would Charlotte and Peter think of my trying vegetarianism? What would they think of Alice? What would Alice think of them? Where would they stay? Where would I stay. How did all this happen?

2 days ago I was simply wondering like I had the last 2 decades. I wanted for nothing and had nothing. Now I had my old life and my new potential coming together and I had no idea what to expect or how to plan for it. 2 days ago I was alone, now I had... what did I have? What was Alice to me? What was I to her? What was her family to me? 2 days ago I had never heard of spirit warriors now I had an arrangement with them to give up my very food source for the unknown to appease them as well as my new 'friends'. 2 days ago I was hesitant and distant to everything in life. Now I have something I hadn't experienced since I was human, and it was all thanks to a little pixy with a smile that pulled me in from the moment my eyes saw her. She gave me something so precious I didn't even know I was missing it as somewhere in my mind I felt I was unworthy of it. She gave me hope.

What a difference 2 days can make to a man who had thought he was just a monster.

 **END NOTES:**

I know this is longest I've gone without posting a chapter so far. I was out of town for my birthday but did a lot of brainstorming. At least it's a longer chapter. A lot of fun stuff will be coming to the story in the upcoming chapters.

***A little reference to what Jasper had said in the original books about Alice making him feel hope again when they met. :-)

 **Please REVIEW, FOLLOW, FAVORITE. Feel free to send me messages, ideas, or requests as well.**


	9. UNBREAKABLE

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **(PLEASE READ AUTHOR NOTES AND END NOTES)**_

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

****Jasper tries vegetarianism

****Jasper makes a new friend. ;-)

****I was going to make this a really long chapter but decided to break it up so that I could publish this part now.

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 **Chapter#9: UNBREAKABLE**

 **JPOV**

PREVIOUSLY IN CHAPTER#8

2 days ago I was simply wondering like I had the last 2 decades. I wanted for nothing and had nothing. Now I had my old life and my new potential coming together and I had no idea what to expect or how to plan for it. 2 days ago I was alone, now I had... what did I have? What was Alice to me? What was I to her? What was her family to me? 2 days ago I had never heard of spirit warriors now I had an arrangement with them to give up my very food source for the unknown to appease them as well as my new 'friends'. 2 days ago I was hesitant and distant to everything in life. Now I have something I hadn't experienced since I was human, and it was all thanks to a little pixy with a smile that pulled me in from the moment my eyes saw her. She gave me something so precious I didn't even know I was missing it as somewhere in my mind I felt I was unworthy of it. She gave me hope.

What a difference 2 days can make to a man who had thought he was just a monster.

 **and now...**

Fire burns and I couldn't escape the idea that I was playing with it. Peter and Charlotte are my closest friends but we are certainly not alike. They are passionate and can be quite impulsive as a result of that, Charlotte especially. While the three of us were together they followed me as their leader and they were loyal friends and soldiers. I was worried about what sort of problems they would cause here without someone to reign them in. It wasn't my place to lead them anymore but at the same time I had a claim on this land as did the Cullen's and they needed to respect the rules here. I knew that Charlotte and Peter were both respectful of me, more so than I deserved, but they were set in their ways. I had told Peter that they would not be permitted to hunt here and he accepted it easily. I worried what would happen if human blood tempted them though.

There was also the issue of the wolves. Would they consider my friends coming here to be an act of war. Judging by the violence all three radiated I would say yes. The pack didn't have much of a choice but to comply since they couldn't take me alone let alone two more. Rest assured if push came to shove, despite time/distance/lifestyle, Peter and Charlotte would stand by me in a fight, no matter the opponent.

I debated if I should meet Charlotte and Peter away from Forks first and ease them in or should I just let them come at their own pace. I felt it was discourteous of me to act as though they needed a chaperon but at the same time I was careful by nature. I didn't want a situation, easily avoidable, to occur out of politeness. Peter was so easy going he wouldn't take offense if I watched them closely while they were here but it still felt off. He had never betrayed me in even a small way, he would respect my request. He didn't have the greatest control of his blood-lust though, nor did Charlotte.

I pushed the debate aside as I still had more than a day to think about it. It could be added to the list of things I needed to sort through. I joined the family in the living room, it was still so strange how domestic they were, and sat down in what was becoming my standard seat here. Alice settled next to me at a polite distance and smiled brightly at me as everyone else sat around. As soon as I told the Cullen's of my friends estimated arrival time, they seemed to both tense and relax. Esme, the eternal mother of the clan asked me about my 'family', her words. I was happy to oblige, as it took the focus off of me.

"Peter was changed 92 years after I was. He was part of a mass group of humans that had been rounded up from across state line's." Esme seemed a bit confused by that and I reluctantly elaborated. "That's how humans were gathered... in mass to feed the newborns, since we couldn't allow them to wonder far to hunt on their own. They were to conspicuous and savage."

Not surprisingly Esme saddened considerably from my words. _**PEACE**_. I didn't want her to compare herself to the army. Her darkest moment couldn't even register as a blip in the memories of what I'd witnessed. She smiled slightly to herself so I knew my subtle influence was working. I kept speaking as though I hadn't just done what I'd done. If she knew it was from me, the influence would benefit her far less than it should.

"Peter had stood out as a human for his physical attributes." I was interrupted by Emmett asking what I meant by that. "Somehow the group of humans had panicked. Normally that didn't happen as we kept them blissfully unaware of their fate to keep them controlled. In the panic I had to round up the humans that had started running off. Peter... amazingly enough somehow eluded me... briefly." Emmett looked shocked. "I know that sounds strange. It was only a micro-second but it was like his body movement shifted just enough to evade my grasp on him." I shook my head at the memory of a human dodging me. "I grabbed him instantly the next second but it stood out to me and I posed my theory to Maria that he may be gifted." The whole family was starring at me wide-eyed. It was always interesting to hear about special gifts of select vampires but it was even rarer for the signs to show themselves when they are still human.

"She agreed we should at least see if he would be of use so she turned him. I guided him through the first couple weeks of being a newborn, and I watched him closely. Eventually his gift presented itself. It's subtle but certainly there. He has an advanced ability to read his opponent. I've heard of others with advanced reflexes but it's a bit different for him. It's not speed, clairvoyance, or instinct based. He can read his opponent in such a way that he knows their weakness in a fight. Such as favoring their right, to slow on their feet, overly aggressive, tired. He looks at you and can see what your physical weakness is, even if you are unaware of it. It's difficult to explain but phenomenal to witness. _**DISAPPOINTED**_. I laughed at Emmett's feelings. "Like I said it's subtle but in a fight it's an invaluable skill. Trust me you don't want to face him in a fight." Emmett scoffed but didn't respond.

I went on to explain how Peter and I became friends and that he was a skilled warrior who acted as my second in command, essentially third in command of the army. "Things went well until 13 years later. I had gathered a group of humans to bring back and when Peter met up with me he acted strangely. I read lust and confusion from him and gathered that he had... noticed one of the human females."

"Human female?" _**AMUSEMENT, SURPRISE.**_ Emmett loudly scoffed at the idea. I shrugged. Who were we to judge another for such a thing. I was involved with Maria, a heartless power hungry monster for over a hundred years and he was with Rosalie... enough said. I glanced at Edward and he was fighting laughing, clearly having heard my thoughts. I fought a smile myself and continued. "I realized what the draw towards her could potentially mean and made sure she was spared from instant death and was turned instead."

Esme and Alice were both smiling at me, clearly seeing me as wonderful for doing that for my friend. I wasn't sure it was that great considering the choice I took her from. "Charlotte was not a particularly skilled fighter in the traditional sense. However no one can ever claim her to be predictable, she is impulsive but it works well for her. The more skilled you are the more you expect some sort of style in your opponent, but she really has none. She is very instinctual, much like a newborn, yet you can tell she is in control. She's also very fast giving her an edge."

"This would have been around the time you left the south?" Leave it to Carlisle to put two and two together.

"Yes. Her group came to the end of their first year and Maria didn't see any of them as being worth keeping. I was ordered to destroy them all." Esme flinched and Alice moved closer to me, grasping my hand gently. I glanced down at our hands for a moment before looking back to the family. "I went to Peter and I told him to take Charlotte and run. I knew they were mates but had kept it from Maria to keep Peter safe. No vampire would allow harm to befall their mate so if Maria had known she would have dispatched Peter immediately." I kept my expression cold but inside the memories burned.

-My final days in my homeland

-My final days with the army

-My final days with Maria

-My final days as what I was

The family seemed to sense that was the end of the topic at least for now. I was hoping the topic would fall on someone else and I could be the observer for awhile. This coven was interesting and I wanted to learn more about their lifestyle.

"Alice, how long has it been since you've hunted?" Even if I wasn't an empath I would be able to see what Carlisle was up to. It's not like she would need reminding to feed. It was the most natural thing in the world for our kind.

"A little less than two weeks." She shrugged and smiled at him, still keeping her hand in mine. I shifted back placing both my arms on the back of the couch. Where was he going with this? She looked back at me _**CONFUSION.**_ I smirked at her displeasure in me releasing her, but kept my eyes on the leader.

"Perhaps we should go for a hunt?" He asked her kindly but his eyes flashed to me momentarily. I tilted my head, appraising him before looking at Alice. She had her lips puckered and a confused frown on her face. She was far to cute for her own good. I shook my head at my thoughts and shifted my eyes to watch everyone's reactions. Esme looked almost resigned, Edward was smirking at his father, Emmett was shooting me a calculating look, and Rosalie was simply glaring.

"Didn't you just hunt, dad?" She was actually confused, her innocence shining through. He didn't want to go hunting. He either...

 **A)** Wanted to keep her from me

 **B)** Wanted to get me to go so he could observe me like an experiment

 **C)** Have a fatherly talk with me.

Neither B nor C would happen no matter his wishes, but I had little say over A. If Alice wanted to go with him I didn't have a claim to stop her. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat at the idea that he had more control over her than I did, or any control for that matter. It made me uneasy. It also made me uncomfortable that I was getting so possessive of her. I'd never felt like this before over anyone. I glanced over to Alice, hoping she would refuse to leave with him but at the same time hoping she would go so I could have time alone to sort through everything.

"I did, but I would prefer nobody hunts alone, given the surge of humans around right now." She shrugged her shoulders after thinking it through with an adorably pursed expression. "In fact..." Carlisle smiled around the room, glancing at everyone before his eyes landed on Edward, who I saw roll his eyes in response. "Edward hasn't hunted recently either. How about you two go together?"

*Is he trying to get me alone?* I looked to Edward as I thought the question as loudly as I could. Edward apparently lost his poker face on the whole situation and started laughing out loud. _**CONFUSED, SURPRISED, ANNOYED.**_ Everyone seemed quite surprised by Edwards reaction but didn't ask about it. Edward looked to me and subtly nodded his head. Well it looked like him and I had some sort of bond. I appreciated the heads up and was going to take my leave before dealing with any misguided 'I have a gun and a shovel' father talks. Edward snickered and I refocused on guarding my thoughts.

Apparently it was normal for the family to sort of see each-other off on hunting trips because everyone followed Edward and Alice outside, so I did as well. It was strange to watch her stand with another male. It was odd and it frankly was causing rage in me. She was just standing next to him while talking to her family and Edward was hugging Esme. There was nothing remotely wrong with their stance yet every part of me was flinching at any casual movement of hers away from me. I needed to get out of here for a little while. My purpose for staying was leaving so this was the perfect opportunity. "How long will you two be gone?" I was surprised at how cold my voice sounded, there was also very clear anger. _**CALM, FOCUS, PEACE.**_ I focused everything I had on calming myself down and in my efforts I was sure I was projecting more than I normally would at the family.

"Woah..." Emmett stood with his hands outstretched like he was fighting vertigo. He looked at me curiously. "What was that about?" I shrugged and pretended not to really notice what I'd just done. I kept my eyes expectantly on Alice, avoiding Edward as much as I could since his presence with her was enraging me further. She practically danced up to me and stood up on her toes, still unable to reach me, due to my height. She narrowed her eyes playfully and crooked her pointer finger, beckoning me to her height. I shook my head at this sweet girl but complied, leaning down till we were the same height. She reached up and kissed my cheek quickly before leaning back down.

"We wont go far. I want to meet your friends. She grabbed my hands and I watched as her eyes glazed over, a sign of a vision." She came out of it after about 5 seconds. "Tomorrow evening, late." She stepped away and I reluctantly let her hands go, noticing the whole family watching us. I nodded before turning to the rest of the Cullen's.

"I need to prepare for Peter and Charlotte's arrival so I will be leaving for a little while. I'll be back when Edward and Alice are." I didn't miss the clear disappointment in Emmett and Carlisle's expressions. I didn't let anyone question me on my choice either. I turned quickly to Alice, grasped her hand gently then kissed it before winking at her and taking off in the opposite direction her and Edward were going.

 _ **NOTHING.**_ I couldn't feel anything as I sat on the beach in Quileute lands. I had weighed the pros and cons of being here. I didn't want to test the wolves by coming here so quickly after our agreement but at the same time this was the closest place I could go that the Cullen's couldn't follow. I remembered yesterday, thinking that this feeling, nothing, was such a wonderful thing. I pictured it as peace in my mind and had for decades. Now I wondered how true that was. Maybe it was as simple as the word. It was nothing, not peace, just nothing.

I focused on all the issues and decided to start with the most pressing, the wolves. Probably a wise choice given that I'm currently sitting on their lands. 'Poking the _WOLF',_ as it were. I didn't know the whole story behind their clan. I knew they killed my kind for a living and were proud of that. I knew they had 3 members but were there more? If so, how many? If they got more numbers would they attack me unprovoked? The only answers I really had to the wolves was that I would fight if provoked.

If they were smart they would attack me when I didn't have the Cullen's nearby. They saw how the Cullen's stayed back during our altercation. They would assume there was no loyalty between our groups... well their group and me. My mind flashed to Alice. She had not been discreet in her attempt to help me. Edward had held her back at my request but did the wolves see it? Would they consider her a coven member of mine? Would they group her with me or with Carlisle? Despite my disturbing thoughts I smiled at the idea of Alice being considered mine in any capacity.

MINE. The word stuck in my mind. I had no answer to the wolf issue but my mind couldn't stay off the Alice situation. What was happening between us? Was it a reflection on loneliness on my part, curiosity on hers? She was inexperienced and according to the family hadn't met any vampire other than her family. She was young, innocent, naive. Was I simply interesting to her? Was she a soothing balm to me?

My own thoughts actually caused shocking emotions to erupt in myself. The idea that I could just be a passing fancy to her hurt. It hurt deeply. Then the idea that she could be so temporary to me pissed me off. I felt enraged. I jumped up from the beach I was sitting on and punched a large rock next to me with full force. My fist went through it and the rock shattered all around me.

I starred down at the rock in surprise. My emotions never got the better of me. I was the master of how to feel. What was wrong with me? What had happened to me since yesterday? I was a vampire. We don't just change in the blink of an eye. I sat back down and glanced at the sky noticing the sun slowly setting in the sky. I had been sitting on this beach for hours. Judging by the sky, it was about 6-7 in the evening. I didn't know how long I'd been mulling over everything but it was awhile. _**JOY, CURIOSITY, EXHAUSTION.**_

I looked over and saw a little girl heading in my direction. I closed off my sense of smell and watched her closely. She was about 10 and had long wavy black hair and pretty brown eyes. She saw me and waved. I smiled back then averted my eyes back to the ocean. I should probably leave but a sudden departure would draw more attention to the human child then me simply acting normal.

"Hi." I glanced over as she sat next to me. I watched her intently as she smiled sweetly.

"Hello, little lady." She giggled and despite her darker skin I could see a faint blush.

"You have a pretty voice." You had to love the innocence of children. I smiled at her.

"So do you." I was nothing if not a gentleman. I extended my hand to her. "Jasper Whitlock. You are?" She smiled before shaking my hand, firmly for a human child.

"Jamie Lahote." I smiled at her politely. She was watching me closely. _**CURIOUS, CONFUSED.**_ "Why are your eyes red?" You could always count on children to ask things no one else had the guts to.

"It's only temporary." How true that was. The last issue I hadn't even thought about. My diet. Now I have an innocent little human asking me about the tell tale signs of the past I'm leaving behind. I was running a bit low on air so I breathed in deeply. Her scent was sweet but fortunately having recently fed and slept gave me a tremendous amount of self control right now. She narrowed her eyes at me and I was briefly reminded of my tiny pixy trying to be fierce.

"That didn't answer my question." Feisty little thing.

"No I suppose it didn't. I apologize." I smiled kindly at her. "Why do you think they're red?" Maybe I could deflect her. I glanced around the beach not sensing any other humans around. She seemed far to young to be alone. Why wasn't someone watching her?

"I think it's because you're a vampire." I starred at her with a cool expression while inside my mind was blazing. Humans were not supposed to know of our existence. At the same time this was a tribe of people with shadow warriors that fought my kind. Maybe she was a part of the group.

"Where did you hear about vampires?" She shrugged and to my immense shock she reached forward and poked my hand.

"My brother and his friends talk about them sometimes. Your skin is really cold and hard." I smiled at her curiosity in-spite of my growing concern.

"Who is your brother?"

"Paul Lahote." I took another breath and caught a slightly familiar smell. Ahhh. Her brother was the wolf I had crippled. I felt slightly guilty being in the presence of his sister knowing how badly I'd hurt him, but I also knew from Carlisle that he would be perfectly fine.

"Your brother shouldn't speak of such things to a young lady." I didn't want to come off patronizing since women of all ages and species hated that, so I smiled playfully She smiled back but rolled her eyes.

"So, are you?" For some reason I felt no reason to lie to the girl.

"Yes, I am. I hope that doesn't frighten you." She looked at me confused.

"Why would I be afraid?" I looked at her in confusion now.

"Because of what I am?" It came off as a question.

"My mommy always told me that we are defined by who we are, not by what we are." She spoke with conviction and I smiled warmly at this little girl.

"Your mother sounds like a really smart woman." I thought about her innocence, so much like Alice's and worried about someone taking advantage of such a pure thing. "Do me a favor though Jamie. If you see any other vampires around, particularly if they have red eyes like mine or black, Avoid them okay. You don't need to be mean just stay away from them, okay?" I doubted my warning would help her if she was faced to face with either vampire type but it was better than nothing.

"What other eye color is there for a vampire?" My mind went straight to Alice's beautiful golden eyes. Warm and kind.

"Gold. Golden eyed vampires are far nicer then the other two." She nodded her head as she thought this through.

"What do all three colors mean?" I closed my eyes and looked back to the ocean.

"Black means the vampire is thirsty, gold means the vampire drinks animal blood. Red means they drink human blood." I waited for backlash but she was quiet.

"You drink human blood."

"Yes." My voice was very quiet now.

"Are you going to drink animal blood?" I looked to her in question. "You said nice vampires have golden eyes. You're nice... your eyes should be gold too." I just starred at this little girl in shock. I couldn't resist smiling at her as I nodded. Not sure exactly what I was nodding for but she smiled in response.

She talked to me about her friends and her family for a long while but eventually it got far darker and I wasn't comfortable with her being out here alone. I asked her about where her family was. She explained that her family was at the hospital taking care of her brother. She was supposed to be at a friends house but got bored and headed home. I kindly scolded her for being out alone and to her credit she looked abashed.

Deciding that it was not only my duty to ensure she got home safely out of basic manners it was also my responsibility seeing as how her brothers condition is my fault. I took her hand and escorted her to her home. She came willingly, talking the whole way. I listened to her, responding when prompted.

My mind thundered with this surreal experience. I'd had brief conversations with humans in passing but I've never spoken to one for hours like I had this little girl. I felt protective of her. I followed her into her home and found a pen and paper. I wrote down the number of the Cullen's home and told her if she needed anything to call and ask for me. They would know how to get a hold of me. She took it happily before waving me off.

As I stepped outside I looked up at the sky, pitch black now, and closed my eyes. I took off full speed into the forest and just ran, no destination in mind. I thought back on her words.

' _You said nice vampires have golden eyes. You're nice... your eyes should be gold too.'_

Could it be so simple? I knew it couldn't be but I also knew that I didn't care. I was used to struggling, fighting, hurting. Maybe this one time I could struggle for something I wanted, not what someone else did. I decided then and there I would try it. I wasn't even remotely thirsty but I had to try. I ran, not really knowing what I should do. When hunting humans you ran towards civilization. Animals would of course be the opposite as they feared man. I ran while keeping my ears tuned in. I heard the unmistakable sound of heartbeats and took a reluctant breath. It was certainly animal and it didn't smell even remotely good. I smiled realizing that I was okay with that.

I headed to the sound and found a few deer grazing. I jumped on the first one without hesitation. I didn't want to overthink this. I wanted to succeed. I needed to succeed. I drank the animal while barely tasting it. I drained it dry before the taste caught up with me. It was weak, almost watered down. Human was a hundred times better but this wasn't completely awful. I had been expecting worse. The other two deer had taken off and for some reason I wasn't completely full. I gathered one of the drawbacks of animal blood was it was less filling.

 _ **PEACE.**_ This was peace. It truly was just nothing, oblivion I'd been feeling before. I didn't feel the animals emotions as I fed. I didn't feel a piece of me die with my victim. I didn't feel anger for what Maria had made me. I didn't feel lost in my own life. I felt at peace. I felt real. I shook my head at the tidal wave of peace that overtook me. I smiled then took off again determined to find another animal, my resolve hardening with each step I took.

I could do this

I would do this

I wanted to do this

For the first time...

I was me.

 **END NOTES:**

*********I loved writing this chapter so much. Sorry it took awhile. I did a lot of brainstorming trying to get it perfect. I'm sorry no Peter and Charlotte yet. Next chapter. Anyway... Anyone thinking that Jasper should have hunted the first time with Alice, let me explain. Jasper has been alone emotionally for over a century. He's used to solving his own problems. This was something he needed to do himself to prove that it was what **HE WANTED** not what anyone was pushing on him, even Alice. His whole life was about appeasing Maria. Bending his beliefs, instincts, feelings to what she wanted from him. He needed to do this himself, for himself.********And I'm so proud of him. Aren't you?*********

**********Anyone anticipate any fallout from Jasper being on the lands? Hmmmmm

Chapter (SONG) Title: "UNBREAKABLE" by Fireflight- The lyrics tell it all. It's a beautiful song. It's about people that have dragged you down and made you a shell of your true self. It's about how they can't face you once you've risen above to the real you, who's unbreakable.

 **REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** It gives me writing fuel. :-)


	10. STRONG enough

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **(PLEASE READ AUTHOR NOTES AND END NOTES)**_

 _ **Authors Notes:**_

*** Very long chapter

*** Peter and Charlotte.

*** More wolves

*** More Alice and Jasper. * **Wink** *

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 **Chapter#10: STRONG enough**

 **JPOV**

I fed from 1 more deer and a moose before I was done. I was increasingly glad I didn't let Carlisle observe me in this. I noticed how different the two different animals tasted and I was sure if he'd been there he would have asked me numerous questions about it.

As the initial excitement over my success faded I realized a few unfortunate things. The most important observation being the biggest problem. When I fed from humans, or human since I only needed 1, the thirst died to practically nothing. The little bit of thirst left would only really present itself if I was near humans, otherwise I felt satiated. The thirst was still present after feeding from the animals yet I also felt full so I knew I didn't need more. I supposed the only way to really describe it was unsatisfied, wanting. I couldn't help but wonder if this was due to an adjustment period for me or the more likely reason... the thirst would always be there.

The sensation was akin to what it felt like to be a newborn. Always thirsty, always ready for more. This was far weaker than that thankfully but the similarity was undeniable. I'd felt this constant thirst most of my life, surrounded by the newborns.

I shook those thoughts off before they took me somewhere I was unwilling to go. The next observation was regrettably how much weaker I felt. I supposed a big part of that was the fact that I wasn't fully satiated, causing a subconscious feeling of weakness. That was only a part of it though. Human blood made my kind stronger, that's why newborns were so powerful. They were full of human blood still, their own. Animal blood was a substitute to the real thing. Maybe it was like a human drinking artificial drinks instead of water, or taking vitamins in place of wholesome food.

The last real issue was the fact that my senses were slightly elevated, particularly my sense of smell. Again this was probably aided in the first issue of the constant thirst. My body was determined to search for blood, even when I was full. Since I wasn't full of human blood, my natural food source, would my body constantly want to search? I tried to take comfort in the idea that the heightened senses at least helped offset the physical weakness. I wondered if it was like this for the Cullen's as well. Did they feel the weakness after all their time the way they are? Rosalie and Alice had never even tasted human blood and Carlisle had only ever had enough to change his family. Perhaps they knew no difference as a result. Edward and Emmett had managed to abstain through the newborn faze and only faulted later. Did the fact that their first tastes of blood were animal affect how they handled thirst?

I thought about Esme's story. She fed from humans as a newborn. She was only weeks into this life. One of her earliest meals being human blood. Did that change things for her from the rest? Did she feel this sensation as I did? Was it more potent for me due to my past... my age? I have fed exclusively from humans for more than 130 years. All the Cullen's combined couldn't compete with that even if they lived for thousands of years with the occasional mistake.

After my hunts I'd found myself back on the beach, to the same place I had brought Alice. I was again lost in my thoughts. The sun was rising and my body tensed as the warmth spread throughout. Unlike the myths, vampires didn't burst into flame in the sun but it did elevate a few problems. Since we were essentially cold...venomed creatures, our bodies were alert when warmed so much, causing our strength, speed, and abilities to take more of a toll on us.

The sun also caused a bit of a problem with our appearance. If the sky was clear our skin glowed and shimmered. This made it difficult to keep true to the one and only real rule of our species, 'keep the secret'. There were ways around it of course. Stay out of direct sun, keep away from humans in general, and of course the source of our mythology... 'only come out at night'.

I glanced around to make sure no humans were around, to be safe. A breeze blew and I caught the scent of one of the wolves. I stood immediately and tensed my body unwittingly. Carlisle had informed me that the instinct to fight vampires was inbred in the wolves and judging by my responses apparently the sensation was mutual. I shook my head at the fact that Carlisle had formed a truce with these creatures for as long as he had, however tense it was. Maybe Carlisle has a special ability of his own. He resists human blood, he forms alliances with would be enemies, he tames groups of vampires to respect him despite differing personalities. I supposed his ability could be classified as extreme patience.

I heard a sound coming from the opposite side of the rocks blocking me. I took a whiff and still smelled the wolves but this was also distinctly human. My jaw tensed as my mouth filled with venom. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of sensation. I didn't normally smell human so intensely, as I tried my best to hunt them quickly without thought. I wasn't expecting human to be mixed with the wolf though so I was caught off guard. I closed off my sense of smell and opened my other senses. Whoever was there was too far to sense given that even their emotions were non-existent for me to read.

It was my Que to leave. I took off into the forest quickly and ran to the nearest store I could find. I needed clean clothes and a place to lay low while I stayed here. I kept a credit card on me at all times since it wasn't as destructible as cash. I bought a few things quickly before finding a hotel and booking a room for a week. I had no idea how long I was going to stay here but with Peter and Charlotte coming I needed a place away from the Cullen's. I wouldn't be comfortable staying with them as it was and I knew my friends would be even less okay with it. I chose a place that had a lot of vacancies. In greater part this was to aid in tempting them as little as possible, in case they chose to stay with me, but in truth it was also to fight my own temptation.

I was used to being in control of myself. My body, my emotions, my thoughts, but most importantly my instincts. I knew how every bit of me responded to thirst. I felt different now, I was so in-tuned that human scent was more potent to me than it had been for almost a hundred years, when I'd learned to suppress everything when feeding and just get it done.

I was taking a very long shower while I thought through how to handle all of this. I kept the water cold, in no mood to feel warmth at the moment. At least I wouldn't have to worry about complaints for using all the hot water. After I was done I dressed in the new clothes, conveniently all black to match my current mood. The clock in the room read one. I figured it would be a good idea to check how things were with the Cullen's. I didn't know how long Peter and Charlotte would be but punctuality wasn't their strong suit as they frequently got... distracted with each-other. I shivered slightly at some of the things I'd witnessed from my own coven and pushed passed it. One of the joys of being alone, away from mated pairs, was no witnessing things that a near perfect vampire memory couldn't forget. Sex being a big one as mated pairs were quite expressive with each other.

I made it to the Cullen home faster than I expected, lost in my own thoughts. Looking at the large home suddenly felt slightly daunting. I frowned at the realization. What was wrong with me? As soon as the silent question appeared, I thought of Alice. She wasn't here now and I hadn't been here without her, without her warmth and soothing presence.

 _ **NERVOUS, EXCITED, WORRIED, HAPPY.**_ I smirked being able to recognize the tone of the emotions as being Esme. The essential mother of the clan, worried about her family and anxious about new company. As I got closer I realized she was alone. My tension eased significantly as I approached the door. Should I knock? It didn't feel right to just walk in. I decided to be polite and knock. At a human speed, Esme answered the door. They were all so good at keeping the human illusion. She smiled brightly at me and if it was possible I would think it was where Alice got it. I smiled gently back. _**SURPRISE, HAPPINESS.**_ Was she surprised to see me? She had to have sensed me.

"Hello, Jasper." It shouldn't have shocked me when she hugged me, but it did. I let her but didn't respond much in return. I still wasn't comfortable with physical affection plus my survival instinct wasn't exactly eager to put my scent on another males mate.

"Esme. It's lovely to see you again." I sounded like we hadn't just seen each-other but I didn't know how else to respond. She waved me in and I followed as she closed the door and led me to the kitchen where she was making a large floral arrangement. I almost asked about what she was doing but decided to let it go. I sat across from her at the counter as she worked.

"Are your friends here yet?" She continued to smile happily and spoke to me like we were good friends... like she was actually happy to speak with me. I could tell by her emotions that she was genuine in her feelings. She truly was a beautiful person, happy and kind. I gave her as naturally true of a smile as I could. She was very pleasant to be around.

"No, they are not. They don't tend to be the most predictable in their movements." I looked around seeing three large arrangements already completed on the dinning table. One was all shades of yellow, one was purple, and the other was pink. The one she was currently working on had a lot of blues and greens. "Where is the rest of your co... family?" She smiled with an amused expression after my almost slip.

"Emmett and Rosalie... who knows." She smirked slightly to herself and I gathered I really didn't want to know details. The curse of being in a coven was if you wanted... time with your mate you had to do it at a distance. No pun intended. "Carlisle is at the hospital. He was supposed to be off, but they needed him." _**PRIDE, LOVE, LUST.**_ I could have done without the last bit but it was charming in a way to see how much he meant to her. I nodded as she continued to arrange. She seemed to sense my curiosity. "I make arrangements for the hospital, nursing home, and some of the shelters in Seattle." I starred at her blankly as I processed this strange but undeniably good family.

A quiet fell between us as she continued to arrange and I watched. For one reason or another it didn't feel awkward to stay silent with her. On my end that was most likely due to the fact that I had a lot on my mind. The peace and quiet time I had at the beach did not give me enough answers and it left me uneasy. In the span of 24 to 48 hours my world had shifted from the dull repetition of safety to the vast unknown. My species didn't do well with change and I'd been through more than most in my lifetime. Adventure wasn't particularly viewed by us as exciting, just dangerous.

I thought again about Esme's story, her past as a newborn. It was strange to think that someone so obviously gentle had one of the rougher pasts of her coven, involving thirst at least. "What is it?" _**WORRY, HESITANCE.**_ I hadn't realized that I had began to stare at her, thinking about her similarities to me or at the least, her differences from her family.

I didn't know what to say in response to her question. It wouldn't be right to ask her about something that would bring up memories I knew she didn't want to think about. At the same time it felt wrong to lie. I considered myself a fairly honest person, it was one of the few traits I was proud of. Above that though I didn't want to disrespect her. I watched her a moment longer and decided I would be honest but subtle. "I was curious about something, and I was hoping to ask you about it?" I knew my eyes were still red and most likely would be for awhile. I didn't feel like revealing that I had already hunted animals so I would keep my inquiries vague.

 _ **SURPRISE, JOY.**_ I looked at her curiously for her sense of joy. What was she happy about? "Of course Jasper. You can ask me anything." I frowned slightly at her degree of trust. Offering something so valuable so willingly was dangerous and I worried her innocence could get her harmed someday. There is nothing more powerful or damaging in this world than information and she was giving me a blank check, however unknowingly, to get that from her.

"I wanted to ask you something, something I believe you might have unique insight on." Her expression furrowed a bit at my response so I continued. "Your family, you each have your own drive, opinions, story both past and present. I wanted to know how thirst differs for each of you." I was expecting her to tense at my last words, despite working my best to warm her up to my questions. Instead she smiled gently at me, willing me to continue. "Carlisle has only had human blood to change your coven..." The word slipped out but I pressed on. "and that was only after a couple hundred years of resisting human blood completely. As a result of this, I can't imagine that human blood/scent/ presence can really affect him nor has it for a long time, perhaps forever." I didn't want to belittle his success with my words but I didn't know how else to word it. "I figure this is similar for Alice and Rosalie as they have never tasted human blood. Even with being so young this has to affect how they perceive humans, even subconsciously." She was listening intently to my words. I realized this was the most I'd spoken to someone in a long time. I was a man of few words, preferring to listen or communicate in my own way.

"Emmett had... set-backs." I hoped that didn't come off as insensitive. "With his age in combination of... surpassing the newborn stage without feeding from a human, does this change thirst for him? From how it is for Alice, Rosalie, Carlisle,... you?" I quickened my speed with this wording not wanting to upset her with her past. _**CALM, PEACE.**_ Without truly thinking about it I sent out waves to comfort her. I didn't want my curiosity to harm her in any way. My concern surprised me. It wasn't that I was naturally cruel, I was simply naturally cold and distance. She did tense a bit now but kept a gentle smile, forever the patient mother.

"Edward..." I noticed she stiffened and her expression became guarded. I opened up my empathy to read her completely and intensely. _**PROTECTIVE, LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, HOPE.**_ I would never say it out loud but it seemed clear to me that Edward was Esme's favorite child. At the least she had a bond with him separate from the rest, even her mate. The protective waves I got from her were as powerful as any mother that had birthed her child. She loved him unconditionally and was subconsciously ready to defend him from me, even over something as mild as my singular opinion of him. I wanted to know the reasoning's for the hope I sensed. What was she hoping for? What did she want for him? "...he made a choice to use his abilities, both vampiric and special to try to help humans while still, I suppose embracing is the best way to phrase it, what he is." She relaxed slightly at my wording but was still tense. "He fed from humans longer than the rest of you combined but did it for justice more than thirst, since he had already mastered resisting human blood. Does this affect how he sees humans?"

She seemed to acknowledge that my question was rhetorical. "And that just leaves one... me." She was quiet when she spoke and no longer wore a smile. She seemed abashed like I had scolded her and I felt bad for it. I certainly was in no position to judge her nor would I if I could. "You wonder if since I... fed from humans early, does it make resisting harder for me?" The word fed was practically whispered and she looked down and away from her arrangement. I stood from my chair and hesitantly walked around to her. If she was human she would be crying and I felt the need to comfort her. Not in my usual way but in a more humane, a more... human way. I reached her and she was still looking away from me. I drew comfort in the fact that she wasn't uncomfortable by my presence. I stroked her arm in what I hoped was a comforting manner. I didn't want to push any physical boundaries, hers or mine but this felt okay. She looked up at me and smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"The truth is I think the shame I felt after it happened helped. It made me feel human to regret killing two of them. My sadness and shame in a way save me from being something that I'm not." She looked up at me as I processed her words. I could see how such a thing could help, from a certain point of view. This wouldn't help me though. I didn't carry the burden of two lives such as Esme, that could be my drive. I held the burden of thousands with more than just a pulse fading ingrained in my mind. I also carried the weight of emotions, the feelings of terror, pleading, pain, regret, and loss that each victim had. My victims had felt a lot but I killed them anyway. If I used each of my hundreds of victims to fuel myself with shame... I couldn't even process what that would feel like.

I starred at her thinking about how truly monstrous I was for the first time in a long time. Would I ever be worthy of a peaceful existence? Would I ever be worthy of the friendship of this family? The care, that for some reason I already felt, of this woman? The... affection of someone as bright and beautiful as Alice? I gave her a short bow of the head, acknowledging her words while welcoming dropping the subject. I got my answers but I can't say they made me feel much better.

Esme changed the subject to lighter things flawlessly. She spoke of school starting and I again found myself feeling quite spun around with how different this family lived. Despite this feeling I was listening to every word she spoke quite intensely. What was it like to impersonate a human? To live in their world and not just pass them by?

"You know Jasper..." I had retaken my seat and Esme got a playful smile on her face as she spoke. I found myself narrowing my eyes playfully in response. "...you could pass as a junior or even a sophomore if you wanted to give high school a chance?" I raised a brow at her skeptically.

"I don't really think high school would suit me. I may be considered a bad influence on the innocent youth of forks." I rolled my eyes as she laughed.

 _ **HAPPINESS, JOY, HOPE, CONTENTMENT.**_ She smirked to herself and I knew she was contemplating something. "My children are enrolled... including Alice so at least you would have some friends." Despite vaguely mentioning all of them I knew she mentioned Alice by name strategically. "It would mean so much to her if you stayed for awhile and went as well." She watched me as she spoke but I was highly skilled at having a poker face. I shrugged but didn't respond verbally. Her smile dropped slightly at my casual dismissal. I felt a little bad thinking that she might believe I have little interest in pleasing Alice but I wasn't comfortable discussing her with anyone, let alone her mother.

Esme needed to deliver the arrangements to the hospital and despite my discomfort I offered to assist. I wasn't looking forward to going to a hospital full of weakened humans and blood but had a masochistic desire to see what it would be like there. She accepted my assistance and we made way to the hospital. I hadn't been in a car in awhile so it was odd being in one now, especially adding in my company. She kept it easy though, making simple conversation on the drive.

When we got to the hospital I closed off my sense of smell, in no mood to tempt myself. Esme didn't press me to talk so I gathered she knew what I was doing. We made our way to the Children's wing where she delivered the purple and yellow arrangements in a small room where the children were playing together. She stayed for awhile speaking with the kids, even hugging on them, being a typical mom. I stayed back not actively engaging anyone and luckily the children were all focused on Esme. After that we went to the maternity ward to drop off the other arrangements. Unfortunately I was forced to speak there and had to breathe. The scent was overwhelming. We were in a room with a few woman apparently in slow progression or just there for checkups. Each one of them smelled so much stronger than most humans. I had read that pregnant woman contain more blood in their bodies then other humans and that this got more pronounced the farther along they were.

We left quickly, thankfully, but Esme wanted to see Carlisle before heading back. I reluctantly went with, at her insistence, and needless to say it was awkward. Carlisle was very uncomfortable with me being alone with his mate and he was quite obvious in his discomfort. As soon as we went into his office he smiled warmly until he saw me. I had walked in behind her at a bit of a distance but it seemed not distant enough. He ran at full speed to her side and held her close. He kept flashing his eyes from her to me as she hugged him back warmly. _**WORRY, DISTRUST, PROTECTIVE, LOVE.**_ I pretended not to notice his territoriality as he continually rubbed her, held her, and kissed her. They spoke quietly and I gave them whatever privacy I could, distracting myself with his wall of awards and certifications.

I could tell Carlisle wanted a moment alone with her so I excused myself, under the pretense of needing to contact Peter. It was actually true since he and I hadn't arranged where we would meet up. I was still concerned about them coming here without an escort because I didn't know what to expect. I left the hospital and called Peter. He didn't answer which wasn't surprising given the situation. I had told them about the Quileute border but I couldn't shake the feeling that they wouldn't head my warning. Peter was a curious guy and Charlotte was always up for an adventure.

I did a patrol around forks, searching for their scents but got nothing. I would be able to pick up Peter's scent easily if he was nearby. I got the feeling that something bad was going to happen as I approached Quileute lands. One of the perks of being a vampire was the accelerated senses and that included instinct. Typically I followed these without wavering but I wanted to make sure they didn't approach the tribe's lands.

In all honesty I had no doubt that Charlotte and Peter could take on the wolves but I couldn't let that happen. Not only was I concerned for how the Cullen's would take such a thing but a part of me could see things from the packs point of view. My kind fed from humans, simple as that. Good or bad, right or wrong, fair or not, it was the truth. If I was in the wolves position I would be just as protective of my home.

That wasn't to say that I liked the wolves or even particularly respected them because I didn't. I could respect their supposed purpose but everything else was a different story. I could read people, even when I was human I had a knack for it. Gift or none, I could feel what a person was, in their core. I wasn't infallible, Maria was proof of that, but I could still read people. It was interpreting those feelings, trying to predict how far someone will go that was the problem. I knew from the start that Maria was power hungry, manipulative, sadistic and strong. I was simply young and naive and that blinded me to her intentions, among other things.

I caught a strong whiff of the wolves scent but not Peter and Charlotte. I also caught a very faint familiar smell. It was Jaime. I hesitated on what to do. I knew she was related to a wolf but I was concerned for her safety. I decided to follow the smells but was careful about it. The trail led me, not surprisingly, near her home. I could smell all three wolves now.

 _ **RAGE, TERROR, LOVE, CONCERN, WORRY, REGRET, PAIN.**_ The feelings hit me so hard I had to stop moving as I processed it all. I closed my eyes as I focused on calming myself. I had stopped on the beach near the forest where I had met Jaime. The feelings weren't lessening, they were intensifying. The amount of rage alone was like the onslaught of blood-lust that newborns radiated, but this was a bit stronger. Rage itself was stronger than blood-lust. The need to feed was simple instinct, rage was a deep seated emotion based on any number of other feelings, all magnified.

 _ **TRANQUILITY.**_ It was so difficult to tap into this emotion as I had never felt it myself without it being from someone else. It was an echo of something more real but I focused on it and rather than try to radiate it I just kept it around myself.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?!" My eyes snapped up and I was met face to face with the pack. Paul was in the front. In my efforts to suppress his second hand rage he had caught me off guard. They were a good distance from me but the words were clear. My eyes flashed to the other two and I saw Sam had his eyes intently trained on his brother while Jared had his trained on me. Paul was shaking so violently I thought his bones would crack.

I tilted my head as I kept my eyes trained on him. He was clearly angry about my time with his sister. Apparently their sense of smell was better than I'd thought if he could still pick up my scent on her or their home hours after I'd left. I opened up all my senses to read him. _**RAGE**_ was so forefront that I could barely read anything more but under the surface I could tell the rage was fueled by terror and love. He was worried for his sisters safety. More than reasonable. For this reason as well as the sake of his sister I would be patient with him. I chose not to respond as there was no answer I could give that wouldn't piss him off more.

My eyes went to Sam and I noticed Paul's shaking actually got worse when I did. _**PISSED.**_ Interesting, even doing nothing was making him worse. I frowned and looked back at him, measuring his bodies reaction. This species was so consumed by their own hatred and darkness that it truly stunned me how they could call my species monsters. At least we fed for survival. We weren't consumed by rage like these spirit warriors were.

"What were you doing here yesterday?" Sam sounded controlled but he was straining to maintain it. My eyes darted back to him and I saw small shakes coming from him as well. Jared was somewhere in the middle of the other two. He was less along in the body quakes than Paul but more so than Sam.

"I needed some air so I spent a short time on the beach." I knew they wanted information about Jaime but I would let them ask in their own time, under the illusion that they were getting intel I wasn't aware I was volunteering. Information always put people at ease, even if that information was useless.

Sam nodded slowly, keeping his eyes flashing between myself and Paul. He began to walk forward, towards where I was leaning casually against a tree. I let him get to a more conversational distance. The other two let him take point but stayed close. Many wouldn't allow someone so obviously out of control to get closer but I wasn't worried for my safety. Rage made people stronger but it also made them sloppy. I had defeated him before with him being simply angry, rage would be even easier.

"Why is your scent in Paul's home?" I glanced at Paul and saw his eyes narrow and jaw clench. Interesting, he didn't know about Jaime. How to explain my presence in his home? If I revealed the truth he would undoubtedly attack me. If I didn't he would probably assume something worse than the truth. My immediate solution was to lie but I drew a blank on anything that would help. I starred at Paul for a moment before diverting my gaze back to Sam.

"Restrain him and I will answer." I smiled back at Paul gently. _**CALM.**_ Even if I had him completely relaxed, which was impossible at the moment, that would nullify once I told the truth. I didn't really see any other option though so I had to try. Even a small amount of calmness could help. I hesitated thinking of the right words to use. I was a man of my word and if anyone attacks me I will retaliate. I was a fairly peaceful person, considering my past but I was still a warrior, and warriors fight.

Sam glanced between me and Paul. It was obvious he agreed that Paul was out of control but he didn't like the idea of restraining him. Maybe because it was MY request or perhaps it was because he didn't like weakening his partner near an enemy. I kept my eyes on the leader, keeping my calm as I waited for him to comply.

 _"My word is my bond. I will not initiate any attack against your tribe. However that does not mean that I will take an attack lying down. I will defend myself. Consider this your one and only warning not to try my patience. Next attack, you will lose one of your brothers maybe both."_ I relayed the vow I'd made when I had Paul at my mercy before. I didn't want to harm him again... or worse kill him but I had been honest in every word I spoke.

Sam nodded and gave Jared a look before they both held Paul tightly. I doubted that would help when he shifted into a wolf but I hoped it would. "I was on the beach and I was approached by a human." All three of their eyes bore into me.

"None of our people would approach you willingly. They know the legends." Jared spoke pompously while Paul continued to shake through his tension.

I ignored him and kept my gaze on Sam. "It was late and she was young so I walked her home to ensure her safety." Sam's eyes widened and I gathered he'd figured it out. His eyes went to Paul and he tightened his grasp significantly. Paul was clearly oblivious as he looked at Sam in surprise and confusion. Jared's eyes flashed between the three of us and I saw dawning cross his face. _**FEAR, CONCERN.**_ My eyes met Paul's where I let them linger. I knew he would figure it out and I wasn't going to drop my guard until then.

 _ **RAGE, HATRED, LOATHING, HELPLESSNESS, REGRET.**_ He was feeling more but it was lost underneath the rage. Quick as a flash he exploded into a wolf and charged me. Somehow he seemed to catch the other two off guard as they flew backwards. I dodged his attack but he kept coming. I continuously dodged his attacks but would have to attack soon to defend myself.

 _ **STRENGTH, POWER, DOMINATION, HELPLESSNESS, SUBMISSION.**_ As quickly as his attacks started he fell to the ground powerless. I tilted my head at his cowered form before I looked back to the other two. They were both in wolf form and Sam had all his fur bristled and Jared and Paul were on the ground. Sam was in the same place he'd been after being thrown but Jared was in-between him and me. I realized that Jared had meant to attack me as well but Sam was stopping the two of them. I could tell by how he focused on them that he was doing something to keep them down.

I was about to speak when I smelt something very familiar, and they were approaching fast. I turned in time to catch Peter and Charlotte burst through the trees and charge the wolves. SHIT, things just got so very bad. Peter ran forward and grabbed Jared and Charlotte had Paul. They worked so well as a team that I barely had time to process what they were doing.

"STOP!" Peter and Charlotte came to my side immediately. This was always our strategy when we were together. Whenever there was hesitation, doubt, or issue in a fight we always collected together before stopping our actions. They brought the two wolves with them, each having a firm grasp around their necks. Without hesitation I grabbed the wolves from my friends and they released them to me. I then threw the wolves towards Sam firmly but as gentle as I could.

Sam ran to his pack mates and I grimaced when I noticed Peter had caused significant damage to Jared. Not as bad as I had caused Paul before, since Jared was conscious but he had a deep gash in his throat and was wheezing. Sam's eyes blazed to my friends then me.

"These are very old friends of mine. They were only trying to defend me. You agreed to those terms and should be grateful your brothers were spared." Sam nodded but kept his eyes on us.

"Hmmm, seems we missed something sugar?" Peter laughed as he spoke to Charlotte and she shrugged as she smiled at him then me.

"What seems to be the problem here, general?" Peter spoke through suppressed laughter and Charlotte just smirked. I gave Peter a look of annoyance. "Uh-oh." He leaned towards Charlotte, standing on my right side, he was on my left. He held his hand over his mouth like he was trying to whisper a secret to her. Of course I could hear fine but this was how the two were."Dad's mad." She nodded with widened eyes, playing the part of the scared sibling.

I ignored them as I addressed Sam. "This is Peter and Charlotte. Peter... Charlotte, this is Sam the Alpha of the pack and Jared and Paul." I gestured to each wolf. All three were standing now and looked warily at Peter and Charlotte. "They will refrain from hunting humans as long as they are in the area and for the time being will avoid your lands." I added in the last bit to ease the tension between us right now. All three did visibly relax as a result. Without further words I turned and ran, feeling the two following me. They were always good at following my lead, and not arguing in the face of an enemy.

We ran a bit of ways, deep into Cullen's turf, but far from their home. We all stopped running and as soon as I turned Peter gave me a hug followed by Charlotte. They weren't as physical as the Cullen's were with their affections but they did touch occasionally. "We've missed you, brother." I smiled at him as they released me. I had missed them too.

"It's good to see you both as well."

Charlotte sighed while shaking her head. "Always so polite. How's a girl to resist such a gentleman." She laughed as Peter rolled his eyes. Her words brought up an image of Alice and I quickly squashed away the thoughts. A part of me ridiculously wanting to keep her safe and all to myself.

Peter shrugged off her veiled flirtations as he always did. He was the only vampire I'd ever heard of that didn't get jealous of his mate. Granted that was only when she flirted with males. In reverse situations where males came onto her all bets were off. Charlotte was petite, playful, and fun. All these traits plus others aided in other single males noticing. I'd witnessed Peter take on a threat once or twice as a result. Still somehow she was always annoyed that he didn't get jealous... enough. Apparently to her jealousy was a good thing.

"What was that we saved you from back there?" Peter smirked knowing I would object to such a statement. One of my many faults was my sense of pride. I wasn't rude about it but I certainly didn't like the idea of needing anyone. I only liked depending on myself.

"You... walked... in...on..." I said each word slowly to accent the correction in his terminology. "... a misunderstanding between the pack and me."

"Quarrel among friends? That's what you're going with?" Charlotte gave me her standard smirk accompanied with what is often referred to as a 'bitch brow'.

"We are hardly friends. That's even more the case now." I frowned pointedly at both of them as I spoke. "However this land is their home so I made peace with them."

"Peace?" Peter gave me a calculating look. "Are you implying that you have an agreement with them?" _**SURPRISE, DOUBT, CONFUSION.**_ I nodded slowly. "Why would you give into any demands they have at all? We took them on easily. If you want we can help you take them all out before we go?"

I realized from a certain point of view his words were quite barbaric. Willing to just do away with an inconvenient person rather than compromise. I knew he didn't mean to come off so cruel and I didn't see his words that way myself, but I was recognizing things I normally wouldn't. I saw different viewpoints. He meant to be supportive in his own vampiric way and I understood. We grew up in this life, in a world of take and take some more. He saw me wanting the land, whether he cared for it or not, and wanted to help me take it. How to explain this 'treaty' to him?

"The wolves are much stronger than you think. The two you fought were currently under the submissive influence of the leader." They looked at me confused. "The black wolf, Sam, has some sort of ability to bend the others to his will if the need arises. I can assure you if that hadn't been the case they would have fought back well."

Peter laughed darkly at that. "Thank God Maria didn't have that ability." I fought the urge to shiver at the idea she could do something similar. "He doesn't abuse it, that I can be sure of. I gather it's a necessary ability given the species tendency towards rage." I explained about how the wolves are fueled by their instinct to fight our kind and that they were an angry species to begin with.

"So what did you do to piss the wolves off so much that the leader was forced to restrain them?" Peter was still a bit confused about what they had walked in on. I didn't even fully understand it myself. Don't get me wrong, if I had been Sam I would have done the very same thing to defend my team from their own emotions getting them killed. What surprised me was Sam's cool head. Jared had gone to attack me with almost the same singular focus Paul had, but Sam didn't. I gathered part of being Alpha was more control or perhaps Sam was just very good at it.

"Yesterday I was forced to enter one of the wolves homes while he was away, not that he would have allowed me to if he'd been there. The wolves only tolerated a treaty with me to survive. They like me even less than they like the Cullen's."

"Hmmm. We'll get back to all of that... believe me. But why were you in his home? Judging by the stench of the dogs it's as much our instinct to avoid or fight them as it is theirs to fight us."

"I had ran into his sister and escorted her home." I had no idea how he would take this.

"Sister?" Charlotte was smiling at me through narrowed eyes. "Shall we call you Romeo now? Wolf and vampire?" I shook my head.

"She's a child, I was simply worried for her safety, and as far as I know she isn't a wolf." They both nodded at that. My friends weren't monsters, none of us would harm a child... certainly not purposely. "Anyway he picked up my scent when he got home from the hospital today." I realized immediately I shouldn't have said that.

"Hospital? Why was he there?"

"When I first met the wolves, with the Cullen's present, the wolves attacked me."  
"Yet they live?" _**CONFUSION, CONCERN, HESITANCE.**_ He knew I was quite passive by most vampire standards but he also knew I was an efficient fighter that killed quickly and without hesitation when attacked. This was an important mentality to adopt as I spent most of my life around dozens of newborns at any given time. Mercy towards one that attacked me would have left me looking weak, among far greater numbers than I could survive fighting. Such a thing would have gotten me killed very quickly. They had respected me for my skill, leadership, but above all my strength and power.

"Yes." My word was simple as I watched him. I was curious as to his interpretation of what that meant.

"Did they overpower you?" _**DOUBT.**_ I chuckled at that and he relaxed, clearly afraid he would offend me. Part of me sometimes thought that Peter still saw me as his master in some way, as I had been when he was a newborn. I had controlled every aspect of his life while I trained him and vampires tended to get stuck with things the way they were, including how we saw others.

"No, I took all three down using Paul as leverage when I injured him pretty extremely."

"Leverage?" They both spoke at the same time.

"Yes, let's say the agreement they have with the Cullen's is very one-sided, in the wolves favor. I wished for no such bargain."

"You...compromised then?" _**DOUBT, CONFUSION.**_

I narrowed my eyes. "No, I gave them only what I was planning to give as a courtesy to begin with. My leverage of Paul simply forced them to agree to my terms, without argument." That wasn't strictly true. Of course due to my proximity with the Cullen's I wasn't going to hunt humans on their land, even if they hadn't asked me for such a courtesy. However agreeing to give it up entirely wasn't my original plan. That agreement was an impulsive decision I made in order to please, but it certainly wasn't for the sake of the wolves.

"What do you mean without argument?" Now Charlotte was confused. I was just glad they didn't pick up on the pitch of my words when I said I was giving something. I was certainly giving something up, the biggest thing a vampire could, and I didn't know how they would respond when they found out. "You had already won the fight, to the victor goes the spoils... as it were."

"Out of respect for the Cullen's and their lifestyle I elected to make peace, however tenuous, with the wolves. Besides a small part of me can see their point of view. They defend their people... humans... from beings that feed from them. You can't deny that if you both were in their place you would behave similarly." They gave my words some thought before shrugging. Typical, they didn't concern themselves much with the what-ifs. That was always my job in our group. I was the strategist and voice of reason. Charlotte was the fun-loving rebel that kept things easy, essentially our comic relief. Peter was the doer, whatever needed to be done, he did.

"Well I for one can't wait to meet these Cullen's. If they have earned your respect already then they must be truly incredible." Charlotte stood on her toes to kiss my cheek and then gave me a silly face with a wink. I rolled my eyes but smiled at her humorous ways.

"Words right out of my mouth sweetheart." She leaned casually against him, her back to his chest while he wrapped his arms around her shoulders affectionately. _**LUST.**_ Typically this one emotion could bring out the worst in my own emotions but for some reason or another I felt fine. My smile didn't even falter as they stood in front of me.

"So... tell us about your new friends?" Charlotte smiled brightly and I began to explain about the coven of six. They were surprised about the size. Vampires rarely stayed in groups that large. It came amazingly easy to talk about the family _._ I spoke of Carlisle the most, since he was the leader and the one that had started the families unique lifestyle. I touched very briefly on Esme, not revealing much as I was feeling very protective of her. I explained that Edward was second in command of the family and was telepathic. I told them all about Emmett and how I thought they would get along best with him as he seemed to be the fun one of the group. I then explained that Rosalie was best left ignored and Charlotte laughed hard when I gave a brief explanation of our little tiff. I saw a calculating look in Charlotte's eyes and felt _**MISCHIEF**_ radiate off her in waves. I figured she was up to something but if it involved Rosalie I wouldn't object. Frankly I'd help if I could. Perhaps I'd warn Edward to keep an eye on Charlotte to make sure her plans wouldn't go to far.

"And the last member? You said there were 6." I had hoped they wouldn't really notice but of course they had. I was a master at keeping a poker face and I used that skill now. As protective as I felt towards Esme I felt that infinitely more for Alice.

"Alice is the youngest member of the coven. She is only 5 years into this life."

"Wow, a baby vamp. They are so much fun. Not the uncontrollable savages we all are as newborns but not the emotional messes the ancient ones are. I think I will have fun with her." _**AMUSEMENT.**_ I turned around, under the pretense of taking in my surroundings, but in truth I was hiding my facial expression. I was sure I looked pissed by Charlotte's words. I knew she meant the words literally. She would want to 'hang out' with Alice, even befriend her. She was a fun loving type and loved to be around others that were the same way. Honestly I could see the two of them getting along, but I still couldn't shake the instinct to keep Alice to myself.

"Careful, sweetheart. Your flirtatious ways could cause a problem. Personally I would love to watch you flirt with the young female vamp, but her mate may feel otherwise."

 _ **ANGER, WORRY, CONFUSION, DOUBT.**_ I spun around in shock at Peter's words. Peter's eyes widened at whatever expression I wore. "What are you talking about?!" Peter frowned while watching me carefully. He shifted Charlotte behind himself, seemingly without much thought to do so. I realized I was radiating the anger far more than I should at his words. His instinct was kicking in to protect his mate above all else, even conscious thought. I couldn't even get past the cloud building in my mind due to the anger his words caused. I didn't like the implication that he had read something like that from me. I didn't want him to know of my affections for Alice or what those affections could mean.

"You said the coven was a group of 6. 3 males and 3 females. Alice is mated to Edward, right?"

"No. Neither is mated." I left it at that. I changed the subject quickly to the fact that the family was only 4 at the moment as Alice and Edward were away hunting. I also mentioned that Esme was currently home alone so we should wait till at least the other three got back before going. I disguised my intentions as only wanting to do the introductions once, while truthfully I just didn't want to make Esme feel scared, being outnumbered.

"I want to meet this Esme. This could be our only chance to talk to her alone. Let's go now." Charlotte, forever the impulsive one, practically begged.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. The coven may not appreciate their matriarch being... corned by unfamiliar vampires." I decided on honesty since they would understand that.

"Does Esme trust you?" Everything was so simple to Charlotte. I both missed that about her and hated it. I suppose Esme did trust me as she was okay with being alone with me earlier, but that didn't mean she would feel the same with my friends.

"How about you go tell Esme we're here and if she's comfortable with having us, we'll meet her now, if not you can come get us and the three of us can sight-see until the rest of her coven gets home?" Peter's words sounded reasonable. I agreed and we took off for the Cullen's home.

As soon as it was in sight they halted as I continued and approached the door. I raised my hand to knock, but the door opened before I did, revealing Alice. I looked at her in confusion, but before I could really compute that she was here, she was hugging me tightly before pulling away to speak. "I saw you coming." She was clearly interpreting my confusion as wondering why she knew to open the door.

My arms were around her shoulders before I realized what I was doing. I looked behind her into the house and noticed everyone else was gone. I figured Esme was still at the hospital and I had no idea where the other three were. I looked at Alice's face. I was nearly knocked down by her eyes. They were a vivid bright gold now, warm and beautiful just like her. Her beautiful smile was present and I smiled in response realizing how much I'd missed such a small thing. I lifted her up to me, her feet off the ground so that I could hug her properly. I don't think I'd ever initiated a hug before. I had picked her up in the forest when we were to meet the wolves but she had hugged me first. This time I hugged her. I brought her head to my shoulder and held her tightly. She wrapped her arms around my neck this time, her small hands going to my hair where she tugged gently. She was always so gentle. Yet another thing I realized I loved about her.

"I missed you, darlin." The words came out so quiet and I didn't know why. _**ELATION, AFFECTION, EAGERNESS.**_ She buried her face into my neck and gave me a very small kiss. _**LUST.**_ As soon as her lips touched me, I was lit up. The lust was powerful, but I couldn't blame it on her. This was all mine. I wanted her, and I wanted her badly.

"I missed you more." Her words were even softer than mine. Her breath tickled my neck when she spoke and I pulled her head back as gently as I could before I kissed her. A war raged in me as soon as our lips touched. My body wanted to kiss her rougher, in a claiming way. The rest of me however; mind, heart, soul all wanted to cherish her. I went with the rest of me. I kissed her gently and she reciprocated just as gently. Her fingers played with my hair while one of my hands held her head and the other held her up at her lower back. Her legs dangled and I smirked internally at how cute my little pixy was. Most in her position would have wrapped their legs around my waist, and it goes without saying that something like that is very sexual. This wasn't sexual to her. She missed me and cared for me, simple as that. My affections grew for her knowing there was more to this for her than something physical.

We retreated into the house and I sat on the couch with her perched on my lap. She admitted that she lied to me about her return time because she wanted to surprise me. I laughed at her slightly ashamed expression that would fool no one, least of all an empath. Her feelings were full of _**MERRYMENT**_ not regret. We spoke for a few moments before my senses caught up with me. If I didn't go meet up with Peter and Charlotte they would come here. Part of me was uneasy at Alice not having her family here with her to meet them, but at the same time she had me to protect her. I was bombarded with guilt, thinking of my old coven this way but I couldn't help it. My whole body screamed that Alice's safety came first.

I told her that they were here and that if she wasn't comfortable meeting them alone I could take them away until her family returned. She grasped me slightly tighter and shook her head while smiling just as bright as always. "I want to meet them. If you trust them, so do I." I starred into her eyes and stroked her face while watching her eyes. It occurred to me that her scent would be all over me now and mine would be on her. I took pride in my scent being on her, despite not wanting to admit that, but I also knew it would cause questions. The Cullen's would probably expect such a thing but Peter and Charlotte would be caught off guard. Truthfully I wasn't ready to discuss this with anyone, especially them as they knew me well. They knew I didn't touch easily and they knew I was certainly not the affectionate type. I wouldn't be able to disguise it as a casual hug or something else equally innocent.

"When will they be here?" _**EXCITEMENT, HAPPINESS.**_ She was jumping in my lap while watching me and I chuckled.

"I'm not sure darlin, whenever they get bored." She nodded and made that cute face she had done before where she pursed her lips slightly to one side while furrowing her brow in concentration. Again I acted without thought. I cradled her face and brought her to me as I kissed her again. I couldn't seem to stop myself. I had looked forward slightly to time apart so I could think about what this was between us, but now I didn't think I could be away from her at all. She giggled and pushed me away playfully, averting her face in mock disinterest. This action exposed her neck to me and I playfully bit her, of course not leaving a mark. She looked at me wide eyed while her mouth dropped in shock.

"Never expose your neck to a vampire, sunshine." I winked and she laughed. She hopped off my lap and said she wanted to take a shower to 'look presentable' for my friends. I wanted to roll my eyes at that. They were drifters that wore jeans and t-shirts, both of which had holes due to running around. I didn't stop her as she went upstairs though. She wanted to make a good impression to some of the first vampires she would ever meet and truthfully this solved the problem of my scent on her.

As soon as she was gone I found the sink in the kitchen and regrettably washed as much of Alice's scent off me that I could. I felt bad doing it, but I had enough to deal with, involving my old coven, the new strain against the wolves, the Cullen's, the new diet, my revelation to them about my new diet, how to sort through my feelings myself, dealing with the families protectiveness of Alice against me. The least I could do was put off Peter and Charlotte knowing about this as well.

After I was done I waited patiently in the living room until eventually the door bell rang followed by over-eager knocking. I opened the door to Charlotte about to pound some more. She gave me a mock military salute. "Permission to enter, sir?" I placated her, saluting back properly and stepping aside to allow them entrance. We sat down and I was about to explain that only Alice was here but I heard a door close upstairs. All three of our eyes went to the staircase and Alice came into view. She wore a knee length skirt in a pale yellow color that faded into a pale pink color. Her top was the same pale pink and was sleeveless. The neckline draped low on her chest exposing her neck and a bright pink charm necklace. Her shoes where very tall wedges in yellow to match her skirt. Her face was bright as she looked at all of us. I was glad their eyes were on her and not me as I wouldn't be able to hide my expression right now. She was beautiful, sexy, cute, perfect. I felt my eyes widened as I took her in and I couldn't stop starring at her. She reached the bottom of the stairs and waved eagerly. _**EXCITED, HAPPY, NERVOUS.**_ We all rose from our seats as she approached. "Hi." She sounded timid and I realized she was standing alone as the three of us were standing together across from her. She wasn't used to other vampires, let alone human blood drinkers, I knew she was nervous, because who wouldn't be? I walked quickly to her side and placed my hand politely on her lower back. "Peter, Charlotte, this is Alice. Alice, this is Peter and Charlotte, dear friends of mine. I gave no title of what Alice was to me like I did for them, because there were no words for it.

"Well aren't you a pretty little thing." Charlotte reached her hand forward and Alice reached to take it. I stepped forward slightly as she did, keeping myself close to her. I still hadn't dropped physical contact. I smiled at Charlotte kindly when her eyes met mine. Peter held his hand out next and I tensed slightly at his appraising look.

"Well, well. What big gold eyes you have." We all chuckled at his goldilocks reference. "They are beautiful though." He winked at her and without meaning to I let lose a very low but very obvious growl. Peter's eyes flashed to me then to Alice then back to me.

Well SHIT

 **END NOTES:**

*** Uh-oh, there goes Jasper's attempt to hide things. Or will he be able to get out of this?

*** Jasper's getting more openly affectionate with Alice as well as more territorial... hence the growl. Lol

Chapter (SONG) Title: "STRONG enough" by Sheryl Crow- Such a great song. Technically its about a woman with heavy baggage that needs a man strong enough to get past it. However if you look at it from my point of view its perfect. Alice's 'baggage' is her innocence, her vegetarianism. Is Jasper strong enough to turn away from everything else for her 'baggage', to take it as his own? Is he strong enough to change for her? All the lyrics work from a different point of view. If you've never heard it. Give it a listen, it's beautiful.

 **REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** It gives me writing fuel. :-)


	11. GOOD as Hell

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 **WOW.** **I've gotten so much response lately and I thank you all for the support. All the followers, favorites, and reviews really make my day. I've enjoyed everyone of my reviews and followers from my first one within just hours of posting my story (Thank-you 'Girl who writes') to my latest review (Thank-you 'PrescottDane'). Sadly not everyone reviewing is a full member so I'm not able to respond to your reviews. I respond to every single one I can so please become a full member so that I can thank you personally for the support. FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME AS WELL. :-)**

 _ **PLEASE READ: Authors Notes (What to expect this chapter):**_

This chapter will start a little heavy but will get light and fun fast. ENJOY

****Jasper reassures Alice (I'm not the best at writing sappy stuff but will do the best I can.)

****Peter and Charlotte dishing on Jasper's dirt. ;-)

****Jasper gets protective and seriously annoyed

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 **Chapter#11: GOOD as Hell**

 **JPOV**

 **PREVIOUSLY IN CHAPTER#10**

 _"Well aren't you a pretty little thing." Charlotte reached her hand forward and Alice reached to take it. I stepped forward slightly as she did, keeping myself close to her. I still hadn't dropped physical contact. I smiled at Charlotte kindly when her eyes met mine. Peter held his hand out next and I tensed slightly at his appraising look._

 _"Well, well. What big gold eyes you have." We all chuckled at his goldilocks reference. "They are beautiful though." He winked at her and without meaning to I let lose a very low but very obvious growl. Peter's eyes flashed to me then to Alice then back to me._

 _SHIT_

 **AND NOW...**

A wide grin spread on Peter's face but I kept my posture normal, not wanting to make things worse. In general I wasn't a territorial man. I was fairly laid back and didn't feel the need to 'mark my territory', as it were. That changed when I developed my feelings for Alice though. In the century I was with Maria, even at the highest point of our relationship, I had never felt the need to mark her as mine. Don't get me wrong, I didn't like it when males appraised her appreciatively, but it didn't envoke a need to shield her from them. With Alice, any male, even a claimed male, just looking at her pissed me off. I saw Alice look up at me out of the corner of my eye. _**CURIOSITY, WORRY, EXCITEMENT, INTRIGUE.**_ I fought the urge to look at her, touch her, or comfort her. I didn't need any further evidence of our relationship. I looked to Charlotte and she was smiling widely, to match her mates grin.

"Have you been...tamed, Whitlock?" His implications were quite clear but I kept my face stone cold as I starred him down. He shook his head like he was coming out of quite the daze. He looked to Alice before giving her a small head bow. "You must be quite the woman, Alice."

"Treat the lady with respect, Peter." I didn't miss his smirk as his eyes continuously flashed between Alice and myself. I looked down at Alice now, unable to curb my concern for her. Her eyes were wide as she looked between us all. She shifted herself slightly away from me and I felt my body cringe at the distance, since it inadvertently put her a small step closer to Peter.

I tried to shake off this irrational jealousy. Yes, there was no denying that I was in fact jealous and possessive of her. She rubbed my arm softly and repeatedly for in a very familiar and casual way that I secretly loved. "It's okay Jasper, I didn't take offense." My eyes went to them and both their eyes were trained on Alice's hand touching me. I was instantly regretful of how obvious I've been for most of my life involving my discomfort of physical touch. There was nothing intimate about her touch, at least to an outsider, but it stood out to them like a neon sign, because I was allowing it.

I nodded with a clenched jaw, keeping my eyes on my former coven. _**FOCUS, TERRITORIALITY.**_ I gave a concentrated insight into my feelings to the two while avoiding Alice with the projection. They would know that this wasn't humorous to me. Peter had always said I was never more serious or terrifying than when I was focused. Right now all I could think about was keeping Alice safe and that meant keeping our bond to ourselves.

"Tell me all about yourselves." Alice's smile was back and I couldn't help but soften at it. She grabbed my hand easily and led us to the small couch, while gesturing for them to sit anywhere. I sat down immediately and she sat next to me, at a respectable distance. I didn't know if her distance was because she wanted it, if she thought I did, or if she didn't want scrutiny. I fought the urge to pull her closer to me so that we could touch, even innocently. I just craved her and wanted her close.

"I'm sure the General has given you most of the details." Peter smiled kindly from the chair I normally sat in, Charlotte was on his lap. _**HESITANCE.**_ Clearly I'd gotten my point across to Peter. I would feel triumphant except I knew it wouldn't last. He would find a way to bring the subject up again. If nothing else Charlotte was likely to just blurt it out to keep things interesting.

Alice laughed her wind-chime laugh while waving off his words "I want to hear it from you." She sat with her legs under herself and her hands intertwined on her lap. The whole thing made her look even smaller than she was and I was really fighting the urge to hold her now. I loved how small and soft she was all the time... perfect and innocent. She was so beautiful in her vulnerability but despite that beauty, I also hated it. I wanted her safe and that meant I needed to be beside her to protect her. She looked to me and smiled sweetly with her sparkling eyes trained intently on me. "Jasper is such a quiet type. I imagine the two of you have some great stories about our favorite empath."

I looked at her through narrowed eyes though I had to fight a smile. She saw my expression and responded by simply sticking her tongue out at me before smiling hugely and diverting her attention away to them. I rolled my eyes and looked to the other two as well

Charlotte was fighting laughing at me but her eyes were warm. _**HAPPINESS.**_ It was directed at me and it was easy to see that she was happy for me. I looked at Peter next and all I could really make out from him was _**SHOCK.**_ His emotions, his eyes, his posture it all screamed surprise. I wasn't acting that different was I? I took in that my posture was more relaxed than usual, though I was still hesitant of the space between Alice and me. I was smiling, it was small but there, and to be honest I was simply happier than I usually was. Peter was noticing all of this.

"Well I can give you all the dirt." Charlotte winked at Alice then me before training her attention to Alice alone. "However we already know all about Jasper. I want to hear about you." She waved her hands in a grand gesture towards Alice. "The petite little golden-eyed baby vampire. What's your story? What makes you so very special?" Charlotte's words were kind and genuine.

Alice laughed at the well meaning title and I smiled wider at the sound before taking a more reserved expression. "Well I don't know how special I am but I can tell you about myself." I looked at Alice in surprise. How did she not know how special she was?

"Trust me, little one. You are quite special." Peter spoke now as his eyes were trained on me, though I tried to ignore him. "I've never seen the general taken with someone so quickly... or at all for that matter." He smiled kindly as his gaze shifted to her. She averted her eyes down but I saw a small smile.

I leaned over and gently lifted her chin until she looked at me. "Are you alright darlin?" I knew they were watching but I couldn't bring myself to care enough to avoid touching her. I wanted to know she was okay and wasn't uncomfortable. She nodded and I dropped my hand before resuming my prior position like nothing had happened.

"Wow!" Charlotte's eyes were wide as she starred at me, blinking a few times. She laughed and was shaking her head as she watched Alice in amazement. She was acting like she'd seen the ninth world wonder. "Trust me, you are very special. Jasper barely lets people look at him, let alone touch him and he definitely doesn't initiate anything... physical." She was being her normal playful and flirtatious self but her words rang true and I didn't know how Alice would take them.

"Do you not like it when I touch you?" Alice's eyes were wide and deeply sad as she whispered her question. _**MORTIFIED, SAD, REJECTED. **_ I was going to kill Charlotte. I shot an enraged look at Charlotte while pushing my feelings of _**ANGER**_ and _ **ANNOYANCE,**_ and simultaneously growling at her. Peter shifted so that he was leaning forward, Charlotte still on his lap, but his eyes trained on me.

I ignored them both and turned to Alice. She had her hands in her lap and wasn't looking at any of us. I couldn't have her upset by Charlotte's words, I just couldn't. I grabbed her hand "Come." Before she could respond I had led us out of the room, to the kitchen, at vampire speed. Technically they would still be able to hear us but I knew they would tune us out to be respectful, just as I would tune them out. I sat at the counter and placed her in my lap her legs hanging off my left side. She still wasn't looking at me. "Darlin, look at me." She sighed then looked up from her hands. Her eyes were so sad and I wanted to hit both of them... hard. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. I cradled her face in my left hand as my right held the back of her head firmly.

"You don't have to touch me..." I cut her off quickly by kissing her. I had brought her to me firmly with the grasp I had on her with my right hand while my left trailed down to her shoulder and her arm, resting on her wrist. I brought it up to wrap around my neck, like she normally did on her own. _**WANT, PEACE, AFFECTION, DESIRE, LUST, CARE.**_ I let her know exactly what I felt when we touched. Clearly we had put off having a conversation about us for to long if she was already doubting me. Vampires feel quickly for those we care for... very quickly, but just as deeply as a human with a lifelong bond. I was no different than the rest of my kind in this. Alice meant a lot to me and always would, she needed to know that.

She kissed me back softly though my kisses couldn't be characterized as anything but demanding. I hated seeing her eyes so sad, her mouth in any form but a smile. I hated it and I couldn't allow it. I knew I was a private man, but that didn't mean I didn't crave her. It didn't mean that I didn't want to constantly touch her, hold her, kiss her, be with her. It just meant that I wasn't used to all of this. I was flawed and this was one of my many flaws, I was guarded. I pulled back to look at her and she smiled softly while sniffling slightly. _**SAD, HAPPY, CONFUSED.**_ I kept my eyes trained on hers, not willing to let her look away.

"I love it when you touch me darlin." I caressed her arms, both of which were wrapped around my neck now. I leaned forward and gave her a small kiss before resting my forehead to hers. "I love to touch you." I stroked her face before trailing my hand down the middle of her chest before wrapping my arm around her waist tightly. She starred at me intensely. "I love being with you. Please don't doubt that." She nodded but I made sure she couldn't lean her face away from me.

"But they said..." I cut her off again with another kiss though this one was soft. I wasn't angry anymore or possessive. I just wanted to comfort her.

"I don't like being touched by others... that is very true... but they aren't you." I leaned back as I watched this small perfect woman on my lap. "I have felt something for you the moment I felt your emotions, the moment I heard your curious and sweet voice. I knew you were special and the moment I saw you I didn't want to look away... Then you saw me and waved so happily before you hugged me." I shook my head at the memory of her reaction to me. I smiled as _**EMBARRASSMENT**_ radiated off her and she tried to look away, which of course I didn't allow. "The rest of your family was hesitant and afraid of me..." She looked like she wanted to argue with my statement but I continued before she could. "...but you, you smiled so bright, you waved eagerly, and then you hugged me like we were already close friends." I stroked her face lovingly as I starred into her eyes. "I was in awe of you in that moment and from that exact moment... I think I was lost to you."

Her eyes widened at my confession and she hugged me while tucking her face into my neck as I shifted my arms to stroke her hair before rubbing her back. _**WORRY, FOCUS, FEAR.**_ I picked up the emotions coming close to the house. "Someone's coming darlin." I really didn't want to surrender our moment but there were a lot of people around who weren't part of it and I meant what I'd told Emmett when I said what was mine and Alice's was just 'ours'. Alice sat up straight and her eyes glazed over.

"Edward." She smiled at me while hopping off hesitantly from my lap. I smiled back gently as we both excited the kitchen and returned to the living room. Peter and Charlotte were in the same position as before. Charlotte waved kindly at us and I knew she held no grudge towards me. It wasn't really Charlotte's way, one of her many good traits. I stepped up to them and Charlotte got off Peter's lap in time to stand just as I reached them.

"I apologize for my rudeness, LocaChar." I used the nickname I'd given her in her first year. She was part Spanish and quite literally was a crazy newborn. Her energy level was exhausting and as her becoming a vampire was my idea she was my responsibility to control. I'd said it once in exasperation and she loved it so much I continued calling her it. She hugged me happily while whispering how sorry she was if her words had upset Alice.

Truthfully it was more my fault than hers. I was empathic, I knew feelings needed to be faced. I shouldn't have put off telling Alice that she was special to me. My actions with her may have made that fact obvious but that didn't mean that she wouldn't need to hear the words.

Peter rolled his eyes as he stood and put one arm around her shoulder while shaking my hand. He forgave me easily, especially given that I'd used the name Charlotte loved. He hated the name but that was only because she forbade him ever using it. She always told him only I was allowed to call her that and he was very resentful of that fact, which I think only encouraged her to keep the rule more fiercely. She loved toying with him, making him jealous, ordering him around, and being ordered around by him. Like I said, she was 'LocaChar'.

"Edward's almost here. He wasn't sure where their scents were coming from I think. He was circling the grounds." I nodded while stepping next to Alice who stood close to the couch we had sat in earlier. Peter and Charlotte remained standing across from us in each-others embrace. I glanced at Alice, who was watching the front door. I noticed yet again we were a small distance apart, enough to not touch, and it felt unnatural. I reached for her waist and held her close to my side. She smiled at me just as the door opened.

…...

As he entered from the front door Edward took one look in the room before he flashed in front of Alice and pulled her to his chest in a protective hug. His eyes continuously flashed to Charlotte and Peter, but to my surprise, not me. I guess I wasn't included, in his mind, as a potential threat to his little sister. She either didn't notice his posture or didn't care. She smiled as bright as always as she hugged him back. "You just saw me, you weirdo." She laughed but he didn't return it. He didn't seem to even hear her as he pulled back to appraise her whole body, probably looking for any injuries. _**CONCERN, ELATION, EAGERNESS.**_ The last emotion was a little surprising. I guess he shared his sisters curiosity of my friends.

"Peter, Charlotte, this is Edward. He's second in command here." I spoke calmly as Edward released Alice who I put my arm back around protectively. I almost shook my head at how this girl could get every vampire to rally in her defense, even one such as myself. Edward shook hands with both of them and smiled politely.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both. Jasper has spoken quite highly of you." Edward retreated slightly to stand on the other side of Alice. His eyes flashed between her and them. I relaxed my arm as I could see his concern for his sister and didn't want to come between them. Alice hugged her brother immediately and he held her back while keeping a friendly expression towards my friends. _**RELIEF, CALM.**_ I saw Peter look strangely between Alice, Edward and myself. I knew the concept of a family was as odd to him as it was to me, so he was probably viewing Edward as a threat to me. Truthfully his physical behaviors towards her made me very uncomfortable but they've been siblings literally as long as she could remember. It was not my wish to come between them for petty jealousy.

"My my, another gentleman. Some girls have all the luck." Charlotte smirked up at Peter who rolled his eyes and playfully squeezed her tight, making her squeak slightly.

"You would get bored with me if I was a gentleman, Char, and you know it."

"Okay, what did we just walk in on." I looked up to see Emmett and Rosalie in the doorway Edward hadn't closed in his efforts to get to Alice quickly. They stepped in, followed by Carlisle and Esme. My eyes went to Peter and Charlotte as they took in this large coven. They knew there was 6 members but it was still daunting to actually see. Very few covens were more than 2 or 3. Peter stiffened slightly at the size of the family, or perhaps at Emmett alone who was by far one of the largest men I'd ever seen. Peter stepped back slightly with Charlotte as the whole family met in the living room.

Alice left Edward's arms and went to Carlisle quickly. He caught her just as she jumped up to him. My eyes went to Peter who looked at me in confusion. Yes, I know, my girl is very friendly with the men in her life. It's not like he was in any position to judge. Charlotte was far worse. At least in Alice's case they were all her brothers and her father. "Dad, I missed you." He kissed her on the top of her head as she plopped to the ground from his arms loudly due to her shoes. Next she hugged Esme warmly.

As soon as she released Esme, Emmett grabbed her playfully but roughly. I tensed noticeably as he cradled her tiny body in his arms and proceeded to mess up her hair rigorously. "Did you miss me Tinkerbelle?"

"God no. It so much quieter without you here to give me a headache." She laughed at his mock hurt expression.

"You wound me baby sister." He put her down and she hugged Rosalie who to my surprise hugged her back kindly. I saw Rosalie stiffen then glare at me. _**ANGER, DISGUST.**_ Ah, so she smelled me on Alice. I shrugged while smiling at her in the politest way possible. Alice stepped back to me and I hugged her to my side while keeping my eyes on everyone in the room. It was strange to be around so many of my kind. The last time this happened was with the newborns a couple decades to go. This was a group of fully controlled vampires though, with the exception of Rose of course.

"Everyone. This is Peter and Charlotte. Peter... Charlotte, meet the Cullen's. You've already met Alice ad Edward. This is Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme." I gestured to each briefly as they each shook hands with them though Peter didn't allow Charlotte to touch the males, particularly Emmett. Rose of course, who stood back in distaste, didn't shake hands with either of them.

 _ **MISCHIEF, HUMOR.**_ I looked at Charlotte as she watched Rose with a calculating expression. My eyes went to Edward, who seemed to have picked up on the same thing as me. His eyes were trained on Charlotte.

"Rosalie, what a pretty name." Charlotte smiled sweetly at Rose and I had absolutely no clue as to what she was up to. Rose looked at her and gave a stiff nod. Charlotte walked closer to Rose who had stood away from everyone else to avoid contact with them. Rose watched Charlotte's movements but didn't stop her, though she did take a few steps back. "You're so pretty too, so it fits you well." Charlotte's words couldn't of sounded kinder though her emotions were purely _**CALCULATION, HUMOR, ANNOYANCE.**_ Peter didn't seem to like whatever Charlotte was doing but didn't stop her. He knew his mate was up to something and his instincts probably screamed he wouldn't like it.

"So you're Emmett." Charlotte's steps, that had seemingly been towards Rose, took her right next to Emmett, who she gave her undivided attention now. I rolled my eyes internally while simultaneously smirking. I knew what she was up to. Jealousy and territoriality were Charlotte's favorite toys and Rose was full of both. Emmett smiled kindly while looking down at Charlotte, so much smaller than him. She held out her hand and he took it without hesitation. "You're a pretty big guy." She smiled kindly, eyes full of humor. He laughed at her obvious observation. He was playing right into Charlotte's plan to piss off Rose, but I certainly wasn't going to stop it. I looked at Edward and he was smiling while averting his eyes. "I've heard big guys are the sweetest teddy bears and the best at cuddling." he shrugged his shoulders. "Are you a teddy bear Emmett?" She looked so innocent as she asked.

"He's a big softy, under all the annoying stuff." Alice unwittingly helped Charlotte and I saw Rosalie stiffen at Charlotte's focus on her mate.

"Hmmm." Charlotte gave Emmett's arm a quick but obvious rub. His eyes went to the movement then to her, who continued to smile back innocently. The poor poor ignorant man was really going to pay later. I actually felt bad for him but then again, I didn't sympathize enough to stop it. "I've also heard other things about big guys."

My eyes flashed to Rose as she charged. Not at vampire speed but still quite fast. I actually heard Peter sigh at the same time I noticed Charlotte's smirk. She dodged Rose by hoping over the couch next to Emmett before super-speeding back to Peter who draped his arms over her shoulders, clasping his hands together at her chest. They both stood casually and the rest of the Cullen's looked to each-other in confusion. You could actually see them wondering if that had all actually happened or not. Charlotte was very fast when she ran and the fact that she now stood so calmly with her mate was confusing them.

Rosalie was fuming but Emmett held her tightly, or maybe restrained would be a more accurate term. "I've heard that they are very fun. You seem like a very, very fun guy, Emmett." we all knew she was using fun as a metaphor as she winked at Emmett and I swear I saw steam shoot from Rosalie's ears. I rubbed my temples at her behavior. There was never a dull moment with LocaChar around, she would never allow such a thing.

…...

Thankfully a fight between the two didn't break out, at least not yet, though the day was young. We all settled in the living room and made conversation. The Cullen's relayed their stories though not as intimately as they had with me, and many details were skipped over. Peter and Charlotte spoke of what it was like in the army. Their own perceptions being quite different from mine since they were much younger and weren't in charge. I was most interested when they talked of what it was like there now. Edward asked them if it was hard to return there and they both shrugged while explaining that it had been a big part of their lives, good and bad, so they wanted to see it for themselves.

"What good came from your time there?" Esme was polite as she asked.

"Well I got my mate and my brother there so..." Peter trailed off while looking at Charlotte lovingly before smiling at me and I gave him a head nod in return.

"And I got my boy toy here.." Charlotte, now perched in Peter's lap gestured with her thumb at him before she smiled in a starstruck way at me. "...and the number one man in my life." I rolled my eyes. The Cullen's looked confused but thankfully let it drop.

"So tell us about your ability." Emmett was of course eager to hear about Peter's abilities that gave him an edge in a fight.

"Not much to tell. I can simply look at someone and see what is physically wrong with them. To be honest it's very difficult to describe."

"Well, what's wrong with all of us?" Of course he would ask that.

Peter glanced at each of them briefly before his eyes landed on Emmett. Edward stiffened. "I can tell that your diets make you physically weaker. You all appear thirsty to me though I know you each hunted recently." They all looked at one another clearly impressed.

"Okay, that's boring. What else do you see? Something specific to each of us. Peter nodded before his eyes went to each of them. I could see each shift uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Edward's weakness is that he's defensive in a fight, reactive. He waits on his opponents move before making one of his own. Yours, Emmett, is the opposite. You charge in quickly without patience. Carlisle and Esme seem to share a weakness. Both of you are physically passive, probably unwilling to make a kill shot if it presented itself. Rosalie's weakness is aggression. Her bodies responses are emotional and therefore predictable. Alice's physical weakness is her inexperience. Her body screams her lack of knowledge. My eyes watched them as they weighed Peter's assessment. "I can read much more subtle and temporary weaknesses in an actual fight to utilize for my own benefit. It helps a lot."

"What's Jasper's weakness?" I rolled my eyes at Emmett. Peter laughed.

"If I knew that I would actually be able to beat him in a fight for once. Hell if he had one at all maybe someone could beat him at least one time." I narrowed my eyes as all their eyes went to me. Peter looked from all of them to me. "You didn't tell them?"

"Tell us what?" Alice and Rose spoke at once though with different tones. Rose was full of accusation while Alice was curious and a little hurt. I rubbed her arm quickly, we were both sitting on the couch next to Charlotte and Peter.

"Nothing. Peter has an overactive imagination." He scoffed and crossed his arms defensively.

"Really?" Edward looked from Peter to me and I knew he'd read Peter's, shall I say, insights into me and my abilities.

I rolled my eyes. "Peter is under the mistaken impression that I have more than one special ability."

"No I am well aware that you DO have more than one ability, three in fact."

"Three?" _**IMPRESSED, JEALOUS, RESENTFUL, AWE.**_ I shook my head at Emmett's internal struggle of idolizing me or hating me.

"Yep, three. They all compliment each-other perfectly." Charlotte chimed in and I shot her a look that said 'seriously, you're going to agree with him?' she shrugged at my silent disbelief but smirked.

"Tell us." Carlisle spoke and seemed more intrigued than Emmett.

"Nothing to tell. Empathy is my only supernatural gift." I was firm in this belief.

"Yeah sure, I believe you. Anything you say General." Peter rolled his eyes before leaning forward intensely watching the family. His posture showed no sign of listening to me, he was readying his opinions for them all to hear. "So Jasper has never, and I do mean absolutely never lost a fight. Big or small, no matter how many he's been up against. He N-E-V-E-R loses. He accented his words carefully and I sighed.

"What about in training, play fighting, wrestling..." Emmett trailed off and Peter shook his head to each example.

"I say it again, he has NEVER lost a fight." I stood up from the couch, feeling horribly uncomfortable at the amount of _**FOCUS, CURIOSITY, EXCITEMENT, AWE**_ and many other emotions all radiating from them all. I'd had this debate with Peter many times throughout the years, with neither of us conceding to the others views. I felt their eyes on me as I took the position I'd had the first time I was in this house, leaned up against the wall by the door. And like before I avoided looking at Alice. I didn't know how she would look back at me. I didn't know how much of Peter's story might provide more insight into my past. I didn't want Alice to know it all. I didn't want her pity, I didn't want her sad, I didn't want her angry... I just wanted... her. I wanted what we were without all of this, my past, my regrets, my burdens, I wanted it to be just us.

"His perfect zero loss record goes into his second ability. Jasper has a super strategic mind." I glanced at Emmett and saw him roll his eyes. Clearly he found the idea preposterous. I looked back to Peter who was watching me with a smirk. I kept my face neutral. "I know that probably sounds ridiculous but let me explain it. His opponents have been all over the place in capabilities; older, stronger, faster, super-powered. Not to mention him being outnumbered. Yet he always has a plan." I scoffed loudly.

"Well, how would YOU explain it?" Peter kept his smirk in place as he asked with a tone full of condescension.

"Skill and training." Seemed more than reasonable to me.

"Oh please, even I know that's ridiculous." Charlotte giggled from Peter's lap. She was always skeptical of Peter's theory about me but she also believed I was more skilled than I realized.

"Let's look at the facts..." He held his hands as he ticked off the reasons on his fingers.

-"No losses in the blood-rage of your first year."

-"Not a single loss in over a century of raising, training, and executing hundreds of newborns."

-"No losses in the bloodiest human war this country has ever seen, while still a fragile human."

"What?" I shook my head at Emmett's question.

"I never lost a fight as a human either." I explained quickly keeping my eyes on Peter. "And in correction to your history reference. World War 2 had more war losses than the Civil war. The Civil war lost more than twice its military losses to disease, giving it the highest total lost lives."

Peter ignored me entirely as he continued like I was mute. Like I said, we'd had this debate many times. "And you can't argue you had the training and experience then, at only 17 years old." _**CONFIDENCE, PRIDE, ARROGANCE.**_ I didn't respond, so Peter continued.

"His super-strategy, it gives him insight. He can see, hear, talk, and derive a solution to any problem. He sees how to move against multiple foes, how to anticipate a faster opponent, how to use a larger foes strength against them. He uses his vault of experience to always have a plan B. It's quite cool." Peter laughed at the end. I felt rather than saw everyone looking at me as my eyes were trained out the window.

"How exactly does strategy help against super-powered foes?" To my surprise it was Esme that asked this. "All the planning in the world could only prepare you so much against someone who can do... who knows what?"

Peter gave an evil triumphant smile at me but I continued looking out the window. "That ties into his last ability. Super adaptation." This was the ability I truly believed was all in Peter's head. Sure I'd been through many things in my life but I wouldn't say I had adapted so much as dealt with it. It certainly wasn't easy or preferred, I just did what I needed to do.

My eyes went to the family all of which were engrossed in Peter's theory's. _**TRIUMPH, JOY, HUMOR, EAGER.**_ Peter had many things flowing through him while the whole family just seemed eager to hear more. "As you are all well aware, vampires are creatures of habit. We are essentially frozen at the state of mind we were in when turned. We're stuck with only the process of finding a mate truly able to change us." Peters eyes were on me and I saw them flicker in Alice's direction. _**RAGE, FEAR.**_ He was crossing a line and he knew it. No one has the right to assume or even ponder such a thing about another.

Peter quickly nodded his head in my direction in apology. I didn't respond in any way other than abating the emotions I was hurling at him. "Jasper is the exception to that rule. Not only can he make changes, he has made huge ones in his lifetime. He's done it without a mate, without his sire's request... He just changes when it's required. The first was when he was a newborn. Despite the blood-lust that should have been all he focused on he adjusted to being Maria's number one immediately and took up the responsibility of the newborns right away, training, controlling, and leading them even though he was still one himself." They all looked at me and I honestly didn't have a response. I did lead them my first year but I had to. Maria had killed her former two companions and leaned on me for help. Again I didn't do it because I wanted to but because I needed to.

"Then his next big change. He lived in a savage newborn army for over a century yet quick as a flash he goes to a small coven of three. How many could do such a thing? Even humans can't adjust like that." Peter had adjusted to the lifestyle as well but unlike me he'd had a mate to consider for his life change. "Then after being in a coven for ten years, he shifts to being completely alone for another decade... Again, what vampire could make such changes?" No one responded though they did look to each-other a bit.

"Now look at him." Peter smiled as he waved at me, still pressed against the wall with my arms crossed. "Fully comfortable living in one place, despite never having stayed in one spot for longer than a few months before now, with a group of vampires that don't feed from humans. From newborns blood-lust to pure pacifists." Peter shook his head at the idea. _**CONFUSION, EXCITEMENT, DOUBT, CURIOSITY.**_ Everyone was weighing his opinions while I was hoping the topic of diet didn't escalate further. I didn't know how Peter and Charlotte would take the news of my own dietary changes. Carlisle's eyes went to me and I met his stare. I gathered he was curious of whether or not they knew of my decision to abstain from human blood.

"If I'm such a strategist..." I finally spoke and all eyes went to me. "... and I'm so good at adjusting to any situation how do you explain this..." I rolled up my sleeves to showcase some of my countless scars." All eyes went to the marks before going to Peter who didn't even flinch.

"I never said you were untouchable, general. I just said you were unstoppable."

…...

"How does this all tie into fighting someone with their own super-power?" Emmett was intrigued and I got a bad feeling about where this was leading.

Peter laughed hard. "Jasper's empathy used to be so much different than it is now. He used to only be able to read emotions, but being around so many newborns caused him to actually EVOLVE. His power itself adjusted to be able to manipulate moods. I've also seen him do some incredibly amazing things with his active gift of empathy as well, thanks to his passive gift of adaptation."

I saw Emmett's eyes rest on me for a moment and I starred back intently. I still had a bad feeling about where this conversation was going. "I really don't think that's a great idea Emmett." Everyone's eyes went to Edward who had spoke in a scolding tone to his younger brother. _**EXHILARATION, INTRIGUE, MISCHIEVOUSNESS.**_

My eyes went to Charlotte as her eyes met Peter and they seemed to carry on a silent conversation. Peter nodded as Charlotte got off his lap and he got up to stand next to her, his arm across her shoulders casually... to casually. They were up to something. "How would you feel about a small test, General?" He didn't wait for me to respond. "We have the perfect opportunity to test my theory." His eyes went to Edward who's jaw clenched before looking at me.

"NO." I spoke firmly.

"Awww, come on. It will be fun." Charlotte pouted at my complete dismissal of their ludicrous idea.

"NO." I spoke in the same final tone, starring them down.

"No, what?" the whole family spoke together but I kept my eyes on the two trouble makers with absolutely no respect.

"I will not attack a member of the Cullen's to curb your curiosity." My words were harsh. Every family member but Edward flinched.

"So dramatic." Charlotte waved her hand dismissively at me while watching the Cullen's. "Not attack, spar. It could be a lot of fun. Can you imagine? Empath versus telepath? Who will win?"

"That is absolutely ridiculous." I saw Esme go to Edward and immediately he tucked her into his side. "I will not harm a member of this family that has shown me nothing but kindness."

"Ahhh, so you admit you think you would win? Most would say the ability to read minds trumps the ability to read emotions. What gives you the advantage? Something other than empathy... something MORE maybe?"

"Irrelevant as I will not be fighting him." _**FIRM, ANGRY, DETERMINED.**_ They would know I was set on this.

"Well you said he was the best fighter of this coven. The best fighter in a coven of 6 must mean he's skilled. Who says he would get hurt?"

I was about to object when Emmett chimed in. "WHAT! I'm the best fighter here." I held the bridge of my nose with my hand as I contemplated if it was possible for vampires to get headaches. My friends had been here less than a couple hours and have already started trouble. Wolves, Alice and I, The Cullen's... My thoughts trailed off as I contemplated what to say.

"What I said was that he was second in command of this coven. I have no idea who is the best fighter as I've never seen them fight." I knew immediately that I'd said the wrong thing. Peter's misspoken words were meant to rile up Emmett, causing me to try to calm down the situation, basically now inviting everyone to organize a match against one another to see who was the strongest. I didn't have to be psychic to know Peter and Charlotte would try to get me to fight the winner, who most likely would be Edward, getting Peter exactly what he wanted.

…...

The Cullen's started a debate on whether or not to fight each-other. Almost everyone was against the idea. Emmett stood alone in his endeavor to get the title of best soldier though Alice expressed her own curiosity of such a thing. At the family's refusal Charlotte saw an opening. She offered to wrestle Emmett whenever he wanted. The gullible fool actually agreed not noticing the seductive tone of her voice. Peter rolled his eyes while Rosalie actually stepped in front of Emmett and starred Charlotte down. An easy task since Rose was much taller than her. Charlotte shrugged while blowing a kiss to Emmett while ignoring Peter who rolled his eyes. After that things with the Cullen's actually calmed down a bit, without my influence which was a big surprise as I was still waiting for Charlotte and Rose to attempt a fight to the death. Something told me Charlotte was working her way up to something big.

Peter and Charlotte playfully argued about his lack of jealousy and eventually Peter ignored her attempts to convince him that if he didn't get jealous it meant he took her for granted. Peter and Emmett started talking about fighting one another and I tried to step in to stop that line of thinking before it started. Adrenaline was a big thing for vampires and if all of us were around a fight, we would all start tensing for a fight as well. It was natural and I didn't want to deal with it.

I had sat back down while trying to convince Peter for the countless time that I had no other special ability that he needed to 'test'. "This whole thing is ridiculous I have no special powers outside my empathy."

Charlotte walked over to me without a word and flopped in my lap seductively. My eyes went to her in annoyance. I knew exactly what she was doing. She had done this before, many times in fact. She was trying to get a rise out of Peter by flirting with his best friend. Sadly it had worked well for her in the past and she loved to get him jealous."I don't know, daddy. You've always been special to me." She batted her eyes while wrapping her arms around my neck.

I quickly grabbed both her wrists and held them in my hand at her lap, forcefully while giving her a very angry expression. "Don't call me that, Charlotte."

"It's the truth. After all you made me the woman I am." She batted her eyes and every family member gasped in shock, clearly taking her words exactly as she wanted them to.

"She means I created her." I starred each of them down but still avoided Alice. I would not be having this conversation, so I needed to clarify quickly. "I made Charlotte in my attempts to keep her from getting killed by the newborns." Again the family looked surprised but nodded. I avoided Alice completely at this point as I had most of this conversation. I didn't want to see her upset and I'd put Charlotte in her place soon enough.

Since I still had her hands clutched to prevent her doing anything she cuddled into my side. "Don't push me LocaChar." I tilted my head away from her in annoyance.

"How are you going to stop me? You would never hurt a woman. You're to much of a southern gentleman."

"I can stop you."

"Than do it, daddy dearest."

"If you were my daughter I would be quite disappointed with you right now." I hated how public this conversation was and I could feel the sheer disbelief coming from the Cullen's right now. "Now, would you kindly remove yourself from my lap." She wasn't wrong that I was gentlemanly by nature and she took advantage of it where she could.

"It's okay. Peter doesn't get jealous." She shot an annoyed look at him but I kept my eyes on her, worried about how far she would take this.

"Everyone gets jealous. I say that as an empath, a vampire, and a man." I knew her need to make him jealous was due to an insecurity of hers so I tried to help though I really just wanted her off me. I'd always had a soft spot for Charlotte and put up with more than I probably should as a result.

"Do you get jealous?" _**CURIOSITY.**_ She was actually curious. I thought about it and I honestly hadn't been jealous of much in a long time. That was until I met Alice.

"If I have reason to be."

"Jealousy is rarely rational."

"Says the woman sitting in another mans lap." I gave her a pointed look and suddenly I really did feel like her father.

"I'm just affectionate." Her voice was laced in innocence and I narrowed my eyes. "It's okay to be affectionate with the men in your life." Her eyes flashed towards Alice quickly and I let a very low growl lose. I wasn't sure if anyone else could here it but Charlotte certainly could.

"Count to ten before you act." Charlotte smirked at my words.

"Where's the fun in that?"

 _ **MALICE, ANNOYANCE, FOCUS.**_ I bore my eyes into her so she could feel everything radiating from me. She shuttered slightly. "I was talking to myself." She shuttered but didn't leave my lap.

"Uh-oh, Daddy's mad." She smiled and kissed my cheek.

"That's quite enough, Char." Peter cut off my retort when he quite literally yanked Charlotte off my lap, just a micro second before I did something I would most likely regret. I saw Peters eyes were pitch black, where they had been vivid red moments earlier. _**PISSED, LIVID, LUSTFUL, DOMINATIVE, CONTROLLING, POSSESIVE, DETERMINED.**_ Quick as a flash Peter hauled Charlotte out of the house forcefully without a word. The front door slammed and a hush fell over the room.

I cleared my throat not wanting to remain in the sheer amount of awkwardness I felt radiating in the room at the moment. "In case you were wondering why I left my old coven..." I gestured with my hand towards the door. "... that is one of the reasons, being part of their... games." With that the mood shifted and Emmett started laughing, hard. I watched him as he literally fell to the ground trying to control himself and failing miserably. _**JOY, HUMOR, LIGHT-HEARTEDNESS.**_

"I like her! I bet she had a lot of fun with a guy like you around." A few more chuckles broke out in the room and the amount of humor at my expense was undeniable.

God I miss the awkward...

 **END NOTES:**

***** Very fast chapter update after the last one. Don't get used to it fans. I do have other things to do in my life. Lol. I actually had this chapter almost done almost immediatlly after the last one but I kept rewriting the part with Jasper and Charlotte. Not knowing exactly how far she would go or how much Jasper would allow.

***** Ha. What does everyone think of Charlotte? She's fun but trouble. Her and Peter enjoy pushing Jasper. And they aren't done yet... ;-)

***** What does everyone think of my take on Jasper's abilities?

Chapter (SONG) Title: "GOOD as Hell" by Paul Rey- Perfect Song. The Chorus of the song is "For the first time in years I feel good as Hell." Perfect feelings for the chapter. Despite how annoyed Jasper is by his old friends in this chapter he's happy in his own way. He's belonging in a family unit. Everyone pushing each-others buttons. Everyone debating and laughing at one-another. Plus he has a bit more clarity on his feelings with Alice as she knows she means a lot to him.

 **REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** It gives me writing fuel. :-)


	12. AWAKE and ALIVE

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 ** *****SORRY for delay. I had a bunch of employees call in sick so I was all alone at work, putting in 11+hours straight for a few days. Being the manager can stink sometimes.****

 ** *****THANK-YOU everyone for the responses. I had over 1700 views on my story in just 1 month of it being posted. I'm so happy that so many have taken interest and enjoyed the story. Thank-you all. :-)****

 ** ********* ** **WARNING**** ** *********

 ** **THIS CHAPTER MAY BE A BIT MORE MATURE IN CONTENT THAN PRIOR ONES. Nothing awful just be prepared. (SOME CITRUS MOMENTS).****

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 ** **Chapter#12: AWAKE and ALIVE****

 ** **JPOV****

I don't know exactly why I thought things would get easier after Peter and Charlotte left. Practically as soon as they closed the door and Emmett finally managed to stop laughing the room grew tense. It wasn't my empathy picking it up either. We could ALL feel it. I had stood up as soon as Peter had pulled Charlotte off me. I was horribly on edge as a result of her attentions. I knew she meant nothing more than to play with Peter... and maybe me a bit. The problem was I've never been comfortable with being touched. I was reserved around others even when I was still human. As a vampire I'd only gotten worse. The only person I'd ever really allowed to touch me more than a brief handshake or friendly hug was Maria... until Alice of course.

I had immediately resumed my place near the front door, standing away from the Cullen's. My posture clearly defined how on edge I was. I was ramrod straight with my arms crossed over my chest. Despite the necessity of some emotional space, my thoughts went to Alice easily and so my eyes did too. She was still sitting with her 'parents' keeping her eye's lowered. _**SHY, NERVOUS, SAD.**_ Why was she sad? Esme had her arm around her and Alice was tucked into her side. I wanted to take her in my arms but didn't want to push her into something either.

"So was there any truth to what Peter said?" Emmett was still curious as well as oblivious to the feelings in the room. My eyes went to him as I thought of what to say.

"In the sense that I'm a good strategist and better than most vampires at adjusting to change, yes it's true. Is there a supernatural component to it, no. I did what I needed to survive. If I hadn't changed, I wouldn't have lasted long." He didn't immediately respond so my eyes went back to Alice. She still wasn't looking at anyone. _**AFFECTION, CONCERN, SORROW, REGRET.**_ I channeled everything I felt and sent it to her. She slouched slightly in response before looking at me with deeply sad eyes. I tensed when I saw them. The brightness wasn't there. The kindness and innocence was still there but the sunshine was entirely absent.

"What makes you positive that it's not super strategy and adaptation?" Carlisle asked me and I felt a very minor amount of hostility coming from him. Wonderful, he'd noticed Alice's mood as well.

"Because I already have my special gift. I've never heard of having more than one. Plus they are passive skills. Everyone has the ability, at different levels, to plan and adapt to a situation. I do it well, that's not anything supernatural."

"I'm very curious..." I closed my eyes as I tried to find the patience to listen to whatever poison Rosalie was about to spew.

"I'm listening." She had let her sentence trail off so I knew she was gearing up for something.

"Do you make a habit of letting random women crawl all over you?"

"Well I'm curious as to why it's any business of yours as well as why you should care." I could have pointed out that Charlotte wasn't random but what was the point? One could almost think she was looking out for Alice but her emotions were not concern or care. All I could get from her was the usual displeasure, self-absorption, and disdain that always radiated from her. I was fuming on the inside as I listened to her words and felt her emotions. She knew perfectly well that Charlotte wasn't interested in me nor was I interested in her. Her actions had been for Peter's benefit, not mine. Rosalie was attempting to make problems where they weren't any.

Almost in agreement to my silent accusation, Rosalie's eyes went to Alice who had resumed looking away from me and had her eyes flashing around the room with a blank expression. Rosalies eyes zeroed back in on me after she looked to Alice. "I think it's pretty obvious why I want to know. Why?"

"I don't make a habit of it no. Do you make a habit of starting fights you have no chance of winning?" _**WEAK, SCARED, ALONE.**_ I channeled the emotions I knew would upset her most and gave her a concentrated dose.

Rosalie hissed at me so I knew she could feel what I was doing to her. Despite knowing it, she couldn't fight it. The emotions were taking root. "Why don't you fight me without you stupid gift?!"

I immediately stopped influencing her and watched her in contemplation. "Interesting idea. Do you really want a fight?" I glanced around the room as Edward and Emmett stood up at my words, but with polar opposite emotions. Carlisle and Esme froze in place but didn't move. Alice had remained where she was but I couldn't see her eyes. _**SADNESS**_ still radiated from her though. "Many consider me to be a gentleman and an honorable fighter." The whole family was standing now as the tension grew. "Don't confuse this to mean I have any qualms fighting a woman, because I don't. I was trained by a woman and I know that they are just as lethal as any man is. If you wish to fight me without my gift I will honor your request. I have never backed down from a challenge so if you wish it, I will fight you. However know this. I will win and you will lose."

"Enough." Carlisle was calm but agitated. The whole family had turned aggravated, not that I blamed them. I myself was focusing everything I had on calming myself to stop from completely losing it. I was so many things at the moment I couldn't pinpoint what feeling was most prominent.

"Yes, it's quite enough." My voice suggested anger was the most forefront of my feelings. I turned to the front door and opened it before looking back to Alice. I saw her pull away from her mother and head to the door. I waited for her as she got close, then I turned back to the open door and ran without looking back.

I could hear her following me so I picked up speed, desperate to get us away from everyone else. I ran until we were no longer on 'Cullen' land but also nowhere near the reservation. We ran for close to an hour before I finally stopped. She had trailed behind me a ways but started to slow in response to my halt. It wasn't fast enough for me though so I turned and grabbed her, one hand on her neck the other on her hip. I brought her to an immediate stop with the speed of my movement. She gasped and looked up to me before I crushed her to me, kissing her more forcefully than I ever had.

I had lifted her up to me, her feet off the ground, without consciously meaning to. This felt natural, so natural I didn't have to think about it. My body knew to pull her up to me, to compensate for our height difference. My right hand held her head at her temple, keeping her close while my left hand was clutched in a fist and held her lower back tightly.

The back of my mind was worried I was being to forceful. She was so soft, precious, kind, and I didn't know what she would think of my behavior. Honestly I didn't know what to make of it. I felt out of control. There were so many emotions clashing in me due to everything that had happened.

Alice looking away from me - _**LOST**_

Alice touching other males. - _ **JEALOUS**_

Males touching her. _**INRAGED**_

Charlotte touching me. - _**GUILTY**_

Rosalie accusations. - _**TERRITORIAL**_

It had been awhile since I'd felt this much before. It was true I lived in a world of emotions but they were always someone else's. No matter how strong those sensations could feel it was still an echo of what it was like to truly feel it myself. This was all me now, and it was staggering. I felt more than I had in a hundred years, maybe more than I ever had. It didn't escape me that the root of each feeling was all her. She made me feel this, all of it, the good and the bad. I grasped her tighter, pulling her body to me. She gasped slightly at the pressure but that did nothing to stop me.

Her hands went to my hair as usual and despite the force I was using she was as gentle as always. Some primal part of me wanted her to be harder, wanted her to be at least slightly as dominating as I was but that was only a small part. The rest of me thrived in her gentleness. Her warmth, her kindness, her innocence, all of it was what I craved. She was everything I wasn't and I needed all of it. I was the dark, she was the light. I was dominate and she was submissive. I was flawed while she was perfection.

I couldn't seem to get close enough to her and my instincts took over in my efforts to get closer to her. I pressed her up against a tree freeing my hands from holding her up. The hand that had been gripping her back went to her right thigh as my right hand went to her left. I grabbed them forcefully and wrapped her legs around me, getting my body as close to her as possible. My hands then went up to cradle her face as her legs tightened around me on her own accord. Her grip wasn't hard but natural, it felt amazing. One of her hands stayed in my hair, playing with the tips of it as the other trailed down where she rubbed my shoulder to the center of my back and neck. Over and over again she repeated the pattern and it was so comforting. It was like her body knew exactly what I needed, what I wanted. She was calming me, comforting me. My body pulsed in response to what she was doing to me. I both tensed and relaxed at how this all felt. In my entire life I'd never felt MORE. It didn't even matter what name the emotions had. It honestly didn't even matter if they were good or bad. I had simply never felt MORE, and it made me feel whole.

My grip on her loosened slightly as I melted into our embrace, though I still held her firmly against the tree with my body and she was still wrapped around me. I could feel all her sadness melting away as I possessed her and I realized I was giving her exactly what she needed just as she was doing the same for me. I needed to be consoled and I needed to be understood. Every little touch she gave me told me that she knew that and above trying to understand she WANTED to understand every part of me. On her end, she needed to be claimed... desired, wanted. I did want her, in every way possible I wanted her. Above that I truly needed her.

I had never needed anything in my existence and that part of my brain... that part that had been fighting me since the moment I made the decision to go east towards the unknown was screaming at me now to pull back. Despite the volume behind the scream the rest of me drowned it out like it had never made a sound. A very real part of me didn't care if giving in to these feelings made me burn. Other than blood, I'd never needed anything and I felt more alive than I thought possible as a result. The pieces fell into place about myself. All the bad in me and my past, all the closed off feelings were the reason for my 'super adaptation'. I adjusted not because I was particularly great at it but because I just simply didn't care. I truly didn't care enough to put down the roots everyone else did, even in the small things like familiarity. I didn't care about the army, I didn't need the power, I didn't desire being in a coven, I didn't want more than to drift alone. NOW I cared, NOW I needed, NOW I desired, NOW I wanted so much more.

I pulled away from her lips to rest my forehead against hers for a small moment before tilting away slightly to look at her. My hands were on either side of her head stroking her temples as I gazed into her eyes. They were bright again, which made me smile wide in return. I truly believed I was beginning to live to see her smile. As I starred into her eyes she clearly grew self-conscious as she pursed her lips slightly while trying to fight smiling. I wondered what she would have looked like as a human in this moment, as I knew she would have been bright red. I was pulled from the question when she tried to look down and away in her shyness.

"Don't look away from me." My words were sadder and more demanding than I had intended. It had hurt when she wouldn't look at me before. It wasn't her... at least not with me. From the very start she has met my gaze with a bright smile, and absolute warmth. I didn't want that to change, EVER. Her eyes flashed up to me by my words. Somehow they felt so loud in the small bubble between us. My right hand went to the back of her head were I massaged her while keeping my eyes on her. I leaned in and kissed her again, much softer than before but still just as demanding.

This time she wrapped her arms around my neck tightly with a small amount of possesiveness. She kissed me back as firmly as I was kissing her now. I opened my mouth slightly and she did as well in response. My tongue lightly traced her lips and she gasped in surprise. I smirked at her innocence. I had her pressed up against a tree with her legs around me but this is what made her gasp in shock. I didn't stop what I was doing but instead cocked my head more to the side as I kissed her deeper. Her hands gripped me tighter but kept the gentleness I cherished.

We continued like this for I didn't know how long. Minutes, hours, honestly I didn't know. More importantly I didn't care, I never wanted to lose this feeling. Eventually her legs tightened considerably. I almost didn't think anything of it until I felt her shift. I had unknowingly pressed her even tighter against the tree and as a result I could feel even the smallest movements of her body. She breathed deeply and brought her body up slightly before relaxing, then she did it again, and again. She was grinding on me. _**LUST, AFFECTION, NEED, WANT, NERVOUSNESS.**_

I couldn't resist sending my own emotions back to her, showing her exactly what I felt for her. _**LUST, DESIRE, AFFECTION, ADORATION, CONCERN, AMAZEMENT.**_ My mouth met her even harder and she welcomed me easily, taking me in with zero fight. Her submission was extremely arousing and before I knew what I was doing I had growled and pressed her against the tree with force, to the point that I heard it crack behind her.

I grabbed her hands in each of mine, intertwining our fingers before holding them on either side of her against the trunk of the tree. She moaned softly into my mouth and it was enough to make me lose control. I grasped her tight and in less than a second I had spun her around and rested on top of her on the ground, without having even realized I'd lowered us. Our positions were the same as against the tree. Her legs had never left my waist and our hands were intertwined but above her head now. The only difference was that at this angle it was up to me to grind against her. I hesitated before moving anything other than my lips. I wanted to press down and move with her body but at the same time I didn't. I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted anything but I didn't know what we were ready for. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was disrespect her, she meant far to much to me.

I kept my right hand in her left, holding firm above her head but with my other hand I stroked her chin and grasped her neck gently. I pulled back to look at her. _**DESIRE, CONFUSION, HAPPINESS, DOUBT.**_ My pixy was doubting me due to my hesitation. I leaned back down and rained small soft kisses all over her lips, her jaw, her chin, before her lips again. I kept each kiss soft and gentle.

"What's wrong?" _**WORRY.**_ I closed my eyes and rested my forehead to hers at her whispered question.

"Nothing is wrong, sunshine." I opened my eyes and her wide golden ones just starred back at me with pure _**CONCERN**_ and _**CARE**_. I stroked her cheek as I watched her eyes. "God, you are so beautiful." She fought a smile as she pursed her lips again in the beautiful shy way she did. I couldn't resist giving her another soft kiss in response.

"Then why did you stop?" _**NERVOUS, SURPRISED.**_ Her own boldness surprised her as her eyes widened in shock and she tried to look away while fidgeting nervously. I chuckled before releasing her hand and grasping her face softly in both my hands, guiding her face to look at me.

"Stop what exactly darlin?" I smirked as her eyes took on the classic 'deer in the headlights' expression.

"Um, what we were doing?" Her answer came out as a question and I just smiled adoringly at her.

I leaned forward and rubbed my nose against hers softly before moving up to whisper in her ear. "And what were we doing, darlin?" She shivered at what I was doing to her and internally I was radiating in pride from the effect I had on her.

"Kissing and stuff." God she was cute.

"Hmm, and stuff?" I still had my face pressed to the side of her face, whispering into her ear as I pressed light kisses to her ear lobe and breathed onto her neck. She nodded weakly and I chuckled. "What we were doing was a lot more than kissing... and stuff." She shrunk back a bit by my words and I smiled as I nuzzled her neck intimately. "Did you want me to keep going?" I didn't know exactly what I was meaning to ask but I immediately knew how my words could be interpreted. Acting quickly I sat up before she could respond to my loaded question. I didn't want to be separated from her though, nor did I want her upset so I pulled her to my lap gently.

 _ **REJECTED, AFFECTIONATE, CONFUSED, LUSTFUL.**_ I internally beat myself up for her emotions. I didn't want her to feel dejected, obviously, but I didn't want her to be pushed into something either. I hated to admit it but a major part of me was focusing on her lustful emotions. I tried to deny how much I really wanted to continue what we were doing but it was pointless to deny. My body was buzzing with desire for her. I wanted her so badly I could barely think of anything else. I didn't know exactly how far we wanted to go but I wasn't ignorant to her needs. I was fairly positive she wasn't anywhere near ready for sex. I didn't know her past, though she didn't either but I gathered that she wasn't... experienced with men, and I sure as Hell wasn't going to push her into something like that.

"Stop that darlin." My voice was firm and she looked up at me in confusion. "Stop doubting my affections for you." She shrugged noncommittally but I grabbed her face, forcing her to look me right in the eyes and hear my words. "I do want you Alice." I realized it was the first time I'd called her by her actual name but pushed past it. "I want you far more than you realize." My eyes bored into hers and her body shrunk under my intensity. "I want you." I kissed her lightly but pulled away quickly. "I crave you." I smiled at her as she looked back at me. "and I need you." She smiled and I stroked her hair lightly. "I've never needed someone before but I need you."

"I need you too." I looked at her in surprise. I knew she liked me. I knew she cared for me, but need? What could she need from me? I was sure all I'd done was complicate her life. Her family was hesitant of me. I had garnered the wolves extra attention onto the family. I had killed a human in her town. Her sister quite literally hated me and her father, whom she clearly adored, was deeply concerned by me.

I wanted to ask why she needed me but clearly my body wasn't interested in the answer. Instead of asking I kissed her again. Immediately her hands went to my hair again where she held me in place firmly. I smirked at her actions. Clearly she didn't want me to stop anytime soon. I reached around with both my hands and rubbed hers before prying them out of my hair. She whimpered ever so slightly as a result when I pulled away from our kiss and brought our now intertwined fingers to the front of us. I kissed her hands while keeping eye contact. "You know you're making it quite difficult to treat you gentlemanly." I smiled as she starred at me bashfully, unable to fight her own smile.

She shrugged before starring at me playfully. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on my shoulders as she resumed playing with the tips of my hair. She obviously knew I loved when she did that, judging by the _**SATISFACTION**_ coming off of her. I closed my eyes at the sensation and almost as soon as I did I felt her lips on my neck. This girl would be the death of me. I reveled in the softness of her lips on me. She didn't push us any farther though. She only kissed me a few times before cuddling into my neck as I held her around her shoulders and she held me around my back.

We sat for a few minutes before I spoke. I was hesitant to bring up the topic given the peace we were in now but I wanted to make sure she didn't have lingering doubts about me. "Why were you sad, darlin?" I was holding her in my lap with her legs drapped over my lap and her head tucked under my chin.

"When?"

I closed my eyes, not eager to bring it up. "When Peter and... Charlotte left."

"Oh." At least she wasn't denying it. "I was um... worried." I waited a few moments, hoping she would continue without prompt. She didn't so I projected waves of _**ASSURANCE, PATIENCE,**_ and _**CARE**_ at her in encouragement. "I was worried I'd upset you."

That threw me. What did that mean? When had I been upset... at least at her? "Upset me?" She nodded but didn't speak at first.

"When you were both talking about jealousy... You and Charlotte. You said everyone gets jealous and that you get jealous when you have reason to be." She looked up at me and I held her gaze. "You were jealous earlier. I was worried that..." She trailed off and I put the pieces together. She was worried I was angry that she had made me jealous.

 _ **AFFECTION, HUMOR, DISBELIEF.**_ I brought her head forward and kissed her through the smile I was fighting. That was what was upsetting her? She was worried that she had made me jealous and I was worried that I had made her jealous. I released her quickly and smirked when I saw a small pout on her face. "Darlin, I was jealous but it wasn't your fault." _**CONFUSION.**_

"I don't understand." I chuckled as I shook my head.

"Honestly I don't understand either. I haven't been jealous in a very long time." She didn't respond right away but nodded her head lightly in agreement.

"Since... Maria?" I tensed immediately and pulled slightly back to watch her with a guarded expression. She held her arms limply in her lap as she starred at them, avoiding my eyes. Here it was, the talk about the one thing I NEVER wanted to think about. I had closed the door on even allowing myself to think about her but it seemed Alice needed to know... something about her. Was this what she was upset about all along? Maria? I didn't know what to say. There was nothing I could say that wouldn't upset Alice further. Everything about my past with her was ugly and brutal. I watched Alice as she continued to keep her eyes averted. I hadn't relaxed my tense posture but didn't think I could right now. _**INSECURE, WORRIED, EMBARRASSED.**_ I tried to process Alice's feelings through the sheer disbelief that I felt. How could she possible feel she was less than Maria. Alice was sweet, innocent, caring, trusting, beautiful, and completely flawless. Maria was none of those things. The sheer idea that Alice could be jealous of Maria was baffling. Maria was absolutely nothing to me, whereas Alice was fast becoming everything.

"Perhaps." My response was quiet as I weighed her reaction. She nodded slowly but kept her eyes down. "Look at me." To my surprise she refused, shaking her head while keeping her head down. I tilted my head as I watched her. This amazingly perfect woman in my arms felt that she was unworthy of me somehow. That my attentions could only be temporary with her in comparison to what I had with Maria. How could she feel that way? The idea was so preposterous I didn't even know how to disagree. She had put together the obvious fact that Maria and I had been together and the thoughts were upsetting her. I wasn't picking up jealousy though, just _**SADNESS**_ , which was good at masking other emotions due to the helplessness of the emotion. "Darlin, look at me?" I asked rather than told her this time but that just seem to upset her more. She shrunk into herself. _**FEAR, SADNESS, LOSS.**_ Fear was the emotion I knew better than any. It was the emotion I used to control the newborns and the one I used to gauge most situations. For once though I was at a complete loss to the emotion. A wave of _**ANGER**_ took over me at the idea of something scaring her. She looked up, clearly sensing my hostility as her eyes were wide. "Why are you afraid?" My question was calm and methodical in tone. I was upset and unable to hide it well. The idea of her scared wasn't sitting well with me and was setting me on edge.

"It's stupid." She wouldn't hold my gaze as she responded and I was fighting the urge hard to grasp her face and force her to look at me. I NEEDED to know why she was afraid.

"Tell me."

"You were together for awhile... with her?" Her change of subject frankly pissed me off but I reigned it in, hoping I could get her to tell me if I indulged her curiosity.

"In what way are you asking?" It was a stupid question but I didn't know what she wanted to know and more importantly I didn't know why she wanted to know. If our positions were reversed I very much doubted I would want details of a male that she'd been with before me. I quickly blocked the idea before I got more enraged than I already was.

"Like how we are... I guess?" At this point I did grab her face to make her look at me. She needed to get that ridiculous idea out of her head NOW. She was no replacement.

"There has never EVER been anyone in my whole existence that was anything like what you are to me." My right hand dropped her chin where I'd grabbed her and I brought my fingers up to her hair line, playing with the black locks as my eyes gazed all over her face. She nodded but didn't say anything. "Do you believe me?" I was shocked at the insecurity in my own voice. Her eyes searched mine, not in hesitation but longing.

"Yes." Her answer was soft and I leaned in and gave her a small kiss before touching my forehead to hers.

"Maria had been watching me for awhile as a human. Apparently she thought I would make a great trainer for her army due to the training I did as a major in the confederacy." The words came out as I felt everything she radiated. _**KINDNESS, CARE, AFFECTION, INSECURITY.**_ I was going to tell Alice things I'd never told anyone. Not because she asked, not because it needed to be said but because I wanted her to know. I wanted her to know that I trusted her with this information. I trusted her with everything. She froze at my words but didn't say anything. She must have gathered how hard this was for me to share as she stroked my arms in silence and comfort as she listened. She had tucked her head under my chin before I started speaking and remained there as I continued. "She had grown weary of her prior two companions and wanted to eliminate them. She knew that she couldn't take them both on alone so she needed their replacement first. That's where I came in."

Alice held my hand in comfort and I realized my fist was clenched. It was funny how this conversation started with me trying to comfort her yet here she was taking care of me. "She turned me but kept me away from her two coven mates. I had no idea what her intentions were or what she really wanted at first. Maybe I never really knew." I spoke the last words quietly but quickly, hating how weak I felt. "I was so overwhelmed with what I had become. That on top of all the emotions swirling at me..." I closed my eyes as I thought about what it was like to feel all that newborns had to offer. "... All the rage, possessiveness, loss, confusion, and above all blood-lust." I let out a sigh as I thought back to my first few months as a newborn.

Alice held my hand in both of hers and I tried to maintain a mask on my emotions as I relived my past. The problem with being a vampire was how good our memories were. We didn't just remember the basics of something from long ago, we remembered far to much. Our memories weren't perfect of course, we lived to long to remember everything, but we retained a lot. "Maria kept me with the newborns at first, not wanting her coven to catch wind of my abilities, skills, or part in her plans." Alice continued to rub my hand and I took comfort in the gesture. "From the start Maria told me how special I was to her and how I alone could help her survive and protect her home. She was... kind to me. Quick to praise me, and as a result I was eager to do what she asked of me. I practiced my ability and honed my fighting skills to be able to take on the strongest fighters." I averted my eyes as I looked away into the forest.

"I struggled being so close to the newborns with my gift and it caused me to do things I wished... things I still wish I'd never done."

"Like what?" Her question was so quiet, yet it still felt like she was shouting at me.

"Vampires feel everything so much more than humans but newborns they feel everything even more than that. The smallest emotion can grow to something uncontrollable in the blink of an eye. I was a newborn myself, surronded by 20 or more others feeling just as out of control as me. That plus being new to my gift caused me to lose control... a lot." My eyes met hers as she looked up watching me softly with her warm eyes.

 _ **AFFECTION, ADORATION.**_ Despite my doubts that I deserved her emotional praise I continued. "I killed many of the newborns for countless reasons, none of which were good reasons. When I fed from humans early on, I was... monstrous about it." Alice immediately shook her head adamantly in disagreement as she wrapped her arms around my neck and tried to lean into me, most likely to kiss me. I averted my face, not wanting her comfort at the moment but needing her touch just the same. I reached up and stroked her arms a couple times to make sure she didn't feel rejected by my turning away. "I could feel everything my victims felt, human and vampire but I killed them just the same." My eyes met hers again and she just watched me with nothing but _**COMPASSION**_ radiating off her. I couldn't wrap my mind around how unworthy I was of her but didn't care in the moment. I grasped her fiercely and brought her face to me, our foreheads meeting as I absorbed all the good she offered, needing it like a drug. I hadn't thought of these things to this degree in so long. I felt weak, monstrous, victimized, and lost when I did but she managed to make that all seem okay. She made me feel safe.

"Maria encouraged my behaviors. She loved how scared of me the other newborns were while remaining useful and obedient. She had me and a small group of the newborns I trained kill her companions. I had spent months training them for the fight and they did everything I asked, flawlessly. After they were destroyed..." I closed my eyes for a moment before looking out the window, avoiding eye-contact. "I was ordered to destroy all the newborns that had helped." _**SHOCK, SADNESS, AFFECTION.**_ I pushed through the memories and Alice's non-judgments. Her understanding almost made it worse. "Maria didn't want them getting the idea to overthrow her as she'd done to her partners. Despite having worked with the newborns to train them, some being... friends,... I did it... because she asked me to." I was still looking away as I felt Alice pull back then pull my face forward where she cradled me close to her. I hugged her in response but avoided eye contact.

I continued relaying some of the things I'd done in my past and talked about Maria's plans and uses for me and the army. I spoke for hours to Alice about everything and she listened the whole time, occasionally asking small questions, but never with any judgments or disgust. She just listened and comforted. It was always small gestures like a rub of the arm or a light caress. She was perfect as she took the bad away just by being her.

"Did you love her?" I watched Alice as she asked the million dollar question. Her eyes were on mine and despite everything this question meant neither of us felt compelled to look away from each-other.

"Yes." I wished I could say no but that wouldn't be true. I did love Maria. That was the only reason I did what I did. When you love someone, really love them, that's the way things are. There is no task to great, no plan to monstrous. No idea to unspeakable. You will do anything for them. For Maria I'd mutilated my very soul and I paid for that each day.

"Did she love you?" Her second question was much sadder than her first. I knew my yes response had upset her but I wasn't going to lie. Alice deserved more than that.

"No." Alice's eyes widened. "Maria never loved me. She was very good at pretending though. To be honest I think she truly believed she loved me but I know she didn't."

"How do you know she didn't?" Alice watched me while I read the _**SORROW**_ rolling off her.

"You can't love someone and use, manipulate, and destroy them like she did to me."

Alice leaned in and kissed me, this time I didn't resist. She kissed me softly a few times and I let her control the kisses entirely. "You aren't destroyed." She whispered the words as I kissed her neck. I pulled back and looked at her. She was so innocent. How did she not see the bad in me? She stroked my face for a moment as her eyes watched me. "Why did you tell me?" I didn't really know how to put the answer into words. Why had I told Alice all of this? She hadn't asked and it certainly wasn't pleasant to talk about.

"Because I trust you." That was the first response that came to me but I wasn't even sure if the answer made sense. It didn't matter though because the force behind the statement was overpowering. I trusted her. It was the absolute truth and that shocked the Hell out of me. I didn't trust. The closest person I trusted was Peter and even him I didn't trust with everything. Yet here I was telling Alice everything without her having to ask. I truly trusted her, with everything I had.

She smiled widely with shock on her face before she hugged me intimately around my neck. I hugged her back and absorbed all the _**AFFECTION**_ coming from her.

We stayed intertwined for awhile after that, not speaking, but just enjoying the silence. I didn't know how long we'd been here now but the sky was darkening significantly. Eventually she got up and stood in front of me. I looked up at her in confusion while she smiled sweetly. I was about to ask what she was doing until she held her hands out to me. I grasped them without question and stood up. I stood still in front of her gazing into her eyes, not wanting to look away. She gestured with her head towards the forest before tugging me in that direction. I followed her easily as she ran. I had no idea where we were going but couldn't care less.

For a few minutes I thought maybe she just wanted to go for a run since we didn't seem to have any known destination but eventually I recognized the path as the way to my hotel. I hadn't even thought about the place since I'd used it once to shower. I continued to follow her as she halted in the woods closest to the hotel. She smiled at my confused expression before tilting her head in direction of the building.

I led the way to my room and let her in. She looked around before sitting on the bed cross legged and holding her hands out to me with a playful expression. I took them easily, fighting my own smile, before sitting with her. She continued to smiled at me brightly and I smiled back though my eyes showed my confusion. "I wanted to see your room." She shrugged simply and I smiled at her not so subtle attempt to change the subject from the woods with a change of scenery.

"How did you know where I was staying?" I gave her a pointed look and she smiled wider while shaking her head rapidly. My eyes narrowed. "Darlin..." Her eyes narrowed back playfully but her smile remained.

"Jasper..." She was mocking me. I smirked before jumping up to pin her to the bed. She laughed and maneuvered away then she ran to the bathroom on the other side of the room. I chased her and slid in before she could close the door. She let out a loud squeak and I grabbed her firmly around the waist with one arm before wrapping my hand around her mouth to stop her cry.

"Shhh... darlin you're awfully loud." I kissed the side of her neck. "I caught you now." I spoke through chuckles. I wondered if I'd ever been playful like this with anyone my whole life but decided it didn't matter. This was who I was with her. I released my hold of her mouth wrapping both arms around her waist in a tight cage. She looked at me from over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out. I shook my head and we hobbled back to the bed in our caged embraced. She laid out on the bed and I laid next to her without needing to be asked. After that we did something I hadn't ever done in my whole life. We cuddled together to watch a movie. She was truly so strangely human and I found that I loved it. The list of things I loved about this girl was becoming infinite. Alice laid down at the front of the bed and I laid behind her as we watched. Not surprisingly Alice loved romantic comedies and had put on the first one she found. She watched the movie intently while I spent most of the movie watching her and stroking her hair. I couldn't seem to stop touching her.

After the first one was over she wanted to watch another and told me I had to actually watch this one. I smirked but agreed. As we watched I started thinking about what the me from a few days ago would think of what I was doing right now. Here I was curled up in a room with my... girlfriend? Is that what Alice was? Regardless here I was with her, enjoying a human past time, movies. This felt so strange yet so perfect. I was always such a simple man, enjoying simple things but I never would have seen myself doing this, much less enjoying it.

I looked up to the screen from where my eyes had trailed off to the window watching the pitch black sky. I wondered if Alice's family was worried about her. I looked to her and my eyes widened. She had both her hands clasped under her head and her eyes were closed. She was asleep. She hadn't told me she was tired but here she was. I realized this was why she took me to my hotel room. She wanted to sleep here, with me. This was her way of showing me her trust just as I'd shown her mine.

I got up quietly and walked to the other side of the bed to lay in front of her. From here I could watch her as she slept peacefully. Normally when a vampire sleeps they didn't move at all, truly resembling death but when I moved to her front Alice moved ever so slightly closer to me till my arms, seeming to act all on their own grabbed her and held her close.

I laid there peacefully and watched her sleep. It didn't surprise me that she slept with a small smile on her face. Even asleep she was my sunshine. I reached a hand forward and stroked her face as she slept.

…...

BUZZ

I opened my eyes and saw that Alice's phone was vibrating between us, where it had fallen out of her pocket. Why were my eyes closed? As soon as I thought the question I realized I'd been asleep WITH Alice. When had I fallen asleep? I'd rarely ever slept with someone else just nearby, not even with Peter and Charlotte. The phone continued to buzz so I reached for it. The screen showed 'Mom' on the screen. I smiled before answering.

"Hello, Esme." I smiled at the silence on the other end of the phone. I could actually hear the silence coming from the others I knew were listening in on the call.

"Oh. Hello Jasper." Esme's voice was kind but there was no masking her surprise. "Is Alice there?" You would think that by now I would stop being surprised by the humanness of this family and everything surrounding them but this generic conversation was just the newest surprise added to the pile.

I reached my empty hand forward and stroked Alice's face. She was still sleeping. I glanced outside and saw the sun had risen. "She's asleep." My words were spoken softly through the awe I felt in the moment. She was placing her complete trust in me with such a simple act and I didn't know how she could put so much faith in me.

Again there was silence on the other end of the phone. I couldn't help but smirk at what was undoubtedly going through the family's mind. Was I telling the truth? Was I lying? Why would she do that? "Asleep?"

"Yes, she fell asleep a few hours ago." I heard feet moving which meant whoever it was wasn't happy and was stomping as a result. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to hear a vampires steps over the phone.

"Okay..." Something was off in Esme's tone and suddenly I was on edge.

"Is something wrong, Esme?" If only I could use my gift over the phone. I could tell something was wrong but I didn't know if she would tell me what it was.

There was no answer right away and I immediately grabbed Alice and pulled her close to me and stroked her hair as I listened for a response. "The pack called us." I relaxed but only slightly at that answer.

"And?"

"Apparently they matched the second scent they'd found on the reservation with Alice, and well..."

"They are upset." I spoke coldly. "They saw her on the field when you all met up with them, why are they commenting now?" Was that really only a couple days ago? It felt like forever.

"I suppose they didn't catch her scent then." She sounded like she wanted to calm me. What did she hear in my voice? I thought I sounded calm but clearly I wasn't.

"How did they catch it now?" I had told them to refrain being in wolf form outside their land for this very reson. I didn't want them to catch Alice's scent. Not just because I had taken her to the beach but simply because the idea that they would match HER smell with the very IDEA of harming her made me feel insanely protective.

"They didn't say." They had broken their agreement with me. I didn't need it confirmed. They had crossed the line as wolves. I was angry at that but I suppose from their point of view Alice had broken the treaty first. I was immediately angry with myself for dragging her to that beach.

"I will meet them."

"They asked to speak with us... They specifically requested you not be there." Her words were soft and kind as she tried to calm me but I frankly didn't give a shit. I was beyond pissed at this point. They viewed me as a threat, maybe as the only threat to them. If that was true they had no idea exactly how threatening I was about to become.

I laughed darkly over the phone. "I didn't ask what they wanted Esme. I will meet them in your coven's place. When and where?"

I heard Esme and Carlisle speak. He was trying to take the phone but Esme was insistent on keeping it. She was probably right in doing so as this conversation needed a cool head, which I doubted Carlisle was at the moment and I sure as hell wasn't. My eyes stayed on Alice as she slept peacefully. I grasped her tighter to myself, unable to let her go.

"When and where, Esme?" My words somehow sounded terrifying even to myself. I had never felt so much bad before. _**ANGRY, POSSESSIVE, PROTECTIVE, VIOLENT, OUT-OF-CONTROL.**_ "Please?" I added the last word in attempt to recover from the harshness in my voice. I wasn't sure it helped though.

"Jasper we can't have you meet them alone."

"You aren't having me do anything. I will take care of this as it was my fault she crossed the boundary line." This was my mess and I would fix it.

"What about Alice?" Her voice was full of love and concern. One emotion for Alice and the other for me. Again I wondered what I did to deserve the kindness from these two females of this family. Esme cared for me despite the complexities I'd brought into her life.

"She will be fine. I can have Charlotte take care of her."

"I'll come protect her. We all will." I tensed at that. I liked the Cullen's but as strange as it was, this was somewhat my home and I wasn't exactly comfortable having them all here. She must have sensed my hesitation. "How about if just Edward and myself come?" She knew her and Edward were the only members I'd formed any sort of bond with, outside of Alice.

"Okay." I relayed the address and they hung up. It may have seemed odd to not just wake Alice up but it was very hard to wake up a vampire. Our bodies went through a lot as we slept and interrupting the process caused us to get slightly ill. Well as ill as a vampire could get. Mostly we would feel horribly weak for awhile.

Esme and Edward showed up and I reluctantly let Alice go to let them in. As soon as I did Esme's eyes immediately went to Alice and she sat down with her, stroking her hair. I was immediately grateful that it was Esme doing it and not Edward. Logically I understood that Edward was her brother and not a threat to me but I was far to riled up to think logically.

"I don't think this is wise Jasper." I looked from Alice and Esme to see Edward watching me with concern.

"I don't see how I have a choice regardless."

"Just don't go alone. I can come with you, with Carlisle so that the numbers are even." Again logically I knew he was right and it was kind of him to be concerned for me but I didn't care about reason. This was my fault and I wouldn't have ANYONE pay for it. Alice especially would be free from my mistake. I wouldn't have a member of her family harmed because of what I did. It would devastate her to lose any of them, therefore it was my duty to protect them.

"At least bring Peter and Charlotte with you then." I realized I hadn't guarded my thoughts so Edward had heard me.

"No, this is my fault. I will handle it." I could see he wanted to argue but agreed reluctantly. I nodded to him. I walked back over to Alice, ignoring the two in my room as I leaned down and kissed Alice lightly on the side of her mouth before I left the room without a word.

 ** **END NOTES:****

 ** **I'M SO SO SORRY for the delay everyone. Work has been CHAOS and I've been either working or sleeping as a result. I promise the next update will be sooner than this one.****

 ** *****No lemons but lots of citrus. Hope everyone liked it and aren't getting frustrated by Jasper's gentlemanly ways. LOL****

 ** *****I know not a lot happened in this chapter but I wanted to develop Jasper and Alice together a bit instead of just him.****

 ** *****Any guesses of what's going to happen next?****

 **Chapter (SONG) Title:** **"AWAKE and ALIVE" by Skillet-** This is an amazing song. It's all about living and feeling thanks to the one person who brings you back to life. I would say this is Jasper and Alice's song for my story. It's always in the back of my head when I'm writing a scene between the two.

 ** **REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.**** **I love hearing from everyone.**


	13. Don't FEAR the Reaper

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

***PLEASE READ NOTES at the end***

 *****I told you all the next chapter would come fast to make up for the last chapter delay. Only 3 days seems fair. :-)**

 *****I left you all with a cliffhanger last chapter but I will make up for it in excitement this chapter. Here's "Don't FEAR the Reaper". :-)**

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

 **Chapter#13: Don't FEAR the Reaper**

 **JPOV**

 **PREVIOUSLY IN CHAPTER#12**

 _Esme and Edward showed up and I reluctantly let Alice go to let them in. As soon as I did Esme's eyes immediately went to Alice and she sat down with her, stroking her hair. I was immediately grateful that it was Esme doing it and not Edward. Logically I understood that Edward was her brother and not a threat to me but I was far to riled up to think logically._

 _"I don't think this is wise Jasper." I looked from Alice and Esme to see Edward watching me with concern._

 _"I don't see how I have a choice regardless."_

 _"Just don't go alone. I can come with you, with Carlisle so that the numbers are even." Again logically I knew he was right and it was kind of him to be concerned for me but I didn't care about reason. This was my fault and I wouldn't have ANYONE pay for it. Alice especially would be free from my mistake. I wouldn't have a member of her family harmed because of what I did. It would devastate her to lose any of them, therefore it was my duty to protect them._

 _"At least bring Peter and Charlotte with you then." I realized I hadn't guarded my thoughts so Edward had heard me._

 _"No, this is my fault. I will handle it." I could see he wanted to argue but agreed reluctantly. I nodded to him. I walked back over to Alice, ignoring the two in my room as I leaned down and kissed her lightly on the side of her mouth before I left the room without a word._

 **AND NOW...**

Was it possible for an otherwise healthy mind to develop a split personality? That question floated in the back of my mind as I stood high up in a tree overlooking the meet with the pack. I stood as still as stone while internally a war raged. The 150+year old methodical, strategist debating this newly awakened possessive, impulsive, dominating self. The older and wiser side wanted to approach the pack wisely and weigh their words and movements as I always did for every situation. This new part though wanted to rush the field and fight each wolf I saw.

Logic dictated that I listen to reason and never rush into a hostile situation with more hostility than my opponent or in this case opponents, plural as I wasn't stupid enough to believe that the pack would be wanting to meet the Cullen's with less then their full force. Reason versus reality was the true problem though, not my warring personalities. There was no such thing as logic with regards to Alice's safety. When it came to her well being I would move Heaven or Hell despite the impossibility of the actions.

Thinking back to the phone call with Esme made venom pool in my mouth. When she had told me that the wolves knew Alice had been on their land my world shifted. There was no hesitation in my willingness to do absolutely anything to protect her. This drive in me to serve someone with everything I had was both familiar and completely foreign. Before it had been an urge to please now it was out of true concern and care. A labor of adoration and devotion. Yes I was a pacifist as a general rule due to having had more than my fill of aggression in the past but the truth was if these wolves wanted a fight, I would be giving them one ten fold. They had awoken something in me I'd never seen before and I didn't know what I was capable of doing if they pushed me...

I saw as the wolves all approached the meeting place. It should be interesting to have a conversation with them without a translator. _**HESITATION, ANGER, AGGRESSION.**_ It radiated from the wolves and I released a growl thinking that ANY of those violent feelings could be geared towards Alice. I was so blinded by the rage I felt, not theirs but MINE, that I almost missed an underlying emotion behind the others. _**SMUGNESS.**_ That was odd. They knew something that the Cullen's didn't and if they didn't know I certainly didn't.

We were meeting in the middle of the forest this time, no real clearing to get a good view of each-other. Their choice of location didn't escape my mind, even in my agitated state. Vampires were faster overall runners then these wolves as we didn't have the bulk they did making us more agile. but our speed was much slower with obstacles, such as trees, and there were a lot of them. Here they would have more of an advantage as agility and speed would be less useful then sheer force. They had planned for a fight... my growling intensified. I had a visual of Alice in that forest with the wolves gazing at her. Suddenly I saw red and didn't know how to calm myself. I wanted to rush forward and kill the first wolf I met but instead conjured up the last time I saw Alice. She was sleeping with that soft smile on her face and it soothed me to know that she was safe. I held onto the memory of what it was like to hold her as she slept then I lowered myself from the tree and approached the hostile group of wolves.

…...

I approached quietly from downwind, just as I had before, not wanting to let them in on my presence just yet. Luckily the wind was calm so they couldn't catch any hint of my approach. I took in their posture and each wolf looked posed for a fight. Granted they always looked ready for a fight but this was different, they seemed organized, the hostility had structure behind it and was clearly not the result of an emotional outburst.

"Your pack is early Sam." All the wolves turned as I stood against the tree, forcing myself to look as calm as they always saw me, despite feeling the exact opposite. _**SURPRISE, WORRY, HESITANCE, CONFUSION.**_ It calmed me slightly to know that my presence had so obviously thrown them off. The wolves had already proved that they were easy to beat without a plan, so I knew this could only be good news.

The wolves all stood about 20 feet in front of me with each of them well spaced out yet still angled together. I walked forward calmly and all three tensed as I walked within just inches of Jared who was closest to my chosen path. I walked past him without acknowledging his presence and walked straight past them all with confidence. As I did so I revealed my back for a few paces until I turned and stood against a tree on the other side of them. It was difficult and against every instinct I had to have given them my back but I needed to. By walking past them, I gave the message that I didn't fear them in the slightest. The action also made me appear cocky and impulsive. This would register in their minds that I would be easier to defeat than their earlier thoughts because of my arrogance. Due to this they may drop their guard a bit. Sam's eyes followed me and I could tell he was debating turning human to translate.

"I have to say that this is a difficult conversation to have with only one of us speaking." My face held humor but my voice held a clear edge. "However that means the conversation will be over twice as fast." They all looked at each-other then back at me.

"You wanted to speak with the Cullen's, not me." I desperately wanted to get to the point but my logical side needed to feel the mood and process their reactions. I paced calmly in front of them as I glanced in their direction briefly not keeping any focus on them. They needed to believe I didn't see them as a threat. They were nodding in response but I studiously ignored them. "They will not be coming. You will be dealing with me." I heard a growl and stopped all my movements. I raised my head slowly and purposely with my eyes full of malice and locked eyes with Paul who was the source of the growl. "That wasn't something for you to argue. That is simply HOW-IT-IS." My last three words were slow and dangerous and neither of the three responded in any way.

"You are angry that one of the Cullen's was on your land, despite the briefness of their visit." I didn't look up but heard them shift slightly. I crossed my hands in front of myself but stayed put now, glancing between all three. "That was my doing. I had just gotten here and requested the help to show me the land." All three growled slightly but for all our sake's I ignored them. "I didn't know anything about your clan or the treaty you had with their group otherwise I would have thought twice over my decision." I couldn't honestly say that I wouldn't have brought her because looking back on the visit on the beach, playing with her in the water, watching the sun together, her touching my arms easily, her smiling at my scars like there was nothing strange about them. All of it combined was now one of my fondest memories. How can you wish to take back something that meant so much?

I was surprised when not just Sam but each wolf went to the trees and came back human. They stood close together now and I kept my face cold and empty as I watched them, wondering when they would speak. "This has nothing to do with you. This was a violation a CULLEN made against us, not you." Sam's words were harder than expected. I had expected him to at least pretend to be civil in how he approached my interest in the subject. My body tensed as I tried to rein in the urge to growl.

"Consider me an interested third party." My words held a bit of growl to them but the wolves... now men, didn't seem to notice or care. All three watched me with clenched jaws.

"What interest is it to you?" Jared spoke and I could see the wheels turning in his mind.

I shrugged non-nonchalantly. "The Cullen's are friends of mine. I wish no trouble for them, especially from my own actions." I spoke casually with great difficulty as a part of me was taking all their hostility as a true threat against Alice.

"What of her actions? She did not wish to explain herself? At least to protect her family? She'll let others pay for her choice?" I felt my body quiver at Sam's inference that Alice was either a coward or a user. She was most certainly neither. I thought of how she had hugged me, a stranger covered in scars with no fear. No coward would do that. I thought of how she loved her sire truly as a father not a friend, as well as each of her family as just that, FAMILY. None were coven members to her. She didn't use them, she loved them. The accusation brought up memories of Maria and how much of a user she truly was.

A growl escaped me and all three tensed while holding looks displaying different emotions.

SAM- _**SURPRISE**_

JARED- _**CONFUSION**_

PAUL- _**AGGRESSION**_

I disguised my growl by smiling through it. "Don't make assumptions, alpha. You know very little" That was completely true. These wolves knew only the safe world of their little reservation by the sea. He didn't know what bravery, cowardice, love, and hate truly were. He was going to respond but I cut him off. My control was at a breaking point already and if any of them said something against Alice again I didn't know what I would do. I would be able to handle insults against me, but not her. Even the smallest unkindness made me want to attack. "As I was saying it was MY insistence that caused the violation, MY choice, therefore you will deal with ME."

"Our... agreement was made after the offense..." Jared spoke in confusion so I jumped at his words.

"Precisely. I had crossed the border when I knew nothing of your pack." I smirked as they talked themselves into this wall. "And if my memory serves properly, we already DISCUSSED that. Did we not?" I smirked as Paul flinched. I made sure to watch him, letting him know I saw his discomfort.

"This discussion doesn't involve you! We will speak with the Cullen's, or just the one that violated the treaty." I rushed forward and grabbed Jared around the throat as soon as the words were out of his mouth. I felt a vibration and for a moment I thought it was Jared currently dangling from my grasp but I realized it was me. There was a whisper in the back of my head telling me to stop but the whisper meant nothing next to the scream telling me to attack him. I saw his words as a threat against Alice. An image of her; small, kind, inexperienced and innocent with these wolves posed to strike clicked into my head and I couldn't get it out.

I pulled him close to me so I could stare into his wide eyes. I knew my expression was completely dead as his eyes widened in terror at it. I heard the other two shift but they stayed back. I wasn't sure why but didn't care enough to remove my gaze. He couldn't shift due to me limiting his air supply. I couldn't help but think how easy it would be to kill him right now. I had his throat in a death grip, the slightest bit more pressure and I'd either suffocate him or rip his throat out.

A new image of Alice came to my mind. An image of her reaction if I killed this boy. She would most likely forgive me, her heart kind and precious enough to do that but I knew she would be disappointed. I flexed my jaw and dropped him to the ground, He slumped a little but didn't get up. I kept my position and looked up the wolves.

My eyes widened as I saw not one, or two, but three more wolves on the field. My eyes went to Sam and his were trained on Jared, slumped on the field. I glanced down at him, realizing that right now having him at my mercy was the only reason they hadn't attacked me. My eyes went to each new wolf. One was a warm bright brown color and was quite large, almost as big as Sam, the other two were small and slim with one having silver coloring and the other one with light brown coloring. I starred at each as I appraised the situation.

Where had they come from? Was this the plan? Meet the Cullen's with the known pack members then bring out the 3 surprises? I stiffened when I realized why they had summoned the Cullen's here without me. Why they wanted... ALICE here. I growled at all of them and crouched slightly. They had intended to lure the Cullen's here and kill them through the element of surprise. Their numbers matched the coven. If I came the numbers were in the Cullen's favor.

"You intended to kill them." My words were not a question. All the wolves tensed and looked to Sam who was watching me, but with a few glances towards Jared.

I crouched down and grabbed Jared again, lifting him high for all of them to see. "Do you think I need him to feel safe from you all?!" My voice was raised louder then I'd spoke in a very long time. I didn't know if I spoke more out of anger or disbelief. All of them growled but my eyes stayed on the Alpha. They thought I was using Jared as a safeguard against them attacking. "How about I give him back to you?" I held him towards the pack and they all crouched menacingly though Sam stood tall with intense _**FOCUS**_ radiating off him. He looked away from me to the large new wolf. A silent communication went between them before Sam disappeared and came back human. He stood with the 4 other wolves and starred at me. I was still holding his comrade out to him mockingly but with a cold expression.

"My word is my bond. I will not initiate any attack against your tribe. However that does not mean that I will take an attack lying down. I will defend myself. Consider this your one and only warning not to try my patience. Next attack, you will lose one of your brothers maybe both." His eyes narrowed and I kept my gaze on him.

"You attacked Jared first." How childish. If he wanted to play a game of who threw the first stone I could play too.

"Firstly who attacked me first, completely unprovoked when all I had done was see to a young girl getting home SAFELY?" Paul flinched and I saw his eyes flash to Jared. "I let that slide and even saved your comrades from death at the hands of two other vampires?" I tilted my head as he processed my words. "Where was any gratitude for my mercy? Something I RARELY give." I tried my best to block out Maria's teachings about mercy but occasionally it showed as a part of me viewed mercy as weakness, just as Maria had taught me it was. "And I will remind you that was the SECOND time I granted you that, despite attacking me first both times."

Sam went to speak but I continued. My eyes went up to Jared then to Sam. "Secondly, I didn't attack first, not really." Again Sam went to object but I ignored him. "You brought 3 additional members to an alleged peaceful negotiation to SURPRISE the Cullen's with. To what purpose would you do that if not to gear up to attack a group intent on PEACE with you."

"They would do the same if we violated the treaty." So he didn't deny it. Good. I despised liars.

"What is there for you to violate? The Cullen's gave your people everything in the treaty. Out of respect for your concerns over your people. You give nothing but distrust and betrayal back." The delusions of grandeur the pack had was never more frustrating. "The Cullen's give you far more leniency then they should." I looked at Jared in mock contemplation then looked back to Sam. "Perhaps I've been to lenient as well. Perhaps it's time to show you how monstrous I can truly be." I didn't know if I was being honest in this moment or just testing their reactions. Truthfully I did want to kill them. I wanted to decimate their numbers so they could never pose a threat to Alice again.

The smallest wolf whimpered and I watched his eyes. There was something different about this wolf. There was innocence and warmth there the others lacked. His eyes reminded me of Alice's in the sense of displaying overwhelming GOODNESS. He looked back at me and I was surprised to see no hatred in his brown eyes. _**PLEADING.**_ He was silently imploring that I not hurt his friend. He didn't know I could read his emotions but he was pleading just the same. I tilted my head as we looked at each-other.

The other unknown wolf near him, the silver one growled at my interest in the smallest one. My eyes went to the silver one and I was surprised to realize this one was female. Alice had told me the spirit warriors were all male in the past, apparently that had changed. "You act so noble, while casting your blind judgments against my kind... against a clan that does nothing but help humans... even you, despite your unworthiness." My eyes were back on Sam.

"Allow me to be the bigger person here... again." My voice was filled with disgust as I watched Sam for a few more moments. My eyes went to the small wolf. "Come get your companion, young one." I didn't know his name but I could tell he was young. His size showed that plus, he lacked the cynicism most adults had. He froze as he watched me. He looked to Sam who was starring at him, then his eyes went to the last unknown wolf, the large brown one. That wolf shook his head at the smaller one but the small one tossed his head in disagreement. He went to the trees and came back human. I was quite surprised by his small size and clear youth. He couldn't have been much older than 13 or 14.

Without hesitation he began to walk towards me slowly. His eyes were trained on Jared who was almost unconscious. The whole group was frozen as they watched what the young one and I would do. He stopped about 3 feet from me and looked up into my eyes. I returned his gaze and we watched each-other for a moment. _**WORRY, CURIOSITY, FEAR.**_ His first emotion was for his companion in my grasp, his second was for me along with the last emotion he felt. It was inspiring that he thought of his companion first despite his closeness to me. I could tell he'd never even seen a vampire before yet here he stood next to a red-eyed one starring intently at him.

He took a deep breath before holding his left hand out to me, knowing that my right was occupied with his friend. "Seth Clearwater." I tilted my head as I appraised him. He truly was trying to be a bigger person here, there was only sincerity in his tone. A small smile escaped as I thought of the wisdom this young boy had. The pack could benefit from someone like him leading them. I held my hand out to him and we shook. His temperature was like fire compared to my ice cold skin. To his credit he didn't tremble at our closeness nor did he act disgusted by my temperature.

"Jasper Whitlock." He nodded to me and I returned it. We released each-other quickly and I shifted Jared over to Seth. Seth lifted Jared's arm over his shoulder and they walked away slowly toward the rest of the group. He struggled under the weight of his much larger brother but held his own. Seth went over to the female wolf who stood on the other side of Jared to help support the weight. We all watched as the three left leaving just the remaining 3 wolves and me.

…...

To say things were awkward after the three left was an understatement. Nobody seemed to know what to say, myself included. The two still in wolf form kept glancing back in the direction Seth, Jared, and the unknown female had left. I took that to mean they were expecting them back. Sam just watched me as though he was expecting me to say something. I continued to watch him and eventually he turned to the other two and both left, returning in human form. Paul's feelings of _**DISGUST, ARROGANCE, and ANGER**_ could rival Rosalie's in the moment. The unknown wolf, now boy was also young though not as young as Seth. He was maybe 15 or 16 with long black hair and an almost kind face, except his eyes, which were cold.

The three stood close together with their arms crossed as they watched me. My posture was similar except that while they stood ramrod straight with hostility radiating off them I stood much more relaxed. I didn't know what to make of their behavior. Sam knew I had taken on three of the pack before and won. He was at a disadvantage now as all three here were in human form. Plus I gathered that the newest wolves were the least experienced.

"The suspense is killing me." I smirked through my sarcasm. "What do you want now Alpha? As your plan to launch a sneak attack against the Cullen's has been ruined." I tried to smile through the words but whenever I said Cullen's or thought of them it was Alice's image my mind formed. No attack, however hypothetical, against her could ever be amusing to me.

He flexed his jaw at my words. "We still need to discuss the transgression against the treaty WITH the one who violated it." I hissed and the other two crouched.

"I have already told you that you would be dealing with me, not the Cullen's. This was not a request." I had crouched in response to the other two. They all needed to stop discussing Alice. My instincts couldn't seem to handle it. Sam stood his ground as he gestured for the other two to stand up straight. He shook his head at me clearly trying to communicate that it didn't work that way.

"You do not speak for them or this particular... vampire." I growled but he spoke through my anger. "I would think you would appreciate someone speaking for themselves." He gave me a pointed look and the logical side of me thought he had a point. If this was Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, or even Esme that had violated the treaty with me I would let them speak for themselves. I would have accompanied any of them in this hypothetical instance since it was my prodding that caused the violation but this was different. This was ALICE. I knew she would always be held outside of other rules, instincts, impulses, experiences, and beliefs. She was more important than any prior patterns I displayed or words I'd spoken. She was more, she was...

"Do you agree or not?" My mind was cut off by his words.

"Do you honestly believe that I trust you enough to allow such a thing?" I scoffed at the sheer idea. "I have given you countless chances and numerous displays of mercy yet you pulled this stunt." My voice was calm as I shoot a meaningful look at the unknown boy, then my eyes drifted to where the other three had left.

"Perhaps our... preparations were misguided."  
"Misguided?" I didn't know if I should laugh or attack him instantly for the word. "Many would consider your actions to be an act of war." All three flinched at my words so I continued. "Do you think I can not see the planning behind the aggression? You didn't want me here because you wanted even numbers against the Cullen's. You wanted a, in your eyes, FAIR..." I laced the word with a lot of sarcasm. "... chance to beat them." He didn't object and to be honest it pissed me off. "You knew I was the strongest one of the 7 of us, given their tendency to avoid aggression at all costs."

"You seem to forget it was you who implied you don't speak for the Cullen's. You said that you didn't want to insult the peace our two clans had formed over the decades. That the agreement between our two groups was separate from them." Paul spoke with obvious annoyance and I chuckled.

"I also said that the Cullen's had my respect, something you didn't. They are friends of mine. Do you think I would sit back while you tried to hurt them?" I shook my head at the short-shortsightedness they showed and that they obviously expected me to have as well. "Even if I hated them I wouldn't sit back and allow it." They all three gave off waves of _**CONFUSION**_ from my words. "I can do math Alpha." I rolled my eyes at the three. "If you took out the Cullen's I would be in these lands outnumbered against your pack of mutts." I didn't initially intend to insult them but my patience was wearing thin. I glanced at he sky and saw the sun rising. Alice could wake soon and I wanted to be with her not here with them.

"Much like you are now?" The unknown wolf spoke and my eyes zeroed in on him.

"To be honest, I'm quite done being the mediator here. I'm tired of putting up with your entire species. If you want a fight I will give you one. A real one. No more hesitance, no more pausing as soon as I get one of you wolves in my grip. I will kill every single one of you that charge me from this point on. Does that sound good to you Alpha?" I spoke to Sam but my eyes were on the impulsive new one. His eyes widened and went to Sam who was watching me with fear and focus coming off him potently.

Sam was weighing his words but I was done hearing from him. "If you want to talk about transgressions how about your group crossing the line in wolf form." Sam's eyes widened at my words. "I know you caught Alice's scent after our little meet in the forest. The only way you could have caught her scent to match to the one at the beach was if you had smelled her over the line. This means that you were over there as wolves, at least one of you, though I know your group doesn't patrol alone." I paced slightly while watching them. "So who was it? You alpha? Jared? Paul? I figure it's not the newer three because they didn't catch her scent from the beach initially" My eyes narrowed as the three didn't respond. "...OR was it all of you? As though waiting for their signal, Seth and the female reappeared. Seth as a human while she remained a wolf. The other three relaxed at the sight of them while I acted like they weren't there. I kept my eyes on the other three.

"Are we to early, General?" I turned in time to see Charlotte and Peter emerge and come to my side. Peter went to my right, Charlotte to my left. I didn't know if I was relieved to see them or angry. I was used to fighting my own battles but at the same time I was tired of being alone all the time. I glanced at Peter in aggravation and he held up his hands while sporting a smirk. "We went to visit you and Edward told us where you went." I growled. "In his defense he told us you wanted to be alone." Peter shrugged and Charlotte chuckled.

"We just didn't want to listen." I shot her an annoyed look and she smiled kindly. They immediately went serious and looked to the pack. "Wow. Did the pack of dogs get bigger?" She almost sounded confused but I could hear the anger in her words. She'd put together that they had hidden their numbers from us.

"While we argue numbers did your coven of one suddenly grow by two?" Paul spoke and I ignored him. I'd already explained them to Sam. I wouldn't do it again. I watched the new wolves appraise my companions and _**DISCOMFORT, WORRY, and CURIOSITY**_ reigned from everyone in the forest now. Paul's eyes were trained on Charlotte and he glanced at me. I tensed wondering what he was thinking.

"Have you had a mate this whole time, Leech?" To my surprise it was the new wolf that spoke, not Paul. I almost laughed at the insult. A blood sucking insect, how original. Granted I'd called them mutts but since they were half dog and half human my insult was at least accurate. His voice was dripping in disgust. He knew nothing of the sacredness of a vampire mating bond. It was unbreakable and for this young ignorant fool to speak of such a thing the way he was caused me to feel violent, HORRIBLY violent.

"Do NOT speak of something your mind knows NOTHING of, child." I knew he was referring to Charlotte but my mind thought of Alice. For his venom to be directed towards her was unthinkable. I had no official claim on her but that didn't stop the need to protect her, to defend her, to guard even her reputation.

He laughed and I growled. Paul laughed with him. "I thought you creatures mated for life?" My eyes went to Paul who spoke now. "I was beginning to suspect you had feelings for the Cullen leech, Alice."

"Oh Shit!" I barely registered Peter's voice as my mind disappeared. I charged after Paul with singular focus. I grabbed him around the neck and slammed him into the closest tree which immediately cracked and groaned under the force. I heard another approach me and I turned quickly to throw Paul at whoever it was. It was the unknown male, now a wolf, and they both hurled into another tree. I charged forward to them both and reached them as Paul had shifted in mid air.

I heard growls and fighting behind me but didn't care. I saw Alice's face in my mind. I saw images of her embracing me and felt the sensations in my mind of her kissing me. The more I thought of her, the more out-of-control I got. For them to speak of such a perfect being in such disgust was fueling my rage that I had no ability to control. I didn't want to control it. I wanted to hurt them. I wanted to END them. The unknown male was stronger than Paul but slower. He charged without thinking and I grabbed him firmly with both hands, one to his jaw and the other to his side. I dug my hands in and heard him cry. I pivoted and threw him in the direction of the other wolves I heard fighting Peter and Charlotte. We had fought together for a long time. They knew my style enough to dodge. I didn't even have to check to know that I'd hit two wolves with the throw. I turned to Paul and slammed him to a tree again.

I starred at him with complete hatred. I had never wanted to kill someone more than I did in this moment. I heard a small whimper of pain and glanced over to see Charlotte with a strong grip over Seth's throat. "Fuck!" I tossed Paul and charged toward Charlotte. I calmly placed my hand over her hand and she immediately dropped her grasp, without question. A tiny part of me was grateful for her allegiance to me. She never questioned my orders or methods. Peter did on rare occasion, but not her.

"STOP!" I yelled the word and everyone froze. My eyes sought out Paul who was standing away from the action, where I'd thrown him. I released Seth gently and checked that he was okay. He was terrified but nodded weakly in my unspoken question of concern. I immediately made my expression show the hatred I'd had a moment ago as my eyes went back to Paul. I walked right up to him and to his credit he understood the danger he was in. He stepped back but I reached forward grabbing his throat and slamming him to the tree behind him. My force was unwavering but movements slow. He could tell this was a threat, no where near what I could do.

"NEVER speak of her again, mutt. If you do it will be the last words you ever speak." _**SHOCK, FEAR, UNDERSTANDING**_ came from the wolves after I spoke.

"She's your..." He choked and I tightened my grip.

"She's MINE." I turned from the tree and tossed him along the ground toward his pack. "You don't need to know anything else."

I turned and left at full speed. I was done with them. If I stayed even one more minute I was going to kill one of them. I heard Peter and Charlotte follow but there wasn't a single part of me that cared. I felt _**SURPRISE**_ _ **and**_ _ **CONFUSION**_ from them as I didn't head towards my hotel room. I went deeper into the forest until I heard what I was looking for, a heartbeat.

...

I turned sharply at the sound and still heard them following me though they slowed considerably. I didn't care if they followed or not. The beat was coming from the trees so I jumped up. As I jumped from a few trees I came face to face with a large puma. I'd never been close to one before but didn't dwell on it. Quick as a flash I jumped on the creature, sending us both tumbling down to the ground, taking out a couple branches with us. The sound, which I knew was loud, didn't even register in my mind. My mind thought only of blood, of finding control. My focus was singular. We hadn't even reached the ground before I sunk my teeth into the creature. I drained it quickly and without mercy before I was up running again in search of more blood.

I didn't know if the need to feed was from how much emotions I'd read, the threats towards Alice, the mini fights I'd had with the pack, the interactions with Alice I'd had prior to all this ugly, or maybe it was everything that had rendered me so blood thirsty at this moment. Regardless of the reasons I needed more blood. I didn't need or care for the reasons, I simply NEEDED to feed. I heard another couple heartbeats and found a couple deer walking slowly through the trees. I jumped the first one I saw, breaking it's neck instantly before launching myself at the second to drain it quickly. As soon as I was done I went back and drained the first one.

My body shook with everything I was feeling... that I was experiencing, and every thought I was processing. After a few minutes of deep breathing I calmly got up from the ground. I felt stronger but just as lost as before I fed. I wondered if I looked as distraught as I felt in the moment. Was I even careful as I fed? Was I covered in blood? I hadn't even slowed down enough to taste the animals yet alone be careful not to make a mess. I slowly dug a large hole for the two animals. My senses returned enough through the physical labor that I remembered the third body I needed to dispose of. I dug the hole extra deep and went back to retrieve the body of the puma I'd drained. I threw all three into the hole before covering it. As soon as it was done my mind caught up with me and everything that had happened. What had I done? I told the wolves Alice was mine. I hadn't even told her that yet. I hadn't even allowed MYSELF to accept such a thing yet. Yet? Had some part of me known my feelings this whole time?

I slunk down next to the hole and leaned against the tree. It was a good thing I didn't actually need to breathe as if I did my staggered breaths would have caused me to pass out from lack of oxygen. "Are you okay?" I looked up from where I was sitting against the tree with my arms rested on my knees. I was sure they'd never seen me look so... whatever I was at the moment but to their credit they didn't seem to dwell on their surprise. I only felt _**CONCERN**_ from them. Peter and Charlotte stood there but it was Charlotte that had spoke. I nodded but didn't look at them further than a passing glance, instead averting my eyes in the direction of my hotel... in the direction of Alice.

Charlotte came over and sat next to me. For once she didn't try to touch me in comfort. That would have been a normal thing for her to do but she knew such things made me uncomfortable. The only person who's touch could calm me right now was Alice. Why was I here again?

"So... you feed from animals now?" Peter spoke with slight **_HUMOR_** but mostly his voice held **_CONCERN_**. I tried to smirk in response but couldn't make my mouth move at all. Instead I nodded while keeping my eyes in the direction of Alice. They were both silent and if I had bothered to look at them I knew they would be having the silent conversation thing they always did with each-other.

"Is this what you need?" There was no judgments in Charlotte's words, no doubt, just concern. Her words were an interesting choice. What I needed? What did she mean exactly? Animal blood? Vegetarian friends? Neighboring hostile wolf-men?...Alice?

"Yes." There was no hesitation as I answered thinking of Alice. She was all I needed. Everything else was nothing I couldn't replace, but her... I couldn't replace her. I glanced at Charlotte and she was nodding softly while smiling at me gently.

"I'm happy for you Jasper." It was unusual for either of them to refer to me by my name. I was always 'general' to them which showed how serious she was. I nodded but didn't respond as my eyes went back to the direction of Alice. She laughed and so did Peter. I glanced at them and Peter nodded his head in the direction I had been looking.

"So what are you still doing here?" He was playfully mocking me. I nodded then got up and ran full speed back toward Alice.

 **END NOTES:**

***Is it ironic that the 13th chapter is named after the Grim Reaper? I honestly didn't plan that.

***How will Jasper take this little surprise in himself?***

***Don't get mad at the lack of Jasper/Alice time. If you still feel _**RAGE**_ read chapter 12 again. lol

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Don't fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult- Honestly if anyone hasn't heard this song, do you live under a rock? I'm just kidding but it is one of my all time favorites. It's a strangely emo yet uplifting song about death. It's about how changes happen and death is one of them so don't fear it. There is a darkness to the song about not just excepting death but welcoming it though, giving it an ominous feeling. This song works great on a few levels for this chapter. If you go with Tarot readings the death card means change and Jasper certainly has a lot of that right now.

 **REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS CHAPTER. I really loved this one.


	14. Take CARE

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

***PLEASE READ NOTES at the end***

 **-Beautiful but ominous title. You'll just have to read to find out... ;-) *Wink Wink* ;-)**

 **-I haven't gotten many responses of late. :-( :-( :-( I hope everyone is still happy with the direction of the story.**

***WARNING*** The Citrus in this chapter may be a bit more in the MATURE over TEEN direction.

 **Chapter#14: Take CARE**

 **JPOV**

I ran without hesitation, back to Alice. Would she still be asleep? In the grand scheme of things I knew it didn't matter if I saw her first or if I was even there when she woke. We would see each-other eventually and that was all that mattered. Again logic lost to all that was new to me though. I wanted to be there when she woke up. I wanted her to wake in my arms. I wanted to see her eyes open and be the first to see her smile.

As I approached my hotel room I could tell she hadn't woken. Her breathing was shallow and light, signaling that she was unconscious. It was actually incredible that I could hear her at all with how soft her breaths came. Despite this I heard her over the other two in the room that were awake. Since vampires didn't actually need to breathe we didn't do it much in our sleep. It was mostly reserved as a defense mechanism since we couldn't smell without breathing. I got to my room and Esme smiled in greeting but my eyes went straight to Alice, laying next to her mother who sat perched beside her on the far side of the bed.

Alice was curled into herself deeply and her smile wasn't there. She didn't look sad exactly just not happy. I frowned and without a word or glance to either of them I went to the bed and knelled on the ground beside her, stroking her cheek gently. Almost immediately she smiled softly and I smiled in response.

I continued to gaze at her, lost in her presence, as she slept soundly. I wasn't so lost that I forgot the other two were here, though I hadn't even looked at Edward yet, but they certainly weren't of any concern to me. "Is everything okay?" Esme spoke softly. I shrugged while not taking my eyes off Alice.

"Yes and no. I'm fairly certain that the wolves will leave Alice alone now though. That's what matters." I smirked as Alice crinkled her face slightly in her sleep.

I heard Esme exhale and Edward step closer to the three of us. I immediately tensed at his approach. I wanted to berate myself for acting this way around him but I couldn't seem to help it. Another male near her, particularly in her vulnerable state, was excruciating. He halted and I knew that he'd heard my thoughts. I focused a bit more on blocking him but it was hard since my mind was everywhere. "What happened?" _**CONCERN**_ was the singular emotion coming from him as he spoke.

I chuckled with zero humor. "The wolves didn't appreciate me coming in your clans place... in Alice's place." I shook my head as I pushed back the aggression.

"Did they attack you?" _**WORRY**_ Esme was worried for me and I smiled in earnest at her question. Edward had made a wide circle to the other side of the bed to stand with his mother, though he kept a distance from the bed.

"Yes and no... again."

"What does that mean?" _**HESITATION.**_ That was typically Carlisle's go-to emotion which made me have an idol thought of whether or not a sire can pass on a trait to their creations. Edward acted a great deal like him, but without the senseless compassion. He cared but he wasn't led with blind faith either. I could respect that.

"I actually attacked first... both times." I glanced up and saw both of them exchange shocked glances. _**WORRY,**_ came from both of them now so I knew that they were wondering what had led to me attacking first, as well as what the result was. We hadn't known each-other long but they knew I didn't attack first. They were anxious for details but I needed to go slow to stave off the feelings that had caused the problems to begin with.

"Perhaps we should discuss this with everyone after Alice wakes up?" Esme spoke calmly with _**LOVE**_ radiating from Alice's name. I smiled and nodded, still keeping my eyes on Alice. They left after that, Edward saying he would tell Carlisle everything was okay.

No sooner had the door closed, I laying with Alice. Immediately she curled into me and I wrapped my arms around her back tightly. She curled her head into my chest and I sighed deeply while closing my eyes. I wasn't going to deny the truth in my words when I'd spoken to Paul. It wasn't idol and it wasn't a deception spoken to get my way. I was never much for dishonesty though apparently I was quite good at lying to myself. Looking at Alice as she curled into me I didn't know how I didn't see how special she really was to me. I'd known she was the most beautiful creature I'd ever met, inside and out. I'd known that she was far to good for me. I'd known that I wanted to be better because of her... for her. I looked down and stroked her face.

How did I not see what was happening between us? Every inch of my body wanted her. I suppose it would be easy to dismiss this and explain it as sexual attraction but I knew that I wanted so much more than her body. I certainly wanted her body, even now with everything going on in my head, I knew I wanted that. I want it all though. I want her mind, her spirit, her energy, everything. Aside from the wants what I need is her heart. Does she feel the same for me? I know she cares for me but she cares for everyone. That's one of the things I love about her just as it's also the thing that aggravates me.

Does she care for me as much as she does her family? I wouldn't dilute myself enough to think she cared for me more than them, seeing as they were her family but the truth was I wanted her to. I wanted to be her everything, just as she was mine. If the world turned black I would get past it so long as I had her by my side. Maybe that was wrong. Maybe it was bad that everything else I had, however little that was, meant nothing compared to her, but it was the truth.

I felt overwhelmingly vulnerable when I considered that I might not mean as much to her as she did to me. It didn't matter in the end because what I felt was irreversible. Was that sad? Was it bad that even if her feelings weren't the same I would keep mine regardless? Maybe I truly was a masochist or perhaps a cynic because I didn't think that way. I believed that maybe that was what love was. Truly it had to be unconditional. I would have to love her even if she didn't love me.

 _ **LOVE.**_ I could feel it in me. My body clenched and shook ever so slightly under the weight of the emotion. I had done everything in my power to avoid this emotion for a couple decades but now I could feel it. It was different now. Before I felt eager and determined because of it. I had wanted to please and impress Maria but that's not how this felt. I didn't feel eagerness or determination. Those emotions felt shallow compared to this. My feelings now were so much deeper, there was _**DEVOTION, FEAR, POWER, WEAKNESS, PEACE, HAPPINESS.**_ I smiled at how I could feel such opposite things at the same time. The old me would be rejecting this, questioning it but I couldn't anymore, I didn't even want to. This is what my pixy had done to me and I wasn't going to deny it, especially to myself.

I brought my face closer to hers as I continued to stroke her face gently. I hoped I wasn't being to rough with her. I shook my head and smirked at my absurd thoughts. She was a vampire and it was a gentle caress. Why would that be to rough? I was always so worried she could break though. Was this because of what I was? Was it because she was so small? Was it because of who she was, beautiful and kind? Or was it for the most likely reason? The urge to protect her was only growing in me. Even from my own touches my mind focused on using the utmost care to ensure she was safe at all times.

I watched her for a long time and she seemed to relax considerably because she smiled a little more and stopped all movements, clearly relaxed. I continued to stroke her face with my hand, unable to stop touching her. I wanted so badly to kiss her but didn't want to wake her. The sunshine was coming from the window brightly so I got up and closed the blinds. As soon as I turned around I saw her beginning to stir. I ran to her at full speed, not wanting to be away from her when she woke. I curled back into her as her eyes began to flutter. I stroked her face and smiled as she scrunched her nose up slightly.

Her eyes fluttered open and I smiled at her bright golden eyes. "Good afternoon, Darlin." She smiled while averting her gaze downward and pursing her mouth cutely. I grabbed her face softly and brought her eyes up to mine. "You're so beautiful when you sleep." I smiled a little more as she coyly smiled in response to my words. I stroked her brow and held her cheek before speaking again. "Though I must say, I certainly missed your eyes." True to form she got shifty from my words and tried to pull away in embarrassment. She was so cute I couldn't resist anymore. I leaned in and captured her mouth before she could pull away.

Within a couple seconds or maybe just one, I rolled myself on top of her as she simultaneously wrapped her arms around my neck. My lower half rested between her open legs and I tried not to dwell on that but it was very difficult to do. She made soft humming sounds that just spurred me on further. I pressed my body tightly to hers as I tilted my head to kiss her deeper. She opened her mouth slightly and I responded by easing my tongue very gently into her mouth, causing a soft gasp to come from her. She slowly met her tongue with mine and the sensation was overwhelming.

My left arm laid on the bed beside her head, with my hand lightly touching her hair, while my right hand held her face to mine. I considered pulling my weight off her but since she clutched me tight I figured she must like my weight. Her arms held true, grasped tightly around my neck and I moved my right hand to her arm, stroking it up and down repeatedly. I shifted my head more as the kiss deepened even more and moans escaped us both. Hers were soft and seductive while mine were deep and dominating, almost a growl.

Each time we kissed it seemed to become less and less enough for us. Originally I had little desire to deepen things but now that's all I could think about. I wanted her badly and it was becoming harder and harder to ignore. _**LUST, DESPERATION, FEAR...**_ She was nervous, I could tell from her shaking body, imperceptible to a human but obvious to me. What was strange was that I couldn't sense much nerves from her, she seemed to be disguising her feelings a bit. I didn't think it was on purpose as hiding how one feels is next to impossible. Instead I think she was both confused by and lost in her feelings, causing it to be next to impossible to read them all as she didn't fully know what she felt.

I pushed aside analyzing her and focused on feeling her. Emotionally and physically she was incredible. Waves of _**AFFECTION, DESPERATION, LUST,**_ and so many other feelings poured from her. I tried to push past the lust but when it combined with my own that became impossible. Without meaning to I made a big mistake. While feeling her lust for me I pushed my own at her, giving her a double dose of the emotion just as I felt every-time we were together. As soon as I realized what I did I froze.

I didn't want to manipulate her in any way. Utilizing my gift in this capacity was definitely a way to take advantage of her which I would NEVER do. She wasn't the empath, she wasn't used to this onslaught of feelings. I began to pull back to look at her. "Please don't stop." I froze again at her words. What did they mean? What didn't she want me to stop? The accelerated emotions? What we were doing now? Did she want to go... further? I continued to pull back again and she whimpered slightly. _**REJECTION, WORRY, AFFECTION, DESIRE, NEED.**_ Each emotion hit me like a tidal wave and a part of me snapped. She was worried I was rejecting her? She wanted me. She needed me. She desired me. I literally felt my eyes darken at the cascade of feelings that overtook me, and none of it was even caused by her. When she felt desire and need for me it intensified my own ten-fold. When she was worried I didn't want her or felt rejected by my pulling away it made me want to claim her immediately to remove any doubt she had in my desire for her.

I felt a rumble in my chest and realized I had growled slightly at her emotions. So quick that she gasped I sat back on my haunches with her firmly straddled in my lap. My right hand held her neck just below her ear while my left grasped low on her back just below her waist. Both gripped her tightly but it was difficult to lighten my grasp. The last thing I wanted her to EVER think was that I didn't want her.

My right hand angled her head to face me and I didn't let her look away. I didn't know if I was more angry at myself for making her feel such things or if I was angry at her for actually feeling that way. "Why do you doubt my feelings for you?" Her eyes widened and she shook her head quickly.

"I don't." Her words were soft but firm. I waited for her to elaborate. She tried desperately to lower her gaze but I held her head firmly and frowned disapprovingly. "I just... I don't understand why you always... hesitate, I guess." I tilted my head in confusion. "You seem to want to be with me one moment then just as quickly you stop. I guess it just leaves me a little... lost." Her last word was whispered and I knew that wasn't the emotion it left her feeling.

"Darlin I don't do that in hesitation, I do it out of restraint." She looked at me with her wide beautiful eyes and I just wanted to kiss her again. "That may sound like the same thing but it isn't. Hesitation suggests not knowing what you want while restraint means you know EXACTLY what you want..."

"Isn't it... this what you want?" She spoke quickly, interrupting me, while her eyes were slightly shifty and I knew she would be red if she was human. I smiled at her innocence.

I pulled her head close and spoke with my lips brushing hers as I did. I knew she didn't understand what I was getting at but I couldn't bring myself to speak the words bluntly, it felt disrespectful. "I didn't say this wasn't what I want, beautiful." I spoke ultra quietly while I accented the word 'I' though I doubted she noticed, thanks to my ministrations. My hand traced up her spine incredibly slow then back down until I reached her backside, keeping my hand there. As soon as I did she gasped and her eyes widened. She pulled back from me slightly in shock but I kept both hands in place. She didn't realize it but she was proving my point. Using both my hands on both body parts I pulled her close to me with pressure that was between sensually slow and aggressively fast.

I brought my mouth to her ear and kissed it before whispering to her. "It's not about what I want my dear one. It's about us. Its about what WE want and what WE need." I said we but I meant her. I was still positive that she was willing because I was but I wanted her to be FULLY ready before we went farther. Her body trembled and due to her proximity to my lower region I felt it and had to close my eyes to maintain focus.

"I do want this." To accent her point she lifted her body up slightly then lowered it ever so softly. I groaned as quietly as I could but she most certainly heard me. I opened the eyes I hadn't consciously closed and met her wide nervous ones. I used my right hand and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"Darlin, I know you want me." She again pursed her lips sheepishly but maintained eye contact. I smirked and shifted her head to present the other ear to me. I brushed the hair aside and kissed her ear lobe softly before gently nibbling it causing a loud gasp to escape her mouth, making me smirk. "And you have no idea how much I want you." I debated doing what I was about to do but chose to prove my point. I laid her back down and put her legs around my waist, making sure they held me tightly. She looked puzzled but happy as she gazed up at me. My whole upper body was angled high above her while our lower halves touched intimately. Without taking my eyes off her I ground myself down on her just once so she would 'feel' my point, as it were.

She gasped loudly and looked down at where I was pressed to her. Her eyes went back to me and I leaned down to kiss her softly. She kissed me back and made no effort to loosen her grip on me. I rested my forehead to hers as I gathered my thoughts. What was I trying to say again? All I could focus on was the touch of her body to mine and the feelings that washed over me, hers and mine.

 _ **LUST, WANT, AFFECTION,...**_ Her emotions were only getting louder for me and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to pull away, I wasn't even sure I could yet. Every part of me needed confirmation that she was safe and the safest place for her was with me. Despite my desire to stay close and get even closer I couldn't shake the worry that I was pressuring her. She slowly and gently started to nuzzle my neck and kiss it softly. She was so gentle and sweet and every gesture that reaffirmed that only served to arouse me more. Every part of my body craved everything that she was. Despite it being so different from everything I'd ever known, it was all I seemed to need. I took a deep breath and she continued kissing all around my neck slowly and softly. My eyes closed and I lowered my head to the pillow for a brief moment as she continued kissing me and I continued to breathe very slowly with each touch. Her hands gently slid up from my neck to my hair, then down my shoulders, arms and back before repeating the circuit again, so slowly

I truly didn't know if she was doing this on purpose or if she was actually this innocent in her actions. Regardless of intent she was seducing any resistance out of me. I loved her light touches so much that I couldn't think of anything else when she gave them to me. When she gave me those light caresses with her lips on top of it all I was completely at her command, she just didn't know it. She continued kissing my neck all over and I held myself over her but kept my eyes closed.

She kissed me for awhile and I had no will left to stop her. Why did I even want to? I felt her hands move to my front and begin to rub my chest. This was new. She'd never really touched my chest before. It felt amazing, comforting. _**HESITANCE**_ I opened my eyes and glanced down at her but her eyes were on her hands as they stroked me. She leaned up and kissed my neck again and once again I closed my eyes. Her hands continued to stroke my whole chest and I felt a vibration as she continued, deep in my chest. "You're purring." Her voice was soft and I nodded while breathing out but didn't open my eyes.

She gave me a deep lingering kiss on my neck and even added suction for the first time. I let out a sound that was a cross between a growl, a purr, a whimper, and a moan. She didn't let go and I was so distracted I didn't notice her hands had shifted. The next thing I knew her hands were UNDER my shirt. I immediately opened my eyes and looked down at her and her eyes were on mine. Her hands didn't move but the touch was still amazing. She just looked up at me as if waiting for something. "Is this okay?" She was asking permission? I continued to stare at her for a moment before nodding. She stroked my chest all over and I watched the movements from over my shirt, occasionally glancing at her eyes. She gave me a small smile then wrapped her arms around my back and gently pulled at me, signaling that she wanted my weight on her. I smiled and plopped down next to her, pulling her to my chest.

Her hand was still in my shirt and she continued to softly caress my stomach and chest. "Darlin, we need to get back to your house." Her hand stopped and she got up from my chest to look at me. _**PUZZLEMENT.**_ She was cute when she was confused. Her brow furrowed, nose scrunched up and lips pursed slightly. I chuckled at her and gestured with my pointer finger for her to bend back down. She began to lean down but it wasn't fast enough. At vampire speed I pulled her to me and gave her a very small but sweet kiss before kissing her nose and smiling at her cute response. "Some things happened while you were sleeping and I'm sure they want to know the details. Her eyes widened but she stayed in my grasp.

Her eyes glazed over and I knew she was getting a vision. I watched as her eyes came back into focus. She looked more confused than before. "Something happened with the wolves. They wanted to meet with all of us... except you. You went?" I nodded and she sat up, sitting next to where I laid out beside her. Her arms wrapped around her knees as she looked at me. "You left?" She clearly put a lot of effort into keeping a straight face but she couldn't hide her feelings from me. _**SADNESS, DISAPPOINTMENT, CONFUSION, HURT.**_ I sat up immediately and pulled her into my arms. It had apparently been a bigger deal for her than I had thought for her to sleep with me. I knew it was a big thing for me but I didn't realize it had meant the same to her.

"Shhh, darlin. Only your safety could have pulled me away from you." She looked up at me and I let out a deep breath. "The wolves... they wanted to discuss a violation in the treaty." She kept her confusion but thankfully the hurt was gone. "They caught your scent on our side of the boundary and matched it to the one that had accompanied mine when we went to the beach together." Her eyes widened. _**GUILT, WORRY, CONCERN.**_ "Shhhh." I grabbed her to my lap as I leaned back against the headboard. I kissed her gently before she could apologize, express guilt, or anything else. I only ever wanted her happiness. "It's alright, sunshine. I met with them and everything is fine."

"You went alone?" Her eyes widened and immediately her arms and eyes began to roam my whole body, clearly looking for injury. I smirked but didn't stop her.

"Yes, darlin. I went alone. Esme and Edward sat with you when I left."

"Why would you do that? You could have been hurt." I didn't think she'd even heard me mention her family having been here. Her eyes were wide and pleading.

I shrugged and her eyes narrowed. I smiled at the domination she was displaying but that was very unconvincing coming from her. She huffed and I pulled her closer to me, kissing her deeply for a brief moment. I moved to her ear and whispered as softly as I could. "Don't be angry darlin." I followed that up with a light kiss and nibble on her ear lobe before releasing her and giving her a wicked smirk. She tried to maintain a look of displeasure but her emotions were certainly the opposite. "Who would I take? I have no coven." As soon as I said the words her face dropped to complete sadness. She had done this before when I said this but the emotion only seemed to get worse each time I said it. Why? She knew I didn't have one like she did.

"You have me." Her words were a whisper and I pulled her chin to me before she could look away. I moved her to straddle me, keeping our eyes locked the whole time.

"Yes I do." I waited a moment before I spoke again. "You are very much mine." I spoke softly but with clarity. Her eyes widened and I knew understanding was dawning on her. I spoke quickly before she could respond to my veiled declaration. "The whole point of going however was to protect you so obviously I couldn't bring you." I smiled playfully to cut through the tension that was now between us for the very first time.

I cleared my throat. "So I met with them, things didn't go well at first but in the end they agreed to back off from any ill-intentions against your family... or you."

She tensed. "They wanted to hurt my family because of me." I shook my head at her while stroking her hair gently.

"No they wanted to use what happened as an excuse to hurt your family, despite how innocent they knew your presence had been." I spoke with anger. Her eyes stayed locked with mine.

"Are you okay?" I smiled and nodded. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. I smiled at the sweetness of this creature. "How did you get them to back down? What did you say?" _**CURIOSITY**_ I took a deep breath and kept my eyes on hers. I rubbed my hands back and forth on her arms, still wrapped around my neck, her hands were clasped behind my neck and she sat back a distance waiting for my answer.

"I essentially told them that any quarrel they had with you they had to take with me instead." She smiled widely and I stroked her face with my fingers as I returned the smile. I took a deep breath before continuing. Could I get the words out? I don't think I'd ever been nervous before but right now I felt it in my whole being. "They may have pushed me with veiled threats... toward you." I held her gaze and she watched me closely. "I may have made some less then veiled threats back." She smiled cutely and I winked. "Then I told them that... you were mine and that was all they needed to know." Her eyes stayed on mine as I spoke.

"Yours?" The words were soft and her eyes didn't leave mine. We starred intently at each-other for the longest brief moment of my life. I remembered every moment of my transformation into becoming a vampire, with each agonizing moment feeling like an eternity. These couple moments felt long just like those had but not in a bad way. I didn't want to scream and make this stop. I wanted to freeze these moments forever. I didn't know what to say and I didn't know what she would say and that scared me. I didn't know what to do to make the moment better and I was terrified that something would make it worse.

"Mine." The word came out without me meaning to say it. It was a claiming word. Perhaps to some it's insulting or demeaning but nothing was further from the truth. Yes she was mine, in every way, but I was hers as well. It wasn't about possession it was about completion. She smiled and made small sniffling sounds indicating she would be crying if she could. "Baby, come here." I went to grab her close and she sniffled louder while shaking her head.

"So that makes you mine?" She smiled shyly with a giddy expression. I kept my eyes on her and she swayed her body ever so slightly as I stared at her. I smirked and began pulling her close to me. As soon as my arms encircled her she let out a little squeak causing me to chuckle. I brought her lips to mine but held back from kissing her. She pouted noticeably making me laugh loudly.

"All yours."

…...

Somehow I was able to pull away from Alice to get us to her home. We traveled fast but not full speed as we ran through the forest together. It was already early evening by the time we got there and it was clear they were anxious to see us as all of them met us outside as soon as we were within range. I frowned as Alice released my hand and went to her father to hug him. I didn't mind her hugging him... much... but I hadn't stopped touching her since I got back from meeting the wolfs and I was less then comfortable parting now after everything.

Esme hugged her next before shooting me a kind smile. I nodded in return and preceded to follow them all into the house. We went to the living room again and everyone went to their usual seat so I went to mine. It was odd to think I had a 'spot' in this house but I seemed to as it was the seat no one else took now that I was around. I had no sooner sat down that I noticed Alice walk away from her parents who she typically sat with and came toward me.

I smiled and reached for her hand. She smiled widely in response and grasped my hand enabling me to pull her sharply forward where she fell onto my lap. She huffed in fake annoyance. _**EXCITEMENT, HAPPINESS, LOVE.**_ I wondered if the last emotion was for her family or me. She shrunk down into my lap comfortably, giving her a slouched appearance as her legs were slung over my right leg and she tucked her head into my neck under my chin. I smiled down at her and she continued to smile cutely.

She grabbed my hand, pulling it to her lap and I mindlessly intertwined our fingers before looking up towards her family. My right hand was intertwined with both hers while my left was wrapped around her back with my forearm up so I could play with the tips of her hair. The whole family looked at us in shock, among other feelings. I ignored them and glanced back down at her. She was averting her gaze from them and me but had a small smile on her face.

This really wasn't me. Not only was I not an affectionate person, but I certainly wasn't one openly. In the century plus relationship I'd had with Maria, the closest thing we'd done in front of others was kiss briefly. We never touched, held one-another, or caressed publicly. I didn't mind the privacy of our relationship at the time, even liked it due to my guarded nature. Now though I wanted to keep Alice close. I wanted to touch her, just to feel her. I wanted to keep her close, just to ensure she was safe. I wanted to hold her just to see her smile. I wondered if this was the mate bond that our kind valued so much or if it was in response to something else? Alice was bright, beautiful, friendly, and open. Was I like this now because she was? Because THIS was who my mate was?

MY MATE. I smiled at the thought that I had found something so precious. I had never been under the delusion that Maria was my TRUE mate. I cared for her, loved her even, but I knew she wasn't my other half. Over a century and I knew Maria hadn't been the one, and after just a few days and I knew without a doubt that Alice was.

"So..." I had to smile outwardly at Emmett trying to cut through the awkwardness that Alice and I's affection seemed to create. I wondered how long it would take for the family to try to get information from Alice about the dynamic of our relationship. They most likely wanted to get her alone for that interrogation but they would be facing disappointment on that end seeing as I had zero intention of letting her out of my sight anytime soon.

"Where do you want me to start?" I couldn't shake the small smile I wore as I watched the family try to process how to feel, how to act, or what to say.

"How about what happened when the wolves realized you were there, not us." Esme spoke softly and I nodded in agreement. So the beginning it was...

…...

I had just come to the point in the story when I had accused the wolves of violating the treaty themselves by crossing the border as wolves, in order to get Alice's scent. The family put together on their own that the reason I'd put that stipulation in my arrangement with the tribe was for this very reason, to protect Alice. I had given great detail in my story, not just for them but for Alice. I didn't want to keep anything from her. She was watching me intently as I told the story and I caressed her non stop in comfort. Her body was on edge and when I had described the brief fighting that had taken place she whimpered slightly. The bond between us causing her instincts to protect me, even with simple comfort, as she rubbed me continuously during the story.

"What did they say to that?" Emmett chuckled.

"They didn't get much of a chance to say anything. The other two 'secret wolfs' reappeared on the field and right after that Peter and Charlotte did as well." I shot narrowed eyes at Edward and he smirked while shrugging.

"You never said I couldn't tell them where you were." He chuckled and I shook my head in annoyance even though truthfully I appreciated his concern.

"Well as soon as Peter and Charlotte showed up the wolves tried to turn my accusations of hidden numbers on me. They claimed I had represented myself as a coven of one but had two hidden companions from the start." The family looked at each-other then back to me. "I ignored the accusation entirely since it came from the pack hot head, plus I had already explained my companions to Sam prior so I was hiding nothing." I had given the family details of my run in with the pack on the beach though I omitted Jamie. I didn't know how they would respond to me 'befriending' a human and I wasn't going to be lectured about it.

"I get the feeling that something bad happened at that point." Edward spoke again and I shrugged to hide my discomfort. I really didn't want to get into the details of WHY the brief fight broke out. I may not mind the family seeing my affection for Alice but telling them of our bond didn't sit right with me. I worried that if it was out in the open, our bond would be cheapened somehow.

"The wolves pushed me... to far and I attacked them." I wasn't going to lie and claim that the wolves started the fight but I hated that I knew I would have to tell them the why.

"What did they say to piss you off?" Emmett chuckled and I could read deep _**CURIOSITY**_ come from him. I knew I came off as the quite the 'cool customer' so the idea of me losing my temper was understandably a point of interest.

"The new one accused me further of having a mate when he saw Charlotte standing with me." Alice stiffened minutely and I instinctively pulled her closer to my body, rubbing my left hand up and down her arm. My right hand was still intertwined in her lap with both her hands and I rubbed them reassuringly. I hadn't taken my eyes off the family so I wasn't sure if they noticed us but judging by their interest in the story I would say they hadn't.

Emmett laughed. "And that pissed you off enough to attack?"

"Not at all. What pissed me off was an insignificant child speaking of such a sacred thing he knew nothing of." The family nodded clearly in agreement.

"So what did they say to make you attack?" Edward spoke carefully and I saw his eyes flash between Alice and me. He was keeping his emotions passive but I could tell he was theorizing to himself and from his glances his ideas were probably accurate.

"The hot headed one, Paul..." I practically spat his name through my clenched jaw. I must have been more than a little obvious with my hostility as the whole family tensed. I realized immediately that I had radiated out a small version of the hatred I'd held for Paul on that field. I reigned it in thanks to Alice leaning up and giving me one gentle kiss on the neck. "... He decided to try and toy with me. He mentioned the tribes beliefs that our species mates for life and that he had thought I had feelings for..." I REALLY REALLY didn't want to repeat his insulting term of my mate but they needed to know everything. I felt a low growl in my throat that I knew they could hear. I clutched Alice closer out of instinct but kept my eyes on the family. "In his words, '… the Cullen leech, Alice'." The family clearly didn't like the insult directed at her either as I heard a few growls but I took no solace in their solidarity. Those words still rang in my head making me want to kill Paul desperately.

"What did you say or do?" It was Rosalie that spoke for the first time now. She was _**CURIOUS, INTRIGUED, ANGRY, DISGUSTED**_. Seeing as most of those feelings were normal for her I didn't know which were directed at me and which were for the wolves. There was challenge in her words too though and that got my attention. She was challenging me about what I did in response to them insulting her sister.

My eyes locked with Rosalie and I decided exactly what I would do. She may be challenging me to defend her sister but I took it as an accusation that I would ever NOT defend my mate. "I rushed Paul without hesitation and slammed him into a tree, intent on killing him right there." I heard the family gasp, Alice included, but my eyes stayed on Rose. "Unfortunately the other hot head rushed me and I was forced to release Paul to fight him off." _**SURPRISE**_ came off Rose though I didn't know why exactly. She could see I cared for her sister, why wouldn't I defend her. I glanced towards the rest of the family, determined not to hide what happened now. "A fight broke out between all of us though my focus stayed on Paul so I'm not sure of everything that happened between Peter, Charlotte, and the rest of the pack. I did hear the youngest wolf, Seth, hurt and I stepped in to save him and calm down the fight." I saw Esme smile happily at me and I almost rolled my eyes at the 'Cullen mom' who was probably viewing Seth as a little boy that needed to be protected.

I looked down at Alice and her focus was entirely on me. _**EAGER, NERVOUS, SHY, HAPPY, LOVE.**_ I froze as I looked at her, knowing that this time without a doubt that emotion was for me. I caressed her face with our locked hands. _**LOVE, DEVOTION, DETERMINATION**_ **.** I sent all that I felt right at her and she sniffled slightly, indicating she would cry if she could. This was the first time we'd told each-other 'I love you' and although we didn't say it out loud we did say it in a way that was all ours. I caressed her face and gently touched below her eyes to soothe her before looking back at the family. I didn't look at any of them enough to gauge their reactions as I didn't want anything they expressed to sully the moment Alice and I had shared.

"After the fight halted I grabbed Paul again, who had shifted back human due to his injuries, and slammed him once again against a tree. I told him that if he ever spoke of Alice like that again I would kill him. I was cutting off his air supply so he could barely speak." I spoke clearly though I could hear the hesitation in my voice. "I told him and all of them that Alice was MINE..." I made sure to lace complete possession to the word as I spoke it to the Cullen's perhaps to let them know as much as the wolves now did, that this wasn't up for debate, it was fact. "... and that they didn't need to know anything else." The implication behind that sentence being that Alice was protected due to our 'treaty' which protected my mate plus the silent understanding that any threat against her meant they would suffer at my hands.

My eyes went back to Alice before absorbing any of the Cullen's responses to my declaration. I smiled at her and she smiled back as silence filled the room.

 **END NOTES:**

*** It's funny how I think I will get to a certain point in a chapter but the other stuff takes up so much more time than I thought so I end up closing a chapter earlier then intended.

*** I don't do super long chapters so that you guys get faster updates.

*** Some lovey stuff, plot, and suspense. What more could you want? :-)

*** Jasper and Alice actually laid it out about their relationship and exactly what they are. YAY!

*** Anyone getting frustrated by Jasper and Alice's more G-rated physical relationship than we may want? remember that they've only known each other a couple days and Jasper is a southern gentleman. :-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Take CARE" by Drake featuring Rihanna- This song is beautiful. I absolutely love the music in this song. It matches the feelings perfectly. The chorus of "If you let me, here's what I'll do. I'll take care of you..." are such simple but beautiful words.

 **PLEASE REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** Let me know your views and opinions


	15. Little WONDERS

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

***PLEASE READ NOTES at the end***

 **\- REVIEW, FAVORITE, FOLLOW.**

 **\- Feel free to comment on prior chapters as well. I love reading everyone's comments.**

 **\- I got lots of great responses from the last chapter. I hope this one goes as well or even better**

 **\- This is the second longest chapter yet so that should make up for the small delay in update (6 days)**

 **\- Enjoy. ;-)**

 **Chapter#15: Little WONDERS**

 **JPOV**

 **PREVIOUSLY IN CHAPTER#14**

 _I looked down at Alice and her focus was entirely on me. **EAGER, NERVOUS, SHY, HAPPY, LOVE.** I froze as I looked at her, knowing that this time without a doubt that emotion was for me. I caressed her face with our locked hands. **LOVE, DEVOTION, DETERMINATION.** I sent all that I felt right at her and she sniffled slightly, indicating she would cry if she could. This was the first time we'd told each-other 'I love you' and although we didn't say it out loud we did say it in a way that was all ours. I caressed her face and gently touched below her eyes to soothe her before looking back at the family. I didn't look at any of them enough to gauge their reactions as I didn't want anything they expressed to sully the moment Alice and I had shared._

 _"After the fight halted I grabbed Paul again, who had shifted back human due to his injuries, and slammed him once again against a tree. I told him that if he ever spoke of Alice like that again I would kill him. I was cutting off his air supply so he could barely speak." I spoke clearly though I could hear the hesitation in my voice. "I told him and all of them that Alice was MINE..." I made sure to lace complete possession to the word as I spoke it to the Cullen's perhaps to let them know as much as the wolves now did, that this wasn't up for debate, it was fact. "... and that they didn't need to know anything else." The implication behind that sentence being that Alice was protected due to our 'treaty' which protected my mate plus the silent understanding that any threat against her meant they would suffer at my hands._

 _My eyes went back to Alice before absorbing any of the Cullen's responses to my declaration. I smiled at her and she smiled at me as silence filled the room._

 **AND NOW...**

 _ **SHOCK, DISBELIEF, INCREDULITY.**_ I wanted to laugh at all the emotions in the moment. Here I was thinking all of them were at least partially synonyms, yet somehow each feeling was different from the last. If I hadn't had the emotions screaming at me the room would be filled with dead silence. I calmly lifted my eyes to each one of them slowly. My eyes met Edward first but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were shifting between each member just as mine were. As loud as their emotions were I could tell the thoughts were probably worse. Next my eyes went to Esme who was watching Alice intently with a look of concentration. The other three wore identical masks of disbelief meets being frozen solid.

I almost chuckled at their looks until I felt Alice shift in my lap. My eyes went back to her and I saw her eyes glazed over with her brow scrunched slightly. I stroked her cheek but she didn't come out of the vision when I did. I continued to stroke her face and she eventually closed her eyes. I glanced to Edward who was now watching her with the intensity he'd had for the rest of them. Whatever she was seeing he was watching as well. I was a bit jealous that he could see what she did. That was a bond she could only share with him and I couldn't resist the twinge of resentment I felt as a result.

"Darlin?" I starred at her as her eyes twitched but remained closed. After another moment she started out of the trance like she had been zapped mildly. Her eyes were wide as she looked at me and I smiled softly. _**EMBARASSED.**_ I chuckled and hugged her warmly. "You don't need to be embarrassed, love." If it was possible I'd say the room got quieter as I spoke those words. "What did you see?" Her eyes starred intensely back at mine and I felt _**SADNESS**_ come off her. I growled slightly which made the whole family jump up from where they were sitting, except Edward and Esme, who stood slowly.

I wanted to be angry at them assuming where my anger was directed but I was to focused on what was upsetting her to bother with them. "What did you see?" I repeated myself slowly as I reined in my own emotions. Her eyes flashed to her family quickly then back but instead of looking at me she was staring at our intertwined hands. I moved our hands up and moved her chin to look at me. I didn't look to her family, though their emotions were raging in my head. I kept our grasp on her chin gentle but when her face moved to the side slightly, I grasped her a little tighter and angled her back to me with a pointed look. I moved our still intertwined hands up and stroked her temple with my pointer finger. I didn't use the words but I was sure my eyes conveyed the message, 'talk to me'.

"Nothing good." I was sure she spoke the words but it was so quiet I honestly couldn't be positive.

"What exactly does that mean?" I closed my eyes and mentally counted to ten before looking over at my mate's sister to respond to her question. I figured thinking of her relation to my mate might help make me more patient with her. It was worth a shot.

"What exactly is confusing you?" Why did I always answer her questions with a question?

"Why did that make the wolves back-off?" Well that certainly wasn't what I expected her to ask.

"I'm sure they have their own personal reasons but there was also our agreement." Rosalie's curiosity only increased. "My agreement with the pack was any mate of mine was allowed anywhere I was."

 _ **ANGER, HOPE, FEAR, SADNESS,...**_ A whirl of emotions crashed at my words. I supposed that calling her 'mine' was one thing while referring to her as my 'mate' was a whole new thing. "Your MATE!"

I felt more than heard my own growl erupt. I knew it was loud but all I could focus on was the feelings crashing on me. She doubted my bond to Alice. I wouldn't have thought someone being a skeptic would inspire such feelings but all I could process the doubt as, was a threat. "Yes, mine." My hand that had been intertwined with Alice's was now clenched alone, in a death grip that almost hurt.

"She isn't yours!" At this I actually felt like I was watching myself in slow motion as I stood from the couch. With a manner that showed complete calm I stood so slowly while keeping my eyes on Rosalie. I never released Alice as I stood but actually managed to keep her quite close the whole time. I brought her behind me slightly and luckily she didn't fight me on it.

"I suggest you stop now before you say something I cannot forgive." My words were like acid mixed with honey. I couldn't even process what I felt towards her in the moment but I couldn't not recognize a few emotions in me. _**RAGE, PAIN, DOUBT, FEAR, POSSESSIVE, PROTECTIVE,...**_ I could feel every breath come from me as one of my fists clenched in restraint at my side while the other held Alice closer.

"Rosalie..." I froze as Alice spoke for the first time. I turned to her and she smiled at me while wrapping her arms around my right one. I immediately felt calmed by her touch but not enough to forget the malice I felt towards Rose. Rose didn't respond but looked to Alice in question. "...that isn't your place to say..."

"Like Hell!" I growled and shifted Alice behind me again. I didn't care about reason, family, coven members, or anything else. All I saw was MY MATE and a threat to that. Alice rubbed up and down my arm before stepping out from my protection. I wanted to look at her, knowing nothing else could remove all the ugly I was feeling, but I couldn't look away from Rose right now. Alice went to step out in front of me but I reached my arms around her waist and held her to my chest.

Rosalie's eyes flashed to where I held Alice before looking back at me. _**ANGER, RESENTMENT, HURT, LOVE.**_ I didn't care what her reasons were for her behavior. I cared only about making sure Alice remained mine. "What right do you have to say that?" _**ANGER, HURT.**_ I picked up on Alice's feelings from her voice as well as her emotions. I held her tighter to me when I picked up the hurt. She immediately began rubbing my arms wrapped around her waist, and I knew she needed the comfort as much as I did, maybe even more. Alice loved her family with everything she had. I had only known her a couple minutes when I learned that about her. Because of this, any doubt from them hit her extra hard. For me Rose's criticism could only cause anger since she meant nothing to me, For Alice though, Rose's words caused a tremendous amount of hurt.

"You're my sister. Do you even know him? He's only been here a couple days. What if he hurts you? He's KILLED people, Alice!" Each statement got louder and it took everything in me not to attack. I didn't want any of that thrown at Alice. The tone, the implications, the criticisms, all of it.

"So have you." Alice's words were so soft but firm. I glanced from her, though I could only see the top of her head, then up to Rosalie. Her face was a cold mask though her earlier emotions raged on. I hadn't known Rose had killed before. I knew she'd never had human blood so I'd assumed she'd never killed. I suppose there was a story there, one I may never actually know.

Alice had her head down slightly but after a moment she raised her head high and spoke softly and clearly. She didn't release her grasp on my arms so I knew she wanted me to stay where I was. That was good since I certainly wouldn't be going anywhere, unless I was taking Alice with me. "I know what you want to say." I supposed this was what Alice had seen in her vision, or she just knew her sister well. "You want to say that when you did that it was different. You want to say that none of us could understand what they did to you." My brow furrowed slightly as my eyes continued to flash between the two sisters. I saw Emmett pull Rose to his side and to my astonishment she pulled away from him. I could see and feel so much _**HURT, SHAME, ANGER, LOSS**_ come off Rose I was surprised she didn't want his comfort.

"You want to claim that he's a monster." Alice's words broke on the last word and I wanted to pull her away from everyone instantly. She had seen her sister call me that and it cut her deeply. Alice glanced up at me, which was difficult given her short stature and our current position. She smiled warmly and I tilted my head in question. "But the truth is Rose..." She looked back to her sister and spoke firmly. "... what happened with Jasper was different too. None of us could possibly understand what happened to him either. Every single one of us was raised in THIS lifestyle. Animals are food, humans aren't. Difficult yes but simple too. Jasper was not raised this way. He was not taught compassion like all of us were by Dad." I saw her gaze shift to Carlisle so I followed her glance. He gave her a small forced smile but it was clearly strained. His eyes met mine for a moment before I looked back to Alice.

"Dad gave all of us an amazing gift when he created us and taught us his ways. He helped us maintain our humanity." _**RESPECT, LOVE, ADORATION**_ _ **.**_ So much emotion for her adoptive father that it was beautiful. "Each of our stories is different but he helped each of us through it all." Her body tensed slightly so I tightened my grasp. "We all love and follow him and his leadership but can you honestly say that if he had taught us a... different path... you wouldn't have followed him just as much?" Her words left no doubt about what the 'different path' could be. I glanced around and saw every member flash looks between each-other. _**SADNESS, DOUBT, CARE, LOVE, RESPECT,...**_ Their silence confirmed her point as did their feelings.

"We are all capable of monstrous things." A sob went through Alice's body and I couldn't fight it anymore. I spun her around slowly and she wrapped her arms around my neck as I leaned down to pick her up so I could hug her gently. Like before she let her legs dangle from me as I stroked her hair softly. I pulled back to look at her and she smiled at me through sad eyes. I stroked her face softly then set her back down. I kept my arms around her and she curled into my chest for a brief hug before turning back to her family. I had my arms wrapped around her shoulders now and she was rubbing my arms continuously. "Jasper is no monster though. He's a good man and I love him."

I starred down at her in _**DISBELIEF**_ and complete _**ADORATION**_. The beauty of Alice was incredible. I truly did see myself as a monster just as Rose did but Alice felt otherwise. More then felt, she KNEW I wasn't one. I wished I could believe I was as forgivable as she felt I was but I didn't think I ever could. I would have to spend a long time living up to the pedestal she put me on. I didn't mind though, I would spend everyday of forever working to deserve her.

Her declaration on top of everything else she'd said humbled everyone in the room, myself included. I was sure everyone's emotions, thoughts, expressions, and everything else were a whirlwind right now but I couldn't see any of them. All I saw was Alice. This amazing creature that loved ME. I'd already known she did but the words were so much better. I turned her back around and picked her up again to hold her close. It wasn't in my nature to be affectionate publicly but I sure as hell wasn't going to avoid reciprocating her words now that they were out.

She wrapped her arms around my neck while she watched me nervously. I stroked her temple with my right hand a few times while my left held her up by the small of her back. I leaned my forehead to hers before pulling back enough to kiss her deeply. She kissed me back adamantly but we kept it short. "I love you too, darlin." She smiled so brightly I thought a light had been flicked on inside her. She let out a small giggle and grasped me tighter while burying her face into my neck. I couldn't resist chuckling at her. No matter what was happening this girl could always make me smile.

"You hardly know him." Rosalie's words were weak and judging by her timid tone she knew it. Vampires always fell fast for their mate once they found them. Change was such a big thing for us that it was impossible to question when it happened.

"How long did you know Emmett before you fell for him?" I glanced at Rose as her eyes went to Emmett who smiled sweetly at her but kept his distance. He was clearly a good match for her. Whatever her issues were that made her so cold and cutting he adjusted to be what she needed as a result. "Rose, you hadn't even spoken to him, he hadn't even seen you. Despite that you brought him back to Carlisle then you stayed with him the whole time during his change." Alice looked to Emmett who smiled broadly back. "And look at Emmett, he woke from becoming a VAMPIRE and despite the blood lust and overwhelming change he KNEW you were it for him."

Esme reached forward and clutched Rosalie's hand and Rose allowed it. Strange as she hadn't let her mate comfort her. Her past involving the humans she'd killed seemed a bit less fuzzy now though I didn't want to speculate if I was correct. Rosalie narrowed her eyes at Alice slightly and I knew her words were still falling on deaf ears. "Why is that okay for you but not me?"

"Tink, we're all just a little concerned that's all." _**AFFECTION, LOVE.**_ Emmett spoke now and sounded as warm as always.

"Concerned about what?" _**ANGER.**_ I was a little bit surprised Alice held anger at Emmett's words. He looked a bit sheepish at her question. She was so small and he was so big that her displeasure was actually a bit humorous, even given the situation.

"Just... concerned that you could... get hurt." He struggled to find words and his emotions matched his words. _**CLUELESS, CONFUSED.**_

"By whom?" She held up her hand angrily to stop his interruption and I heard Edward chuckle at whatever the thoughts were. Emmett froze with his mouth open and I couldn't resist the small chuckle that escaped me as well. "By the man that quite literally went into a lions den completely alone to keep me safe? Hurt by the man who has done nothing but respect and care for me since we met? Hurt by my MATE?" I smiled at her words, I couldn't help it. All of that was true plus the whole giving up my diet and solitary way of life for her as well. Of course she didn't know I did those things for her and I certainly wasn't going to say anything. I honestly didn't mind doing it but she would be saddened if she knew the main reason I did those two things was for her. I hadn't known she was the reason at the time but looking back I knew she certainly was.

"Alice it isn't like that." Carlisle spoke now. Alice didn't respond to Carlisle's words and I figured that was due to her close bond with her father. She didn't want to argue with him, maybe above that she couldn't. It was obvious that his criticism would be the one that hurt her the most.

"Alice..." To my surprise Edward spoke now. He was generally so quiet but I knew Alice was very special to him and was perhaps the only member he would feel inclined to defend. In return she was probably closest to him after Carlisle or maybe even more considering his title as her brother and the only person she felt she could relate to when it came to her gift. Alice looked up at him and I saw her eyes actually looked to have tears for a moment. It wasn't possible of course but I almost swore they were there. A big part of me wanted to hurt all of them for making her feel so abandoned right now. She needed their support and wasn't getting it, just lectures. I wanted to grab her and take her back to the bubble that we had when we were alone.

Edward looked to me and I knew what he was silently asking me. I flexed my jaw before releasing her as Edward stepped close and pulled her into a hug. She hugged him immediately and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders as hers tightened around his waist. He calmed her with soft shushing sounds as she sobbed and buried her head in his chest. My whole body wanted to grab her back to me. I knew this was her family but it felt like they were taking MY job from me. I wanted to be the one to comfort her. I pushed my feelings aside as best I could, knowing her needs were more important.

"Alice I want you to know I support you." She pulled back to look at him and he smiled. "I'm very happy for you and very proud as well."

"Proud?" She was so timid and _**SADNESS**_ still rolled off her. I continued to twitch with the urge to pull her back to me.

He chuckled while giving her a friendly rub on the back before releasing her. I immediately stepped forward and grabbed her back to me, quite quickly, before anyone else thought they had a claim as well. Luckily she came easily but kept her eyes on Edward. "I've never heard you stand up for yourself like that." His eyes went to me then back to her. "You're normally so passive but you stood up for the both of you." He smiled wider and she smiled in response to his words. "You're stronger with him and that tells me that he's good for you, and that's all I need to know." He glanced back at me as I shook my head but smirked at his quoting of my own words.

She went back to him and hugged him hard. He laughed before patting her head playfully and releasing her again. Before I could step in this time Esme grabbed her softly. "If you're happy, then I'm happy." I smiled at Alice having two of her family members support. Alice looked at Esme and was wearing a bright smile from her moms words. They broke apart and I wanted to pull her back to me so badly but knew she needed her family first. Instead Alice took a couple small steps towards her father. He sighed and pulled her to him gently with a smile.

"All I want is you safe and happy." I could tell he wasn't as accepting as the last two but I certainly wasn't going to point it out. I understand all their hesitation but that didn't mean I was okay with it. They were acting more like the wolves than I would have thought possible. I had done nothing to garner their distrust but I had it just the same. I wasn't personally offended that they were making assumptions about my worth as her mate, but I knew it hurt her.

I looked at Alice as she turned in her fathers arms to look back at me. _**LOVE, ADORATION, AWE, POSSESIVE,...**_ I sent her all I felt and thankfully in response she returned to me. I immediately wrapped her up in my arms and picked her up to hold her close. She put each of her hands at the base of my neck as our lips touched for the briefest moment. I wanted to kiss her far deeper than this but not in any way that was appropriate publicly. I smiled at her as she beamed back. I couldn't wait to be alone...

…...

Rose continued with her cold distant manner but everyone else at least attempted to warm up in the midst of everything. I was truly grateful for Emmett and his ability to make light of any situation as he quickly cut through the silence with stories from his 'baby vamp' days. I had to laugh at his difficulties in controlling his strength resulting in a lot of broken houses, not pieces of houses but apparently he destroyed a couple homes entirely.

All of the Cullen's shared stories from their early days as vampires, making sure to keep to light happy examples. When it came to be Edwards turn he explained he wasn't used to hearing a lot of people at once so he couldn't control his gift for the first couple weeks he tried out high school. This meant he literally was forced to listen to hundreds of teenage 'libidos' as he put it. I laughed hard at that to which he narrowed his eyes playfully.

"It will be even worse for you, General." Emmett playfully accentuated my title at me when he spoke.

"What do you mean?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"When you start going to school with us you'll have to FEEL the hormones not just listen to them." Emmett started laughing hard but I just starred at him in puzzlement.

"That wont be a problem. I have no intention of being a high school student." I chuckled the words and noticed no one else did. Everyone had resumed their earlier positions, right down to Alice in my lap. This positioning enabled everyone to watch me, which they certainly were now. I looked around at them all, confused. "What?"

"You don't?" Now Emmett was the confused one.

"No. Why would I?" I glanced to Alice but she was looking down at her lap again. _**DISCOMFORT, WORRY, SADNESS.**_

"Well it's part of our cover so that we blend in..." He looked like he was going to say more but I saw Edward give him a pointed look. I figured I wasn't going to like what was on Emmett's mind. My eyes flashed calculatingly between all of the family. Most of their eyes were doing the same. Alice was still staring at our lap and Rosalie wasn't looking at anyone, her eyes on anything and everything else.

"What everyone is not saying is..." I looked to Rosalie just as her eyes met mine and she spoke. "... they assumed you would be joining our... COVEN." There was clear emphasis on the word coven, clearly her way of holding me apart from the FAMILY aspect of the group. "They assumed that you would want to be where Alice is." I didn't miss the accusation but I was to confused to care much.

"Why would I join this coven?" I chose to ignore her comment about me wanting to be with Alice. It was quite obvious that I wanted to be with her. I didn't need to explain that to anyone, least of all Rosalie who only saw what she wanted regardless. Alice shifted on my lap and I gently clasped her hand. She let me but didn't respond in any way.

"Gee I don't know... because your MATE is in our coven. OUR FAMILY." I hated to admit it but she had a good point. What does all this mean? It had never occurred to me to join this group. I was used to being apart from those around me. It wasn't that I liked it or didn't like it. This was just how I was and how I'd always been. I was always the quiet one, the contemplative one, the odd one. As a result I generally kept my distance. I glanced around at each of them with a furrowed expression. Did they all expect me to join them? Did they actually want me to?

I looked to Alice and judging by how she was acting, that was exactly what she wanted. I gave her hands a light rub. "Darlin." She looked up at me with a guarded expression. I frowned and pulled her face to me gently. I spoke so soft that I was sure they wouldn't be able to hear us. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" I wanted to ask her if this was what she wanted but I didn't want to have the conversation with an audience. She nodded and gave a forced smile. I frowned but let it go... for now. We would definitely be discussing this later.

"We don't need to talk about this right now." Esme spoke easily and smiled kindly at everyone. Thanks to her nature the atmosphere in the room changed just as easily to easy as it had to tense. She asked for me to tell my own stories of my 'baby vamp' days. Everyone seemed intrigued by this idea and I suppose that had a lot to do with their own positive experiences. I had no positive memories of my early vampire days so I by-passed her question and instead spoke of when I first learned to project emotions and not just read them. I had been a vampire about thirty years by that point so I certainly was no 'baby'. I told them about the first time it happened and how I'd accidentally put a bunch of newborns to sleep.

"That's not an emotion though." Emmett questioned curiously. His tone was impressed but certainly confused as well. I shrugged in response.

"Empathic is a bit to specific when it comes to my power. I manipulate feelings in general. Emotions are the forefront of that but there are other feelings such as exhaustion or energized that I can also read and manipulate. The feelings are more physical then the more mental ones such as happiness and love. Both types are feelings though so I can manipulate both."  
"That's bad ass." I laughed at that. Apparently my physical abilities were less 'chick crap' to him then the emotional ones.

"Why do you think it took so long to develop the ability to manipulate rather than just read? Edward asked now and I gave the only answer I had.

"I guess I needed to master the ability to read feelings before I could throw them back at someone.

"Wow. That's actually a very interesting theory." Carlisle nodded at my response. "Is there certain emotions that are harder to project than others?"

"In the sense of difficulty I'd say no but emotionally some do weigh heavier." They all watched intently as I explained. "The easiest emotions to project for me are fear and tranquility. This might have a great deal to do with how often I used the two with the newborns. It helped keep them in line as well as help them out with their blood-lust."

"So you could actually suppress blood-lust?" _**IMPRESSED, AMAZED.**_ I chuckled at Carlisle's question.

I laughed lightly at the idea of that. "I wouldn't go that far. I could take the edge off, as it were, but not eliminate it entirely." He nodded still looking impressed.

"So you didn't answer. What 'feelings' are the hardest to read and project?" Emmett repeated Carlisle's question eagerly. I hadn't forgotten the question I was just trying to avoid it by mentioning the easiest ones instead.

I sat a little straighter in my discomfort ad Alice noticed immediately. She clasped my hand in both of hers and rubbed in comfort. I gave her a quick smile before looking back to the group. "Love and lust are the two I avoid reading and projecting." Every one of them was incredibly _**CONFUSED**_ and _**SURPRISED**_ by that.

"Why?" I took a deep breath before answering.

"Due to the relationship I had with my maker I was left somewhat embittered to the two emotions." They still seemed a bit confused so I knew I had to elaborate. "Maria and I were romantically involved for over a century." I spoke the words fast to get them over with. Dawning reached their faces and to Emmett's credit he looked abashed by his question. I laughed lightly to ease the discomfort. "That was a long time ago, Emmett. Trust me when I say it's completely behind me." There was a lot of truth in that. All the negative I felt involving Maria was due to the betrayal and exploitation she did of me. I didn't pine for her, I never actually did. Yes I had loved her but certainly not enough.

"What's it like to feel everyone's emotions?" Esme asked with her usual care and kindness.

I shrugged again. "I suppose it would be like asking Alice what it's like to get visions, or Edward what it's like to read minds. This is all I've known since becoming a vampire." She nodded and smiled in response. "However if any of you want to experience it, I can help with that." I smiled as they all looked at each-other.

They all seemed to put a lot of thought into my question, perhaps wondering if I was serious. A few minutes passed with no one responding. I laughed at their expressions.

"Do my ears deceive me or is the general laughing, my love?" Peter and Charlotte walked in calmly with no invitation and I frowned in displeasure at them as a result.

"I don't recall hearing you knock Peter." I gave him a pointed look while glancing in Esme's direction. I had a lot of respect for the matriarch of this family and I would make sure she was treated correctly, especially in her own home. He sighed before giving a bow to Esme who had stood up with Carlisle.

"Forgive my intrusion ma'am. I'm not accustomed to vampires maintaining residences." She smiled warmly in response and I nodded at him in approval. Charlotte stepped forward and shook Esmes hand, thanking her hospitality. The two settled together against a wall and joined effortlessly in the conversation about 'most embarrassing vampire youth stories' .I smiled at the ease my former coven had in making friends with this group, despite their differences.

…...

I took the opportunity of the group conversing to take Alice away. I gently got out of our seat and lead her wordlessly to the kitchen by her hand. No one seemed concerned by our leaving and I was glad for that. No sooner had we entered the room though did everything come back to me. I pressed her up against the wall and kissed her deeply. I'd been wanting to do that for a few hours and had no intention of passing up the chance. She wasted no time pushing herself as close to me as possible as I leaned down to her. I gave up trying to kiss that way quickly and picked her up for ease. She giggled slightly when I did but it was muffled as I pressed her more firmly into the wall. My body held her entirely to the wall freeing up my hands. My right held her face to mine while my left held her hand against the wall beside her with our fingers intertwined.

All the emotions I'd been feeling since coming into this house were coming out now. My territoriality over the families reaction to our bond. My desire for her as she told them she loved me. My frustration when she didn't tell me what was upsetting her. My anger that I didn't know certain aspects of us had been upsetting Alice this whole time. Everything came back and I kissed her harder. After a couple minutes another thing came to me. Rosalie had told Alice that she didn't know me. It had been something said in anger but it stuck with me just the same. I knew Alice loved me and I loved her but there was truth to what Rose had said. We'd only met a few days ago and I had neglected to court her properly. I needed to remedy that.

I pulled back and smiled at her pout. I leaned in and gave a small kiss to said pout, making her smile. "Come with me." I repeated the words I'd spoken to her the first time we were alone and jerked my head in the direction of the back door in the kitchen.

"What?" She smiled through her _**CONFUSION**_ **.**

I set her down and stroked her cheek tenderly. "Come with me, love." It felt so good to call her that and if I had to guess, based on her smile, she loved it too. My left hand held hers while my right stroked her face repeatedly.

"Where?"

"Does it matter?" I smiled when she shook her head adamantly. "Then why ask, darlin?" She shrugged and without a word I pulled her out of the house with me. I had no idea where I wanted to take her but I knew I wanted to talk to her without any prying eyes or ears.

We ran wordlessly and eventually Alice took the lead and headed towards town. I went without question but had no idea what she was up to. We stopped outside of Seattle, which was relatively close to Forks, at least traveling at vampire speed. I looked at her in question and she shrugged.

"I like to shop here. I thought I could show you the sights." I smiled and nodded in agreement. We started walking around the crowded city and I smiled at her excitement. It was dark now so we didn't have to worry about sunlight giving us away but I wasn't used to being around so many humans. I kept interactions with people in general to a minimum but that was even more true when it came to humans. I didn't exactly have much in common with them and with my ability to feel their emotions I had preferred not to put myself in a position to care for them in any way. In the past this mentality helped a lot with my lifestyle but now I was paying the price. I wasn't desensitized to human scent like the Cullen's probably were. That added onto the differences I'd observed after switching to animal blood was causing a lot of difficulty for me. The scent of their blood was impossible to ignore but I kept a strong face for Alice. She was clearly so happy to do this with me and I didn't wish to ruin it for her.

After about 2 hours of walking around aimlessly she asked what I wanted to do. "I believe I'm the one courting you darlin. You decide." I smiled as she shifted cutely while keeping her head down

"You're courting me?" She laughed at my term but I didn't mind. Yes I was southern and yes I was old fashioned.

"Indeed I am, ma'am." She laughed at me before stepping in front of my path to halt my advance. I looked down at her and she starred back with a grin.

"You don't have to do that. I'm already yours." Her words were soft but caused a powerful reaction in me. I picked her up immediately and pressed her up against the closest wall harshly. She grunted slightly from the force but pulled me closer to her. I couldn't deny the possessive nature her words caused in me. She was MINE. The idea was exciting especially physically. My body responded as soon as I pressed myself to her. My hands grabbed her thighs and wrapped her legs around me.

We seemed to find ourselves in this position a lot and I figured it would be the case for awhile as our 'passions' only grew stronger for each-other. I wanted her so badly but I didn't know what the right thing was. Were we rushing this? Was I fighting this to much? I pulled away with tremendous effort and rested my forehead to hers. We were both breathing harshly as she stroked my hair and I clasped her face. "Tell me a secret, darling girl." I needed a distraction. Anything to take my mind from the only thing I could think of.

"I wish you wouldn't keep stopping us." God, that was the opposite of helpful. I groaned and laid my forehead on her shoulder. She stroked my hair sweetly while laughing at my pain. If I didn't love her so much I would be terribly annoyed by her laughter.

"You aren't funny, love."

"I wasn't trying to be." She pressed her lower half to mine and I growled before kissing her again. She was playing with fire and needed to stop. The moment I kissed her I pressed her even more into the wall. If I pressed any harder I knew I would take a chunk out of the wall as a result.

"Get a room!" Some nearby human shouted the words with a laugh but I couldn't deny the words had merit. I gave her one last kiss before setting her down.

Our eyes didn't leave each-other as we came down from our high. _**CONCERN.**_ "Are you okay?" Alice reached up to stroke my cheek and her touch was doing nothing to help my 'situation.' Her touch was driving me wild with _**LUST**_ and I didn't know how to keep reigning it in. I leaned down and gave her a small kiss before smiling at her.

"I'm wonderful, darlin." She clearly wasn't convinced as she looked at me for a moment before glancing around. After a couple moments she looked back at me in _**SHAME and UNDERSTANDING.**_

"Is this hard for you? Being around so many humans?" She spoke in a whisper. Technically she was right but it didn't matter. I would have to get used to being around human scent eventually.

"It's nothing I cant handle, sweetheart." She shook her head before pulling me to the trees. I didn't know where to go but it didn't matter.

…...

We found ourselves back in my motel room and she was propped up against my chest as we sat against my headboard. Her back was to me and we sat quietly for awhile, keeping our hands intertwined across her torso. I hadn't forgotten about the things we needed to talk about and now was probably the best time.

"Did you disagree with what your sister said earlier?" I chose to start with the easier question.

"What?" _**CONFUSION.**_ She shifted slightly and gave me that adorable confused face that always made me chuckle.

"Rosalie mentioned that we don't know each-other. Do you agree with that?" I didn't know my feelings on this topic. Truthfully we didn't know each-other well but that didn't stop how we felt.

"Well we don't know a lot about each-other but isn't that what all this 'courting' is for?" She looked back at me with her brows raised and a big smile on her face. I leaned forward and gave her a kiss between her raised brows, then her nose and finally her lips. She kissed me back eagerly but I pulled back after just a moment. She narrowed her eyes and I smirked.

"Well then, I suppose you should start telling me about yourself." She narrowed her eyes more and I laughed.

"I believe the objective is for BOTH of us to learn more about each-other. You have to tell me all about you as well."

"Of course darlin." I gave a slight head bow as she looked at me. She smiled happily before turning back around.

…...

We spent hours talking after that. My favorite things about her were all the small things. I learned her favorite color was yellow because she thought it was the 'happiest color'. When she told me that I fell more in love with her. She was so beautiful, in every little way. I also learned her favorite shape was a clover because she believed it brought good luck. I laughed hard at that one and she shrugged unashamed.

I gave as good as I got. She asked me random questions and I answered every one of them without hesitation. I wanted her to know me. I was surprised by how many questions she asked were about my human years. At first I thought she did this because she was worried about bringing up bad vampire memories but I realized that was certainly not the reason. She did this because she had zero human memories herself, not even faded ones. Her eyes held such interest as I told her every little thing. We sat crossed legged across from each-other as we talked about everything. I actually remembered a great deal of my human years. I'm not sure how but I'd managed to maintain quite a bit.

She hesitated before asking me if I'd had any childhood pets. I told her I'd had a dog named Sarge when I was a kid. She was truly captivated by that and when I asked why, she explained she had always wanted a puppy but animals were scared of vampires. I laughed at her statement. Count on my sunshine pixy to want a puppy when she feeds off wolves.

Eventually the sun was high and I knew we'd been talking for well over eight hours. I wasn't counting the time though, I was savoring every second.

"How would you describe yourself in just a few words?" She smiled through the question and I waited for elaboration.

"Well..." Her face did that scrunched up thing as she thought through her words and I suppressed the urge to pounce her again. "... are you an optimist, a pessimist, a soldier, a general, a joker, a thinker,..." She trailed off and gestured with her hand for me to respond.

"I'm a realist." She rolled her eyes so I elaborated. "I don't believe in magic that means anythings possible, but I don't believe the world is out to get me either. I believe in trying and personal accountability. I don't believe in free rides or being a victim. I'm the person who hopes for the best but will always have a plan for the worst." She listened intently to my small rant and nodded as she processed it all.

"I suspect there's more to all that." She smiled encouragingly and I watched her while taking a deep breath.

"I've hunted animals since meeting you." Her eyes widened at that. Why that came out as my response I wasn't 100 percent sure of, but the words were out now. I suppose it had a lot to do with my fears of failure involving the 'vegetarian' lifestyle.

"Really?" She smiled and I gave a small one back.

"Yes. I took down three animals while you and Edward were away." She nodded.

"I could have gone with you." There was no accusation in her tone or even any hurt, just _**ENCOURAGEMENT.**_ I smiled at her.

"I suppose part of me needed to do it on my own, to prove that I could. I wanted to do it for me, not the wolves, not your family, but because it was what I wanted." Alice sat up on her knees before leaning forward and giving me one light kiss while resting her arms on my shoulders, her hands dangling behind me unclasped. She gazed at me and radiated **_WARMTH, PRIDE,_** and **_LOVE_**. She sat back down with a big smile after the brief kiss. _**PRIDE, LOVE, ADORATION, JOY.**_ I matched every feeling she gave me plus some.

"I also hunted again after the confrontation with the wolves." She seemed puzzled by that.

"So soon after hunting before?" And there it was. She cut to the root of my insecurity with her question.

I kept my eyes on her as I reached forward and brought her to my lap where she straddled me while looking at me with concern. I guess I should lay it all out for her now. I watched her for a few moments before I voiced all my doubts about this lifestyle.

I explained how the thirst didn't 'go away' with the animal blood. I'd had three of them and I wasn't even that thirsty when I hunted them to begin with. I told her of my concern that the thirst would always be there. I told her how 'unsatisfied' I felt and that the feeling of 'want' was still there even now after having fed about 24 hours ago. I starred into her eyes as I asked the rhetorical question, 'Would this feeling cause me to slip?' When I voiced that concern she held my hand gently but didn't speak.

Next I mentioned how much weaker I felt with animal blood than I had with human. I explained my theory about the difference being partially caused by that constant 'thirst' sensation I only had from animal blood. This on top of human blood being our species 'preferred' choice of food caused our bodies to not be at our full strength. This left me feeling a bit insecure. I was always strong and now that I had Alice I needed to be even stronger. Would I slip just out of desire to be as strong as I used to be?

Next I told her about the elevated senses, making me even more aware of human scent then normal. I told her how I'd spent over a century avoiding humans at all costs resulting in me being far more 'sensitive' to human scent then probably any member of her family was. I didn't voice my concern that I would be a 'weak link' in her world as a result of my predatory ways though the worry plagued me. I hated the idea that I could attack a human in one moment of weakness and disappoint her in the process.

She hugged me and I held her back tightly for awhile after I voiced all of my fears. I'd never aired any insecurities to someone before and I'd just laid a lot on Alice. She listened so easily too, giving no false words of comfort and no judgments, just a listening ear. I pulled back and held her head just above the back of her neck, so that I could watch her. God I loved her eyes. Again I thought about the differences between the two of us. Our physical characteristics truly symbolized our differences. Her beautiful eyes showing how beautiful she was. She'd never harmed a soul where my red eyes showed exactly how soulless I was as a result of all the blood I'd shed.

It wasn't just her eyes that represented how perfect she was though. Her smile could floor me no matter what else was going on. There was so much beauty, kindness and warmth in her smile that I wondered how it was possible that THIS creature was mine?

My skin was scarred showing how many of our own kind I'd fought and killed, she didn't have a mark on her, aside from the small mark on her neck she'd gotten when she was turned. As that thought came to me my eyes went to the tiny mark on the left side of her neck above her collar bone. I leaned in and kissed it sweetly before hugging her as tightly as I could. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she silently began playing with my hair like she always did.

I breathed in her scent and smiled at how much comfort I got from such a small thing. Where would I be without her? I'd spent over a century just existing then I met her and my whole world shifted. My life was much easier before, no doubt about that. I fed, I wondered, I would occasional sleep then I repeated the process. Now my life was complicated... and messy. There were werewolves, treaties and boundary lines, human neighbors, disapproving fathers, angry siblings, new emotions, and a lot of self-doubt. I'd never had to worry about any of this before but still all of this was nothing if it meant I had Alice.

How could I ever deserve her? How could I ever show her how much she meant to me? I suppose the only answer was to try. To spend the rest of my eternity deserving this amazing woman.

We held each-other for a long while, in no hurry to break apart. I never would have thought such simple touches could make everything so perfect. Every little caress made me feel unstoppable but somehow kept me humbled as well. There was just so much to feel that I reveled in just allowing myself to truly experience it all. I'd kept myself closed off for so long, with the only emotions I felt belonging to others. Now I could feel and for once it was genuinely me.

My senses were overloaded with every touch she gave. The way her fingers lightly stroked my hair and how her arms gently draped over my shoulders brought the utmost comfort to me. Her small kisses to my cheek and neck left me paralyzed. Lastly there was every inch of her body, pressed to every inch of mine. This of course aroused every part of my body to the point that I never wanted to let her go.

After awhile Alice spoke. "Do you you have a plan now? If things get... worse." Her question was so soft but the implications were deafening.

I grabbed her chin firmly and pulled her to look me directly in the eye. "I will not allow this..." I placed my hand gently over her heart and left it there as I spoke. "...to ever get... worse." I tapped over her heart gently before intertwining our fingers and bringing them to my lips before kissing her hand softly. "I will always be here, with you. No back-up plan and no alternative route is even possible. You're all I see darlin, and the only thing I want."

She hugged me tight and I held her back just as tight. I was relieved we were getting all of this laid out and she seemed to need it too. I hadn't realized how much of a weight it had been on me till now. There was still another issue though. One that I had no idea how she would respond.

"Alice?" I rarely used her name and she seemed to notice as she cocked her head and looked at me curiously.

"Yes?" _**GUARDED.**_ It definitely stood out that I'd called her by her name.

"Why were you upset by what I said earlier?" Her emotion switched to confusion. "When I told your family that I had no intention of joining your coven you were sad." She starred back at me as I explained but didn't comment. "And there have been other times when I have made a reference to being... separate from your family that you have been upset by my words."

I left my words at that, as I waited patiently for her to answer. She continued to look at me for a moment before looking down. She was sitting slightly back on my lap now with her hands clasped on her lap. She didn't keep her gaze away for long this time. She looked back up at me before taking a deep breath.

"I was upset that..." Her brow furrowed and she looked off to the side before glancing back at me. "...you don't consider yourself WITH us...me."

I brushed her hair behind her ear and tried to think of the words to explain. "Darlin, I don't know how to be that." I nodded my head in the direction of her home. I knew she got my point as she nodded. "I've always been alone. Even when I wasn't somehow I was. For better or worse I've takin care of myself and that's what I know." I stroked her cheek while I smiled at her big doe-eyes. "It doesn't change anything though." I spoke firmly and she bit her lip as she continued to look confused.

"I am WITH you." I knew that wasn't completely enough but I didn't know how to explain it all to her. How do I explain that I don't feel like one of the people my soul mate holds most dear? Knowing Alice she would take that blame on herself. It wasn't anyone's fault though, I just didn't know how to be that for her.

"I don't expect you to follow us." I tilted my head as _**SHAME**_ radiated off her. I held her chin and stroked her jaw, waiting for her to explain. "I was upset because I feel like you've made so MANY changes since meeting us but you still don't feel like you belong with us..."

I cut her off with a kiss before she could take anymore blame on herself. She wrapped her arms around me and the kiss, as usual, deepened significantly. I lowered her to the bed and laid softly on top of her. My hands held her face with my elbows buried in the mattress on either side of her shoulders. Her arms wrapped around my waist and she dragged her fingers up an down my back slowly.

After a few moments I rested my head to her forehead and breathed in and out. "Tell me a secret." I chuckled at her words, repeats from my own earlier.

"I don't think I'll ever be worthy of you." I don't know what made me say that but it came out.

"Why?" We held our positions as we spoke in whispers.

"I don't believe I'll be able to live like you do..." I didn't want to say the words 'without human blood' but I was sure she could read between the lines.

We stayed like that for awhile and I expected her to say something but she didn't. I lifted myself off her and saw her eyes were glazed over. As I watched a small smile came to her face. What was she seeing?

She snapped out of it with a mischievous grin on her face. My eyes narrowed and she grinned wider. "What did you see darlin?" She shook her head slowly. She was challenging me. "Darlin?" I gave her a pointed look.

"Do you want to know what kind of person I am? How I would describe myself?" My narrowed look deepened. Why was she asking that? She was turning around the question she'd asked me earlier. The one that started our whole tense conversation. I decided to play her game, because if nothing else it would keep her smiling. I leaned down and gave her one small peck before lifting myself up onto all fours above her.

"What kind of person are you? How would you describe yourself?" Quick as a flash she rolled away from me on the bed before popping up next to it with a triumphant smile. She held both hands out to me before I could even process she'd moved. Whatever she'd seen was very exciting. I sat up and put my hands in hers. She pulled at me and I stood hesitantly. She quickly moved behind me and placed her hands over my eyes after steering me in whatever direction she needed.

"Walk." Was it wrong that in the face of the complete oddity of the situation I was incredibly turned on by her commanding me? I followed as she began to lead me. I chuckled at how much she struggled to reach up to cover my eyes. "You say that you are a realist, the type that doesn't believe in magic or miracles." She led me to my bathroom then we stopped. She didn't take her hands off me but she didn't speak either, at least not right away. "Do you still want to know who I am?" I nodded, more intrigued now then I was moments ago.

"I'm the one who believes in magic." With that she uncovered my eyes and I looked into my bathroom mirror, where two sets of gold eyes looked back.

 **END NOTES:**

*** I hope everyone loved this chapter. Not my fastest update but not my slowest either. I was working a TON this last week so I wasn't able to write or beta at all. Remember my average update time frame is about every 3 days. Not to bad. :-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Little WONDERS" by Rob Thomas- This song was actually my wedding song. It's about letting go of all the stresses in life and enjoying all the small things with the person you love.

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	16. Don't stop BELIEVING

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

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\- **A little foreshadowing in the first paragraph. *No peaking ahead. I'm watching you. LOL***

\- **The story up to this point has been a lot of character development. That should lessen a lot now.**

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 **Chapter#16: Don't stop BELIEVING**

 **JPOV**

 **...NOW FOR A TASTE OF THINGS TO COME...**

 **(Yes, this is a mortal combat reference. lol)**

 _How did I get here? This moment? All my feelings in this one nanosecond shifted from just a couple moments before. I've seen and felt so much but I've never experienced emotions change so much in one little moment. How did I get here? I want my last moments back. Is this moment even real? How can it be when just a couple seconds earlier everything was as it should be? As I gazed across the room my eyes rested on the 6 other sets gazing back. Each set showed a different person underneath, and very different people at that. My eyes could only rest on one pair in particular though, regardless of the full room. The pair I usually wanted to look at... the pair I wanted to gaze at forever were both the the only thing I could think of and the furthest thing from my thoughts in this one moment. For once my eyes did not rest on her golden orbs. For once I didn't look at her. This one time someone else had my complete focus..._

 _ **…2 weeks earlier...**_

I couldn't get the image of my eyes out of my mind. They weren't as bright as the rest of the Cullen's and certainly not Alice's, who had the brightest eyes, but the hue was undeniable. They were a darker color than the Cullen's, as all of theirs shone slightly like polished gems. Mine were duller and almost appeared aged like there was steel mixed in with the gold. Alice had taken my silence as we stared into that mirror negatively. "Don't worry about the color..." She sounded frantic but my mind could only half focus on her. We're these actually MY eyes? Was this ME now...? "I promise they'll get lighter..." I realized she hadn't lost her tone as I starred off. Her voice was strained and I read _**SADNESS**_ and _**CONCERN**_ coming off her.

I turned around quickly before grabbing her by the back of her neck and pulling her to me quickly, then kissing her. I had to lean down a lot to reach her but she quickly wrapped her arms around my neck enabling me to stand up straight as she held onto me. The kissing stayed light but deep. I allowed my neck to support all her weight so that I could cradle her face in my hands.

I couldn't contain my feelings and I knew I was unleashing quite a bit of them onto her. _**EXCITEMENT, DISBELIEF, JOY, HOPE, LOVE, LUST.**_ She gasped and I wanted badly to see her reaction but couldn't stop kissing her to do so. I smiled through the kisses as did Alice. There was more humor and joy then anything sexual between us in this moment and I loved that. We could be so intense one moment that it all felt amazingly unbearable, then the next moment everything was so easy. This woman, this 5 year old young vampire had changed me in a matter of days. I went from a renegade that had nothing and belonged nowhere, to someone who actually FIT. I certainly didn't have everything figured out but right now there was nothing more I needed

…...

Begrudgingly I returned with Alice to her home some time later. I would have preferred to stay just the two of us for awhile longer but she missed them. I had been monopolizing her time quite a bit the last few days and figured they must miss her as much as she did them. This was who she was and I more than accepted that.

We walked into the house and for once everyone was engrossed in their own activities. I couldn't see Carlisle but could hear him upstairs in his office, speaking on the phone. Esme was seated at the dining room table with Rosalie and the two of them were focused on a laptop though I couldn't see with what as the back of it was to me. Edward and Emmett were seated in the living room playing video games. That image was beyond strange to me as the idea of partaking in such a human past-time was completely unimaginable. Edward seemed bored by the activity but Emmett was completely engrossed. The screen displayed a bunch of zombies being shot and killed by the two of them. I glanced at Alice who shrugged but smiled. I shook my head but couldn't deny the small smile I got when I thought of her not so vampiric family.

"Hi everyone." Alice still had her right hand placed in my left while she gave a joyful wave with her left despite everyone's focus being on other activities. I smirked at her cute mannerisms. I wondered if she would ever stop seeming cute to me. Everyone said hello back but kept with their activities. We walked forward and Alice lead me to the couch next to where the two were playing video games. I sat down unprompted and Alice sat in my lap automatically. I smiled up at her before looking to the screen just as a zombie attacked Emmett's character.

"GOD DAMMIT." Emmett threw his remote down, and amazingly enough it managed not to break.

"I told you to watch your back but you keep running into every room without thought." Edward actually was scolding him like a child and I had to fight chuckling. Alice had no such hesitation. She laughed out loud and I glanced behind me when I heard the two woman chuckle as well.

"Who's side are you on tink?" Emmett was addressing Alice but his focus stayed on the screen where he had resuming playing the game after having grabbed his remote again.

"Let's see. A world of infinite man-eating zombies versus the last two surviving humans? Obviously I'm rooting for the zombies. I do know math." She spoke with a completely straight face and I couldn't resist laughing at her serious expression. Edward chuckled while nodding his agreement.

"QUITTERS. Luck favors the brave" Emmett chuckled through his mock indignation. I was still watching the screen and I saw what Edward had meant about Emmett just running through a room without thought. Edward seemed to be the methodical one. He was searching through all the side rooms for supplies and the random battle against just a few of the monsters. The two characters were eventually in the same room and Emmett took this as an opportunity to charge in, I assumed he was under the impression that Edward would have his back. Unfortunately for him, he was very much wrong. He had no sooner barreled in that Edward sighed and actually had his character run in the opposite direction, just as Emmett started to get eaten. "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE." Emmett did break the remote this time as he stood up to glare at Edward, who ignored him and continued to play casually. He didn't fool me though his emotions showed _**SMUGNESS, ELATION,**_ and _ **HUMOR**_ at his brothers distress.

"I will ask you to watch your language in front of the lady." I playfully rested my hands over Alice's ears as she laughed and I had to fight my own laughter at her clown of a brother. He turned his glare to me and immediately his expression morphed. He had been _**ANGRY, ANNOYED, BETRAYED?**_ Over a video game... really? Now though he was feeling _**SHOCKED,**_ _ **AMAZED**_ , and _ **CONFUSED.**_ I glanced between him and Edward just as Edwards gaze flashed to mine like I had called his name.

"HOLY SHIT! Your eyes!" I rolled said eyes as I heard the whole family enter the room now. I should have anticipated this reaction but I suppose I had hoped somewhere in the back of my mind that they wouldn't notice.

"What did I just say about your language?" I was clearly deflecting but on the other hand he had shouted 4 swear words in less than the five minutes Alice and I had been back. He ignored me, as did everyone else, as he actually pointed at me in shock. I frowned and closed my eyes briefly, trying to reign in the urge to simply leave. I despised the spotlight and always had. I didn't even fully understand their interest. I told them I'd be switching to animal blood. My appearance shouldn't be that big of a shock.

"When did that happen?" At least he wasn't shouting now. Every Cullen was surrounding us and Alice was still seated on my lap. I heaved a sigh while glancing around at all of them. This was one of the things that made me doubt I'd be able to be in this coven comfortably. They were in each-others business way to much. I was sure they had the best of intentions but to me it was simply violating, or at the very least awkward.

"Obviously it happened while we were out." He rolled his eyes and I chanced a glance at all the rest of them. Carlisle was watching me intensely with a look of surprise. Esme was smiling kindly at Alice who was smiling back, a silent but clear mother daughter moment. Edward was watching Rosalie with a furrowed expression while she glared out the window. Well at least she was keeping her venom to herself for once.

"No shit. Sherlock." I frowned at Emmett's language. "I meant when did you drink animal blood?" I shrugged dismissively like it didn't really matter.

"He went hunting when Edward and I did." Alice spoke through waves of _**JOY.**_ I shook my head as I smiled at the back of her head. She was sitting up straight in my lap while addressing her family. Her stance was both protective and prideful. She was proud of me and wanted them to know it.

"How did it go?" Carlisle was trying to reign in his curiosity but it was still obvious.

"As good as could be expected. I took down three animals and drained them." I averted my gaze to Alice who had turned back to me. I was grateful for a place to look that wasn't at them. I knew they would want details of any struggles I had but I hoped to avoid that. I didn't want to be prideful but I simply wasn't used to admitting weakness. I was trained to conquer them or failing that, hide them away.

"How did you feel afterwards?" Carlisle spoke again and Alice cuddled closer to me. She rested her head under my chin as she curled into me and held one of my hands in-between both of hers. My other arm wrapped around her waist so my hand could rest on her thigh. I wasn't sure if I was holding her out of need to protect or because I needed the comfort. She knew my discomfort on this topic, I didn't need to voice it. As a result she was silently offering her support. I kept my gaze on Carlisle as I weighed what to say.

Everything in me wanted to avoid this at all costs. I wanted to give them nothing and just keep it all inside. Alice continued to stroke and grasp my hand and I was reminded that I wasn't alone. This family had been accommodating to me, with one exception. They had offered up their personal stories, some of which I knew were very hard to relive. They have also been kind, something I was not used to. I glanced at Esme, the one who had been kindest next to Alice. She was standing next to her mate and smiled back at me. I took a deep breath before clutching Alice that much closer to myself. I hadn't forgotten my promise to myself. I had vowed that I would spend the rest of my eternity trying to earn her love. Letting down my barriers just a little bit and trusting the people that meant so much to her was a way I could do that.

I could feel the tension in my whole body at the idea of doing this. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I weighed my words. I felt a feather light touch on my neck and I smiled internally knowing it was Alice giving me a small kiss of encouragement. She wasn't going to pressure me to do this, she wasn't even going to ask. She was simply going to be here for me, further proving why I NEEDED to do this. I may not want to do this for myself but I would for her.

So I did it. I told all of them about the differences I noticed after feeding. I told them about the elevated senses. I told them about the continued thirst, no matter how much I fed. They all listened well as they gave their complete focus. They nodded in agreement and understanding as I explained it all. Lastly I brought up the weakened state the animal blood left me in. It was hard to say the words but in the end I got them out.

To my complete shock Emmett laughed while agreeing wholeheartedly. He explained that his physical strength was so much stronger than any vampire he'd met even the carnivorous ones. He also explained that in the last month or so of his newborn year, despite the fact that most of his 'advanced skills' had faded his strength alone remained on par with that of a fresh newborn. That had changed when his eyes shifted gold and his strength significantly lessened immediately. He was still stronger than mature vampires but wasn't quite on the level a newborn was. He expressed, jokingly of course, that it almost made the dietary choice not worth it. Everyone looked at him with a mixture of _**SHOCK**_ and _**AGITATION.**_ He shrugged at all of them unashamed and I couldn't resist laughing. As tasteless as his joke was, it was quite amusing all the same.

"Don't encourage him, Jasper." Esme shook her head while fighting a smile just as she walked past where we were seated. Seemingly without thinking of it she gently patted my shoulder, not having her touch linger. Somehow I didn't flinch at the casual and innocent touch. I even gave her a light smile in response as she exited to the kitchen to answer the phone.

As quickly as everything had gotten tense the mood switched back to easy. Edward put his remote down and made a movement to stand and leave but Emmett quickly tried to force him to stay, claiming that 'the game is more fun with two people'. Edward argued that they had played for over 3 hours and hadn't beat the first level because of him. Emmett ignored the truth of the statement and continued ranting until Edward got up, placed the remote on mine and Alice's lap before making a point to rub his hands together in a "I'm done motion' before heading to the piano at the end of the room.

"Pussy." Emmett mumbled as Edward started playing classical music I was unfamiliar with. He was actually really good but I was to distracted by the remote Edward had placed in mine and Alice's laps to pay much attention.

I picked up the remote as Emmett grabbed a replacement for his own from the entertainment center. I glanced at it curiously. I'd never played a video game before and I didn't fully see the appeal. I handed the remote to Alice who shook her head aggressively.

"Oh no. I hate this game." She crossed her arms and looked away frowning. I couldn't help but smile at her expression.

I pulled her closer and whispered into her ear. "I didn't think you were capable of hating anything, darlin." She tilted her chin and tried not to look at me but I kissed her cheek earning a look from her, complete with a smile.

"She thinks this game is depressing. She feels bad for the zombies." Emmett rolled his eyes and I couldn't fight the wide smile on my face as I watched her hang her head sheepishly. Seriously? She felt bad for the zombies?

"Well I just don't think anyone even tries to help them." Her voice was full of compassion as she explained her point of view to me. "No one is looking for a cure or even trying to reason with them. It's not the zombies fault that they are the way they are. The game just wants you to shoot them all." She kept her arms crossed as her expression went from sad to annoyed. "I just find the whole thing sick." I watched her for a moment as I processed her little rant. Leave it to my mate to find the good in mindless eating machines.

"You're so beautiful." The words came out of my mouth without thought after a moment. Her face tilted back to me as her arms relaxed to her side. I cradled her close and kissed her once on the cheek before tucking her in even closer to me.

"UGH! You're even turning the family bad-ass into a softy over FICTIONAL ZOMBIES!" Emmett was both _**DISGUSTED**_ and _**AMUSED**_ at the same time. "For God-sake Alice, it's just a game." He rolled his eyes as he looked to the screen and began resetting it all. She stuck her tongue out at him and he flashed her the evil eye, having seen her in the T.V. Reflection.

I chuckled as Emmett was forced to play alone, still not getting past the first level...

…...

The next few days went by so fast and were the most relaxing days I could recall ever having. The family was staying close together since the 'kids', I used their term loosely, would be starting school in another week. I still couldn't wrap my head around the idea of high school for vampires. With the exception of Alice, who had never gone, all four of them had done this a couple times at least. Edward, the oldest member of the coven next to Carlisle, at 116, had gone through the process the most. This would mark his eighteenth time going through high-school, at least partly. How the thoughts of that many teenagers hadn't driven him mad was beyond me.

He explained that he had gone through college three times as well, actually earning a couple medical degrees, just as Carlisle had, as well as a law degree. That was difficult to process as well. I'd tried not to dwell on what Carlisle did for a 'living' but when I did think about it I had no idea how he managed. The small town doctor that he was here wasn't all he'd done in his past either. He'd been an actual surgeon for a number of the families 'covers'. A vampire operating on a human, with all the blood around. How did the family do all of this?

Peter and Charlotte had no qualms about pressing for all the details the family had to offer of their lifestyle. They had shown up about 48hours after my eyes had changed color and had a lot to say on the subject. To say they were surprised would be an understatement as when they had first spotted me they had actually jumped slightly at the sight. This of course was hilarious to Emmett who mocked them both relentlessly as a result. Peter proceeded to grill me in a completely serious way about if I was 'here of my own free will' and if I had been offered anything 'strange to drink'. I laughed at his cult references and he managed to keep his dead serious expression for a while before his laughter came through.

It was all takin in stride and the two groups learned more about each-other. It was clear to the Cullen's, though I doubted they had thought otherwise, that my old friends would not be trying the vegetarian way of life but the groups got along in spite of it. It was now less than a week until they would be starting school and I had no idea what I would do in this town...family...coven when they did. I had procrastinated even allowing myself to think of it and to my surprise Alice hadn't brought it up at all.

I knew it was on her mind as she talked about school non-stop. She had built up ideas in her head of what school would be like and most of the ideas were hilarious. She had taken to watching any and all high school movies with me whenever we got a chance. She asked every-time if I was okay with it and because of the hope in her eyes I couldn't refuse. The movies didn't do anything for me but they had their perks.

She had watched the movies so intently, learning about fashion trends, cliques, as well as social do's and dont's. She had asked me which group she would be in and I had told her she would be the 'good girl'. When she asked why, I'd given her a rogueish smile before responding. "Because Darlin, I would be seen as a _bad boy_ , and bad boys always go for the good girl." She had smiled cutely at my explanation, causing me to wink at her.

I enjoyed watching her inner clockwork as she took what I was sure were detailed mental notes of each movie we watched. Her facial expressions were adorable as were all the questions she asked me about the stories. At first I mostly told her I didn't know but as time went on I found it more fun to toy with her with my responses.

"I don't understand this at all." She sounded almost sad through her _**CONFUSED**_ emotions.

I smiled sensing an opportunity to play with her a bit. "What don't you understand, love?" We were laying in her bedroom watching 'She's the man'. The movie was so ridiculous I was actually quite amused by it.

"The plot is that Olivia is impersonating her brother at his new school so that she can try out for the soccer team and beat her old schools team to prove she's good enough..." She trailed off and I nodded, though she couldn't see me as I laid behind her.

"Yes." I was pretty sure I knew where she was going with this and couldn't wait for her to take the bait.

"Well, I know that she's covering her brother while he's in London but how come no one notices that she isn't at her own school? No one has called her parents about her absence?" There was concern in her tone as she actually felt bad for the character not being noticed by her old school.

"Maybe she was only noticeable because she was an athlete. Since the soccer team was cut she wasn't significant to the school anymore." Alice turned to me quickly with wide eyes. I shrugged while fighting the urge desperately to laugh.

"That's awful. Everyone notices the brother but not her? She's so sweet and makes friends with everyone." I was seeing that Alice was relating to the Olivia character and had to laugh at the idea that someone could NOT notice her. She was beautiful, kind, sweet, and graceful.

I laughed as I rolled her to face me allowing me to kiss her deeply once. "It's just a movie darlin, don't read to much into it." She pursed her face and I had to kiss her again because she was just to cute not to.

She came up with a huge plot hole in every single movie we watched or at least she found a question that was left unanswered. I had only noticed a couple myself which showed the level I was paying attention compared to her. Eventually we got to the movie 'Dirty Dancing' and I was more than happy to use any of the hotter scenes in the movie to distract her with kissing and touches that made the movie seem tame.

By the time there was only a few days left before school started, Peter and Charlotte had explained that it was time for them to go. They would be heading south to Brazil for awhile this time. Peter had been acting strangely for a few days, casting me smirks whenever I read oddities in his emotions. He hadn't said anything but I knew he had something up his sleeve. As a result of my curiosity I couldn't resist agreeing to take them to the border of the US at Arizona before returning to Washington.

Alice had immediately seemed saddened when I told her, so I had immediately changed my mind and told her I would stay if that was what she wanted. Emmett took the chance to make whipping sounds at me to which I eyed Rosalie, then him with a raised eyebrow as Rosalie shot him a glare. He was immediately apologetic to her but she ignored him. Oh yes, I WAS the whipped one. I internally rolled my eyes at the thought. Alice insisted that she understood and knew I didn't get to see Peter and Charlotte much. She was only upset because she wanted to be able to tell me all about her first day of school. Admittedly I wanted to be there for her even more than she wanted me there. I may not understand her interest in such a human thing but since it was important to her I cared as well. I told her I would only miss the first day or two at the most before I was back. She agreed, even playfully scolding me that I had 'better not be late." I chuckled before preparing to leave with my friends without a lot of heavy emotions, with the exception of Alice of course.

The family told us all goodbye and were happy to hear that I would be back soon. Everyone gave the two of us a few minutes alone and Alice's brave demeanor faltered as soon as we were alone outside her home. We hadn't been apart longer than half a day since finding each-other. This caused the impeding 3+ day separation to feel beyond daunting. Mates typically did not separate, doing most everything together and I now knew why. It felt so unnatural to even think of being apart from her. The very moment we were alone her posture reflected how sad she was and I heard a small sob come from her. Without even thinking about it I grabbed her and pressed her up against a tree so that I could hold her up to my height but keep my hands free to cradle her face. I kissed her sweetly but she deepened it quickly, not that I minded in the least.

"Ask me to stay." I whispered the words as I kissed her but she shook her head no while simultaneously releasing another small sob. She was trying to keep them in but was failing miserably. She was such an honest person that her emotions were right on her sleeve, for all to see. Her honesty was just one of the infinite reasons I loved her so much. My heart broke from the sounds she made out of sadness. Why couldn't she just ask me to stay? "I'm staying." My words were firm and just as she started to shake her head more in disagreement I kissed her again to stop it. She wrapped her arms around my neck as we kissed for a few minutes. I resolved to tell them I wouldn't be able to go but to my surprise Alice pulled back giving me one last firm 'no'. I held her face with my left hand as I used my right to rub her cheek repeatedly down to her neck. "Baby, I'll stay." I sounded like I was asking not telling. I was realizing there was nothing I wouldn't do for her, especially when what she wanted was simply my presence.

"No, you should go." She sniffled slightly and I honestly felt powerless by the sound and that upset me more than I thought possible. "You don't get to see them much, and we both know you will see them even less now, with everything so different." She was very right about that. As it was; Peter, Charlotte and I rarely saw each-other but now with my unofficial joining of the Olympic coven, those visits would be even rarer. I sighed as I rested my head to her shoulder while she immediately started stroking my hair with her fingertips.

"I don't want to leave you, darlin." I looked up and kissed her forehead as she nodded.

"I don't want you to go..." I went to interrupt, desperate to seize the chance to please her. Before I could say anything though she clasped both of her hands over my mouth before leaning in and whispering through her hands to me softly... "I don't want you to go, but you should. They are important to you and so they are important to me." She smiled at me though it was a sad smile. I wanted to argue that she was more important to me than anything but I also knew she wouldn't be swayed and I didn't want to sully our parting with a pointless disagreement.

I pulled her hands gently from my face before I spoke softly. "I'll go but I promise to be back as soon as I can." She nodded while keeping her smile in place though with great effort. I gave her another kiss before setting her down on the ground and holding her face again. "I love you, with everything I am." She smiled and nodded. She wanted to speak but it was obvious her voice would crack if she spoke to soon.

"I love you too, with everything I have." I smiled before kissing her one last time before I turned and ran off to catch up with Peter and Charlotte.

…...

To say I was in a bad mood would be putting it quite nicely. We had been traveling for about 10 hours, alternating between running at vampire speed and walking at a human pace. I hated when they switched to human speed as the longer this took the longer I was away from Alice. Rationally I knew that traveling at a slower speed meant we didn't burn through blood as fast and we wouldn't have to stop and sleep, but I wasn't thinking about logic. I couldn't get Alice's heartbreaking sobs out of my head and every piece of my body was screaming to go back to her. That voice that used to rule my every thought...

That logical side that had hesitated about Alice from the start was forever silenced. It was no longer in the background, it was just gone. There was no part of me that didn't want to be by her side always.

"How you doing there, General?" Peter's tone was teasing as we walked through Nevada. I glared at him while releasing a very menacing growl. _**FEAR, ANGER, FRUSTRATION.**_ Peter noticeably jumped at my reaction but kept a smile on his face. "You know you were a lot more intimidating when you had red eyes." He stated with a shrug and I growled further.

"Do you want to see how intimidating I can be?" I couldn't help how hostile I felt as I spoke. Despite coming with them being mine and Alice's choice the possessive side of me wanted someone to blame for our separation. Unfortunately for Peter he was the perfect choice.

"Not really. That would probably slow us down more." He smiled innocently and Charlotte laughed.

"Why the hell are we walking anyway?" I gestured with my hand to nowhere in-particular.

"To save our energy, duh." Charlotte spoke while climbing a tree to get a birds eye view of our route. I honestly was fighting the urge to hurt them both now.

"Well since we're taking a short break..." Peter spoke easily but I interrupted.

"Since when are we taking a break?" Peter acted as if I hadn't spoken, as he looked at his watch and then up to where Charlotte was, just as she hopped down, landing next to him. She nodded while shooting me a smirk. "What are you two planning?" Normally my emotions would be curious and maybe a little annoyed at their schemes but now all I felt was anger. They were keeping me from Alice, whether on purpose or not.

"We're taking you somewhere." Charlotte threaded her arm through mine and started to tug me in the direction of the human city of Las Vegas. I was enraged as soon as I realized their destination. Vegas was a favorite spot for vampires to hunt humans. There were so many people going in and out that disappearances were common and easy to cover up.

"I... DON"T... HUNT... HUMANS." I spoke each word with more malice than I thought I could ever direct at the two of them. Did they really want me to drink human blood again? I really didn't think it could be that big of a desire for them. They couldn't force me after all so I shouldn't be taking it so badly. However the very thought of doing it... of disappointing Alice, of disappointing myself was disgusting to me. I hadn't realized until this exact moment how important this diet was to me. I knew I wanted to succeed but I didn't know how much it meant to me in every way.

Charlotte stepped back while sighing heavily and glancing at Peter who was clearly _**IRRITATED,**_ and _**ANGRY.**_ "Calm down, General. We aren't taking you there to make you 'cheat on your diet.'" Peter rolled his eyes mockingly and despite his tone I relaxed considerably.

"Are you going to come with us?" Charlotte resumed her easy-going tone as she resumed her place by my side. I looked between the two and nodded. I would agree if for no reason other than to apologize for my reaction.

We got to the city at a human pace just as the sun had gone down. That explained Peter checking his watch. This was a sunny state and we didn't want to stand out. I considered what they had taken me here for. To my surprise we headed to a small building on the far outskirts of the central part of it all. The building was unlabeled and seemed to blend in with the very background of the landscape. I looked at them curiously as they watched me while smiling. The lights weren't even on in the building. Why were we here? I voiced my question out loud and Peter finally explained.

"We wanted you to know how happy we are for you Jasper." I watched him confused as he continued. "You've never been HAPPY before. At best I've seen you content but that isn't enough. This new coven, this lifestyle, your mate... It's very clear that you're happy now." I nodded as my gaze flickered between the two of them.

"...but we also know who you are, quite well in fact." Charlotte chimed in and Peter nodded. It was so irritating when they spoke like this, each one switching off speaking. "You keep yourself guarded, apart from those around you. I know you don't do it on purpose and I'm sure you will always be this way, it's who you are. But as your best friends, we are stepping in this once." She raised her chin defiantly and I raised an eyebrow as the feeling of being completely lost settled over me. What were they talking about?

The next couple hours proceeded to be one of the oddest experiences I ever had. The building, as it turned out, was a 'business' that handled false identifications. Another question of why we were in Vegas was answered as I imagined these businesses were common place here. They had already contacted the 'businessman' here by the name of Mr. Allen and placed an order for me. I had no idea why I would need false credentials and unfortunately the two were set on telling me very little. They had brought me here simply because pictures were needed in order to complete the papers.

Out of sheer curiosity I allowed the human to take my picture though I kept him at a safe distance from myself. We were told everything would be done by the end of the day tomorrow. The time frame seemed impressive and I gathered the reason for it was the intimidating nature of the vampires placing the demands. The human was clearly scared of Peter, which was a normal human response to our kind, but he remained poised during the whole endeavor.

I interrogated the two as soon as we left as I hadn't wanted to speak about anything in front of the human. They said I would have to wait and see. I mustered up patience I wouldn't have thought possible, to do just that, and the following evening we were back at the office to collect whatever they had ordered me. I was handed the envelope but didn't open it until we were a safe distance from the building.

I opened the envelope while sensing the _**SMUGNESS**_ and _**HUMOR**_ coming off them. There were actually a few documents, all of which looked incredibly genuine. A drivers license was the first I found and it was registered in the state of Washington. I looked at them with pure confusion and they shrugged while gesturing for me to keep looking. The second document was a birth certificate which stated my birthplace as Galveston Texas, well at least that was accurate. My age, according to both documents, was 16. I frowned at that with a small amount of disgust. That was quite young when compared to my 173 years. That plus my memories of actually being 16-17 made me very hesitant. Charlotte laughed but I ignored her as I continued to look through all the identification pieces. Next there was a passport. I shrugged that off as I didn't know what I would need one for. The last two sets of documents made my eyes immediately flash to my former coven.

"We had a feeling you would need them." Charlotte kissed me on the cheek while Peter gave me a salute. As quick as a flash they left, always for the dramatic entrances and exits. I glanced down at the documents and smiled. I looked back toward Washington and immediately began running back... back home.

…...

I made it back to Seattle by 10am on Thursday, the first day of school. Why school started in the middle of the week was odd to me but it wasn't important. What was important was what was going to happen next. I had run all the way here from Vegas as I was desperate to see Alice. As a result I needed a charge. I took down the first animal I found and was pleased that for the first time since trying this diet, that one was enough, at least for now. I still felt the dull hunger but it wasn't as bad as the last two times I'd hunted animals.

I made good time as I hit Forks by noon. Correction... I hit Forks HIGH school by noon. I stood outside the building honestly wondering what I was doing. Was I really about to walk into this building? I looked down at the bag in my hands. Among the, shall I say traditional supplies of a notebook, pens and paper, there were the documents. The last two sets of paper from that envelope had been enrollment for Forks High school and 'proof of emancipation'. Since my 'credentials' had me as a minor I needed documents claiming me as a legal adult. I was at least appreciative that my friends hadn't put me in the care of a social worker or something equally horrible. I was sure the idea had crossed Charlotte's warped sense of humor but Peter would have most likely reigned it in.

I remembered my conversation with Esme and I smirked thinking back at how I had told her I would be a bad influence upon the innocent youth of a high school. Everything I had said was true and here I was, even worse than I'd have thought. The scarred socially inept drifter with no family, a mysterious past, and... I looked back to the parking lot where Peter's 'gift' awaited me. He had left a hidden document among the rest, giving me in his words... a necessity for any rebellious teen. I was neither a teen nor rebellious but apparently he figured I would like the image regardless. No family, a mysterious past, and of course... a motorcycle. I smiled thinking of my conversation with Alice when I'd told her I would be the bad boy and her the good girl.

All of this on top of being late for the first day of school, which thinking back on it now, was probably Peter's hope as well. All part of the image he wanted me to have. I took a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. I walked through the office and was overwhelmed by the human scent. I wasn't lying when I told Alice I had worked hard to avoid humans. The scent was so much worse since I'd started abstaining from human blood and it had been bad before. I spoke very little to the woman, Mrs. Cope, at the desk. Her eyes had widened when she took me in, probably noticing my scars. Human eyes are weak but can still perceive my marks though with only a fraction of the clarity we vampires could.

She tried to be pleasant to me as I breathed slowly through clenched teeth. I knew my image was threatening to say the least but with blood lust, insecurity, nerves, and everything else going through my head I was in no position to comfort her. In fact perhaps a 'bad guy' image was the best way to keep the humans away from me while I was here... however long that was.

"Thank-you." Image or not I was still a gentlemen so when she handed me my schedule and spoke kindly, obviously to scared of me to question my tardy, I thanked her before exiting the office quickly. It was lunch time now so I headed to the cafeteria. She had given me a map but it was easy to find without it, as it was in the direction all the students were headed.

It would have been normal for me to want to rush there, knowing Alice would be there, but I was actually nervous. There would be so many humans in there and right now, surrounded by just the 20 or so humans around, the emotions were screaming at me. All the cliches were there of course; _**LUST, ANGER, HUNGER**_ ,etc... but there were the deeper ones as well. _**HOPE, LOVE, HATRED, FEAR**_ , and every other feeling under the rainbow.

I stopped outside the cafeteria doors as a few students looked at me wide-eyed before walking in."Hi." I looked over to a small human female talking to me. I looked behind me then back at her. She had dark overly curly hair and eager eyes.

"Hello." I gave a customary head bow and she immediately blushed. I sucked in air as the scent of her blood intensified.

"I'm Jessica." She held her hand out and I really wished I knew how to get out of touching her. I took her hand but released it as fast as possible before she could notice my temperature.

"Jasper Whitlock." My papers had maintained my birth name for which I was very grateful. I had enough strangeness in my life without taking a new name as well. She giggled and the sound was actually very irritating. I frowned slightly as I didn't know what was funny about our interaction.

"Are you from the south?" Aw, she had picked up my accent in the few words I'd spoken. I didn't know if I should be amused or insulted by her reaction. Was my accent amusing or charming to her? I found that I didn't care enough about her opinion one way or another so I let it go.

"Texas." She nodded while smiling wide. She looked ready to speak more but I took advantage of her hesitation to give her a small wave goodbye before slipping into the cafeteria quickly. I had tried to prepare myself for the scent and emotions but it was like walking into a battering ram. My whole body froze as soon as I entered the room. Surprisingly the emotions hit me first and harder than the blood did. There was everything and more I had felt earlier magnified by the over 100 individuals now in the room with me. After I managed to process all of that I was hit with the blood. I had just hunted but I could actually feel my eyes darken ever so slightly in response to the scent that had engulfed me.

I took short slow breaths as I breathed in and out slowly. After a moment that made me want to leave the room as fast as possible, I heard it. As soon as I did my eyes flashed to the sound, searching eagerly for the source. It was Alice's laugh, I would know that sound anywhere, it sounded like windschimes. I only had to search for a couple moments before I saw her. There she was at the other end of the cafeteria sitting with her siblings. She was perched on the table sitting on her knees with her feet tucked off to the side of herself, as her siblings watched in bemusement. Edward was laughing hard at whatever she was saying. I easily could have focused on her voice, as it was the most noticeable sound in my world, but I couldn't get past the sight of her. She was wearing a short cream skirt with a light pink v-neck blouse and platform shoes that matched. She was talking while waving her hands and it was obvious she had the attention of everyone in the room. People were looking at her with _**CURIOSITY, AMUSEMENT, LUST**_. I growled internally and decided to mark what was mine as soon as possible. She didn't seem to be paying the humans much attention though, as she was talking adamantly with her siblings. She was clearly very happy and nothing else could make me happier than that.

I heard and felt Jessica step in after me but I ignored her as I channeled my sneaking skills to walk towards Alice. Her back was to me as I walked up. The other three were enraptured with either her or each-other and hadn't noticed me yet either. The four of them sat a bit of a distance from everyone else which made it easier to escape the crowd to get to Alice. Her back was still to me as she engaged Edward who was nodding at her. Rosalie and Emmett were occupied with one-another as she sat in his lap and he was making her laugh.

As soon as I was within a few inches of her I leaned in just as Edward spotted me. I spoke softly into her ear. "Good afternoon, darlin." I leaned back just as she quite literally jumped up onto the table and starred at me with the widest eyes and biggest smile. I smiled back as she, for once, looked down at me. I wanted to laugh at her standing unashamadely on top of the table as everyone in the room starred at her in shock.

"Jasper!" She screamed happily, with zero care for the audience we had in the moment. I wasn't sure how it happened or how I would descibe her movements but suddenly she was in my arms. She had... for lack of a better word... jumped into my arms and I remembered more how much I loved her. Her sunshine was the first thing I noticed about her and I loved to see it radiate from every part of her. Her arms squeezed my neck tightly as she laughed happily in my embrace. She pulled back and was about to say something, but I pulled her to me sharply, in no mood to speak right now. I kissed her deeply as her hands held my neck and kept my face close to hers. I hadn't seen her in a couple days and this had to take precedence over anything that could be said. She tightened her hold with both her legs and arms freeing up one of my hands to hold her face.

The kiss was deep but not inappropriate in any way. Not because we knew we had a very large audience but because we had simply missed each-other. I pulled back slightly and she rested her head to mine while smiling.

"Hello, baby." I whispered the words and her smile widened significantly. I chuckled at the _**JOY, AMAZEMENT,**_ and _**LOVE**_ pouring off her. I sent it all right back at her and she hugged me tightly in response before I let her down to the ground.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She laughed as I sat down next to Edward and pulled her to my lap.

"It was a last minute decision." I winked and she continued to jump up and down happily.

…...

I had Emmett with me in my first class and was a little disappointed knowing I wouldn't have a class with Alice as she was a grade lower than I was. It was Spanish which was annoying to say the least as I knew the language as well as I did English. The language was spoken a lot in the south for the armies so I learned it fast after becoming a vampire. Emmett proved to be highly amusing during the class, offering a hand raise to every question in which he purposely 'mispronounced' words to make them sound dirty or stupid. I laughed at each of his antics and I certainly wasn't the only one, though the teacher was less than amused. The class found him beyond funny and by the end of class he even stood to take a bow before leaving with a flourish. I shook my head and by the end of the day I was actually enjoying myself here.

That fact surprised me as I never would have thought I would actually enjoy this at all, it was just a means to an end. After class Alice found me quickly and tried to lead me to the silver car that I saw Edward at as he waited for us. I held her back while nodding toward my black motorcycle parked far off from every other vehicle. She looked at it in confusion.

I leaned into her ear and whispered seductively. "What sort of a gentleman would I be if I didn't offer you a ride home?" Not surprisingly her eyes lowered to the ground and I chuckled. I gave a nod to Edward, which he returned before getting into the drivers seat and taking off with the other two. I lead her wordlessly to my bike and without asking picked her up and placed her on the back. Admittedly the idea of her straddling my back in a skirt was quite distracting and I couldn't resist drinking in the sight slowly as my eyes followed up and down her form. When my eyes met hers she had pursed her lips in that cute expression that rendered me powerless. I leaned in and kissed her sweetly before hooking my bag onto the bike and hoping on the bike in front of her. I started it up and her arms found my waist quickly. _**NERVOUS, EXCITED, HAPPY, LOVED, ADORED.**_ I smiled as I drank in her emotions.

Quickly I pulled us out of the parking lot and into the streets. Her grasp didn't loosen but I was more than okay with that.

…...

As amazing as Thursday was, Friday was even better. It turned out Alice, Edward and I shared our first class, as surprising as that was. The best part was that it was gym, meaning I got to see Alice in short shorts. At first I was upset by this as other males could see her as well but with a few menacing stares, loud growls, possessive kisses, and maybe a few threats, the males backed off. Less than 24 hours of being a student here and I already had forged an image of 'not to be trifled with'. If that meant the hormonal teenage boys stopped trying to ogle what was mine, I was grateful.

The downside of high school was I was getting thirsty fast. Edward had picked up my concern about getting thirsty so quickly and put my mind at ease. He told me that after he had fed off human blood exclusively for a few years the same thing happened to him when he switched back. I appreciated his honesty in volunteering that information to me. He was a very reserved person but he couldn't disguise his _**SELF-LOATHING**_ as he confessed that to me. It wasn't something he'd had to do for me but he did just the same, despite the pain it caused him. In return I did something I didn't think I would ever do. I reached out to him.

I asked him if he wanted to accompany me for a hunt? He was beyond shocked though I think I was even more shocked than him by my own invitation. Had I really just done that? He agreed immediately and Emmett decided he didn't want to be 'left alone with the chicks' as Carlisle was at work. I laughed but agreed to let him come. We were all inside the house together when we told the ladies the news.

 _ **HAPPINESS, LOVE, ADMIRATION, HOPE, AMAZEMENT.**_ There were more emotions coming from Esme and Rosalie but Alice's were so loud I didn't focus on anyone else's. Her smile was so wide I thought it would split her face when we told them we would be going hunting together. It hadn't occurred to me that this could mean so much to her but knowing how close she was to them, Edward especially, it should have. She kissed me sweetly before shooing me away eagerly. I laughed before running off with them quickly.

I felt nervous about what we were going to do but that faded fast. Emmett wanted to play a game in which we chose an animal and had to compete to find the largest of said animal. Edward and I exchanged a glance before rolling our eyes, but agreeing just the same. Stupidly I agreed to Emmett's choice of bear as apparently he had a sixth sense for finding the best ones. He managed to catch a huge one almost immediately while it took both Edward and I awhile with both of ours being significantly smaller than his, mine the smallest. I wasn't to proud to say my ego took a hit from that and it didn't help that Emmett noticed all to well.

Edward didn't chastise me but he couldn't hide his relief that it wasn't him with the smallest catch. Emmett proceeded to strut through the forest as we shook our heads at his display. I was grateful I'd followed Edward's lead in not allowing an actual wager to be made with the contest. Apparently Emmett typically wanted his opponent to do something embarrassing in the event they lost to him, or so Edward warned.

We hunted deer after that and Emmett wanted to hold with the contest. I redeemed myself slightly with the second largest, Edward having the biggest, and Emmett taking the bronze. I hazed him for that but he shrugged it off saying 'who cares about vegetarians' before laughing at his own double meaning.

After we each fed from our two animals we headed back home. The outing wasn't as violating as I had thought it would be. Since we were competing we had hunted separately so I hadn't felt watched. That plus the ease the two showed me, made it so I really enjoyed spending time with them. Edward was similar to me in a way that made him easy to understand while Emmett and I were so opposite that it was refreshing to be around. We laughed and joked on the way back and were almost to the front door before I froze immediately. They looked at me in question as my eyes flickered through the woods, then the house a few times. Something was VERY WRONG. Without a word I went to the door quickly and walked inside, with both of them hot on my trail.

I froze immediately when my eyes took in the scene in front of me.

 _How did I get here? This moment? All my feelings in this one nanosecond shifted from just a couple moments before. I've seen and felt so much but I've never experienced emotions change so much in one little moment. How did I get here? I want my last moments back. Is this moment even real? How can it be when just a couple seconds earlier everything was as it should be? As I gazed across the room my eyes rested on the 6 other sets gazing back. Each set showed a different person underneath, and very different people at that. My eyes could only rest on one pair in particular though, regardless of the full room. The pair I usually wanted to look at... the pair I wanted to gaze at forever were both the the only thing I could think of and the furthest thing from my thoughts in this one moment. For once my eyes did not rest on her golden orbs. For once I didn't look at her. This one time someone else had my complete focus..._

 _MARIA..._

 **END NOTES:**

*** There was a lot of little things I wanted to put in this chapter but I didn't want to drag any of it out so I split the chapter into mini sections so I could touch on each scene that I had in my head. :-)

***Some family bonding and a little Jasper/Alice time in this chapter.

*** I'm aware that I left you all with quite the cliffhanger. Lol. I'm so EVIL! Just so you all know the more reviews, follows and favorites I get the faster I feel inspired to update... I'm just saying... ;-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Don't stop BELIEVING" by Journey- This song is a classic in every way. It's all about just what the title says. BELIEVING. The chorus goes. "Don't stop believing, just hold onto this feeling..." I love that line and this song immediately came to my head when I thought up the ideas for this chapter.

 **Please REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** Let me know your views and opinions


	17. Hurt

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 **REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW**

 _ **NOTES:**_

\- **Who's ready for the fun to start?**

 **\- I started another fanfiction entitled 'The Royal Imprint' it's a Bella/Edward story just FYI. This story is still my first focus though. :-)**

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

 ****- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)**

 **Chapter#17: HURT**

 **JPOV**

I stood in the doorway as reality mocked me. Emmett and Edward stood on either side of me but I could barely breathe let alone acknowledge them. Change is a strange thing, that is even stranger for a vampire. It's foreign, scary, unpredictable, but in the end unavoidable. I've always 'rolled with the punches' and that has served me well my entire life and afterlife. Change happens but the past always remains as echos, both good and bad.

I needed that right now, the past. The former me could get through this, I didn't know if the new me could. I was emotional now, I felt things, and I couldn't allow that around her. The last time I'd 'felt' around Maria I was almost destroyed, my very soul left in pieces for someone who wasn't capable of returning what I'd given.

 _ **COLD, CRUEL, METHODICAL**_. I channeled everything I had into making myself as distant as I could. This was the Jasper SHE had made and it was the only one she would see. I felt my very frame go rigid under my shifted personality. I hadn't realized how much even my posture had changed since meeting the Cullen's until I felt how different I stood now.

 _ **CURIOSITY, HAPPINESS, CONCERN, PRIDE, ANXIETY, LOVE, HATE, DISGUST...**_ There was a lot to read but none of it mattered right now. What mattered was how to get out of this. Many, Peter especially, consider me a master strategist capable of getting out of any situation but that wasn't completely true. I was a survivor, I did what I needed in order to get through the day alive. This was the problem at the moment, if I was a master at this, Maria was a God. She played the percentages and knew how and when to change, alter, abandon, and cheat the game.

All of my thoughts had taken about 5 seconds before I made any movement or responded in any way to the room. This wouldn't mean much if we were all human but as vampires my hesitation spoke volumes. I wanted to curse my own obviousness. I stepped forward, rigid but calm, as my eyes stayed on Maria. She was seated on the small couch alone. Her long dark hair hung loosely around her tall, slim frame as she starred back at me with her bright red eyes. I needed to read her emotions but was terrified to do it. She was so dark and I hated the idea of letting that into any part of me again. Her face gave nothing away, but then again, it never did. If she didn't want you to know what she was thinking, you would never be able to guess her mind.

Another couple seconds passed and finally my mind worked for me. I got over the impulse to stand frozen as I gazed at her cold expression. I was not a weakling nor was a afraid of her, at least not for my own sake. She was an obstacle that I would get past. I was a soldier on a mission and I would succeed. I glanced, ever so briefly at everyone, just to see where they were in the room. Carlisle and Esme sat on the longer couch, across from Maria. Rosalie and Alice stood behind them, close together. I avoided looking at Alice with everything I had and my heart ached from the violation. I had never needed her more in my entire life but that wasn't the case for her. I wanted to run to her and shield her from Maria but those actions would have the opposite effect. My hand actually twitched at the thought of getting to her but I held strong. The safest place for her wasn't in my arms, it was as far from me as possible...

The last set of eyes, as red as Maria's, was a male that was clearly a newborn. He was large, not quite as big as Emmett, but large enough. He also aired confidence but not so much as to come off arrogant. That was worrisome. Your best ally in a fight against a newborn was their inexperience and arrogance. A newborn with control was always a bad opponent as they had brains to back up the brawn. Mentally I scolded myself for my diet in this moment. I was at a disadvantage if I needed to fight him. He stood silently behind Maria, with his eyes fixed on the three of us in the doorway. As soon as he noticed my eyes rested on him he starred right back. _**DETERMINATION, JEALOUSY, FOCUS, CONFUSION.**_ It was clear that he knew who I was which put me at my second disadvantage. Third if you counted that he knew why he was here while I was at a complete loss.

I looked at him the longest of anyone else in the room but still not long before my eyes were back on my creator. I crossed my arms loosely in front of me as I leaned up against a wall as far from everyone as possible. The position was a mirror image to what I'd done the first time I was in this house. Was it really just a couple weeks ago? The guarded and distant movement felt so different to me now. Emmett and Edward were still standing by the door a small distance from me and exhibited matching amounts of _**CONFUSION,**_ and _**CURIOSITY.**_ I was aloof as I stood near them, keeping them as apart from me as I could without being obvious to the threats. It was almost odd to think of Maria as a threat before I thought anything else of her.

My feelings had changed over the decades with my first thoughts of her shifting dramatically as I overcame the spell she had over me. Initially there had been _**INTRIGUE,**_ then _**EXCITEMENT,**_ then _**LUST, LOVE, HOPE, LONGING, SADNESS, LOSS, ANGER, RESENTMENT,**_ and finally _ **NOTHING.**_ Each step in the regression of our relationship had been laced with _**DOUBT, SELF-LOATHING**_ , and _**MISERY**_ until I finally left and felt the bliss of _**NOTHING.**_ That might sound like a horrible thing but to someone like me, with the past I had, it was the best thing a lonely me could dare to hope for. The blissful escape of oblivion. That had changed when I met Alice, and I started to feel again.

The two brothers were obviously lost as I cast them a quick glance, if for no other reason than to help me restrain from looking at Alice. Emmett shot me a confused look before glancing at our 'visitors'. He shrugged it off, always the easy-going Cullen, then walked over to where Alice and Rosalie were. For a brief moment I was relieved Alice had him close to her for defense, then my relief was tainted as Emmett kissed Rosalie intimately before wrapping his arms around her from behind as he looked towards Maria and her newborn. I envied him as he held his mate for both her protection and his peace of mind. God how I wanted to hold Alice, to look into her eyes and make her smile with the briefest of words. Instead here I stood, alone, not even able to look in her direction for fear of endangering her.

Edward was still standing near me as I battled internally with want and need. I still held Maria's gaze but for a brief moment she looked towards the family and I took the chance to briefly glance to Alice's face, the first look I'd had in hours. She had stepped back from Rose a bit when Emmett approached them so she was now standing a bit alone. My jaw flinched at her being so much as a foot away from protection. She cocked her head at my tense expression before she smiled warmly and took a small step in my direction. _**PANIC.**_ It was all I felt and I needed to stop her fast.

* **Pretend to be Alice's mate*** I didn't elaborate nor did I explain my thoughts to Edward. I knew my mind was as cold as it was confusing but Edward gave a small nod anyway. He walked forward swiftly to intercept Alice, who had just raised her arms slightly, about 6 feet from us. God, she was close enough that I could smell her bright warmth and my jaw flexed further. I had felt these emotions second hand from other vampires who had mates but the intensity of my own connection was staggering. Even with everything in this moment, I still wanted her. Alice happily hugged her brother but watched me with a coy smile. I was glad no one could see her face as she looked at me with so much love, it was obvious what I meant to her.

She pulled back from their hug with an easy smile. She made the slightest shift to get to me and I stiffened. Edward didn't let her go though. Instead he spun her around slow and gently, so that she was facing the opposite direction of me. He held one of her hands as he walked behind her directly, keeping her and I from each-others view. I didn't know if I was grateful for him in that moment for stopping her or if I hated him for keeping her from me. Unfair I know as he was only doing what I'd asked, but I couldn't help it. He led her away, towards the family and she went, though with hesitance. She looked back to me but I used every ounce of will I had, not to meet her gaze. Anything I saw would make me want to take her back from him.

Edward led Alice to the couch where she sat next to her mom, and Edward sat on her other side, tucking her in close to his side. I felt disgusted by the display, despite the innocence behind it. To the Cullen's, he was being brotherly, but to the other two he was being possessive. Possessive of what was in actuality, MINE. I closed my eyes against the rage, however irrational, that was trying to seep out. I decided to avoid looking at both of them as much as possible, for all three of our sake's.

"This is the rest of our..." I cut off Carlisle's words before he could introduce me as a member of his 'family'. I didn't know what the Cullen's had already told her but I had to stop anything else from being revealed. Knowledge was power, and that was something I sure as hell wouldn't give her.

"Group. We were scouting the perimeter." Every Cullen looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language, just cementing the obvious fact that none of them had any idea of who she was.

"And that takes three?" Maria spoke for the first time and I flinched internally at the calming hum of her voice. I used to think her voice was so relaxing now it was anything but.

"What are you doing here?" I ignored her attempt to annoy and challenge me. I could barely recognize my own voice as the coldness poured out of every part of it. Was this really what I had been? She laughed before standing up and walking slowly towards me. Her slow speed could have been a sign of hesitance maybe even fear, had it come from anyone but her. She was slow because she was calm. She was always so very calm. The male behind her quickly walked around the couch to follow but she waved him off, not even bothering to look in his direction, as she gave him the brush off. Every step she took towards me was both relaxed and calculating, the embodiment of everything she was. She stopped in front of me, far to close for comfort, and I gazed back at her with zero emotion.

 _ **HURT, ANGER, CONFUSION, WORRY, REJECTION, PAIN.** _ Lots of emotions coming from the family but I knew better then to focus on any of it. Undoubtedly at least a couple of those were coming from Alice and I would not be able to keep up this cover if I saw any pain in her eyes. Maria had the smallest smile on her face and surprisingly enough it was even genuine. She was happy to see me, though for what purpose, who knew. Her smile grew ever so slightly as she took one step closer and rose up slightly so we were at eye level. My eyes followed as her gaze met mine. I knew our actions seemed intimate, sexual, or at the very least personal but that wasn't the truth. We were testing each-other. A game of chicken as it were. Who would blink first? It sure as hell wouldn't be me.

She knew I didn't want her here and I knew she was up to something. I also knew that she didn't know why I was here. She was encroaching on my space to see the slightest waver in my gaze or hesitation in my movements. I was allowing her closeness to appear aloof and disinterested.

After a few moments of this, she leaned back down the couple inches it took for her to be at her regular height. I fought the urge to smirk at her inner _**FRUSTRATION.**_ Her outside appearance revealed nothing of the sort but I knew better. She was very good at keeping her emotions in check, all but a few including anger, impatience, and frustration. When she felt those she was an open book.

She brought her hand up and I knew she was going to touch me and I had absolutely no idea how Alice would handle that. She was so kind, beautiful, and patience but everyone has their limits. I imagined a female touching me, a female that was formally intimate with me, would be her limit. Thankfully Alice didn't know this was Maria. I caught her hand harshly, while keeping my eyes on hers. I didn't know if my senses were on overload because of the situation or if it was the mating bond but I actually heard the smallest of a noise come from Alice. A whimper and a sigh. Me touching another, clearly cut her deeply. Maria smirked at me as I held her arm. I forcefully cast it aside.

"Do not touch me." _**FEAR**_. She smirked as I projected the emotion at her. She was such a twisted creature enjoying what I did to her. A wave of regret hit me as I again questioned how I ever allowed her control over me.

"You used to like my touch." She was trying to get a rise out of me but I was to focused on reading everyone else in the room to feel much of anything for her words. _**CONFUSION**_ was most prominent, but _**PAIN**_ was pouring from one person, and I knew exactly who it was. Maria was already hurting Alice and I wasn't going to allow that.

"Did I?" I honestly didn't know if I ever enjoyed our time together, at least in any way that I should have. We were together but there was no longing when we weren't. No desperation to stay with her above doing anything else. From the moment I met Alice, just seeing her smile and wave at me, I didn't want to be anywhere else. That was what I should have felt with someone I gave over a century to, but I never had. The smallest moments with Alice, before I even knew what we were, meant far more to me then the most intimate of moments I'd shared with Maria.

She frowned at me for a brief moment before looking around the room with an easy smile for all to see. She then looked back at me with the same fake smile before speaking. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friends, Jasper?"

I wanted to object to the idea of them being my friends. I wanted to deny anything she claimed. Perhaps it was childish but I wanted to give her nothing and argue anything she did have. I glanced to the room and all of their eyes were on me but I refused to let my gaze linger.

I stepped away from her so as to get away from her presence and any chance that she would try to touch me again. I stepped around her, while still maintaining eye-contact. What a strange dance our appearance must have been as we refused to look away from each-other for any but the briefest of moments. It had to be clear by my posture and words that there was no affection on my part, despite the display, though her show may convince many that there was something there.

I turned my back to her only slightly so that I was angled enough to see everyone in the room. "My new friends, as you call them..." My words were received harsher than I had hoped as I felt hurt from more then a couple Cullen's. Edward remained calm but that was probably because he knew exactly who this was as I'd let him into my head enough to inform him of that. He clearly got the message as the moment he had, his grasp of Alice increased, clearly he understood the danger she could be in. "...are the Cullen's, also known as the Olympic Coven." I turned back to her and she chuckled.

"Do they not have names?" I hated how clever she could be and how no detail seemed to escape her. She was putting together that they were special enough to me that I wanted to keep them as much of a mystery as I could, at least from her.

"Of course." I turned back to them and gestured in order to where they sat. "This is Carlisle the father and leader of the Coven, and his mate, Esme." I hesitated briefly before the next two names came out. How could I introduce Alice to her? As stupid as it was, this was my first chance to introduce Alice as my mate to someone. The idea of it pleased me to no end but there was no way I could do that with Maria. "Alice..." I hoped it wasn't obvious how quickly I was passing Alice in introductions. As I got to Edward I was faced with a similar dilemma, involving how to introduce him. I had already introduced Esme as Carlisle's mate. Should I do the same with Alice and Edward? The Cullen's would be beyond confused by the words but I had no doubt that they would go along with it.

I glanced at Alice, the first time I looked into her eyes since coming back here. _**PAIN, CONFUSION, SADNESS**_ hit me like a wrecking ball. I tilted my head slightly at her but didn't allow myself to smile. Her eyes were fixed back on mine and I wished I could explain everything and ask for her to forgive me. I couldn't though, her safety was more important than her comfort. Maria couldn't see me but I was hesitant just the same. The woman was a master at getting under your skin and finding your weaknesses. Unfortunately for us, a mate was a weakness and considering Maria's never ending infatuation with me, Alice would be a huge target to use against me. I felt like my mind processing speed had multiplied since I got past my frozen state, moments earlier. I had so many ideas, plans, theories going through my head right now that it was hard to stay on one track. I knew in the same moment I glanced at Alice, as I contemplated the title dilemma, I would not be able to get the words out to call Edward Alice's mate, so I didn't. "This is Edward, second in command of the coven." I looked back to Maria, turning my back on the coven and newborn. "And also Emmett and Rosalie."

She raised her brow at me, challenging me to introduce her. I wouldn't disappoint. How to introduce her though? I could think of many colorful, non-gentlemanly words but at the same time I didn't want her to think she had any power over me anymore, even with something as simple as negative feelings. "Everyone..." I turned around fully turning my back on her for the first time since seeing her. "... meet my creator, Maria." All of their eyes widened, except Edward's. Alice's were of course the largest as she looked first to her then me. I gave her a pained smile then averted my gaze anywhere that wasn't at her. I felt ashamed of myself and for to many reasons to count.

"Your creator? I'd say we are far more than creator/creation, Jasper." I ignored her as I resumed my stance pressed against a wall, with my arms crossed over my chest. I had stepped as far from her as I could while still staying within a companianable distance of everyone else.

"Not anymore." I spoke the words softly, but not in any effort to hide them, I knew everyone could hear me. I lowered my voice to show peace. I had no regrets over leaving her, and I wanted her to know that. _**PEACE,**_ I projected the emotion in the whole room as I spoke the words. Even the newborn would know I was happy with my choice. I didn't care for his opinions, as I hadn't even heard him speak yet. However showing I was much happier without her could place a small wedge in whatever bond he had with her.

"We're at least... friends." There was little to no subtlety in her use of the word 'friends' but I disregarded the implication.

I couldn't help but laugh at the word. Friends? Maria? That woman had never had a friend a day in her life. She had enemies to be crushed and pawns to be used. Nothing more and nothing less. The whole family looked at me with varying amounts of _**DOUBT, CONCERN, HESITANCE , **_and _**SADNESS.**_ "We were many things, Maria. Friends certainly wasn't one of them." _**ANGER**_ flashed in her and I gazed back calmly. There was no smugness in me, just _**CONTENTMENT.**_ Any anger she had for my words didn't matter, because there was only honesty in them. I wasn't trying to hurt her, just state the complete truth. We truly were never friends. We were never mates. My eyes flashed ever so briefly to Alice, then the rest of the Cullen's before going back to her. We were never a family. Whatever we were... in the end it didn't matter. Everything I didn't know I was missing before, I had now... so it didn't matter.

"Why are you here, Maria?" I was done with this conversation before it started and I just wanted to get to Alice.

"Peter and Charlotte." That caught me off guard.

"Excuse me?" There was only accusation in my tone but I couldn't hide it. I know Peter would never tell her where I was so what was she talking about?

"I caught Peter's... scent near Houston and kept an eye out for whatever he was planning." I listened intently as she spoke. I felt no dishonesty but not much truth either, meaning her words were probably only half the story. "Anyway..." She flitted away from me and went to the couch that she had been seating in earlier. She looked behind her to the newborn and without a word he stepped forward from behind the couch and stood beside her with a mirrored position to me, arms crossed over his chest. His gaze stayed on me but I ignored him. So she was trying to get a rise out of me by showing my... replacement. Interesting.

"After being around awhile, suddenly him and his little girl took off like bats out of hell, so I followed." She shrugged like it was nothing. What the hell did that mean? How long had she been around? It was normal for me to scout perimeters anyplace I stayed but I hadn't done it here. Between the wolfs and the Cullen's I hadn't found a need. I realized then that I had made a mistake and a big one. I gauged her facial expression and fully opened my empathy to her but got nothing but a small smile and a small amount of _**JOY**_ which I could tell was from my own discomfort.

"With your newborn pet of course." I gestured to the vampire without looking at him. The Cullen's stiffened. Apparently they hadn't realized what he was, though it seemed obvious to me.

"What did you call me?" Ah, it could talk.

I looked at him calmly. "A pet. That's all you are." In an instant he charged me and I caught him by the throat before slamming him to the ground and resting my knee in his throat. The entire time I kept my gaze on Maria. _**LUST**_ came off her potently and it was all directed at me. She always loved watching me in a fight. Suddenly I felt sick. Luckily my focus was pulled back to the newborn as he tried to squirm away. I had both his hands pinned above his head as I watched him calmly.

"Jasper." I looked up and all the Cullen's were standing now and were beyond panicked. It was Carlisle that had spoken and I understood his silent request. These vampires were peaceful and didn't want death. I hadn't consciously decided to kill him but I understood his concern. I was a murderer by nature and killing this creature would mean nothing to me. It did however mean something to them, and I couldn't lose sight of that. I glanced at Alice who gave me a small nod in encouragement. I got the message.

"Listen to me newborn." I looked to him as I spoke and he stopped struggling to meet my gaze. "You are in the presence of friends of mine. You do not know me nor do you know them, but please know this. If you disrespect me, them, their home or their lands I will not hesitate to end you. I have killed many of your kind and as you just learned, your strength, which is your only advantage, is lost on me."

He tried to squirm again and all I could feel was _**RAGE,**_ and _**BLOOD-LUST**_. The feeling hit me hard. I certainly hadn't missed this feeling. The feeling of being an uncontrollable monster. "NEWBORN!" His eyes met mine again and I channeled everything I could at him. _**FEAR, LETHARGY, CALMNESS,**_ and _**WEAKNESS.**_ His fight vanished instantly and I got up, abandoning him while shooting a dirty look at Maria. "Control your little toy or I will do it for you."

She stood up and walked to the opposite side of the room while chuckling to herself. I wasn't sure what made me do it, but I glanced at Edward and I saw the briefest flicker of panic before he met my gaze. In response I immediately looked to Maria. What did he hear? "Hmm, you are an expert on toys." She watched me for a measured moment then her eyes shifted and she looked ever so briefly but unmistakingly... at Alice. I sure as hell didn't miss that glance and when my eyes flickered back from Alice to Maria she smirked at me. She knew, and that was all I needed.

I crossed the room in a flash and caught the collar of her neck in my grasp as I shoved her into the wall with all the strength I had. I heard the wall crack beneath her but I didn't care. I didn't care if the building fell upon us. She was threatening Alice. Maybe not with words but her intention was clear. I felt something I never had before, _**TERROR.**_ This wasn't the echo I could read off someone else either, this was all mine. I couldn't loose Alice. I couldn't even process the idea of it. I would kill Maria, right now, no hesitation, no regret. I would rip her apart and burn this house down around her if I had to. I heard the newborn charge me but he didn't get far before he was stopped, most likely by Emmett and maybe Edward. Whoever was fighting him was struggling under his strength but I didn't care. Maria had threatened what was MINE, and she would pay for it.

"Mind your words..." _**RAGE, HURT, PAIN, REGRET, DETERMINATION, HATE.**_ My voice trembled with the adrenaline and emotion inside me but I couldn't control it. I had pulled her face to mine as I couldn't contain anything I was feeling. A sick part of me wanted to see the life drain from her face as I killed her, just to be assured that she was gone.

"Did I strike a cord?" She smirked and again her eyes flashed to Alice."

"DO NOT LOOK AT HER!" I growled each word slowly as I slammed her once more into the wall. Despite the low volume of my voice I knew she could hear the malice in every syllable.

"Or you'll what?" Again her eyes flickered to Alice.

I pulled her face even closer to me so that she couldn't look at her again. "I will kill you." I had never meant my words more then this moment as I said those four. Maria had once been everything I knew but Alice was my ABSOLUTE everything. She was all I knew, she was everything I didn't, and she was my whole future. I could kill this person, this stranger I had spent most of my existence with, for the woman I've only known for a few weeks. I could do it and I would. For Alice I could destroy the world and not blink. For her I would do anything.

I felt the lightest touch on my arm so I looked down and Alice was there. _**LOVE, HOPE, FEAR, DEVOTION.**_ Her face, always so honest and true, showed everything she felt. I felt as well as heard a whimpering sound escape my chest as a war raged inside. I wanted to kill Maria. Good, bad or ugly it didn't matter. I wanted her gone and with her, any threat to my mate. But that wasn't what Alice wanted, and my thoughts a moment ago weren't idol. For Alice I would do anything. I slowly and with total calculation, began to withdraw my grasp from Maria's throat.

Maria for a split second was an open book to me. _**SURPRISE, ANGER, POSSESSION, DETERMINATION, BETRAYAL.**_ If I had any care left for this miserable creature I would be floored by what I felt. Not because the emotions were a surprise but because of the sheer amount of emotions inside her. If every emotion I had felt from her for a solid decade had physical weight it wouldn't have approached the heaviness I'd just read off her. She looked like she wanted to say something but as she was about to, the newborn broke free. I turned and grabbed him before slamming him into the wall next to where Maria still stood, stunned. "Leave." I was looking at Maria as I held her newborn close to her. Each word was for her and she knew it. The unspoken request of '...and don't come back.' was obvious so I didn't say it. I wasn't sure I had the voice for it anyway.

My body was poised to kill and my whole being wanted it, needed it. I hadn't felt like this since I was a newborn craving blood and if I was being honest this was even more overwhelming. I wanted them dead but I couldn't have it. Maria flashed me a furrowed look before looking to her pet. Without any further word or reaction they left the house.

For a split second I felt like I was frozen in time. Had all that just happened? Had Maria been here? Had she threatened Alice? My eyes drifted to the broken wall I had pressed her into. It was real... it was all real. I felt Alice's hand softly intertwine with mine and without any thought, moment to pause and think, or anything else, I gripped her hand tightly and swung her forward so she was facing me. I gazed into her eyes but I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I felt, because I felt everything. I felt amazing. I felt angry. I felt empowered and I felt weak.

I reached up with my free hand, that was still shaking ever so slightly, and stroked her face. The touch was possessive and there was no hiding that. This was MY mate. This was my EVERYTHING, and nothing would take her from me. Her eyes stayed on mine and I saw her silent questions. I didn't have the words for her questions and I was afraid I would scare her if she knew them anyway.

As I cradled her face, with all the possession and desire I had in the moment I focused on what I could decipher in my own emotions. I took that, then weakened it to a manageable version. I brought my forehead to hers, closed my eyes then released what I was feeling, for her alone to experience. She gasped at the sensation but I didn't open my eyes to see her face. I needed this quiet moment.

Both my hands cradled her face now as we felt everything together. Her trembling hands went to my hair and she moved her face to my cheek, kissing me softly, before whispering gently. "I love you."

The fingers of my right hand proceeded to stroke her face as my eyes met hers again. I just watched her for a moment before my left hand reached down and took her hand in mine before leading her upstairs to her room. I didn't care that her family probably had a million questions. I didn't care that there were things that needed to be said. For the moment I didn't even care about the two potential threats that had just walked out the door. Right now all I cared about was Alice. I wanted her, but above that I needed her. I could only hope that the others would leave us be.

We got to her room and I immediately held her face in both my hands and held my forehead to hers. "I love you too." These were the first words I had been able to say to her since before I went on the hunting trip with her brothers, that now felt like a lifetime ago. I could have said it downstairs but I wanted this moment with her, alone. Her hands stroked my shoulders and I felt electrified by the touch. "I'm so sorry." She tried to shake her head, clearly to argue that I had nothing to apologize for, but I did. I held her head still, not letting her deny me this. I may not have been looking at her downstairs, which was one of the many things I needed to apologize for, but she was never outside my radar. I had felt when my words or actions had hurt her. I had felt her pain. I had felt her sadness. I never wanted to feel such things from her again, and knowing the source was me was agonizing and debilitating.

"Please forgive me." Her hands reached up and held my face as our foreheads stayed in contact.

"I love you and I'll always forgive you." I was glad she wasn't going to deny me the chance to apologize again. She knew it was important to me, she'd felt a small amount of the regret I felt, so she knew enough to accept my words.

I didn't wait a second longer to kiss her. Our lips met roughly but it didn't stop either of us. The kiss was hard and I didn't know if it was more possessive, loving, or lustful. I supposed in the moment they were all one and the same. There was no denying that I wanted her, and I wanted her desperately. Doubt and second guessing entered my mind but I pushed it back. I stopped thinking because the last time I'd done that it was the moment I was able to kiss her for the first time. I wanted that peace again. That moment was one of the best and most blissful moments in my existence and I wanted it back. So I stopped thinking. I just held her, stroked her and kissed her everywhere I could reach. The last minutes of life had been agonizing but everything was perfect now. I thought again about change...

 _Change is a strange thing, that is even stranger for a vampire. It's foreign, scary, unpredictable, but in the end unavoidable. I've always 'rolled with the punches' and that has served me well my entire life and afterlife. Change happens but the past always remains as echos, both good and bad._

There would always be echos of my past, but my present and certainly my future was Alice. She was perfect and I wasn't going to stop this moment for the world. I had everything I needed right here, and I was done hesitating.

 **END NOTES:**

***What did everyone think?

***This chapter was hard to write as I really wanted to get into what Jasper would feel in this situation.

***I LOVED writing the end of this chapter. Please let me know what you thought of it. :-)

 **Please REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** Let me know your views and opinions. :-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "HURT" by Johnny Cash- I had this chapter idea and name picked out as one of my earliest choices. The story had to catch up to the chapter I wanted to use it for but the name was set in stone from the beginning. This is such a beautiful version of the song. Nine Inch Nails did it first but their version is about drug use and is therefore not exactly touching. In Cash's version it's about mortality, regret, and of course the hurt along the way. If you haven't heard it, I highly recommend it. The way I interpret this song for Jasper is actually more positive then the original nature of the song. The opening lyrics...

"I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything

This part refers to when Jasper left. It hurt to leave someone he had once loved so much but he did it because he needed to feel again. He'd closed himself off emotionally out of survival from what Maria made him do for her. The pain and hurt was familiar to all the times in the beginning that she had made him do so much he can never forget. The chorus goes...

...And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt

Maria's army had never been anywhere near as successful as it was when Jasper was there. The 'Empire of Dirt' could refer to the legacy he left behind that means absolutely nothing to him. He will let her down because he will never go back, he will make her hurt. The ending goes...

If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way

Here's where my interpretation for this story is more upbeat then the original songs meaning. Jasper CAN start again. He has gone a MILLION miles away. He has FOUND himself and has found his WAY.

:-) Sorry for long song synopsis. I just absolutely loved this song for the story and it was picked out from before chapter 1. I wanted to give everyone insight as to why.

 **REVIEW please. :-)**


	18. Policy of TRUTH

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 _ **NOTES:**_

\- **Long time, no update. Sorry :-( Trust me I'm still actively working on this story but I've been obsessive about it being perfect. I felt I rushed the last couple chapters and didn't want to do that anymore.**

 **\- On top of being overly critical and suffering from some writers block I discovered I'm pregnant which is causing me to be absolutely EXHAUSTED 24hours a day. lol. Hopefully it will get better.**

 **\- Did anyone think Maria left a little to easily? Hmm. You will just have to read ;-) ;-) ;-)**

 **\- All fans owe some gratitude to PrescottDane who has shamelessly been rushing me for an update. Lol.**

 **\- ENJOY and PLEASE...** **REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW**

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

 ****- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)**

 **Chapter#18: The Policy of TRUTH**

 **JPOV**

After a few moments of letting everything sink in, my mind wouldn't let me block things out any further. I couldn't deny why Maria was here at all. I couldn't deny that she had purposely brought a newborn that she refrained from using. I couldn't deny that she had openly made herself vulnerable to a coven of 6...7 if you included myself. Maria was many things but reckless and impulsive were not two of them. She was up to something and I had absolutely no idea what it was. She had been watching us... or rather me, and specifically had someone else doing it. What was she up to? Why was she here? What did she want?

"Where did you go?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by Alice. We were still in her room and I was still holding her close for fear of losing her. Apparently my distraction was clear.

"I'm sorry darling." I stroked her face with both my hands and her own came up to cover them as she gazed into my eyes with her wide open ones. I saw her eyes glaze over and I knew she was trying to see my future.

"You're all murky." She scrunched up her face adorably and I was able to do something that a few minutes ago I would have thought was impossible. I laughed. My beautiful little pixy could always make things better.

"Murky?" I smirked at her as her eyes again glazed over and her frown deepened. She came out of it with an impatient sigh and nodded at me while watching me with irritation. I had to admit she looked pretty amazing when she was frustrated with me. I could only imagine what she would look like if she was really pissed at me. I continued to smile at her, purposely not planning a thing to drive her visions, and her, crazy. She narrowed her eyes at me and I laughed again. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm a little distracted."

"And...?" She watched me expectantly and I couldn't resist kissing her again. She kissed me back and even wrapped her arms around my neck while standing on her toes. She quickly pulled back to look at me though, and I knew that she wasn't going to be distracted. Her face was serious as she looked at me with expectation.

"I knew Maria for over a century, sweetheart." I took a deep breath as I glanced out her bedroom window. "Everything in me is telling me that something is very wrong."

I took that moment to start telling Alice about Maria, I kept it simple but it was still more than I usually wanted to think about. Alice didn't interrupt, she just listened as I told her all my thoughts, all of my worries. I told her about Maria's constant scheming and planning. I explained that Maria coming here at all, so out-numbered, without even seeming to have a goal, was suspicious. I explained about the decade before I left in which Maria would watch my every move, like she knew I wanted to leave, even before I did. I knew Alice wanted to continue the conversation but I wasn't ignorant to all the listening ears in the house. I was just about to take Alice back to my place when there was a knock on the bedroom door. It seemed odd as we could hear each-other without the pretense.

"Come in, Mom." Esme came in tentatively with the house phone in her hand. Her eyes went to me and she gave a soft but nervous smile.

Alice and I were sitting on her bed with Alice perched in my lap and her legs hanging off my right side. My hand was gently running patterns along her legs as we just sat peacefully together. She gave her mom a quick wave and I chuckled at her cuteness. How many people would wave like that? Only my Alice. Esme was still holding the phone and I read _**CONFUSION**_ and _**CURIOSITY**_ from her.

"Did you need something, Esme?" She walked closer and to my immense surprise she held the phone out to me. I took it while wearing what was sure to be a very puzzled expression.

"Jasper Whitlock speaking?" There was silence on the other end before I heard the smallest 'Hi'. I recognized that voice so I immediately straightened. "Jaime?" I'd given her this number in case of emergency, and I had a sinking feeling that's exactly what this was. Alice looked at me in question but I was to focused on the little girl calling me.

"Umm, it's me." Alice pulled herself off my lap and I let her, though my free hand held onto hers as I looked at nothing, with worry creeping into me over the conversation I was about to have. She sat across from me as I waited for Jaime to answer.

"Are you okay?" I was actually surprised by my own level of concern for her. Sure, she was an innocent human child, but I still wasn't typically attached to anyone. Alice being my one exception.

"Umm, I saw red-eyed vampires." I froze as did the other two in the room. Vampires? She saw more than one.

"I'm on my way." Quick as a flash I hung up and was out of the room. I raced down the stairs only to be held up by the largest family member blocking my path to the front door. "Move." I didn't mean to come off harshly but he was blocking my way. Emmett crossed his arms in challenge and I raised my eyebrows at him as I took a step closer. Suddenly Edward was between us with a hand out-stretched towards us both.

"Jasper, what's going on?" Carlisle spoke calmly and despite the level of respect I had for this family I wasn't up for a discussion. This was the exact reason I wasn't willing to join their family/coven. I wasn't prepared to have my every move questioned like I was a child. I wasn't prepared and I certainly wasn't willing.

"How should I know, all of you are stopping me from finding out." I glared at the leader and surprisingly enough he actually took a step back from me. I realized then, I was projecting the _**ANGER, FRUSTRATION,**_ and _**DETERMINATION**_ that I felt.

"Who's Jaime?" Alice spoke softly and I took a deep breath. Since it was her asking my frustration lessened slightly.

"A friend of mine. I gave her that number if she needed any help." Esme and Alice both smiled at that while the others seemed skeptical.

"That was the voice of a human child." Rosalie seemed to want to point out the obvious, for some unknown reason.

"And?" My patience was running thin and I wanted out of this house.

"Do you make it a habit of befriending children?" I almost didn't dignify her remark with a response but I saw an opportunity to shut her up.

"Children see the world for what it can be. They don't see prejudice, just potential." I made sure to look her dead in the eye as I spoke. "They don't speak out of cynicism, bitterness, judgment, or disdain. Perhaps you should give it a try." She made a move towards where I stood and I matched her steps. Just as I anticipated, Emmett moved to block me and I took advantage to get out the front door. I made it off the porch but this time it was Edward that blocked me, just as I made it to the trees. Damn his speed.

"Stand aside." We starred one-another down. I kept my promises and I had promised Jaime I would help her if she needed me. Right now they were keeping me from doing so.

"Let us help, Jasper." Carlisle and the rest met us outside but I didn't take my eyes off Edward, as I was waiting for a weakness in his stance.

"You can't. She lives on the reservation." I still hadn't lost the coldness Maria had invoked in me earlier and I hated it. I needed it, but I hated it.

"She's Quileute?" Esme stepped towards me and Carlisle stiffened. I looked to the matriarch of the family before I nodded. No matter how angry I was getting with this family in the moment, I would never harm her. The other four on the other hand, I would get through if needed.

"I can come." Alice was behind me as she spoke and I turned to her with rage very apparent on my face.

"No, you can not." She nodded as her argument to me. "This is not up for discussion,... Alice." I made a point to use her actual name to illustrate my seriousness and it was obvious she noticed. She visually flinched at the sound of it. I hated that reaction, but I wasn't going to be swayed. There were 6 wolves across that boundary line and the last interaction I had with them was about her, and it hadn't ended well. It would be a cold day in hell that I would volunteer to have her anywhere near their land.

She stepped up to me and grabbed my hand in both of hers before she stepped just the last couple inches needed to be close enough for our bodies to lightly touch. I stiffened from the contact. It was softening me and I didn't want that right now. She laid her head against my chest and I couldn't stop myself. She looked so small and precious to me right now. I brought my free hand to her hair, where I stroked her head lovingly, while I stroked her thumb with my own, through our intertwined hands. "Please?" She spoke it so softly and I didn't know what to do.

I gently but firmly brought her head back up, so she would look at me, as I took a deep breath. "You're asking to much, Darlin." She nodded and I knew she was trying to understand how hard something like this was for me. It was in my nature to handle things by myself and when it came to my mate, I was no different. It wasn't within my capabilities to approach threats as a team. I just wanted to keep her safe, regardless of anything else. I would walk through fire for her, but I could never let her get close to those same flames for me.

"I'm just asking that you let me be there for you, just like you would be there for me."

"It's not your battle."

"If it's yours, it's mine." I had no response to that. What could I possible say? That's not true? That's not how it works? It's not that simple. That last statement was true in the sense that the situation wasn't easy but the logic was. We were a mated pair and that meant something very real. There was a reason vampires went crazy if they lost their mate. When we find them we are whole for the first time and losing them makes us lose everything that ever made us. The good, the bad, the flaws, and the perfections. It would all vanish and only the monster underneath would remain. Suddenly I felt some pity for the vampire that made the first newborn army, a feeling of sympathy that I'd never had for him in the past.

I stroked Alice's hair and cheek for a few moments before I responded. I could feel the family's emotions all around me but my own were far louder then the buzz of theirs. What would happen if I ever lost Alice? How could I ever handle it? I had always thought I was okay alone... content, but I was wrong. From the very instant I saw Alice, even before that, in the moment I had only heard her voice, part of me knew. The mass majority of me was clueless but there was that one part that knew exactly what she was to me. Then she smiled and waved at me and that part grew.

I leaned my head down so that I could rest my forehead to hers. I could NEVER lose her. My soul had been twisted, mutilated, wronged, and toyed with but if I lost her there would be nothing left. No pleasure, no pain, no fear, no joy. I would be a statue that existed with no purpose. "Please..." I don't know if I had ever said that word to someone but I would speak it a thousand times if it would make a difference. "... don't ask this of me." It was the first time in my life that I wondered if I would be crying... were I able to.

"Don't ask me to always stand back, away from you, and never be by your side." I considered her words for the longest single moment of my life. Is that what I was asking of her? Was I virtually asking her to watch me always walk away from her, whenever there was danger? It was hard to accept but I knew she was right. I may only be used to fighting my own battles but they were ours now. I didn't like it but as much as she was everything to me, I knew she felt the same way about me. I may not understand why such a perfect creature loved me so much but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she did and could I risk her becoming the lost soul without me, that I was so worried about becoming, without her? I didn't have anything to say so instead I just kept my forehead against hers as I gave a small nod.

The feeling of giving into her was a new sensation. It was terrifying but it was amazing somehow, at the same time. I have always been alone in this way. Even with Maria, it was a relationship of leader and soldier. This was nothing like that. This was pure, simple, complex, and true. This was what it was like to be a mated pair, a team. She was my partner, someone who would always stand by me, just as I would always stand by her. That reality nearly knocked me down. I had already accepted her as my mate but now it was something more. One could argue that a mate connection wasn't voluntary, it was outside of your power. That couldn't be said of a partnership. You had to CHOOSE to let someone in like that, and I choose Alice. I may have quite literally FALLEN into loving her, no choice, no warning, just a free fall, but with every piece of my head, heart and battered soul I choose her. I would ALWAYS choose her.

…...

The family was more hesitant for her to go than I was. Not surprisingly, Esme objected the most. She wanted to come with but nobody would risk it. The wolves didn't have a leg to stand on with Alice coming but Esme would be a different story. I assured Esme that nothing would happen to Alice and I knew she believed me as _**HOPE, GRATITUDE, APPRECIATION**_ , and _**AFFECTION**_ rolled off of her. She hugged Alice before surprising me by hugging me as well. It was as awkward for me, as it usually was, since I wasn't what someone would call a touchy person, but I tolerated it for Esme. She was impossible not to care for. Carlisle was more stoic about everything than Esme, who wore her emotions on her sleeve, but his emotions gave away what his features didn't. She was most certainly his little girl and he was deeply worried about her.

Edward, as usual, was hard to read. He had a special bond with Alice, but it was a bond that was just theirs. It was hard to read from the outside, even to me. He hugged her and told her to be careful but I could tell by the way they watched one another that she read a secret meaning in his words that only they knew. Emmett, in his usual carefree manner expressed his jealousy that he couldn't come with and see the wolves territory himself. Alice acted smug about her 'privilege' and I wanted to roll my eyes at the sibling rivalry but it was far more natural to smile in the face of it.

The sisters had a simple goodbye in which I ignored Rosalie's death glares as she hugged Alice. If she was trying to threaten me, with a silent '...if anything happens to Alice...' look, she was wasting her time. I would die before I would even let it happen, so there was no reason to worry about the consequences of something that would never pass. As soon as the last good-bye was uttered Alice and I were gone as we ripped through the forest. I took the lead, as I knew where we were going but I kept Alice close to me the whole way.

We approached the reservation but I took the long way around, not wanting to officially cross the line until the last possible moment. We got as close as we could to Jaime's home from our side of the boundary, and so without any outward hesitation, I led her over the line. She followed the whole way without falling out of step with me. I hoped our relationship could always be so easy, where we understood what the other needed no matter what. I needed her to follow my lead and trust in me to keep her safe. I wasn't going to change who I was, anymore than I would want her to change to appease me. I was a protector by nature and she was my number one priority.

We were close to Jaime's home and the only trace I got of the wolves was faint. I realized another scent was just as faint, maybe even fainter. I came to an immediate stop and Alice stopped with me. I cast my gaze all over as I tried to find Jaime's scent. She wasn't at home and hadn't been recently. It was already twilight and it would soon be pitch black. Not a problem for our eyesight but a very big problem for a small human girl. "Do you know where she is?" Alice spoke quietly as I tried to pinpoint her most recent trail. She was clearly an active girl as there were traces everywhere. It was no wonder it was her, of all people, that ran into vampires in the area.

I was just about to shake my head no when I caught the scent. I nodded and we took off again, heading towards the tree line in the opposite direction of her home. We ran for only a few minutes when I caught the stench of the wolves, with Jaime's smell in the mix. Fantastic. There were only three wolves, at least for now, so that put me a bit at ease. The trail led off towards an alcove between the forest and the ocean bluff. I stopped as soon as I saw Jaime. She was standing alone with the main three, still in human form. Sam was talking with Jared, while Paul was kneeling next to his sister where he was clearly asking her questions, in which she was avoiding answering. She just kept shaking her head in the negative, and wouldn't look him in the face. _**FEAR, NERVOUSNESS, WORRY, HOPE.**_ She was a flood of emotions, but fear was dominate.

I stepped out of the tree line, as I knew we would be discovered quickly due to our proximity. Alice stayed back slightly from me but didn't let me get to far ahead. All of the wolves were facing away from me but Jaime saw me almost instantly.

"Jasper!" She ran around her, momentarily confused, brother to get to me. Before the wolves could respond she was right in front of me and was hugging my lower half. I hadn't really expected that, but it wasn't unpleasant. She didn't see me as a threat or a stranger, she saw me as a friend. It was empowering to be seen through such trusting eyes. I gave her a small smile before I looked up to the pack.

Sam and Jared both had a hold of Paul who I could almost see steam coming off of, as he struggled to get to his sister. They seemed to have a good hold of him so I kneeled down to check her. She had no injuries I could see but I wasn't completely convinced. My eyes raked over her whole body as quickly as I could, since I didn't want to scare her. "Are you hurt, Jaime?" She was starring back at me with a focused expression. She shook her head and I gave a small smile in response.

I glanced up and her brother looked very close to shifting. _**CALM.**_ I shot a potent wave at him and he noticeably quieted. The other two seemed shocked but relieved. Clearly he had been a struggle to hold, even in his human form. "Think of your sister, Paul." I heard Sam whisper that to Paul multiple times and I knew the words had an effect on him, even more than my influence had.

"Your eyes are gold now." My attention went back to Jaime. I smiled wider and nodded. "I told you they should be gold. Good vampires should always have gold eyes." I laughed at the innocent simplicity of her thought process. Nothing she said was untrue and I had to love the intelligence that only a child had. She turned red and I stiffened slightly at the increase of blood flow. "You look handsome with gold eyes. They're so pretty." She averted her gaze and I heard Alice let out her windchime of a laugh. I looked back to her with playfully narrowed eyes. She smiled back while fluttering her own golden orbs at me mockingly. Thank God Emmett hadn't come. I would never live that comment down.

Clearly Jaime had more then a casual liking of me. That should make things even more friendly between her brother and me. I could't shake the sarcastic thoughts. His little sisters first crush being on a vampire... and on a vampire that had already taken him out in a fight, for that matter. Well he should prepare now, his sister had an obvious soft spot for bad boys. That certainly wasn't my fault but it was defiantly his problem.

"Thank-you, sweetheart." I gave her a small head bow and she giggled slightly, in which Alice joined in. Jaime looked up to her and blushed further. I stood at this point, not wanting to be so close to all of her blood.

"Who's that?" Jaime whispered her question to me, not that we couldn't all hear her. Her eyes were on Alice, who was still standing slightly back from me, probably not wanting to scare Jaime, though it was obvious she didn't have much fear of vampires, even though she should.

"This is Alice Cullen, my mate." I introduced her to Jaime proudly. The first time I was able to introduce her properly to someone. "Alice, this is my friend, Jaime Lahote." Alice took a step forward and I heard Paul actually growl. OH, HELL NO. I turned to him with a look of pure death on my face. _**TERROR**_. He cringed away, but to his credit it was only slightly. His eyes flashed between the three of us but they lingered on Jaime. I knew she obviously meant the world to him but I wouldn't allow any threatening displays toward my mate, no matter how justified he might feel in his actions. "I suggest you control your temper, wolf. It hasn't served you well in our past interactions." My words were an obvious threat without speaking the words. I knew he could hear my silent promise. 'Growl at her again and I will end you.'

"You're so pretty." Jaime was speaking to Alice and Alice smiled widely at the compliment. I chuckled at the two of them. This time Jaime whispered to Alice, again all of us could hear, despite her efforts. "What's a mate?" Alice looked up to me before whispering back to Jaime while stroking her hair behind her ear. My eyes immediately flashed to Paul who had noticeably paled in the face of Alice touching his sister.

"It's similar to a husband or wife." Jaime nodded as Alice continued to keep up the pretense of them having a private conversation. "Vampires mate for life and Jasper is my mate, as I'm his." She looked up to me as she finished explaining and I held her gaze intimately, causing her to smile cutely, before looking back at Jaime.

…...

"Tell me what happened, Jaime." Now that introductions were over, I wanted to know what she saw. I already knew, without any information, that Maria was involved, but I needed to figure out how. Jaime went to speak, but her brother interrupted.

"We'll take care of this, leech." He shrugged off the other two and took a couple steps closer to us. In a flash I stood in front of Alice, who had just stood up. Jaime made no effort to move in any direction. She stayed where she had been, right next to Alice.

"Clearly you are doing that so well. As..." I took a big whiff of Jaime and noticed the very weak scent of other vampires on her. It was clear they hadn't been close enough to touch her, but they had certainly seen her, which was terrifying in itself. "... not 1 but 4 unknown human drinking vampires got near YOUR sister on YOUR land, that YOU are supposed to protect." It was a low blow but I couldn't resist. These boys may turn into wolves but that didn't hide their youth or inexperience. They had no idea what they were dealing with.

 _ **ANGER, HATRED, HURT, SHAME.**_ He felt it all but before he could speak, Sam did. "4?"

"That actually got close enough to see her,... yes. 4" All three of them looked to each-other with obvious worry.

"Do you think there's more than that?" The four I picked up on her were completely foreign to me, not Maria or her little friend.

"There's at least 6." I could tell they were curious about how I came to that number but I left my statement at that.

"Why?" Jared asked the question that was loaded with the potential to cause a huge problem between our two clans. They would blame me for this, maybe they were even right to. Alice grabbed my hand and I intertwined my fingers with hers.

I knew what they were asking by the one word question. Why would the vampires leave her alive like that? It was true that vampires would rarely harm a child but for them to have even gotten that close to her, it had to have been on purpose, so again the question was... why? "I only have guesses at this point."

…...

The group of us had already spoke in code as much as possible with Jaime here but it was clear we would need to speak more freely soon. Paul took Jaime home, much to her protest. She wanted me to go with, which amused me but pissed him off. He kept his feelings on the subject hidden though and simply talked her out of it, claiming he needed to talk to her alone.

As soon as those two left things grew awkward. Jared and Sam didn't speak nor did Alice or myself. Jared looked to her a few times but quickly averted his eyes as soon as he had. Good. Apparently he was understanding exactly how valuable a mate was to a vampire. Sam began to glance at her too and she looked uncomfortable. I hated to see her like that but I was hesitant to do anything about it. They had never seen me in any way other than controlled and aggressive. That eternal logical side of me wanted to keep it that way, but Alice needed me.

I pulled her to my chest and held her there tightly, sending waves of comfort and love at her. She wrapped her arms around my middle and I smiled internally, thinking of how small she was. I had no idea why I liked her size so much but it always made her seem so cute and precious. I stroked her hair and I could feel her smile against my chest, where her face was buried

"So, what do you know, leech." _**DISGUST, ANGER, COCERN, FEAR.**_ The emotions were obvious in Paul's voice without my ability, but regardless I got the double dose.

"More than you, mutt." I had turned to him as he came from around the bluff, arrogance in his every step. I shifted in front of Alice as he growled at me, human form or not, it was present. "Try it. I dare you." I wasn't afraid of these children and I was beyond tired of their pissing contest with me. I had already bested all of them in a fight, multiple ones in fact. He stopped a distance from me and I saw him shake slightly with a clenched jaw. His behavior was typical of his species so I shrugged it off internally.

What I didn't shrug off was when his eyes flashed to Alice and his eyes narrowed the slightest bit. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know where his thoughts had just gone. In the blink of an eye I was right in front of him with my hand on his throat. From my position I was still in front of Alice, protecting her from view while still being at an angle that I could keep a close eye on the other two wolves. "If you so much as even think what you just did again, our agreement up until this moment WILL be over." I pulled him close to me so I could look into his eyes and he could look into mine. I was cutting off his air slightly as I learned doing so stopped his ability to shift. "She is mine, and I will Kill you without a moments hesitation." I had given him far to many warnings up to this point but I knew he had a sister to take care of and that was the only thing keeping him alive now. "I spare you in this moment for your sisters sake alone." He nodded and I released him, before flashing back to Alice, who I again pulled to my chest but this time not in a comforting manner. This time it was a dominating one. As archaic and overly possessive and controlling as it was, I didn't care. Alice WAS mine and I was perfectly okay with showing that to them vividly.

Alice hugged me reassuringly and I rubbed her all over her arms, back, and anywhere else I could reach. I felt an irrational urge to mark her and touch her, making sure she was safe and everyone knew she was mine by her scent alone, which advertised it quite convincingly. It was strange how up until today I kept our physical relationship completely private but ever since I had to openly reject her, even briefly, my whole body ached to make it up to both her and myself. I didn't care who saw us now. Hell, I wanted them to see. I wanted them to know.

"What do you know about this, Jasper?" Sam spoke calmly, though there was hesitation before he spoke my name.

"I don't know the four that were here." I looked to Alice and she shook her head in confirmation that she didn't either. Carlisle had spoken of many vampires that the family knew and I doubted many were vegetarians so it stood to reason that they could have been friends of the Cullen's, which would explain them not harming Jaime. "Alice doesn't recognize their scent either." The wolves glanced at Alice before looking back at me quickly. I saw Alice's eyes glaze over and I knew she was trying to see the future. I put her behind me as she did, so I could speak to the pack.

"However I believe I have an idea of why they were here." Sam nodded for me to continue so I did. "My maker and I had a falling out a couple decades ago and she showed up earlier today." Sam seemed quite confused as did the other two. "Let's just say it didn't end well." I unwittingly glanced at Alice and Sam noticed.

"She wasn't happy about you... mating?" I was surprised to feel _**SYMPATHY**_ from the alpha and gathered he had some similar experiences. The way he said 'mating' wasn't with disgust but more hesitation like he wanted to use a different word in it's place. The other two looked worried by Sam's bold statement but there was no threat or disrespect from him so I would answer.

"No, she certainly wasn't. There has been unrest between us since I left her and it appears to have gotten worse. I was irreplaceable to her for my role in her army."

"Army?" All three spoke together and there was clear fear in their voice. I didn't want to get into the details of that.

"Irrelevant for the time being. It's in the past." They didn't argue but I knew they wanted to. Alice held onto my arm and I realized how tense I was, which clearly she'd noticed before me. I was growing increasingly uncomfortable by my presence here. Neither Maria nor whomever these vampires were, were anywhere near here now. What was she up to?

"Are they a threat to us?" What an odd question. I didn't understand why Sam would ask such a pointless thing but I would answer just the same.

"If you get any of them in your sights, I suggest you don't hesitate." With that I took Alice by the hand and ran off. I wasn't sure where I was heading but maybe I could catch a fresh trail.

…...

We ran for awhile, doing a patrol of the entirety of forks and the borderline of the reservation. There was nothing fresh. What had she ordered them to do? It was like they ran all over the place for absolutely no reason other than to put their scent everywhere. "Do you pick up her scent anywhere?" Alice and I had stopped near the school in the outcrop of trees right outside of it. I shook my head as I tried in vain to pick up her scent. It was mysteriously gone, not faint, but gone. I knew Maria's scent better than I knew anyone's, except Alice of course, yet it was nowhere. "Huh." I looked to her and her surprised expression, just in time to see her eyes glaze over. I moved to stand in front of her as she used her abilities. Her brow furrowed and I wished I understood what it was like to see so much yet so little. Countless possibilities in a single decision.

"What do you see, darlin?" She gave a slight shake of the head, to show she'd heard me, but I gathered she was still cycling through the images. All of the sudden she gasped and her eyes flew open. I was immediately worried by the look in her eyes. _**FEAR.**_

"You need to call Peter." With that she grabbed my hand and we ran back towards the Cullen home.

My stomach dropped and I had a sickening suspicion that whatever she saw we weren't going to be able to stop it. It hit me then that this was the reason why the scents were everywhere. It was a diversion. Maria had always hated Peter, even from the start. She saw a change in me when he was around. I was no longer JUST HERS, I had a relationship outside of her and it made her uneasy. She had only tolerated him because of me, and when I left she blamed him entirely. What had Alice seen? Peter knew Maria enough to avoid her well. He was very much afraid of her and Charlotte felt the same way. They both avoided her well due to her conniving and dangerous ways.

We were close to their home when I stopped Alice. I surprised her when I pulled her to a stop and she ended up crushing to my chest and I chuckled when I caught her. I couldn't help it. Alice could always make me smile, even for the briefest respite. "Tell me what you saw." There was no menace or authority in my voice, just concern. She looked up at me and seemed to really search for the right words. "Don't edit anything, just tell me." She nodded before she began to speak.

"I tried to read her future but I saw absolutely nothing." I frowned at that. I knew Alice got better visions the better she knew someone but I would think she would be able to see at least a small possibility from Maria. "Then I tried to read her companion and my visions went black."

"Black?" She nodded before glancing in the direction of the house before looking back at me.

"I think my brother can help. He can read what I saw and maybe help me figure it out, but I have a theory." I nodded, encouraging her to continue. "I think he's gifted." I thought that through for a moment and I began to put pieces together from earlier. I had mostly been avoiding Edward due to him pretending to be Alice's mate but when I looked back on his behavior he seemed puzzled. Had he not been able to read them? I knew he'd at least gotten one flash from Maria, right before her veiled threat on Alice, but that was it.

"He's a shield of some sort." She looked confused. "A shield is someone who's gift is to block, dodge, or otherwise interfere with another gift.

"That would explain it. Edward automatically reads anyone new, as a precaution but he seemed really lost with them." She rubbed her hands up and down my arms as I still stood in front of her. The action was subconscious and I loved that her natural instinct was to touch me. "Were you able to read them?"

"Him, yes. Maria has always been skilled at keeping her emotions in check. I got pieces though and a lot at the end, I don't think he was blocking my gift. Did you read their future while they were there?"

"When they first got there I read our future and saw nothing bad so I didn't press any harder." That brought me back to her statement about Peter. She seemed to understand where my thoughts had gone. "The newborn's gift only seems to be protecting her directly. I think the reason his future was black as opposed to hers being blank was because his gift keeps him erratic, without any effort. No future?" She seemed puzzled by her theory and I silently disagreed with her assessment. My theory was that the reason his future was black was because it didn't exist without her, at least for the time being. I saw how he was with her. That was once me. It wasn't love, it was dependence.

Maria was good at making those few of her newborns dependent on her. He was loyal to her to a degree that made it so he didn't fully exist without her. That relationship added in with his being a newborn, who's futures had to be sketchy to begin with, would make his future a large question mark.

"Let's get back." I pulled her towards home as she continued to scan the future, and I carefully guided her through the trees. We stopped outside the house, where the family was waiting. There was going to be a lot to discuss. I didn't know what Maria was up to but I knew without a doubt that she was far from gone.

 **END NOTES:**

***What did everyone think?

***Again I'm so sorry for slow update. As this story is coming to a close I want it to be perfect so I judge all of it so much.

***I really wanted to reveal a lot more in this chapter but at the same time the characters don't really know what's going on yet so I didn't.

***Any theories on what Maria is up to? :-)

 **Please REVIEW, Follow, Favorite.** Let me know your views and opinions. :-)

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Policy of TRUTH" by Depeche Mode- This chapter had no name until the last sentence was written. Then I was trying to think of a song about deception and consequences and this one came to mind. Simply put this song speaks of one major thing, revelation. Whatever you reveal of yourself, you have to live with that, so decide in the 'policy of truth' what your willing to show of yourself. This is my favorite Depeche Mode song of all time. Give it a listen if you haven't heard it. It's a classic 80's sounding song but I love it. :-)


	19. Something WICKED this way comes

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

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 _ **NOTES:**_

- **Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry,... Did I mention I'm sorry yet?**

 **\- Anyway I'm SO SORRY for late update. I haven't been able to write nearly as much as I want.**

 **-SUPER SUPER long chapter to help get past the delayed update.**

 **\- Chapter name... 'Something WICKED this way comes'- A great title for obvious reasons and no this is not the 'Double Trouble' song from Harry Potter/MacBeth. (I do like that song/story though). Read bottom for song synopsis, but dont read end notes till after chapter or prepare for spoilers.**

 **\- You all may or may not have noticed that the rating on this story has officially changed from T to M. The reasoning will become clear as you read on. (I put in a warning in case anyone doesn't want to read more graphic scenes).**

 **-ENJOY and PLEASE leave me REVIEWS. :-)**

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

 ****- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)**

 **Chapter#19: Something WICKED this was comes**

 **JPOV**

There was a great deal of silence in the Cullen home after I relayed everything. I told them about Maria's past... my past. I attempted to explain the rather unique interactions they all witnessed, between my creator and myself, as I could tell it left all of them very confused. Alice and I also went over what had happened on the reservation, not that there was much to tell. The last thing we discussed was Alice's visions. Edward was helping her sort through it but he didn't seem to have much more insight then she did.

"If it was you, what would you be doing?" Esme's question would normally be a good one but the truth was, it was impossible to get fully in Maria's mindset.

"You mean, what would I do if I was still her companion? What would she want to do?" They all looked at each-other before nodding at me. I shrugged. "Over the decades, there have been a few vampires that escaped her or were taken by the Volturi against her wishes..." I trailed off as I tried to think of any of them that particularly upset Maria, but nothing came to mind. "... Maria has never cared about any member of her army enough to go after them, let alone take on another coven to get them back."

"Perhaps you mean more to her than just any soldier." Rosalie spoke in disinterest and my only response was to again, shrug. If only they knew exactly how true that was, but it wasn't in the way Rosalie meant.

"How did it end... between you two... exactly?" Edward asked this and I could feel **_REMORSE_** from him but **_DETERMINATION_** as well. He didn't want to ask but he felt it was important.

"Not the way you might think." I didn't mind them being curious but I honestly felt they were reading more into my past then was ever there. "Are you all aware of how most covens work?" They seemed a bit confused so I took that as a no. "Most covens aren't a family unit like yours. There is some loyalty of course, but it's based on familiarity and power, not love or devotion. Outside of a mated pair of course." I glanced at Alice and she smiled at me in response.

"She was your mate right?" Rosalie interrupted while keeping her disinterested tone, but I could feel her typical **_MALICE, HATRED ,_**and **_JUDGEMENT._**

"She was NEVER my mate!" I spoke coldly but clearly. I would not allow Rose to belittle what I had found with Alice.

"Just someone you slept with for over 100 years..." Would it greatly upset my friendship with this coven if I killed one member? Edward chuckled but disguised it as a cough.

"There was little sleeping involved." Emmett laughed at that, showing he had misunderstood my meaning, so I made sure to clarify. "I never slept with Maria, that would have required me trusting her, which I never fully did." Let them take what they wanted from this statement, as they most likely had already figured out that I'd slept with Alice, making myself completely vulnerable to her.

"You know what I mean." I did indeed but I sure as hell wasn't going to be discussing sex. It was irrelevant anyway.

"Rose, for once in your life... just shut up." My eyes went to Alice as she spoke and mine weren't the only ones. The whole family starred at her through **_SHOCK._ ** "We're all perfectly aware of the fact that you hate my mate, and it's also clear that those feelings are reciprocated due to your attitude." Alice's words were firm but I felt how much **_HURT_** was behind them. I immediately went to her and engulfed her in my arms. She stayed rigid for a short moment before she was able to relax slightly. Her sadness was apparent in her body language alone making me shoot her sister a death glare. "Jasper has not hidden his past with Maria from me and in fact he's told me anything I asked of him. Believe it or not I don't want to hear about his sexual past because it means nothing to me. I know in my heart he loves me and only me and that's all I need." She looked up at me and I smiled kindly, before she looked back to her speechless sister. It was obvious that Alice didn't usually stand up to Rose. "If your venom towards him is supposed to be for my sake, its beyond not necessary and if it's for you... get over yourself. Not everything is about, against, for, or in spite of the all mighty Rosalie."

I'd never been prouder of Alice then I was right now. Not because she stood up for me, but because she stood up for herself. As I looked around the room, even Emmett, who I expected to argue on his mate's behalf, was speechless. Even he seemed to recognize that there was no lie in Alice's words.

Family or not, it was understood that no one had the right to interfere when it came to mating. This was why one of our absolute laws was that if someone killed our mate we could kill them and anyone in our way, including their coven. This was how newborn armies were initially allowed. One member of the Volturi had lost his mate centuries ago and to this day felt the effects of the loss. Because of this, vampires believed the Volturi sympathetic to the plight of losing one's soul-mate. In truth this was just their front to find their gifted soldiers, but few knew that.

Silence followed Alice's little rant so I took the opportunity to get us back on topic. "Before we got off topic... to answer your question about how we parted. It was as simple as I told her I was done. Done with the army, done with her war, done with fighting, done with newborns, done with eliminations,... and done with her."

"How did she take that... if you don't mind my asking?" Esme was **_NERVOUS_** due to her question so I answered it as easily as I could.

"Her dominate emotions were anger and annoyance, largely directed at Peter and Charlotte. She believed and probably still does, that if it hadn't been for them I would still be with her." I thought about it for a moment and wondered with a small amount of self loathing if she was right in that assumption. "Who's to say she wasn't right in the assumption."

Alice rubbed my arm kindly but I didn't want pity for my bad choices, I just wanted to get past them. "Why?" I shot Emmett a glare as this line of questioning was far to personal.

"Try leaving your creator, and all you have ever known for over a century, then you might understand. Until then, there's no point in trying to explain it to you." My words in combination with my tone left no question that the topic was closed. Surprisingly Emmett's eyes drifted to Edward who shot him a glare similar to my own. I didn't need to read minds to catch the similarities Emmett was placing between me leaving Maria, and Edward leaving Carlisle. None of the rest had probably even thought of leaving the Patriarch of the family but Edward had.

It was maybe normal for all of them to question why he had done it, even with his explanations, but I didn't. I could more than understand why he did what he did. It was true that in some ways our reasons were exact opposites...

-I wanted to escape my gifts, he wanted to use his.

-I wanted to be with people that cared for me, he wanted to be completely alone.

-I wanted to escape blood shed, he wanted to embrace it.

-I wanted to deny the monster I'd been turned into, he wanted to be that monster for the first time.

-I still very much wanted to remain guarded and alone in my inner fight while he accepted his mistakes and wanted to be with his family for good.

but in other ways our reasons were identical...

-We both wanted a change

-We both felt we could only get peace alone, as in the end I left Peter and Charlotte as well.

-We both fought our very nature to make a change that few of our race could ever conceive doing.

-We both acted out of a desire to do better, to be better.

All of these were reasons the rest of the Cullen's may never fully understand... even Alice, but I knew they loved and respected Edward enough to accept his past and that was one more thing he and I had in common. I had that same acceptance from Alice that he had from them all and for that I would forever be grateful.

…...

Sometime later after none of us had any un-shared ideas of what Maria was planning, I excused Alice and myself. I had decided to take her to my place as I wanted privacy. I liked her family but I just wanted time alone with her. Once we reached my room I called Peter and luckily he answered immediately. I explained about Maria's visit and if it was possible he seemed more worried then I was by it. He hadn't caught her scent at all while he was here and unlike me he had actually done patrols when he was here. That had me worried. I trained Peter on tracking myself and I knew he was good at it.

After I hung up with him I told Alice about Peter not being able to catch Maria's scent. "Maybe there's more to his shield then blocking extra gifts?" I agreed with her. He clearly interfered with Edwards ability and Alice's. I read him fairly easily though so I knew he couldn't block all powers.

"I'm no expert on analyzing gifts but if I could guess I'd say that maybe 'shield' is the wrong term for what he does." She was sitting on my bed with her arms wrapped around her knees as she looked at nothing in particular, with a furrowed expression. I sat behind her quietly and wrapped my arms around her shoulders tightly, slowly sliding my hands down her arms, straightening them out as I went. Once I reached her hands I intertwined my fingers with hers. She sighed and leaned back against me in contentment. I kissed her neck softly while I cradled my face into her neck. Her breath caught and I couldn't help the smirk I got at her reaction to me.

"What would you call it?" I was sure she knew I heard her voice quiver but I didn't want to embarrass her... at least right now... Perhaps later. I let the sexual tension drop as I pulled back slightly but kept my arms around her. I shrugged at her question, as I tried to think of a way to both understand and explain what this so called 'shield' could do. There were so many different abilities out there, most of which were defensive or passive so it was hard to tell exactly what they could do.

"Well he blocks telepathy, clairvoyance, and now it seems to be getting clearer that he can block physical senses as well." It seemed beyond unlikely for one gift to do so much but the evidence stated otherwise. Could he honestly do so much while also blocking for another vampire... vampires?

"What about the other vampires?" She looked back at me as she spoke and I waited for her to explain. "You caught the scent of four vampires on Jamie right? I thought about it for a moment before I nodded. There had been 4 scents on her yet I hadn't tracked any smell up to that point. "Well we know that there has to be at least 6 then right? Maria, the newborn, then these four. Maybe he's a shield for mind powers and another blocks other things?"

I turned her so that she was straddling my lap and I could watch her. "Two shields? One with a mental shield and another with a physical one?" It seemed improbable that Maria would stumble upon two shields with such opposite and valuable gifts, but at the same time I had found a coven of only 6 in which 2 were gifted with highly powerful abilities, that was also extremely unlikely odds in the grand scheme of things.

"Do you think that's a possibility?" **_WORRY, EXCITEMENT, HESITANCE, CURIOSITY._** I rubbed her arms comfortingly as I thought through everything. As a species we really didn't know much about extra abilities. Why did some of us have them and others didn't? Why did one vampire get defensive powers while another got offensive? Why could some not turn off their gift, such as Edward and myself, while others could? There were so many questions about this and it was making me crazy to think that this little mystery was preventing me figuring out Maria's plan.

"Anything's possible, darlin." My words alone sounded uplifting but my tone was anything but. If she had access to two distinctive defensive powers what could the other three do, if anything?

"Do you know any shields?" She was playing with my hair and as a result I was fighting to focus on her questions. I reached up to grab her hands, holding them in both of mine while I kissed each of her knuckles tenderly.

"None personally but I've heard of a couple." She nodded for me to continue so I did. "Aro, the leader of the Volturi, has a personal guard named Renata. Like him she has to touch her subject to shield them but her gift is a physical one. She makes it completely impossible to physically harm someone that she's using her shield on. Her gift causes the attacker to lose focus on their target to the point of actually completely halting their advance. I've never seen her or her power personally but she's supposedly quite powerful."

"But she has to touch to defend?" She seemed comforted by the thought.

"I suppose, but that doesn't count herself. It would be very difficult to try to stop her in any way as she will always win any physical assault simply by stopping yours." Alice scrunched up her nose in distaste and I kissed it while chuckling.

"Seems a bit over-powered." She was sulking and I laughed out-right.

"Says the girl who sees the future?" She smiled despite trying to hide it and I embraced her while we shared a small laugh. "Other than Renata I've heard of a few other shields but I'm not familiar with their names or what they do specifically." She nodded while looking out my window. I saw her eyes glaze over but she came out of her vision quickly with the same frustrated expression as before. "Still nothing to see?" She shrugged before looking back at me.

"I don't really know what to look for. I only have two vampires to try and read and I don't know them enough to really see much, even if they weren't blocking me."

The more I thought about this whole situation the more I was lost about what Maria was up to. Perhaps the what wasn't what I should focus on. Why was a far better conundrum. Why was she doing... whatever she was doing? Why was she here? Why was she spying? Why did she show with only one vampire for back-up? It all came down to why. She had said she came here out of curiosity of what Peter and Charlotte were up to when they left Texas suddenly. This meant that she had known they were there but left them alone. It also meant that the shields had most likely been helping her in Texas too.

The unknown four vampires made me uneasy for a few reasons. Not only did one have a physical shield that made the group virtually invisible but they had been near a human and had controlled their blood-lust. No newborn could have done that and those were the only vampires Maria had ever really had access to. I'd only been away from her for about twenty years and she certainly hadn't had any newborn with these gifts at that point so when did it happen? As time had progressed the southern armies had to be a lot more discreet then they used to be, which meant smaller numbers, less newborns. This meant less gifted ones as well so I just couldn't shake the idea that I was missing something very very important.

I didn't know how long we'd been sitting there, her in my lap, with me lost in my thoughts, but the next thing I knew she was kissing me softly on the lips, just once. Of course this immediately pulled me out of my thoughts. She pulled away before I could respond and lowered her gaze shyly. I smirked at her shyness before lifting her face back to me and kissing her back. There was no way I would ever let her kiss me and not kiss her back.

 **...**

 ******** **LEMON WARNING! NOT COMFORTABLE, JUST SKIP OVER.** ********

 **...**

Her arms went around me in that way I absolutely loved. Her forearms behind my head and her fingers in my hair. She tugged gently and without planning to I laid her down on the bed and shifted myself comfortably on top of her. I felt her smirk into our kiss and I knew she had planned for me to do that. Apparently she was learning how much power she had over me. "Is something funny darlin?" I whispered the words while giving her light kisses and she giggled but shook her head. Yeah... that's convincing. I internally rolled my eyes but smiled into the kiss with her.

When I had laid her down I had readjusted my lower half but she never did. Instead she just wrapped her legs around my waist and kept them there. As we kissed I felt her legs lower till they were rested over my upper thighs. I shook my head as she stroked her legs up and down my lower half. If I didn't know any better I would say my pixy was trying to seduce me. Just as that thought came into my head she pulled my lower body down on her more and I actually growled... loudly in response.

I pulled back from her but never got the chance to look at her as she immediately started kissing my neck. Christ, she was so soft as she did it. Every-time she gave me one of her soft touches or sweet kisses I wanted to give in to anything she wanted, and right now she was giving me both. As she trailed her kisses all over my neck I was also aware of her hands in my hair. My whole body was buzzing with her ministrations and her hands slowly moved to my neck as her lips moved up to my lips... so very slowly. God I wanted her so badly right now. As soon as her lips touched mine I couldn't restrain myself. I kissed her hard and deep. Both of my hands were rested on the bed on either side of her head, giving me a lot of leverage as I tilted my head to kiss her even deeper.

She moaned softly and it excited me more than I thought possible. Her soft hands continued to rub my neck and the growls continued in my throat. I had never thought my neck was so sensitive until I met Alice. Every touch she gave me there was electrifying and I wanted her to both never stop and stop entirely to give me back some level of control.

My body made the choice my head couldn't as I grabbed both of her hands with mine and quite literally slammed them into the bed above her head as the growls continued in my throat. Somewhere in the very, very back of my mind I was worried I was being a bit rough and intimidating but she didn't seem to mind in the least. She continued to kiss me while I restrained her hands. My kisses were hard but she somehow managed to keep hers as soft as she always did. God I loved that about her. Everything about her was complete perfection and I had no idea of how to handle it.

I slowed down my own kisses as I was suddenly eager to just worship her slowly. After a few minutes of soft kisses I released her hands and brought both my arms to the sides of her head so I could place more of my weight on her without crushing her. After a moment of her hands being free she brought them to my chest and rubbed me softly all over from my shoulders, chest, stomach, to just above my pants. I tried so incredibly hard not to focus on her hands each time they lowered but it was a pointless battle. My mind kept wondering if she would go lower. As she began to hum into my mouth I moaned and deepened our kissing again, not as hard as before but much more then I usually did.

Her hands rubbed me firmer and soon went under my shirt again, but this time I didn't hesitate when she did, I just continued to kiss her. Her breath quivered which slowed down her kisses and without stopping what I was doing I brought one of my hands to her jaw to keep her lips right where I wanted them. Her hands slowed but moved with confidence and my mind started to really process her soft strokes. She was gripping me and rubbing at the same time but as her hands moved up I knew my shirt was restricting her.

There's moments where you don't need to think and you don't really know how you got the courage, idea, patience, or guts to do something and this was one of those moments for me. I leaned off of her and quickly removed my shirt before collapsing right back where I had been on top of her, like I'd never left. Her breath was certainly ragged now and her hands were trembling as she stroked me. **_LUST, AMAZEMENT, EXCITEMENT, NERVOUSNESS, LOVE._** Her emotions were strong but my own were on exactly the same level making it impossible to be distracted by them. All I could do was feel and it was complete bliss. Her hands moved up to the sides of my face as we kissed and I collapsed more of my weight onto her, unable to get close enough.

Her legs, which had virtually stopped moving for a little while resumed their rubbing of my lower half, causing me to grind against her core deeply at just the right moment. I groaned loudly as she whimpered in response. Somewhere my head was telling me to pull back and check that she was okay with this but the rest of me was telling me that everything was exactly how it should be.

Again our kisses slowed and I took the opportunity to start kissing her neck with reverence. I placed open mouthed kisses on her neck repeatedly all down her right side before shifting, still slowly, to the left side, then moving up her throat. Her breathing got more labored with each kiss I gave, and I internally rejoiced in the power I had over my amazing mate. I moved up to her ear and continued with the soft kisses as her hands gripped my head tightly to hold me in place. I smirked as I continued with the kissing, even slowing them down and adding just the smallest amount of suction. Her body actually trembled and I moved back to her lips.

Her hands moved down to my shoulders then followed each of my arms. As her left hand found my right She added force so I allowed her to move my hand. With slow and calculating movement she lowered my hand to her chest where she placed it hesitantly. I froze and looked down to my hand, now rested over her left breast. My eyes stayed trained on her body for a moment before my eyes went up to meet hers. **_NERVOUS, EXCITED, LUSTFUL, WORRIED, REJECTED_.** I leaned in and gave her the longest, lightest, and most loving kiss I could muster in this moment. I could read between the lines enough to know that she was nervous I would refuse her advance in spite of her boldness. I knew that her doubt was my own doing as every time we had gotten even slightly intimate up until this point, I had stopped it. I did this for good reason though. I was worried I was taking advantage of her and that she wasn't ready for our relationship to advance further.

I pulled back from the kiss, which had started to relax her greatly, and immediately **_DOUBT_** came forth from her. I brought my forehead to hers and watched her scared eyes for a short moment, showing her all the love I could with my eyes alone. I wanted to reassure her with my words but I didn't want to break the spell we were under either. Instead I just watched her for a moment before my eyes went to where my hand was resting on her. I slowly moved my hand, which hadn't moved this whole time, from her breast and brought it down her torso slowly, until I got to her waist. As soon as I did my eyes went back to hers and she looked back at me in the same moment, clearly she had been watching my hand as well.

As I gazed at her and she looked back at me I moved my fingers along her waistline and stroked a few times before I slipped my hand under her shirt. Her breath caught and she looked down as my hand moved up her shirt slowly. I continued to watch her face as her eyes stayed trained on my movements. My hand moved up her body and her breathing increased with each inch. Just before I reached her breasts her eyes met mine. As soon as my hand touched her intimately and stroked her she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The moment they opened I gave her a quick kiss before moving to her ear and whispering softly. "I love you."

Her hands held my neck as she whimpered and whispered back even softer then I had, how much she loved me too. I kissed her temple before sitting up and pulling her up with me. **_CONFUSION._** Both her emotions and her face showed the emotion but I ignored both. I brought her arms to my neck, where she hung them loosely, while I kissed her softly on the side of her face repeatedly. As soon as I felt her body relax from what I was doing, I brought my hands to the hem of her shirt and started to bring it up her body. She whimpered softly but her emotions told me not to stop so I didn't. I kept my movements confident but slow, giving her every chance to stop me if she wanted to. As I reached above her rib-cage she moved her arms up over her head, giving me all the encouragement I needed to continue.

I looked into her eyes for a brief moment but didn't let my eyes linger as I didn't want her to doubt this moment. I leaned in to kiss her just once, before I lifted the shirt off of her. She wore nothing underneath it, giving me my first look at her flawless body. **_LOVE, TRUST, LUST, AWE, EXCITEMENT._** She was watching my body just as closely as I was watching hers before I wrapped my arms around her back tightly, bringing her body flesh against my own. Her hands went to my hair again as our eyes watched each-other. "You're so beautiful." I had to break our silence with that statement as it was the complete truth. She truly was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and the fact that she was mine, the fact that she had given her heart to me was such an incredible thing. She sniffled and smiled at me before I kissed her and she kissed me right back with the same level of eagerness.

I lowered her back down and we resumed what we had started. This time though our hands didn't linger in any one spot, and instead we rubbed each-other gently all over. As soon as my hands found her legs I couldn't stop rubbing them. She was wearing extra short dark denim jeans that had been making me absolutely insane ever since I'd seen them and now that her legs were wrapped around me I couldn't stop thinking about how she looked in them. Her legs pulled me in closer and I didn't fight the urge to grind myself down on her. She gasped but I swallowed it down as I continued to kiss her deeply.

I didn't leave the sexual gesture to just once this time though. I ground down again and again, slowly, and each time she moaned at the contact, I moaned with her. This felt amazing but at the same time far to restricted. I could feel her but only through our clothes and I was eager to get past the barriers. I wanted to feel her... not her clothing. Slowly but with determination I brought my right hand, that had been stroking her body intimately, to her lower half. Without stopping I moved my hand between her legs and began to rub her core.

She pulled on my neck tightly, bringing me even closer to her then I had been. I took the opportunity to kiss her hard, never halting my movements with my hand. She kissed me back with an urgency she'd never shown before. **_LUST, NEED, LOVE, BLISS, HESITANCE._** As I tried to decipher the meaning of her last emotion she made it clear all on her own. Her hands moved down to my waist where she hesitantly kept them over my belt. I didn't respond physically to her touch, as I was eager to see where she went with this. Instead I continued what I was doing with my own hand as I rubbed her with slow deep strokes while simultaneously kissing her neck softly. Her breathing stayed labored and her emotions continued to scream everything she was feeling.

After a few moments, I'd just about forgotten where her hands were, as I was deeply focused on what mine were doing. I stroked her deeper and she released a shuddering moan. Her hands began to shake over my belt buckle so I moved my hand over hers, gently rubbing them in comfort. I didn't want her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with, no matter how simple it may seem. I continued to hold myself over her, never stopping my kisses as I ever so slowly pulled her hands from my pants and brought them up to me. I pulled away from her neck enough to gaze into her eyes and kiss each of her hands gently. She smiled widely at me through her **_NERVOUSNESS_** and I smiled back. I laid her hands out at her side gently before I moved my hand back in between her legs. I made sure to go very slowly, wanting her to have every chance to stop me if she had determined this was enough. She didn't though and instead wound her hands around my neck in that soft way she always did. God how I loved her soft touches.

After my hand made it to her core I froze for the shortest moment before started to rub her again. How far should I go? How far did she want me to go? I already knew exactly how far I wanted but I needed her to be ready. My fingers made it to her buttons which I quickly undid before lowering her zipper as well. She stopped breathing and I moved my hand up to her face, cradling her so she couldn't look away as I leaned up to look in her eyes.

She looked back a me and I smiled gently. "Are you okay, darlin?" She smiled cutely while nodding eagerly.

I leaned down to kiss her head softly, before resting mine to it. My hand slowly moved back down and as I rested my hand over her shorts our eyes met and before I could speak the words, she nodded, giving permission to my silent question. With more nerves then I'd ever had before, I slowly began sliding her shorts off her body. I was gentle and took my time. I felt no need to rush a single moment I had with her. As soon as the shorts were gone my hand was back at the juncture between her legs. I groaned at everything I felt at the same moment she whimpered in pleasure. She felt absolutely amazing and I wondered how I had held off this long from being with her like this.

Her hands, even more shakily then before, reached my belt again and I looked down to watch as she started to try and undo my belt. Despite the concern I haf for how nervous she was, my mind couldn't ignore what she was doing. My darlin pixy, my sunshine, MY mate was currently trying to undress me. Her small hands shook uselessly as she kept slipping from my belt buckle. I removed my hand from her core to stop her hands. **_WORRY, NERVOUSNESS, EMBARASSMENT_** came off her and I rubbed her hands sweetly but made no motion to move them. Instead I guided her hand to the buckle where I helped her undo it. It came undone easily and I moved her hand to my button and zipper, getting both undone just as quickly. After that I placed both of my arms beside her head and rested my hands in her hair where I gave continuous strokes, slowly causing a small purr to come from her.

For a long while her hands rested weakly over my unbuttoned pants, but made no further movement. My mind was in a whirlwind as I wondered what was going through her head. Did she want to stop? Was she just nervous? I moved my hand back down to hers where I rubbed slowly. She looked at me with sad eyes and I gazed back. "Did you want to stop darlin?" I wasn't going to lie, my body was in agony at the possibility of stopping right now but I would if it was what she needed. She shook her head aggressively in response before moving her hand into my pants softly.

It took all my control not to utter some truly ungentlemanly words at the sensations she caused in me. She gave me small, innocent strokes, clearly unsure of what to do but I felt no need to guide her. I liked what she was doing... a lot and I wanted her to touch me exactly how she wanted to. Eventually my body ran out of the small shred of patience I'd been holding onto since I met her. My whole body had a determination now not to keep hesitating, not to keep questioning what Alice was ready for, or what I should allow. I just wanted us to be us, no doubts and no second thoughts. Slowly I removed my pants all on my own, as I knew waiting for Alice to take the initiative would have resulted in my body imploding. Once we were both only in our underwear I met her core with my own and let loose a predatory growl at the warmth that seeped from her to me. Vampires were normally so hard and cold but like this... she was warm, soft and perfect.

I was so lost in the sensations that I couldn't even be concerned over the animalistic sounds I was directing her way. What little bit of my head that was still capable of rational thought took comfort in how she was making soft sounds of contentment each time our bodies touched. Her hands stroked my body softly, doing absolutely nothing to calm me down. I loved her soft innocence with every part of me, especially my inner darkness, and I longed to claim it as mine once and for all.

My lips moved down her body, taking my time with each new piece of skin I explored. I grazed every inch of her neck with both my lips and teeth, causing her to moan at each dominating nip I took. I moved down to her collar bone next and sucked with each kiss I laid on her and she began to tremble quite noticeably. I couldn't hold in the smile I had as I touched her skin and I continued on even lower to the swell of her breasts. At this point I heard her breathing stop entirely and I wasn't to ashamed to admit my pride took quite the ego boost from the reactions she was giving me. After I kissed, nibbled, grazed, sucked and nuzzled every inch of her torso I moved up to her face. Her breathing had resumed and her eyes locked with mine as my mouth crushed to hers. The noises she'd been making during my exploration of her body had me beyond control at this point. I wanted her but far above that I needed her, desperately. **_LUST, NEED, LOVE, DESIRE, AWE, POSSESSIVE_.** I let her feel a small fraction of what I felt and her gasps got louder as her hands held my face to hers in tight desperation.

I rid both of us of our last garment of clothing without any response from her. There was so much **_LUST, NEED,_** and **_LOVE_** coming from her now that I knew without a doubt she wanted this as much as I did. My emotions weren't influencing hers in any way, they were just a mirror of what she already felt for me. My kisses slowed as I kissed every inch of her face and neck, wanting to worship her even more than I wanted to claim her. Vampires, especially males, are very dominating, possessive, and protective of their mates, and I knew I would be no exception to this fact. Truthfully though I was just as much hers now as she was mine. I could never leave, hurt, ignore, lie, or cheat her in any way. I would do absolutely anything she wanted or needed without hesitation. I was truly HERS and all I wanted was to prove that to her. To be worthy of her.

As so much went through me, my mind didn't fully process what I was doing until I was already doing it. I had grabbed her legs and wrapped them around my body tightly as I leaned my body against hers. As soon as our bare skin touched one another she cried out in pleasure and I was spurred on further. I leaned back to watch her, wanting to take in her whole body as I made love to her. Her nervous eyes met mine and even if I wasn't an empath I would be able to see how much she loved me. Her eyes were always so honest and so bright. I couldn't take my eyes off them as I lined myself up with her entrance. She was so beautiful and I wanted to remember this moment for the rest of my eternity.

With an almost religious reverence I slowly began to enter her. Her body tensed and her eyes closed at the intrusion. I opened up my empathy to her completely, wanting to know everything she felt. **_LOVE_** was forefront to everything else and I smiled as I watched her. There was **_ANXIETY_** and a small but very real amount of **_PAIN_** as well, but the love she felt overshadowed it all. I leaned down to kiss her and she kissed me back through trembling lips as I continued to inch into her. Her breathing sped up and I felt her **_PAIN_** increase slightly so I stopped for a moment, wanting to let her adjust. I placed slow loving kisses all over her face as she whimpered through tears that would never come. My right hand stroked her face and she opened her eyes to look into mine. I smiled before leaning into her ear and kissing it slowly from top to bottom. "I love you." I hadn't wanted to break the silence between us, afraid to disrupt the magic of this moment but I couldn't keep the words in.

"I love you..." Her words were labored but honest. "...so much." After her body relaxed I continued to move into her. She tensed all over but this time I continued as I kissed her face softly. After I was all the way in I stopped moving, waiting for her body to relax before I began to move. She took slow steady breaths as she gripped me tightly to her body, needing me close. I kissed everywhere I could reach, which was mostly her neck at this point, with how close she held me to her. My hands moved up to her arms and I rubbed them reassuringly. **_LOVE..._** I just kept throwing the emotion at her, wanting her to know how true my feelings were. She sniffled and nodded in understanding of my message.

After a long time she relaxed and I took that as my que to move. I gently began to retract from her before pushing back in, only slightly faster than my initial time. I didn't want to cause her more pain than necessary, I just wanted to feel her and for her to feel me. She took a deep breath but the pain was less now so I continued, this time even faster. My body lit up as I was now able to let myself feel everything between us. I had closed off my own sensations up until this point, wanting to focus on taking care of her but now that I didn't need to, I was overcome with everything I could feel from her. My body became a live wire as I truly let go and felt absolutely everything that the old me would never have been capable of allowing or understanding. I felt powerful, weak, terrified, needed, loved, amazing, calm and above all... complete. I was complete with her. I was the man I had never been, always wanted to be, and longed to become all in this one moment and I had never felt such bliss before and I knew I could only ever feel it with her.

My thrusts increased as she began to moan and the pain she'd been feeling disappeared completely. There were to many emotion coming from her to give a name to them and they were right on par with my own. I smiled gently as I felt everything multiplied by two. I kissed her deeply but kept my speed steady, enjoying her sounds and the feeling of her body beneath mine. She was all around me and everything I could see, smell, taste, hear, feel... it was all her. After a awhile, I didn't know how long exactly, it could have been minutes, hours or days for all I knew, her breathing sped up and her moans got louder. I kissed her deeply as I shifted higher up her body before sliding back down forcefully at a new angle. She gave a small pleasured scream as she came and I followed right behind her while never leaving her lips. My full weight fell on her but I couldn't bring myself to move. I needed to be close and I needed to feel every inch of her.

Yes... I knew without a doubt that I could only ever feel this whole without her. She was all I needed and the only thing that could ever complete me. Such a thought could almost be sad except that I knew I would always be with Alice and she would always be with me. She was mine and I was hers. This is what the mating bond truly was. It wasn't just getting a spouse or a partner. I was getting the missing half of myself. I was lost before I found Alice and now I had all I would ever need...

 **…...**

 ******** **LEMON OVER** ********

 **…...**

I watched Alice sleeping in my arms and I couldn't help but think about what would happen now? In most ways I suppose nothing had changed. She was my soul mate and the only thing I truly cared for in this world, and now that had only become clearer. Yes... that hadn't changed but I had... or I needed to. I needed to alter my thoughts involving her family unit. They meant so much to her and I couldn't keep holding myself separate from them as I knew it would be a strain on her eventually, almost like having two families. I could never do that to her so I knew I needed to do something. At the same time I knew I couldn't just change my feelings or thoughts involving privacy, unity, family, and everything else that conflicted with her family ideals. Was there a way to meet in the middle?

I took in her form. She was wearing my shirt now and I smirked at how large it was on her. I absolutely loved how small she was and all it did was make me want to protect her all the more. I loved her so much and I didn't know how I would be able to reign it in, now that she was truly mine. I stroked her face and she smiled in her sleep at the contact. I leaned in and kissed her deeply not being able to wait for her to wake up. Despite being in the vampiric state of 'dead sleep' she kissed me back, with the same gentleness she always did, while still not waking. I smirked as I pulled back holding her tighter to my body, then I closed my eyes and allowed myself to begin drifting off for the first real sleep I'd ever had. I had my mate, my future, and my whole life in my arms right now and I had never felt more unstoppable.

 **…...**

"Jasper?" I had woken at the same time Alice had but had kept my eyes closed as I just wanted to lay with her for awhile. I had no idea what time it was, if it was night or day, or how long we'd been asleep but I couldn't care less. I felt her small hands rested over my bare chest as well as her chin. I knew she would be looking at me with her big gold eyes and that made me smirk. I felt her smile into my chest as she took in my smile.

"Yes, darlin?" I still had my eyes closed but wasn't going to ignore her. She didn't answer so I opened one eye to peer at her. She giggled before burying her face into my chest. I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her up my body until she was eye level with me. She smiled at me as I leaned up to meet her mouth with mine. We kissed gently as I stroked her face repeatedly.

BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ

My eyes averted to her phone on my night stand. I glanced back to her just in time to see her eyes had glazed over. I chuckled as she was clearly cheating to see if the call was worth getting up for. I pulled her back down to me and kissed her again. She came out of her vision and squeaked when she realized I was kissing her. I flipped us over so that I was on top of her and she giggled while wrapping her legs around me playfully. I rested my elbows on either side of her head as I starred into her eyes. "Who was it darlin?"

"Rosalie." I rolled my eyes. Definitely not worth the interruption then. As though reading my thought she smiled coyly up at me. I looked at her in question, wondering what was going on in her head. "I love you." I smiled widely at her whispered words.

"As I love you." She averted her gaze shyly and I knew exactly what she was thinking about. "Are you okay. Are you in any pain, sweetheart?" I didn't know what the norm for this situation was as I had never come across a virgin vampire before Alice. She shrugged and nodded at the same time. I just watched as she fought the huge smile threatening to take over her face. I was about to speak again when I heard the phone from my room start to ring. I leaned over Alice to grab it off the end table.

"Jasper Whitlock speaking." I had resumed my position directly over her and had started stroking her hairline with my free hand as she gazed up at me.

"Jasper, is Alice with you?" It was Edward and he sounded intense.

"Of course she is." Honestly where else would she be? I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 12pm. I grabbed Alice's cell phone to check the date and saw that it was Sunday... not Saturday, meaning Alice and I had been alone for about 24 hours. Well that would explain his worry. Alice looked at me in question and I smirked while holding her phone to her. She looked at the date and immediately tried to hide her face in embarrassment. I held no such feelings as I had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. She finally looked back at me and I waggled my eyebrows slightly causing her to giggle.

"May I speak with her?" I wordlessly handed the phone to Alice and she took it. She tried to maneuver out from underneath me but I grabbed her hips firmly and gave her a pointed look that spoke the silent words. 'Where do you think you're going?' She smiled in spite of her attempt to ignore me.

"Hi Edward." Her voice was as cheery as usual and I smiled at her. He wanted to know when she would be home and she said she didn't know. I grinned mischievously when she said that and she playfully slapped my shoulder. After awhile he asked to speak with me again and when he did he told me that the wolves had been in contact and thought they caught a small hint of unknown vampire near their border that morning. With a heavy sigh I agreed to come back to the Cullen home so the family could discuss the threat. Admittedly Alice and I needed to explain our theory about two shields anyway and we couldn't stay in our bubble forever.

We got off the phone quickly and got dressed in our own clothes, much to my disappointment. I'd have been happy to keep Alice in my clothes for much longer. We were almost to her house when I stopped her in mid run. She looked at me in question and I hesitated on how to bring this up. She was so innocent and I didn't want her caught off guard by what was likely to occur with her family.

"Darlin, you do realize that they are going to know what happened... between us." It was technically a question but came out as a statement as I already suspected she had no clue. True to my suspicions her eyes widened.

"What?" Her one word was full of fear and embarrassment. I pulled her to my chest and held her while I kissed the top of her head.

"They will smell it on us, sweetheart." She looked up at me in puzzlement.

"Mated vampires tend to smell like their mate." She actually seemed relieved by my statement.

"I already smell like you most of the time." I knew she was referring to the surface smell we got when we came into contact with another person, and with that statement from her I knew I was going to have to be more blunt with her.

"This is different. Our smells are... mixed now... and far more potent. Like our scents have been combined." She seemed to be pondering that and I hoped she was understanding.

"That's normal isn't it? My family smells like that all the time." It took everything in me not to laugh at the statement she'd just made. God she was so cute in her naivety.

"Yes, it's very normal." I had never wanted to burst out laughing so hard in my life. **_CONTROL, CALM._** I tried to reign in my emotions as I didn't want to laugh at her. I knew this reunion wasn't going to go perfectly with her family and I needed to support her. I gave her a pointed look, trying desperately to make her understand. She just watched me _**PUZZLED, CONFUSED**._ I sighed as I let a smirk come to my face. There really was no hiding the humor I was feeling from what I was about to explain. "It is normal, darlin... because your family has two mated pairs." She nodded still not getting it. "Emmett, Rosalie, your father and your mother smell like that because they are mates... that mate... most likely quite frequently." I saw dawning then horror cross her face and at the point I couldn't keep it in. I started laughing outright at her disgusted face.

"Oh my God. That's why they always... smell like that?" I nodded as I continued to laugh. "I just thought it was a mate thing." She seemed to be speaking to herself with that statement but I responded anyway, seeing another opportunity to toy with her.

"It is a mate thing. It's called... mating." She buried her face into my chest and I stroked her hair lovingly. "Otherwise known as sex, copulation, making love, relations, coitus, intercourse,..." She cut me off by kissing me. I was caught by surprise but not enough to not kiss her back. The kiss was timid and full of **_WORRY, FEAR, LOVE_.** Her emotions clearly showed that the time for humor had past. "Darlin..." She cut me off before I could ask what was wrong.

"It's going to be bad isn't it?" Ironic that the psychic was asking me that but I looked past it.

"I don't really know." I was fairly positive that Edward and Esme would handle it well but the rest of them were a big question mark. "I just know I love you." She smiled despite all her worries and I kissed her once more, softly. I took her hand as I led her wordlessly towards home.

 **…...**

The whole family was speechless as we entered and I didn't know if that was a good thing, a sign of them quietly processing what they'd just figured out, or if it was a very bad case of the 'calm before the storm'. Alice hadn't looked at any of them and had instead buried her face into my chest as I held her close. Wordlessly I gave a brief hello before leading Alice to a couch where I sat and brought her to my lap. Edward was sitting on the couch across from us reading and gave me a small smile before returning to his book. Well at least one of them was pretending to act normal. By pretending I mean it was obvious he wasn't actually reading. His eyes were darting around the room so I knew he was reading minds.

The only family member not present was Carlisle as he was at the hospital and I wondered if his entrance would be the trigger to ignite the tension. I decided to play decoy and brought up Alice and I's theories about the second shield. Edward was intrigued by the idea but like me was skeptical that the group of 6 just happened to have 2 opposite shields. Esme joined in the discussion, sitting beside Edward as we discussed what the wolves had smelt, which really told us nothing. They hadn't seen Maria or her pet and they hadn't even caught the brief whiff I had off Jaime, so they weren't able to tell us if the smell matched.

My eyes drifted to Emmett and Rosalie. Both were seated at the dining room table but neither were looking at us. Emmett looked concerned as he rubbed Rosalies back and she just displayed **_LOATHING, ANGER, RESENTMENT._** I had no clue what those feelings were directed at and honestly I didn't really find that I cared. Rosalie had been nothing but a thorn in my side since we'd met. If she even attempted to embarrass, humiliate, guilt, or hurt Alice in anyway I would stop her, by any means necessary.

 **…...**

Everyone relaxed after awhile, including Emmett and Rosalie, though they didn't really participate in the four of ours conversation. Alice gasped all of the sudden and I turned to her, just to see her eyes glazed over. I immediately looked to Edward, who was watching her with widened eyes. I pulled her to my lap and stroked her face as she watched whatever future event unfold. "Dad." Her voice was full of **_FEAR_** and **_WORRY_** and I wasn't sure what she'd seen but I knew instantly that something very bad was about to happen.

"What did you see Alice?" Emmett finally joined us as he stepped into the area where we were, with Rose right beside him. Her eyes were still far away so I knew she didn't hear his question. I continued to stroke her face, waiting for her to come out of it.

"Carlisle is getting confronted at the hospital." Edward answered Emmett's question as Alice continued to scan the possibilities.

"Confronted?!" Rosalie spoke now and was clearly pissed off.

"Possibly." Edward seemed to be struggling as he watched Alice's visions. He eventually closed his eyes and I wondered if he was trying to block out all the thoughts so he could just focus on Alice's.

"Possibly?!" Now Emmett spoke, just as angrily as Rose had. "Why are we just standing here then?"

"The future isn't exact. She's seeing multiple things." Edward was getting frustrated with them and I couldn't say I blamed him. I continued to watch her as her eyes continuously searched the possibilities. Rosalie took determined steps towards us and I unwittingly growled at her as she approached. It wasn't really done on purpose, though I couldn't deny that I didn't want her close to Alice at the moment. The last interaction between the two of them hadn't gone well and Alice was in a vulnerable state. I had no interest in allowing a hot head near her like this. Emmett stepped in front of Rosalie and growled back, to which I completely ignored him. I wasn't even going to dignify his response with a reaction. Neither of them scared me and even sitting down with Alice in my lap, I knew I could take them both.

"Alice?" Esme walked over and knelt down in front of us. I followed her eyes to Alice and saw her blinking.

"What did you see darlin?"

"It was cloudy but intense. I saw 6 figures... I couldn't make out any of them, approach dad outside the hospital, then I saw them approach him here, then I saw the numbers change..." She trailed off as I tried to understand.

"He's almost home." I looked to Edward just as he stood and approached the front window. Clearly he heard Carlisle's mind.

"Was he confronted yet?" I somehow doubted it but I wanted to know for sure.

"No." Interesting. Why wouldn't they approach when there was only one of us? That was the far smarted choice. The garage opened and Esme jumped up to greet her mate. **_TERROR_.** She had held a strong front for her children but she was deeply concerned for him. As soon as he opened the door she was in his arms. He hugged her back smiling curiously as he clearly hadn't figured out the source of her eagerness yet. When she finally looked up at him dawning crossed his face. He looked to all of us and I was sure none of our faces were any more comforting.

"What's going on?" For such a peaceful man he had a very real authority over his family when he spoke. Alice was up off my lap instantly and ran into his arms. I really didn't like her absence but I knew what he meant to her and I had no idea exactly what she'd seen happen to him. He held her and Esme as neither seemed eager to leave him. He looked to Edward who shook his head in the negative. I thought back to when I had first observed this family, before we'd met, and I remembered how frustrated Emmett had gotten over the two leaders silent communicating. I had a newfound understanding of his annoyance now.

"Alice had a vision of the unknown vampires approaching you outside the hospital, but the vision was unclear." Edward spoke in a firm matter-of-fact tone as Alice pulled away. Carlisle stroked her face fatherly to assure her he was okay. She nodded before returning to me. I brought her into my arms. I was no longer sitting as her presence away from me had spurred me to stand awkwardly.

"What else do you see?" I looked down to her as she furrowed her brows and let her eyes search again. I rubbed her arm as I watched.

"Nothing." I could see the question in everyone's eyes. 'Why can't she see anything now?'

"Perhaps what Alice saw before was because the group had separated temporarily?" It was the only reason I could come up with for why she could suddenly see something then just as quickly not see a thing. Carlisle nodded at me and as the family calmed down Edward explained our theory about two seperate shields. Surprisingly he actually had some insight on that. Apparently he had met a physical shield, other than Renata, that had the ability to hide physical evidence of themselves, especially scent. To vampires this was as good as being invisible and now that he had confirmed the possibility I was deeply worried. Apparently the vampire had been a rogue he'd met about ten years before he created Edward. Why would a rogue group up with Maria? Assuming this was even the same vampire.

"Was he a friend or enemy?" It seemed the only important thing to know, though I could guess the answer.

"I wouldn't call him either. His name was Samuel." I nodded not liking the answer. He didn't sound like a loyalist to anything in particular. People without something to stand for were the perfect types for Maria to use.

"Was he a good fighter?" Alice looked up at me with wide eyes but I kept my eyes on her father. Someone with such a sneaky ability had a huge advantage over other vampires but at the same time that could mean he relayed solely on the element of surprise and not on skill.

Carlisle watched me intently for a moment before nodding. I nodded back, again not thrilled with the answer. "Nowhere near as skilled as you though." He spoke earnestly, not trying to pad my ego. I frowned not knowing how much my skill could help against someone with such skills. Surprise is a dangerous thing to have on your side.

"If it comes down to a fight we outnumber them." Emmett spoke with confidence but not really arrogance.

"None of you are experienced in fighting. It took two of you to just restrain the newborn, not even fight him." I wasn't trying to be cruel, just honest. This family was peaceful. That wasn't a bad thing, it was just the truth.

"We can fight if we need to." Rosalie spoke and I frowned. Really the issue was still the basic questions of why and what. Why was this group a group at all. What did they want?

"How many could you take Jasper?" Leave it to Emmett to be blunt. Alice gripped me tightly as I kept my eyes on Emmett.

"The most I've ever defeated at once in a fight was three newborns." He seemed impressed. "...But..." I felt the need to explain how different this situation was. "Newborns are different. As far as I can tell this group is 1 newborn, 1 very old master fighter, and 4 other unknown mature vampires." I shook my head at how dangerous of a position we were in.

"Could you take Maria down in a fight?" **_CONCERN, SADNESS, GUILT, AFFECTION._** Surprisingly Esme spoke, though hesitantly. I knew she was referring to Maria being both older than me and the one who had trained me. It was a reasonable question and a smart thing to ask. I could tell from her emotions that she hated asking it though. Her concern was most likely based on some loyalty she felt I would have for the vampire that made me.

"If I had to, yes." I was a better fighter than Maria, even she knew that. It was why she had needed me so much. Few people would be able to take her in a fight and any that could were something she would want to control.

"Had to? What the Hell does that mean?" Rosalie spoke and I growled.

"It means if I had to I could kill her." Edward actually stepped between us but kept his eyes on Rosalie.

"ENOUGH ROSE. Jasper has been nothing but loyal to us from the start. You already saw him stand up to Maria for Alice with your own eyes. BACK OFF."

"Yet she's still alive to do whatever the hell she's planning." I took a step around Alice, ever so willing to fight Rose over her words. She was implying I had a loyalty to Maria. That alone was beyond insulting but to imply I could take her side over Alice was rage inducing.

"I didn't want Jasper to kill her." Alice spoke as she stepped back around me and looked at me kindly before looking to her sister. "He didn't kill her because it was what I wanted." I was still fuming but as she rubbed my arms I calmed down slightly.

"Why the hell would you want his former mate alive and well?" I growled at her just throwing around that word but Alice ignored it.

"Because she doesn't have the power to make him kill anymore. She has no power over him, he's free of her... and I wanted her to know that." I looked down at Alice in shock. I had thought she'd stopped me because of how innocent and good she was but there was so much more to it than that. She did it for me, to protect me. She wrapped her arms around my torso at the same time I pulled her close to my chest and kissed her head. I wouldn't have thought it was possible but I loved Alice even more now.

"I love you." I spoke the words softly and she nodded before whispering them back.

 **…...**

It felt like both a short and long time that the room went silent but eventually that silence ended. Edward suddenly looked very confused and I seemed to figure out why at the same time he did. He looked to me in **_FEAR_** , probably thinking I could figure out what he wanted to say. He couldn't hear anything. They were close.

I pulled Alice behind me and let loose a growl. Everyone jumped at the sound but I barely noticed as my gaze was firmly on the front door. All the males did the same thing with their own mates and Edward seemed to be trying to push past whatever was blocking his telepathy. _**FOCUS**._ I threw it at him in a heavy dose that took all of my own focus to generate, hoping it could help. He glanced at me and gave a small nod. "They are close, all six of them."

I growled again, thinking about Maria being here again. A knock came to the door and we all starred at each-other over the surreal feeling of this moment. Why the hell was this group knocking? What did they want? **_CONFUSION, DISBELIEF, FEAR, DOUBT._** All of their feelings matched one another. _**DETERMINATION, POSSIVENESS, ANGER, PRIDE, JOY, EXCITEMENT.** _ I was growing increasingly curious over why this shield didn't block my gifts. I was thankful for it as my gift was the only one our group had now but I still didn't know why. None of the emotions the group was feeling was filling me with confidence right now. Edward stepped toward the door, as he was the only one not defending a mate. Alice and Esme both whimpered and I knew I couldn't let him approach the door alone. I handed Alice off to her mother and father, and at full speed went to Edward's side.

He nodded at me so I stopped a few feet from the door as he stopped right in front of it. He opened the door slightly and I couldn't see who was there but I was picking up 6 separate emotions, apart from Edward's.

"We're here to speak with your leader." A female, not Maria spoke, and her voice was familiar somehow. I glanced back at Carlisle and he took a few steps forward as Esme held Alice. Edward opened the door widely but I didn't wait to see the vampires. I ran back to Alice and held her close, with esme close to me as well. I shifted so that I was guarding both of them, as Carlisle was close to the intruders now and couldn't defend Esme from his location.

I looked to the door as 3 of the unknown vampires entered, none being newborns, then Maria and her newborn entered followed by someone I never would have expected to see. I let loose a fierce growl at the same moment her eyes met mine and she smirked. The whole family looked at me in question and fear except Carlisle. As he took in the female his whole body tensed and I knew that he was aware of exactly who this was.

She walked in leisurely, confidence only someone in charge could have, before smiling that sick innocent smile she was so good at mimicking. **POWER, JOY, EXCITEMENT.** Her standard emotions firmly in place. She looked back at me, then to Alice and Esme before looking back at Carlisle who seemed more tense then I did.

"Carlisle, it's been awhile."

Despite having his back to me I could see him take a deep jagged breath. "Jane..."

...

 ** **END NOTES:****

***Dun Dun DUN! If it isn't everyone's absolute favorite Volturi Guard. She is certainly good at bringing the excitement * **Wink Wink** *

***My very first lemon. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT... I originally had decided I wouldn't put a lemon in this story out of respect for my ultra private Jasper character but as I was writing this chapter... it just felt right. :-) :-) Hopefully it made up for all the cold showers Jasper may have inflicted on poor Alice.

***What did everyone think? (As I hide behind a rock waiting for critical reviews of my first ever attempt of writing something so intimate.)***Be Gentle...***

*** This chapter turned out long due to me adding in the 5 page lemon so hopefully that helps with the horrible delay in an update.

***I know the updates are coming slower on this story but the next one wont be so long. I promise.

***I'm only anticipating a couple more chapters for this story and I already have the ending pretty much completely written. :-)

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Chapter (SONG) Title: "Something WICKED this way comes" by Raydia- A very cool song with great lyrics. The song is all about the ominous upcoming storm that's unpreventable. I love the beat of this song and its fitting for Jasper trying to figure out Maria's plan.


	20. PAIN

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 **REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW**

 _ **NOTES:**_

- **Title says it all. 'PAIN' staring the one and only Jane**

 **\- Story is coming to a close. Thanks for reading along with me. :-)**

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

 ****- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)**

 **Chapter#20: PAIN**

 **JPOV**

 _ **FEAR, EXCITEMENT, CONFUSION, LOVE, TERROR, LUST, DETERMINATION, ANGER.**_ God there was so much emotion it almost floored me. I took advantage of it and began absorbing it. I may not be the psychic but anyone could see that something really bad was about to happen.

Despite being a vampire for over a century, it would never stop surprising me how so many feelings could happen at once for us. Despite the situation, two opposing vampire groups meeting, there was some friendliness to the whole situation as well as all the bad. The physical shield was indeed the vampire Carlisle met years ago but he didn't appear to be at all hostile, and even greeted Carlisle casually. They spoke for awhile as they caught up, which of course gave Jane and Maria the chance to watch all of us in an uncomfortable way. The whole situation was bizarre to say the least and I didn't know how to feel about it all, besides confused. None of this group were Volturi, except Jane of course, which just caused more questions for me. What did that mean? What was going on exactly? Why were they here, especially the unknown three.

"Jasper." God how I hated this witch. Alice looked up at me but I kept my eyes on the Volturi's little attack dog. She had been silent towards me through all the friendly exchanges but it seemed it was time for us to be reacquainted.

"Jane. I can't say it's a pleasure." Carlisle looked at me like I was crazy but I was nothing if not honest.

"Is that anyway to speak to your superior?" Her voice was dead on top of also sounding so childish. It was eerie, and so very her.

"You are nothing to me, let alone my superior." Her eyes turned black and I knew I was pushing a bit far. I needed to remember that as much as I didn't fear her gift, I did fear for Alice. I had something to defend now, and I refused to fail my mate.

She stepped toward me and the other unknown vampires followed. The way we were all spaced out now made it so that this group was in the center of the room, whereas we were in a casual circle around them. It would have been a position of strength, but somehow didn't feel as such. "Have you forgotten what I can do, little empath?" I just starred at her and shifted myself more in front of Esme and Alice, making sure that if she used her power, it would be on me.

"Have you forgotten that pain is just weakness, that's all you are witch... weakness." She growled at me and the next thing I knew the _**PAIN**_ was coursing through me. I gritted my teeth as I fought with everything I had not to fall to my knees. That satisfaction was what she needed, and I refused to give it to her. Pain can pass, it always does.

"Jane, please stop." I heard Carlisle's voice but it was difficult through everything she was shooting through me. She'd gotten stronger since I last saw her. I felt Alice try to grab me but I still had enough control to push her behind me. Jane was a sadistically evil creature and she would enjoy using us against one another. The pain vanished and I took a deep breath as Jane narrowed her eyes slightly.

"I almost forgot how high of a pain threshold you have." It was sick how much that upset her, but not surprising. I'll have to try harder next time." I didn't say anything, just kept my eyes on hers. Carlisle had moved and pulled Esme to him leaving just me and Alice in this corner. Alice grabbed me as my muscles relaxed slightly from the tension. Despite being vampires, and not needing to rest or heal, exactly, I still felt the need to catch my breath. There was a reason she was the Volturi's favorite. She was very good at what she did. Alice moved to my front and wrapped her arms around me tightly, before I could stop her. Her black hair was all I could see as she buried herself into my chest. I looked up and saw Jane's red eyes zero in on my mate. _**CURIOSITY, ANNOYANCE, PLAYFULLNESS, THOUGHTFULLNESS.**_ I growled loudly before pushing Alice behind me with as much strength as I dared to use on my own mate. Jane's eyes went back to mine and she gave that disgusting smile again.

"Oh yes. You have a new female now." Her eyes went back to Alice before meeting mine. "A little young for you, isn't she?" I didn't respond, just held Alice behind me. "She's a bit of a strange choice for you, what with the innocent little animal diet and all." _**HUMOR, DISGUST, JOY, JEALOUSY, LUST.**_ All of the intruders emotions were still screaming at me and with all the _**PROTECTIVENERSS, RAGE, FEAR, ANGER, LOVE,**_ and every other emotion of my own I felt, I was beginning to wish my gift was being blocked like Alice and Edward's.

"Why are you here?" Carlisle spoke, obviously wanting the focus off his daughter.

"We'll get to that." She didn't even look at him. She had always been equal parts fascinated and infuriated with my level of tolerance over her gift. Honestly it did hurt, no denying that, but pain was something I knew quite well and it was something I knew how to handle. "I noticed you have gold eyes, General Jasper."

"What do you care?" I couldn't resist asking. I knew she was most likely baiting me into getting into a fight but I didn't know why.

"I just find it interesting, given the number of humans that you've killed, captured, and fed to the newborns. Does she know all the humans you fed to your army like dog food." I took a deep breath before flashing a glance at Maria, who was eyeing Alice with _**HATRED and SATISFACTION.**_

"I repeat. What do you care?" My past was irrelevant to her. I kept flashing my eyes to all of these threats. What was the angle? I understood Maria's, at least slightly. She wanted to see me squirm. She resented me leaving her and the fact that I had Alice now was enraging to her. She knew with a mate she had no power over me. That was a call nothing else could out-do.

"Does your little baby toy know exactly what you're capable of?" Jane was trying to push me, but for what end?

"MY MATE. Speak of her with respect or you will regret it." I despised anyone demeaning Alice or what we were for one-another.

"You dare talk to me that way. Maybe I should test if the innocent thing has the same level of tolerance that you do." I didn't give her eyes a chance to move from me. I ran forward and stopped right in front of her, making no move to touch her, just blocking her from Jane's evil stare. Her eyes widened but she didn't move.

"If you touch what is mine, I will have free reign to kill you."

"Are you threatening me?" _**ANGER, DISBELIEF.**_

"Are you threatening her? If yes then, yes I am threatening you. Vampire laws are simple. If a vampire is threatened, their mate has the right to defend them. Who you THINK you are doesn't make you immune to this. You will pay for touching what belongs to me.

"I am Volturi."

"You are not VOTURI. You are their toy, their attack dog." I glanced at Maria who was looking at me through _**ANGER**_ **,** before looking back at Jane. Considering her age and experience, Jane was far to gullible for her own good. She was just their tool, nothing more. It was actually something we had in common. I was once the same thing, a tool that actually thought I meant more. The difference was I realized the truth and moved on. That was something I doubted Jane ever would, accept the truth. "Just as I was once. You are nothing to them, and Alice is everything to me."

 _ **RAGE, ANGER, WRATH, FEAR, WORRY.**_ Maria was boiling at my words but Jane's self doubt seeped through everything else I felt. Deep down maybe a small part of her did indeed doubt the Volturi's loyalty to her, but who's to know if she would ever acknowledge that to herself. "I have the right to uphold the law. I am of the guard."

"And I am mated, and therefore bound to a coven. I will fight for both." I felt all of the Cullen's _**SHOCK, DISBELIEF, HAPPINESS, CONCERN, ANGER, WORRY, and FEAR**_ over my words but that didn't change that it was all true. "You are not above our laws Jane. If you touch her, I will end you."

She dared to laugh but I just starred at her. "You could never win in a fight against me."

"You have no idea what real pain is witch. I would be happy to show you."

"Jasper, stand down." I growled at Carlisle giving me an order. No one gave me orders, this was why I didn't have a coven. I couldn't deny though that as much as Alice was mine, she was partially his as well. He was worried about everyone and I could respect that.

Jane smirked when I did, indeed, stand down. She had never really seen me follow orders. Even with Maria, I would ignore her when in the heat of things. I followed my instincts above all else, I didn't typically listen to anyone as a result. "Are you the Cullen's soldier now, just as you were Maria's?"

"If I need to be, yes." I took no offense at the idea. I would rather fight for a family like them then to so much as look at Maria ever again.

"Then you claim them as your coven?" I starred at her but didn't answer. Yes I was bound to them as my mate was a member, but were they MY coven? "I asked you a question."

"And I didn't answer. I am not required to do so either. You are not my ruler and no law has been broken."

"Hasn't it?" She looked smug and I turned to Maria as I heard her laugh silently. I didn't respond as I suddenly realized we were getting to the point. The reason as to why they were here.

"Jane, what do you mean?" _**FEAR, WORRY, CONCERN.**_ Her build up was succeeding in panicking the Cullen's. You could hear the fear in Carlisle's voice.

"I mean, are you so positive that our laws have not been violated?" I looked to Edward who I could see was trying desperately to dig into the invaders heads, but was seemingly getting nowhere.

"I am positive that you will twist something to make it seem that we did." The whole family looked at me through _**SHOCK, FEAR, ANNOYANCE...**_ and many other things but I only spoke the truth. Jane was a sick creature. She loved to hurt others, just to watch their pain. I would not pretend for even a moment that this group was not here to dispense some form of retribution on us for a crime no one committed.

"You may want to watch your words, Jasper." Maria spoke and I turned my eyes to her. It was so hard to believe I ever loved or even cared for the woman. She was a horribly selfish creature and cared nothing about harming everyone to help herself.

"You may want to follow your creators advice." I didn't even bother to pay attention to Jane's mocking. Apparently we were going to go through whatever sadistic motions the witch wanted to put us through before she got to the point. Everyone of the group eventually relaxed about and began to make themselves at home. They all took up seats in the living room, spread out in such a way that there were few spots available to us. It was just as well, as I would not be sitting, and I certainly wouldn't be letting Alice get into a vulnerable position either. As Jane began to make ominous small talk with Carlisle, as though she were discussing the weather, Maria kept her eyes on me, though she tried to hide it.

Jane brought up various 'offenses' the Cullen's had committed and all were what I would consider nonsense. She mentioned Carlisle working so publicly around human blood. Carlisle dismissed that 'charge' immediately as Aro himself was well aware of his chosen profession. Jane was not happy with how easily her offense was shot down, especially when Carlisle offered to contact Aro and speak with him about it. I was not pleased with the idea of contacting the self proclaimed ruler of the vampire race, but my hesitation was lessened when I observed Jane's reaction. The feelings of _**ANGER and RESENTMENT**_ that she gave off at the mere idea of contacting her leader showed more then she had intended us to know. It was now plainly obvious that she was not here by order of the Volturi. In fact the more I thought about it the more obvious that was. The Volturi did nothing solo and she was the only member here, made obvious by the fact that she was the only one of the group in the well known black robes that the guard wore.

She smartly side-tracked the conversation to the next crime. She mentioned the cops investigating a missing human, the one I had killed, but Edward dismissed that with an amazing amount of grace. He mentioned that it was a case of missing persons, not foul play, given the lack of evidence to the contrary. The investigation, which I learned Edward was deeply in the loop of, had all but stopped due to lack of evidence in any capacity. His deep knowledge of the case and crime clearly annoyed Jane as she shot him looks that I knew she wished her power was behind. I had to hand it to Edward, e was quite smart, not just in his detective skills but the way he handled Jane. Unlike me, who geared towards blatant disrespect, he had a way of pushing her buttons just as much while sounding quite respectful on the surface. It must be his experience as a telepath, he was good at pushing the right buttons.

Her next crime was the wolves. We all tensed at this, and probably all for different reasons. Personally I cared little for the wolves, except Seth, but I was worried for Jamie. She was a human that they knew about,.. They also knew that she was, at the very least, EXPOSED to the supernatural. This was something that the Volturi had absolutely no tolerance for. She tried to bring up the Cullen's exposure to the human tribe but it was Rosalie that objected to this with a blunt statement of... "You saw them turn into giant mutts right? In what world is THAT human?" I laughed at her sarcastic disrespect of the little witch. Rosalie actually shot me a small smile at my encouragement. It was clear neither of us liked the tap dancing happening with the group right now.

Regrettably Jamie was brought up next and it took everything in me to avoid attacking Jane when she casually mentioned taking out the child. Esme looked like she was going to cry at the sheer idea of harming a child but I spoke in her defense, stating that she was a member of the 'shifter' clan and would know simply because of what her own people were. It was a difficult story to sell Jane but honestly what could she say to the contrary? She tried to state that we should simply take out all of the Quileutes, but I laughed and not so subtly inferred that anyone who thought killing an entire tribe of people wouldn't expose us all to humans would have to be a complete idiot. She didn't like my insult but let it pass as she knew I was right.

Each passing grievance she had with us after the Quileutes was less and less worrisome and it gave me the ability to focus on the other vampires. The 4 that Jane and Maria had brought were beginning to feel like little more then landscape. They didn't even feel like bodyguards or soldiers. It was like they were there merely to give the two female leaders numbers, to help them appear threatening. The newborn kept his eyes shifting among everyone in the room, including his own 'allies'. CLEARLY there was no real kinship here. The other three vampires, who were obviously with Jane for unknown reasons, just stood together not really doing anything imposing. I didn't know if this worried me, like that maybe they were really clever and wanted to give us a false sense of security, or if they truly weren't a threat.

Maria grew more _**AGGRAVATED**_ with each dismissed charge and she was not doing as well of a job as she usually was with hiding her feelings. Her emotions swam with just about every negative feeling possible and it was almost amusing... until her eyes shifted to me, and Alice. I used her growing frustration to my advantage and continued with my idea of how to bait her. I didn't speak or even acknowledge that she was watching me... Alice... us. Instead I chose a different approach. Maybe it was Jane's presence here, but I suddenly had an idea of how to inflict my own form of torture as well as get what I wanted right now. I averted my eyes to Alice, and she was watching me through the same array of nerves that the rest of her family felt. She was _**SCARED**_... above all else, I could feel that as her dominating emotion right now. I hated it but at the same time it would help with what I needed to do.

I cradled her face, then leaned my head down to hers, working on focusing what I could to calm her. _**LOVE, DEVOTION, LUST, PROTECTIVENESS, JOY, PEACE, SAFE, CONTENTMENT.**_ The names for those emotions may be generic but the feelings are not. Everything she invokes in me completes me and makes me finally feel like me. I didn't know this person she was turning me into, but I wanted to. I wanted to be better then what I've always been, and I felt like I could finally. This new feeling of hope was all because of her and I loved her for it. I radiated the feelings to her, but not just her...

GROWL. It was very low but I still heard it as Maria began to fall for my bait. I took a lot of willpower not to reveal what I was doing as I pretended to not even notice her. Maria knew me as the calm, calculating, private man that, yes... I was... for the most part. She didn't however, know what Alice brought out of me. What the mating call did to me. I held Alice close to me as I continued to shower her with my affection, both physically and emotionally. I wasn't too obvious of course, I was still standing straight and angled, so as to pay attention to the threats in the room. The amount of attention I gave Alice was enough that only Alice would really know how much I was focused on her... well her and Maria.

Alice wrapped her arms around me and I rubbed her back affectionately. "I love you." I almost felt bad saying the words right now. Of course I meant them but I was using them strategically, not against Alice, of course, but I was still using them. She nodded as I continued to rub her. I spoke quietly, the only way any vampire would even hear me is if they were paying close attention. Vampire senses were strong but we were easily distracted and there was certainly a lot of reasons to be focused elsewhere. Someone would need to have a reason to pay attention to me over all the other potential problems in the room at the moment. A group of 6 versus a group of 7 was enough to dominate anyone's thoughts over a little affection shared between mates.

 _ **ANGER, JEALOUSY, RAGE, HATRED...**_ There was enough problems for all vampires to ignore us... all but one of them... of course. I quickly pushed Alice away from me just as I felt my body slam into... or rather through, the wall of the house. I landed outside and almost into the forest. I didn't take a moment to halt though. I flashed forward and grabbed my attacker, Maria, by the neck. She hadn't been aiming for me, but for Alice. As much as I hated to admit it, that was my hope though. By doing so, she committed the greatest of offense to another vampire. Attacking their mate. I grasped her tightly and slammed her into the ground with everything I had, prepared to kill her right here, right now.

"PAIN." I felt the sensation course through me and because I hadn't anticipated the feeling, it hit hard. I released Maria, without ever meaning to. My plan had been to subtly get Maria to attack myself and Alice, giving me full right to defend us. Vampire law was simple. If attacked unprovoked, a vampire can always defend their mate. I hadn't... therefore... counted on Jane defending Maria. It was a stupid mistake, and it seemed I was going to pay for it.

"Jasper!" To my intense surprise Alice attacked, Jane of all people. It was a terrifying sight, considering who Jane was but it was immediately clear that the action was the smartest thing she could have done. Jane's power requires her to maintain eye-contact on her victim and Alice's attack caught her of guard. I doubted anyone had ever actually attacked the demon girl because of her ability. Leave it to my Alice to shock everyone, including me. I didn't know if Alice had known about the requirement to Jane's talent but as I watched, I saw Alice holding Jane from behind, both being very close to the same height due to Jane being turned at a young age. This positioning of Alice completely stopped Jane being able to paralyze Alice in retaliation.

I smiled at Alice before grabbing Maria again and holding her in a position similar to how Alice held Jane. I wrapped my arm around her neck and used my other to hold her head back, exposing her neck to me. In the time all of this happened, the other 4 tried to approach but the five Cullen's surrounded, defiantly showing our numbers over theirs. I was surprised at how intimidating even Esme seemed. I honestly thought of her as the most human of us but I guess the mother bear inside was exposed in the face of her family being attacked.

I saw Edward move slightly and I noticed that he was intensely focused again, the way he usually was. Apparently the mental shield was loosing focus and he was getting glimpses of everyone's thoughts. Maria was fighting me but I just yanked her head back more, keeping my eyes on Alice and Jane. Alice was watching Jane closely and amazingly enough Jane didn't seem to be fighting her. _**FEAR, SHOCK, DOUBT.**_ Jane seemed to be at a complete loss of how to deal with this, confirming my suspicion that she had never been physically assaulted before.

 _ **CONFUSION**_ radiated off the four vampires that were little more then pawns it seemed. With the two leaders quite literally in our grasps, they were lost. "Emmett." I spoke to him in a calm voice and he looked to me. I gestured to Maria and he came and took her from me. This caused a brief struggle but he held her easily, thanks to his strength. I was uncomfortable with Alice holding Jane and I needed to fix this. The truth was, we couldn't harm her. If we did it would bring all the power of Hell on us. She may just be a Volturi toy but she was Aro's personal favorite.

"Jane, you violated our laws. Maria attacking my mate gives me right to kill her. When you then attacked me, you gave Alice right to kill you." Jane's evil glare was on me but she wasn't stupid enough to use her ability. Alice looked at me with _**FEAR**_ in her eyes. I knew she didn't want to kill anyone, but Jane didn't need to know that. "I will release you Jane, but do it again and you will force my hand. "Alice." She looked at me and I nodded, letting her know to release Jane.

Alice released her and immediately Carlisle went to her, protecting her from Jane, should she choose to act against his daughter. I knew Jane wouldn't though. She was irrational and foolish, but not stupid. "You dare to threaten me."

"I dare to defend my mate, yes." My eyes stayed on hers and her eyes went to Maria, still in Emmett's clutches.

"Release her." She spoke in a no nonsense tone and I laughed.

"Don't press your luck Jane. Maria is not of your coven and she attacked both me and Alice unprovoked. I already showed you mercy. Maria is for..." I took a deep breath when I released what I was about to say. The words were about to come out so easily, even-though I'd never used them before. "...my coven to deal with." I literally felt all of the Cullen's starring at me but my eyes were on Alice alone. She gave me a big smile and I smiled back. Quick as a flash Alice was in my arms and I held her tightly. Yes I was claiming her family as mine. How could I not? The loyalty they had for not just my mate, but even me, showed that they were the closet thing to family I could have ever dreamed of. They weren't anything I could have anticipated and I doubted I would ever fully understand them, but care for them, follow them... That I could do, because in fact I already did.

This was my place, not just with Alice like I thought, but with all of them. I was a Cullen.

 ** **END NOTES:****

***PLEASE REVIEW. I don't have much longer to get reviews, since the story is almost done. :-)

***I loved putting Jane in Alice's clutches. I wanted to make her someone's BITCH and Alice was so perfect for the scene. She may be a baby vampire in this story, but she's not to be trifled with. Could she be anything less then awesome in a fight in order to be mated to Jasper? Lol

***I know the chapter was a bit anti-climactic when it comes to a physical confrontation, but well... it is the peaceful Cullen clan. LOL. I had planned a bigger showdown but it didnt feel right as I wrote so I did what seemed true to the characters.

***The next chapter will have a bit of a time skip but questions should be answered as Jasper reflects on the encounter. I would have put more here but I liked the closing I did with Jasper, and felt it was the perfect end to the chapter. He's officially a Cullen now.

***Just one chapter left. It will post soon. I promise. I'm very excited about it. I don't think it will be long but it will be a fun closing. H.E.A. for all. :-)

***Next and FINAL chapter will be titled "Living for LOVE."

Chapter (SONG) Title: "PAIN" by Three Days Grace- The song is very self explanatory for the chapter. It's about how feeling pain virtually lets you know that you can still feel at all.


	21. Living for LOVE

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

 **REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW**

 _ **NOTES: -PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE READ-**_

- **THE 21** **st** **and FINAL CHAPTER OF 'I SECOND THAT EMOTION'**

 **********************BIG HUGE THANKS TO ALL MY FANS**********************

 **\- I haven't gotten as many responses, followers, favorites as my other story but I loved this one and it will always be special to me as my first fanfic as well as my now first COMPLETE fiction.**

 **\- If you haven't left reviews please do, even prior chapters. I love reading them all and I always respond if it's possible to.**

 **\- I was trying to figure out the perfect way to celebrate my first complete fanfiction story in a way that gives me a chance to celebrate with all my readers as well, and I figured out the perfect solution... I will post three new chapters of 3 different stories at the same time. I will be posting the FINAL installment... Chapter #21 of 'I second that EMOTION', Chapter #10 of 'The Royal Imprint', and finally Chapter #1 of my new story 'Elementary Law of Order'.**

 **\- PLEASE READ or at least TRY each story if you haven't already. I want to see how many comments I can get. Let me know your favorite or anything else you have to say about any/all of the stories.**

 **************THANKS AGAIN. IT"S BEEN FUN WRITING FOR EVERYONE***************

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is reading

 _ **EMOTIONS**_ -Jasper is giving off

 ****- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)**

 **Chapter#21: Living for LOVE**

 **JPOV**

 _ **2 years later...**_

"What's the word, Bro?" Emmett, for some unknown reason, was deeply interested in the school gossip today. I chuckled from my position across from him. Next to me was Edward, who was studiously ignoring Emmett's request. He was just looking around the cafeteria, like he couldn't hear any of us, despite how obviously untrue that was.

"Why so interested?" I couldn't help but ask. Alice, who was in my lap, was smirking at her two brothers. Emmett wanted completely useless information and Edward was purposely not giving it to him to piss him off. I wasn't sure who was being more juvenile, however I couldn't deny that Emmett was fun to get a rise out of. Emmett shot me a dirty look and I just kept an innocent look on my face. I knew what baiting him could do, and that certainly didn't deter me from doing it. He was a lot of fun to mess with.

"Why aren't you?" A shrug was my immediate response.

"I suppose that the everyday lives of humans I don't know doesn't really interest me." Emmett rolled his eyes.

"When in Rome." He continued to glance around while I shook my head at the generic response. Getting involved with the humans, even in small ways, was risky and not something I took as lightly as the rest of the Cullen's did. Edward and Rosalie probably agreed with me the most of the family and were the best at keeping their distance, next to me of course. Just because we were among the humans didn't mean we were ever really with them. It was stupid and dangerous to think otherwise. Edward shot me a disapproving look but I ignored it. He didn't like my constant concern of exposure, most likely because he could hear it, if I wasn't blocking him. I couldn't help it though, it was what I did. I was essentially security for the family. It was my job to weigh the threats and have back-up plans.

"I'm just as excited as all of them." Alice admitted while she bounced on my lap and I smiled affectionately at her. She would be excited. She had just as much hope now as two years ago. She was utterly fascinated by humans and their day to day lives. Unlike with Emmett, who only cared when he was bored, Alice cared because she genuinely cared about humans. She found everything about them interesting, even small things, like eating. She liked looking around the cafeteria and seeing what different foods different humans would pick, who would eat a lot and who wouldn't. Every little thing like that was interesting to her. She loved seeing what humans would wear for the weather or social events. She loved listening to what they spoke about, what they cared about. It was amazing to see how much she cared about it all. In fact I was pretty sure that no matter how much she loved watching the humans, I thoroughly enjoyed watching HER even more. The way she enjoyed it all was fascinating. I loved watching her with it all. She was the most beautiful person in my world and it was always hard to take my eyes off her.

I pulled her face to me and kissed her. I meant for it to be a quick one but as usual I got caught up with her. I was an empath after all and emotions affected me greatly. Put me in a room full of teenage hormones with my mate present, and the results were more than a few overly heated displays.

"There are children present." Emmett spoke in mock outrage and I pulled away from Alice enough to shoot him a glare. Considering the PDA's he and Rosalie gave at all times of the day, regardless of location, he had NO room to talk. They were a VERY physical pair and they were also shameless about letting the world know it.

"Does that include you?" I couldn't resist asking. He was more childish then any teenage human I knew of, despite his age.

"No but it includes the 7 year old you're swapping saliva with." I narrowed my eyes at him. He absolutely LOVED Alice and I's age difference. Never-mind that we were both immortals and adults or the fact that Carlisle and Esme's age difference was even greater, he still only mocked me for it. Part of me wanted to mention that she was closer to 30 then 7, but if she didn't want to count her mysterious human years, I wouldn't disrespect that. Instead I growled lowly and he just smiled in challenge. For some strange reason he loved fighting with me. It almost always led to a physical altercation, which of course resulted in him losing, but he loved to fight. Like I said, he was a physical guy. I did love beating him though, not just to reaffirm my undefeated status but also because it REALLY upset him, to the point of full blown temper tantrums, complete with broken furniture, walls... buildings. Yes he was indeed an overly physical child.

"Don't start something you can never finish Emmett." I smirked as he glared. Both Edward and Alice started laughing, and even Rose was fighting a smirk. She knew I was right but certainly didn't want to upset him.

"I can finish it."

"History would state otherwise." I thought of only this morning when we had a 'minor' disagreement which caused him to yet again loose to me in a small fight.

"There's a first time for everything." He smirked when I shrugged.

"Not for this."

"He's right. You'll loose." I realized now that Alice had been scanning the future, obviously seeing Emmett loose if he challenged me again. I smiled sweetly at her before shooting him a smile while sporting a raised brow, as if to say 'I rest my case'.

"Of course she'll take YOUR side!" He bellowed a little to loud for the human audience surrounding us, causing quite a few to look at us.

"Yes, because only an idiot goes against my Jazzy in a fight." I smiled at Alice as she proudly spoke of my fighting skills.

"Are you calling me an idiot?" _**DISBELIEF**_ **.** I had to laugh at that tone. Was he seriously asking that? Even Rosalie called him an idiot just about daily and everyone else, while not actually saying the word out loud, definitely thought it.

"Maybe." She bounced happily as she continued to bait her brother.

"You've fought him too tinkerbell." That was technically true. She had spared with me, wanting to learn how to fight, but it was never serious.

"I wouldn't call that fighting." She smiled coyly and I nuzzled her neck while hiding my smirk. I knew what she was doing. I glanced at Edward and I saw him closing his eyes, probably wishing he could escape all the images going through our heads right now.

 ****Would you like some brain bleach Edward?**** He didn't respond in any way and instead he continued to glance around the cafeteria, pretending to ignore us all while I smirked at his expense.

"What would you call it then?" _**ANNOYANCE**_. Emmett stepped right into that little trap she set.

"Foreplay." She spoke the word so simply and I had to chuckle before catching his look of absolute _**DISGUST.**_ From there it took a great deal of control to stop myself from laughing loudly at his facial expression.

…...

"Here's our chance to get some info." Emmett was clearly happy to get away from our earlier topic as he gestured to the table on the opposite side of the cafeteria. It housed the most 'popular' students as well as our earlier topic of conversation that both Emmett and Alice were interested in.

Suddenly Edward directed his focus to the table which I found a bit odd. I fully expected him to ignore Emmett's request to spy on the students but it seemed I was wrong. He starred at the table with a surprising amount of focus. _**SHOCK, DISBELEIF, CURIOSITY.**_

** **Is everything alright?**** He had me a bit worried with his odd emotions. Edward was never interested in anything having to do with humans and yet now he was. What had he read in their thoughts? The problem with our lifestyle was it left us in a constant state of worry, concerning exposure. It was nice not living the homeless drifter style of life but this had drawbacks as well. Yes we had a home and roots, but we still were QUITE different from our neighboring species and had to keep them at a safe distance from us. This was what had me so worried at the moment. We'd been here for two years now, interacting with these humans. Were they finally suspicious?

After the final confrontation with Maria and Jane 2 years ago, Jane had parted with veiled threats of keeping her eyes on us. It was most likely an empty threat as she was just upset that she'd lost to us, taking quite the hit to her inflated ego. Luckily she knew she really had no grounds to stay there and Maria had attacked my mate unprovoked, giving me the right to end her. Jane had no loyalty to Maria, but had used the information she'd provided to challenge the coven that apparently she disliked for some unknown reason. Or maybe she'd been bored. Jane was sadistic enough to want to wipe out a coven, just because she could.

After Jane had left, and it was just Maria and her newborn remaining, I had to make a decision. Technically her life was forfeit but I didn't want to kill her. Well actually I did, more then I'd probably ever wanted to kill anyone, but I couldn't do it. I discovered that I liked they way Alice saw me. She didn't see the scarred malicious warrior that Maria had turned me into. She simply saw me as the love of her life, her mate, someone she was proud to call hers. THAT was who I wanted to be, not a killer. I wanted to be Alice's Jasper, not Maria's. I would never be hers again.

It was both the hardest and the easiest thing I'd probably ever done to simply dismiss Maria. I showed her no emotion and told her that if she ever came back or EVER threatened Alice again I would end her, without any mercy. Her emotions were full of _**RAGE, DISBELEIF,**_ and _**LOSS**_ but I simply didn't care. She was a wretched creature and I would leave her to her wretched life. She had no power over the peace I'd found. I was whole here, happy, and loved. There was nothing more I could ever want.

"Come on. Give us the gossip." Emmett was growing impatient and his words pulled me back to the present. Edward had yet to take his eyes off the table across the cafeteria. I realized that his eyes hadn't shifted from one spot the whole time. He was looking in one direction alone, or rather at one person. I followed his gaze and was met with the new girl, Isabella Swan. I had passed her at one point through the day but hadn't noticed anything off about her. She had curly brown hair and large brown eyes. She was shockingly pale for a human, without looking sick that is, but she seemed normal enough. I hadn't sensed anything worrisome in her emotions but obviously there was something off with her thoughts, in order to be getting such a reaction from the family telepath.

"Nothing." Edward spoke the word quickly with a large amount of _**DISBELIEF**_ in his tone.

"So the family of freaks isn't the topic of discussion like usual?" _**AMUSEMENT.**_ Emmett chuckled while looking around the cafeteria slightly. "I don't know if I find that comforting or offensive." Alice laughed and Rosalie rolled her eyes but I couldn't take my focus off Edward and the new girl.

"I didn't say that. Stanley is giving the dirt on us right now." Edward was still giving off _**SHOCK,**_ and _**DISBELEIF**_ in waves, but the curiosity had shifted to _**DETERMINATION**_ as he continued to stare at the human girl. What the hell was wrong? She was new here, so of all the humans here she was the least likely to be a threat to us. She couldn't have suspicions as apparently she'd only just been made aware of us.

"What does the new girl think about it all?" _**HOPE**_ Alice was hoping we didn't seem to strange to the girl. She always held the hope of making a human friend, though I was unclear of why exactly.

"Nothing." Edward repeated his earlier word with more _**DISBELIEF**_ then before.

"So she doesn't care?" _**CONFUSION.**_ Alice was trying to get clarification of what he meant and I was right there with her. What did he mean?

"I don't know." _**SHOCK**_ was at the forefront again for him.

"Oookay." Emmett's patience was reaching it's end but he was trying to reign in his annoyance.

"I can't hear her." I felt my brows raise as Edward spoke. I glanced back to the girl and tried to sort through what that meant. He couldn't hear her mind? Just her mind being silent said a lot, but what exactly?

"You can't hear her thoughts?" Rosalie spoke with her own considerable amount of _**DISBELEIF**_ now and I frowned at her as I also picked up _ **JEALOUSY, SURPRISE, ANNOYANCE, JUDGEMENT**_ and more negative feelings. Rosalie and I had grown more used to each-other over the last couple years but she still was not my favorite person, nor was I hers. How she could feel jealousy over Edward noticing the one person who's mind he can't read was beyond me. If I were him I'd at least be a little curious too.

"Can you pick up anything Tink?" Emmett asked Alice and immediately her eyes glazed over as she scanned the girls future. Edward turned to her in response to whatever she saw.

"Not a lot of decisions have been made yet." Alice glanced at Isabella curiously. "She has Biology next with Edward and I see her in there, sitting next to him. Nothing else." I glanced back to Edward and his brow was furrowed before he looked back at the girl, who I noticed shot him a couple curious glances as well. I wondered if he even noticed that she was looking at him as he openly STARRED at her.

"Alright General, the other two are letting me down here. Tell me you have at least something." Emmett turned to me expectantly and I sighed before focusing on the girls emotions. _**NERVOUSNESS, CURIOSITY, ATTRACTION, ANNOYANCE, HUMOR, AFFECTION.**_ She felt an array of things so I decided to tune into her conversation a bit more to piece it all together. It wasn't the easiest thing to do as emotions certainly weren't as clear as thoughts, but it was possible to piece things together with the right amount of observation and deduction. Apparently she didn't find the foster children dating cover to be strange as I didn't sense disgust or anything else similar from her. In fact her AFFECTION seemed to be aimed towards Carlisle and Esme for 'taking all of us in'. Her ANNOYANCE seemed to be directed at the Jessica girl and her disrespectful gossip, not that anyone could blame Isabella for that. The HUMOR was also directed at the girl, probably because of the girl alluding to Edwards disinterest in herself. She was CURIOUS about us but not judgmental in any way, like many humans were. Her NERVOUSNESS was everywhere, understandable considering it was her first day of school.

My eyebrows raised slightly as I picked up her ATTRACTION for my brother. It was a normal thing for me to sense from the humans when they saw us but hers was different, there was a softness to it. It wasn't just a raw physical feeling, it was more innocent then what I was used to sensing from a stranger. Sure we were attractive to humans but most found our predatory strangeness enough of a deterrent to fight that off on any real level. I wasn't getting that from her though. What I was picking up was that there was no hesitation, fear, or other normal human responses to seeing vampires. She didn't feel any of it, just curiosity and attraction.

I relayed to them all that I read, leaving out the attraction of course. I didn't want to embarrass the poor thing, or Edward for that matter. He had a peculiar amount of interest in the girl, and I was quite shocked by it. "So Edward, you can't read anything but the other two are having no problems at all. What do you have to say for yourself?" Emmett scolded mockingly.

"I'm not sure..." It was plainly obvious that Edward was only half listening to Emmett yet he managed to respond. "Why don't you use your power and see if it works on her?" Edward eyed Emmett briefly before returning his focus to the girl, and I laughed. Emmett just starred menacingly. "Oh that's right, you don't have one." Edward went back to ignoring him as he starred at Isabella again.

The rest of the table continued on like Isabella had never been a topic, everyone but Edward anyway. His focus was only on her and it wasn't exactly veiled. _**FRUSTRATION, DETERMINATION, CURIOSITY, CONCERN, INTRIGUE.**_ So much was racing through him. For a split second I had worried when I picked up the concern from him, thinking he had heard something dangerous for us, but I realized almost immediately that this was a more personal concern. Edward's emotions had shifted from observer to something else entirely as he watched her. I tried to be discreet as I watched them both, feeling like in some strange way, I was intruding. On what I had no idea, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I kept an ear on the conversations happening at her table and it was clear that she wasn't really interested in what was being said and that she was, if anything, a bit uncomfortable by all the attention on her. Is that why Edward was concerned? I knew he was listening to the conversations at her table as much as he was the thoughts, so was that the reason for his growing emotions? Was he worried about her?

…...

A little before lunch ended Alice and I walked hand in hand towards her class. The bell would ring soon and the science building was far from the cafeteria so I knew Edward and the girl wouldn't interact for awhile yet. I casually asked Alice if Edward was alright and she immediately scanned his future. When she came out of it she displayed _**CONFUSION.**_ I stopped walking as I pulled her face to me so I could watch her expression.

"What did you see darlin?"

"I saw Edward talking to Bella." I must have looked confused by the name, so Alice explained that 'Bella' was what the girl preferred to be called. I nodded and Alice continued to look confused. "It's not like him to talk to humans, but I see HIM asking the questions not her." I nodded in agreement. Of all of us, Rose and him were the least likely to converse with humans, and myself of course. Me because I was still uncomfortable around human blood and Rose because she was both annoyed with humans and horribly jealous of them. Edward on the other hand kept his distance out of concern and guilt. It was clear that he would always carry burdens on his shoulders for things he can't ever change. He was a deep man and I sincerely hoped that someday he could find peace over his past.

"Perhaps she's more special then we think." I didn't want to bluntly speak my suspicions and I was hoping Alice would form her own conclusions. Her eyes glazed over and I imagined she was looking at the girls immediate future now. I brought my hand to her hair and stroked softly as she came out of the vision.

"I see her telling Edward about her life..." Her brow furrowed further and I waited for her to explain. "She has had the whole school ask her about her life in Arizona and she's revealed nothing, but she will tell him as soon as he asks." I smiled slightly at that piece of information.

"What do you make of that?" I had to ask. I knew what I was thinking was preposterous, impossible even, and yet emotions never lied.

"I saw him smiling when he spoke to her." She continued to analyze like she hadn't heard me at all. "He never smiles like that, and he never listens that closely, at least to humans." The bell was going to ring so I took Alice's hand and lead her the last bit of a distance to her classroom.

"I love you." I spoke softly as I gave her a very small kiss, still not a fan of PDA's as I preferred to keep our moments between the two of us. She smiled at my attentions before entering her class as I made my way down to my room, which wasn't far.

 _ **ATTRACTION**_ is such a strange emotion. It can mean so much or it can mean so little. It can be as simple as seeing someone physically appealing and then just as quickly as the feeling came, the moment passes and you never think of that person or emotion towards them again. Attraction can also be the start of something big. I thought back a little more then two years ago when I met the Cullen's in that forest and they invited me to their home. I had ran with them and as I watched Alice and she watched me, I had felt _**ATTRACTION,**_ both hers and mine. At the time I had seen it as a reason to be concerned but not much else. Oh what the emotion grew into though.

I didn't really believe in Love at first sight. Yes I was empathic and felt a lot, but initial contact was NOT love. It could be curiosity, like, lust, intrigue, or yes... attraction. It was an emotion that could literally start a chain of events unlike anything else. It had been the link that changed my life. I was attracted to Alice, which was probably the biggest reason I even went to their home to begin with. Then that attraction lead to devotion, even on a small scale, when I agreed to stay simply because she had wanted me to. From there the devotion turned to determination, as I shifted my diet and entire way of life for her and this lifestyle. From there LOVE came through as I realized that Alice was MINE and I was hers.

Yes attraction could mean nothing, or it could mean everything. I smirked as I thought back to the emotions in that cafeteria. _**ATTRACTION.**_ It was so small and barely noticeable in a room filled with much louder emotions, but somehow I had felt it just the same. It was there and despite what Edward would ever admit, especially to himself, it wasn't just coming from the human girl. I was picking it up from him as well.

The question was now a matter of what it meant. For Edward, for Bella, for us, for the future. Did it mean nothing, and would pass easily, or did it mean the start of everything for both him and her? Who knew? I smirked to myself as I entered my class and sat down at my desk quietly.

A vampire and a human... I suppose stranger things could happen...

THE END

 ** **END NOTES:****

***PLEASE REVIEW. It's my last real chance to get comments on this story.

***What did everyone think?

***It was always my plan to turn this alternate story into a prequel of sorts and I'm hoping it all came together okay. I obviously made some changes (wolves, characters, etc...) but it's how I would have written it. LOL

***I practically combined the first two cafeteria scenes between Edward and Bella in the original story as it never made much sense to me that he wasn't more curious about the one person who's mind was blank to him. If I was a 100+ old telepath, a quiet mind would certainly have my attention. I like it better for Edward to be intrigued by her without the singer blood playing a role in it right away. Their story is sweeter that way. :-) No I didn't get rid of the singer blood lust between Edward and Bella in the end. Remember that Alice's vision was based on Edward's decision to talk to Bella, not on anything else. He hadn't smelled her blood yet to have his violent reaction we all know well from the book. This was a preliminary vision. 'The future can always change'. * **Wink Wink** *

Chapter (SONG) Title: "Living for LOVE" by Madonna- This song is all about giving someone or something everything you had and being crushed. The motto of I'm 'LIVING FOR LOVE' is about carrying on to live and love again, not giving your past the chance to destroy everything you can become. I love the line of "Love's gonna lift me up" because it teaches that realizing the harsh realities of the past doesn't mean you have to become a cynic, you can still choose to be a believer, To Believe in Love.

***Fitting Song for the final chapter in more ways then one***

THANKS AGAIN TO ALL MY READERS. YOU ARE ALL AMAZING


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